It's Tops or Not?

[+ Lucky]

In another thread, a poster claims he would love to see Jason Carter, but cannot, because Jason does not bottom. My reaction to that was why would that stop you? Is your sex life so limited that you cannot find many things to do with a hot guy who otherwise attracts you? No versatility here? Seriously, tops, is the fact that a hot guy doesn't bottom a deal-breaker, or do you ever go in with the idea that the two of you will find some novel ways to have fun?

[+ sf westcoaster]

Lucky, I agree with you - there is a whole lot more to a satisfying encountered than just one type of activity. Not to imply that I don't enjoy top/bottom activities, but some of my fondness memories, involded neither top nor bottom, but were sexually charged through kissing, body contact, caressing and of course a bit of oral activity.

[+ Gar1eth]

Lucky, I agree with you - there is a whole lot more to a satisfying encountered than just one type of activity. Not to imply that I don't enjoy top/bottom activities, but some of my fondness memories, involded neither top nor bottom, but were sexually charged through kissing, body contact, caressing and of course a bit of oral activity.

 

I was the OP--and to both of you I say I am glad that you find other things to do--but "to each his own". I do like other activities--am especially into kissing. I will even admit to liking some things more than I like topping. But this is an expensive "hobby"--it is also, unfortunately for me, my only sexual outlet. In addition I normally hire at the minimum for overnights --and usually for weekends--well to be totally honest I've had more one and 2 hour appointments over the last year than usual (money problems). So considering the expense and the amount of time I am with an escort--in my own mind--and in this instance it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks--it doesn't make sense to spend time with a strict top.

 

Gman

[jackcali]

It's a good question, and one that escorts should be sensitive to, especially with older or impaired clients. I'm a top by history and inclination, and while I sometimes bottomed for a close boyfriend, I never enjoyed it. Nowadays, because of some health issues, I don't always get hard enough to top and if I don't, I fill up the session with other things I enjoy, like making out, oral, rimming and good old dry-humping (just like high school, lol). While my mind sometimes dwells on my situation and I regret that I don't have the cock to pound the daylights out of my escort (and when it does show up, I love to take advantage of it), if I can leave that thought behind and just be in the moment, I can have as hot a time with an escort as I've ever had.

[Racketjock]

In the moment

 

I have been both a top and bottom, but just enjoy topping a hot ass more. I have had the pleasure of spending time with an escort without anal before. More than once I have been so overwhelmed by someone's oral skills to be left speechless, save my groaning, as well as speechless and spent. So, for me, it isn't a deal breaker if they don't bottom. In my western book, there's a lot of fun things to do in the hay that I enjoy in addition to mounting up for a ride!

[+ Gar1eth]

I have been both a top and bottom, but just enjoy topping a hot ass more. I have had the pleasure of spending time with an escort without anal before. More than once I have been so overwhelmed by someone's oral skills to be left speechless, save my groaning, as well as speechless and spent. So, for me, it isn't a deal breaker if they don't bottom. In my western book, there's a lot of fun things to do in the hay that I enjoy in addition to mounting up for a ride!

 

 

But it's all personal choice--and this is mine.

Now that being said I don't always top--sometimes I am not firm enough--sometimes the guy is just too tight-etc. But I at least like to know that the option is on the table.

 

Gman

[jasoncarter_dfw]

All very understandable viewpoints! While I am versatile, I choose to save being a bottom for my personal relationship. Therefore, I do not offer that as option to my clients. That doesn't mean I'm a bad lay by any means...it's just a choice I've made.

[jackhammer91406]

I debated for a while on whether to weigh in on this thread.

Guess I decided my take hadn't been represented by others so here it is.

 

Simply put...Not all tops like cock. Without exception all bottoms I have met like cock.

So when I look to hook up, whether holiday or paid, I generally look for a versatile or bottom. Most often they like to kiss, do oral and so forth. Not all tops fall into this category. If I have met the guy socially and already know that he enjoys mutual oral and kissing, then I can find plenty of things to do with him that both of us will enjoy. Otherwise, it's easier to reduce the search field. Subjective? hell yes. Time saving? most assuredly.

[jasoncarter_dfw]

That's exactly why if I get an email asking me about my likes, I say "I'm a top, orally versatile, affectionate and a great kisser!"

[+ nycman]

I'm a top and I love being a top.

 

And, I've had plenty of great experiences with other tops.

Hell, 2 of my 3 long term relationships were with other tops.

So I know how to "get along in the sandbox" with another top.

