Homesick Blues Tonight

[Guest tmbg]

I was born in Miami and lived in Orlando most of my life. I have been in Southern California now for nearly 10 months. It's a very nice part of the country yet I'm feeling homesick tonight. I miss the weather, there is very little of that out here and some of my old hang outs. My relocation was due to my employment.

 

I wonder how many other guys have relocated whom are around my age 38? How did you deal with it?

 

Cheers! Ritchie

[Guest Ant415]

Hi,

 

I feel for you. I was 35, and moved from Chicago to SF area. That was five years ago. I think a lot of people make a big move in their mid/late 30's. Early enough in career to make a change.

 

I still miss home. Though settled, I'll never feel totally at home here in SF. SF is a great place... but not home. The people are different. And the pizza sucks here.

[OneFinger]

>I wonder how many other guys have relocated whom are around

>my age 38? How did you deal with it?

 

Ritchie,

 

I moved 2,000 miles away from my home when I was about 38. Believe me, it was not easy. I didn't realize how many friends I had made and how difficult it would be to start that whole process over again.

 

After ten years of feeling like a fish out of water, I moved back to my home state and really love it. I was able to pick up again with my friends and it was the best move I made.

 

However, for the past 4 months, I've been away from home again on business. What I've done to keep my sanity while in a new area is to play tourist. I make sure all the weekends are filled with places to go and things to do that are unique to that local area. (Of course, it helps to be on an expense account.)

 

I've also found that getting involved doing volunteer work helps get you familiar with a new area. Also suggest joining a hiking club, photo club, or other activity that you really enjoy. The important thing is to get out and don't vegetate at home.

 

Good luck.

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>I wonder how many other guys have relocated whom are around

>my age 38? How did you deal with it?

 

I hate the way large corporations think they can transfer you at their whim, making it clear that to refuse the transfer/promotion will impact negativly upon your future advancement.

 

They have this convoluted thinking that it is easier to transfer a single guy as he does not have a wife and kids. What they fail to realize is that it is easier on the married guy because at 5:00 o'clock, when the business day is over, he goes home to what he has always gone home to - his family.

 

But the single guy goes home to an empty apartment with absolutely no one there, no friends he can contact - something like doing solitary!

He has to start over from scratch - 100%

 

It's about time the "human resourse" guys (I hate that term, what was wrong with the old term "personnel"?) realise this and do something about it.

 

Thunderbuns

[Guest tmbg]

>

>They have this convoluted thinking that it is easier to

>transfer a single guy as he does not have a wife and kids.

>What they fail to realize is that it is easier on the

>married guy because at 5:00 o'clock, when the business day

>is over, he goes home to what he has always gone home to -

>his family.

>

>But the single guy goes home to an empty apartment with

>absolutely no one there, no friends he can contact -

>something like doing solitary!

>He has to start over from scratch - 100%

>

Thunderbuns, As are all the replies to this thread, this is an excellent point you make. Actually there was a married man (not sure if he has kids) who could have been sent here just as easy as me. I do think in part I was given this "opportunity" because I am single.

 

Cheers! Ritchie

[Guest Charon]

As one of the married men who has been relocated for work twice in the last 5 years (at my own choice), I can tell you it's a lot easier when you bring your best friend with you. I couldn't have done this when I was single.

[+ deej]

It's not just relocations that are difficult on single guys. Businesss travel is difficult as well, and it's often the single guy who gets the call for exactly the same reasons. When you get home, you're faced with an empty refrigerator and a dirty home because nobody's been there to do the daily chores.

 

At one company I worked for, I was on the road more often than not. And since I was also the token "gentile" I'd usually get any trip involving a Friday.

 

The exceptions, of course, were destinations like the south of France. My boss took those, and I got Albany, NY or Omaha, NE instead. LOL

[BewareofNick]

Ritchie, I was born and raised in Orlando. I moved to Atlanta in 1998. E-mail me at [email protected]

We can take a stroll down memory lane sometime!

[J-Man]

I was born and raised in the Bay Area (SF); when I was 27 I moved to the Washington DC area. At that time, I had never been farther east than Reno, Nevada, so it was a MAJOR culture shock. I stayed there for eight years, then moved to Southern California (also a culture shock for those of you familiar with the vast differences between northern and southern Calif.!)

 

Anyway, I was very happy for the opportunity to move east; it greatly expanded my view of the world and enabled me to see a lot more of the country and the world, and to value the ability to travel.

 

However, I can empathize with your loneliness. I had no problems when I moved east; I was younger and made a lot of friends. Also, I was in a situation where I was with a lot of people who'd relocated from elsewhere. This created an atmosphere where everyone was looking for friends at the same time. But when I moved back west, I was older and I was in a situation where I was the only new guy at work, so my friendships ended up being outside the office.

 

Enjoy So Cal. As far as I'm concerned, the weather is FAR better than Florida's! But I guess it's what you're used to. Personally, I cannot stand humidity-- that was one of the reasons I decided to come back to Calif.

[Guest tmbg]

BON I just might take you up on the offer. I plan a visit back home this summer, possibly we can do a little boy watching together :-)

 

Cheers! Ritchie

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

deep dish

 

>The people are different. And the pizza sucks here.

 

Try Powell's Chicken in Hayes Valley for people and comfort food close to the Midwest and there used to be a really great place which specialized in "Chicago" style deep dish pizza on Filmore near Pacific Heights. I am not sure it is still there but you can certainly ask around. The Men's YMCA on Central is old and run down but they maintain it as best as they can and it is a very friendly, non-judgmental place to meet people AND work out.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

LA

 

I think Southern California can be a very lonely place. Many of the friends I have made were once clients or were or are escorts and I think it is also harder to make friends when you move in your mid-30s.

 

I started volunteering last year and still may only now I have less free time than I did before. I am also writing again, riding my bike and reading a great deal. Good luck to you!

[Guest JH]

RE: LA

 

When I was living in Sydney last year, I found the easiest way to meet people was through voluntary work and I made a lot of very good friends that way. I wasn't working full time, so I guess that was an easy course for me, but I'd still recommend it if you have the time and energy.

[J-Man]

And feel free to e-mail me, as well:

[email protected]

 

As I said before, I'm a transplant to SoCal too; I've been here about 14 years now, so ALMOST a native! :-)

[Rod Hagen]

RE: LA

 

LA sucks hairy poopy anus.