 

Nonetheless, when I hire an escort, I want a dude who enjoys

bottoming. Not another top, not a "vers/top" (10 years of hiring

and I STILL don't know what the hell that means), and I avoid at

all cost someone who "can bottom, if I have too".

 

Totally versatile works for me, as long as they know with me

that means total bottom. And big hairy muscular Brazilian

"fuck me daddy" bottoms move to the front of the line.

 

What confuses me is why anyone else would give a fuck about

how, what, when, or where I spend my cash on escorts. I don't

consider myself sexually limited at all. I consider myself a man

who knows what he wants.

 

In summary, to each his own, and remember to HAVE FUN!

[seaboy4hire]

Lucky some guys just can not bottom for the life of them no matter how hard they try. A really good friend of mine who has tried to bottom has had some very not so good experiences bottoming. A few have had him going to the ER just in case due to anal bleeding :O and the tops were only about 6 inches. That is just one example.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ Oliver]

He certainly is/does!

 

... about my likes, I say "I'm a top, orally versatile, affectionate and a great kisser!"

 

Definitely ALL of the above!!!

[buttlvr99]

Speaking of tops and bottoms here is something you might find interesting, an informal poll based on cities.

 

http://gawker.com/5272100/if-you-live-in-houston-youre-probably-a-bottom

 

While it seems there are plently of bottoms out there, I don't find that to be the case among escorts, where bottoms rarely exceed more than 25% of any city much to my dismay.

[+ Lucky]

All I was thinking was that to have a chance to spend some time with Jason Carter (or similar hot top) would be a nice opportunity, and for someone to let it go simply because they couldn't put their dick in his ass simply ignores all of the other charms that could have come your way. I understand that people have preferences, but to be so limited baffles me.

[+ Gar1eth]

All I was thinking was that to have a chance to spend some time with Jason Carter (or similar hot top) would be a nice opportunity, and for someone to let it go simply because they couldn't put their dick in his ass simply ignores all of the other charms that could have come your way. I understand that people have preferences, but to be so limited baffles me.

 

Lucky--if I were ever to meet Jason in a non-paid social situation and he took enough of a liking to me to want to invite me back to his place for some fun--or me to invite him back to mine--unlikely in the extreme as #1 he's happily partnered and #2 I'm pretty ugly--then I would #1 be in hog heaven and #2 be extremely happy to play around and explore what we could do together up to his limits.

 

However if I am paying for my time--and considering how long it takes me to recover for another "go round"--it doesn't make sense to me to knowingly meet with someone who doesn't offer all that I may want. Notice I said "may want." I met with a local guy the other day. We spent a great 2 hours together--did I top him?--no--but the option was there if I wanted to.

 

So while I would like to meet Jason, I am only claiming that-- for me--and me alone--it doesn't make sense. Others can do as they wish--see how magnanimous I am.

 

Gman

[+ Lucky]

I understand, Gar1eth, that when you are paying for fun, you want to maximize your pleasure. The only difference is that I think some escorts are good enough that the pleasure is maximized even without the potential for penetration. But it's your money.

 

Now, why do you keep calling yourself ugly? What are your biggest attributes? Say something(s) really nice about yourself...

[N.N.]

Speaking of tops and bottoms here is something you might find interesting, an informal poll based on cities.

 

http://gawker.com/5272100/if-you-live-in-houston-youre-probably-a-bottom

 

I agree with their top finding: of the places I've lived in, guys in New York were most likely to be tops.

[+ Gar1eth]

I agree with their top finding: of the places I've lived in, guys in New York were most likely to be tops.

 

 

So I guess the question is "strict top" in NYC vs "I prefer to top but will bottom". Also if there are more tops as clients in NYC--then why is it my impression that the majority of the escorts on RB list themselves as tops-or possibly versatile tops. So if if there really is a supply and demand model for escorting--shouldn't more escorts in NYC be advertising what great bottoms they are?

 

Gman

[alanalt]

All I was thinking was that to have a chance to spend some time with Jason Carter (or similar hot top) would be a nice opportunity, and for someone to let it go simply because they couldn't put their dick in his ass simply ignores all of the other charms that could have come your way. I understand that people have preferences, but to be so limited baffles me.

 

Actually, I find it kind of ironic in this case since, according to his ad, Jason Carter only accepts clients over 30...

 

Alan

[Guest jaighbos]

I've read and re-read this post a number of times, thinking about the whole issue. Lucky, I didn't read the post you reference about the guy who was disappointed that Jason didn't top, so if I misinterpret I apologize in advance. I am extremely fortunate in that many of my sexual needs are fulfilled on a regular basis, but topping is not one of them. So when I look to spend time with an escort the ability for me to top, amongst all the many other things I enjoy to do, is very important. Living in NYC I am also very fortunate in the number of escorts available so I can make sure I find someone who likes doing the things that I like to be able to do. And many escort ads state that clients please be specific about their likes/dislikes and I do express those things. What troubles me is the judgment that simply because someone has a request that the escort is one who bottoms is a "limiting" factor. I totally agree that one can have a great time with another person without doing every act known to man, and I've have great times with escorts where I didn't top. And sometimes I've seen escorts a couple of times before we move on to that particular act, there are so many layers of chemistry involved, sometimes things require certain evolutions. I just don't think that because a client is looking for an escort who bottoms necessarily implies that that person has a limited spectrum of enjoyment. It strikes me wrong that on one had we be asked to be specific on what we want, and then be criticized for it. For me, if an escort doesn't bottom, totally cool, I look elsewhere, but nor do I lament the fact. People do what they want to do, and their boundaries are to be respected.

[+ Lucky]

Okay and then some. But here's a fact that I have encountered in my life: guys who won't do something often do do it, even though in most cases it takes some time to develop a comfort zone. That can't be done in an hour, so yes, go for the guy who says he will do what you want. I'm not saying every guy will do what he says he won't, but you'd be surprised at how many eventually give it a try. Part of the fun of hiring for me is to see what a guy does do without me telling him too, and then seeing where the relationship goes from there. If I had accepted that one of my favorite escorts didn't fuck, (he claimed to be straight), then I would never have had the fun when he did fuck me.

 

Jason, I am sure, is exempted from all of this because his purpose is to save it for his lover, and even a cad like me wouldn't want to ruin that.

[+ Gar1eth]

I understand, Gar1eth, that when you are paying for fun, you want to maximize your pleasure. The only difference is that I think some escorts are good enough that the pleasure is maximized even without the potential for penetration. But it's your money.

 

Now, why do you keep calling yourself ugly? What are your biggest attributes? Say something(s) really nice about yourself...

 

Unfortunately I am not the most attractive guy--most young guys might use the word "troll" when looking at me. I am not overly pessimistic--just honest. I will admit that it has been months--or at least weeks --since a small animal,backed up in fear, yelped, and wet himself at the 1st sight of me. Hmm if that is too much "damning with faint praise"--how about this--I take a really nice driver's license photo

 

Gman

[damerel]

I debated for a while on whether to weigh in on this thread.

Guess I decided my take hadn't been represented by others so here it is.

 

Simply put...Not all tops like cock. Without exception all bottoms I have met like cock.

So when I look to hook up, whether holiday or paid, I generally look for a versatile or bottom. Most often they like to kiss, do oral and so forth. Not all tops fall into this category. If I have met the guy socially and already know that he enjoys mutual oral and kissing, then I can find plenty of things to do with him that both of us will enjoy. Otherwise, it's easier to reduce the search field. Subjective? hell yes. Time saving? most assuredly.[/color][/size][/font]

 

 

I agree! I'm a bottom/vers and I love to kiss, suck cock and get fucked. Not always in that order

Throw in a cum facial and you've got a fan.

[Guest jaighbos]

Okay and then some. But here's a fact that I have encountered in my life: guys who won't do something often do do it, even though in most cases it takes some time to develop a comfort zone. That can't be done in an hour, so yes, go for the guy who says he will do what you want. I'm not saying every guy will do what he says he won't, but you'd be surprised at how many eventually give it a try. Part of the fun of hiring for me is to see what a guy does do without me telling him too, and then seeing where the relationship goes from there. If I had accepted that one of my favorite escorts didn't fuck, (he claimed to be straight), then I would never have had the fun when he did fuck me.

 

Jason, I am sure, is exempted from all of this because his purpose is to save it for his lover, and even a cad like me wouldn't want to ruin that.

 

Lucky, you are right on, and so I should amend my remarks. I was thinking too much in the absolute, and not taking into consideration some instances where there are some things that aren't done on a "first date", let along the "first hour"! Jason still being exempted because of his stated reason, as well as anyone else who has a hard and firm rule. I'm someone who prefers multiple hours because I just feel more comfortable talking, visiting, etc. first, so I was looking at it from that perspective. But it would be great to know that there are escorts who don't do certain things at first but if personalities/vibes, etc. sync on subsequent dates they may be open to other things. And so I now will be more flexible with my wants at first meetings, 'cuz, I may miss out on a future good thing. Thanks!

[+ Lucky]

I hope it works out that way for you.