Community?

[duke37]

Thanks guys for the interesting reading.

 

My question is: Is this board a community? Do we share enough of the same things that make a community come alive? And if so what kind of place is this? Do we have a responsibility to other people on this board?

 

My question is prompted by the thread discussing two camps, also exFratboys comment about this being a escort Zagats and a fan club for escorts was significant to me. It seems to work. Why?

 

The first responsibility we have to each other, right off the top of my head, is to be honest. Honesty requires I say that reading this board, later posting, has been a life changing experience. I guess I'm not alone on this thought. Are we more or less honest here than with friends,family or strangers in the wide world?

[Guest RockvilleGuy]

IMHO.....while visiting this site for almost 2-years and not having made but a couple posts, I feel it is a community. Why? People who share the same but unique interest can come and discuss, disagree, get angry, sad, happy or glad! For me, it has helped me a great deal in understanding my feelings, urges etc. While i am Bi and closeted (and plan on staying this way), I can come here and chat with you guys and get honest (mostly) opinions without exposing my sexuality to others in my "local" community. Its a great place for me to come and visit, share, and realize I'm not alone.

I also want to take a sentence here to thank HooBoy for this site and his dream in creating it. HooBoy, you have helped more people than you could ever realize. THANKS!!!

[Guest Gentle Dude]

>I also want to take a sentence here to thank HooBoy for this

>site and his dream in creating it. HooBoy, you have helped

>more people than you could ever realize. THANKS!!!

 

I second that. You just don't know how this site has changed my life completely. I am now able to explore and enjoy my sexuality to the fullest. Thanks Hooboy.

 

GD

[BuckyXTC]

Yes, I believe this is a community of sorts, because participation links you at some level with everyone else who participates, for better and for worse. The message center does provide a relatively safe place for asking questions and offering opinions that I have personally found useful. I have also made some friends as a result of my participation here, and that alone was worth the effort. And I'm not really sure I would have ever taken the plunge and hired that first escort if this site hadn't existed, or one similar to it. While I have many friends and acquaintances in no way connected with this website, I would feel a real sense of sadness if it vanished tomorrow. It does provide a place where I can connect with folks who share some common interests, and frequently, some common values as well.

 

Thanks, Hooboy. You've done a good thing here.

[+ Lucky]

I find it interesting that many reviewers state that an escort experience changed his life, and now we have people saying that a web site changed their lives.

What kind of life did you have before?

[Guest Gentle Dude]

>I find it interesting that many reviewers state that an

>escort experience changed his life, and now we have people

>saying that a web site changed their lives.

>What kind of life did you have before?

 

Well, prior to discovering this site, I exclusively dated and had a number of LTR with women. Although I fooled around a couple of times with men in my teens, I suppressed it all when I came to the US. Being Asian and growing Catholic hindered me from pursuing my sexual desires with men. I was content with the relationships I had with women but in the back of my mind I always knew I also wanted to be with men and explore more of my sexuality. I devoted most of my years making money and investing in real estates and other businesses. I was also a senior executive making a six figure salary. In short, I became a "workaholic" and this was probably the reason why my last relationship ended. I then decided to leave the corporate world and take time off this year to reassess my life.

 

In April of this year, I discovered this site and finally decided to hire my first escort. I was so nervous that it took me months to even have my first encounter with him. I enjoyed the experience tremendously and have hired him regularly for days at a time.

 

I've also decided to take time off again next year and devote my time just travelling. I will be using this site to choose the escorts that will be accompanying me on these trips. I know one day I will have to make a decision to have another LTR and stop hiring escorts, but right now, I'm enjoying the experience...thanks to this site.

 

GD

[BuckyXTC]

>What kind of life did you have before?

 

A life considerably less cynical than the one you often portray here.

[Guest BenDover]

When the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were attacked on September 11, those who use this board immediately began to inquire about various fellows', both escorts and client/site contributors, well-being. There was genuine concern expressed, and even in the last few days, an unaccounted for member's status was brought up again. And when Andy aka Biga, passed away while on travels, the board was flooded with condolences, thoughts and prayers.

 

We've seen guys go through substance abuse recovery, heard horror stories of stalkers, threats of lawsuits and exposure. Each time, the out-pouring of concern, support and offers of help came forward. We have tried to protect others from unscrupulous hustlers/cads and cruel and thoughtless clients.

 

We listen to some of the most outrageous claims, accusations, idiocies, political rhetoric, grammar and spelling corrections. Endure racist, sexist, xenophobic and malicious harangues, sometimes in joke-form, sometimes in outright bigotry. And in all of it, there are those who respect peoples' rights to free speech, there is very little judgment about topics that in typical society could have one involuntarily hospitalized and detained in some places.

 

A community? Yes, I think so. One like no other, and I thank the goddess that I'm a member of it.

[Guest AdamLVescort]

Well.. I do feel like this is a community! I consider myself to have a pretty good life. I am learning how to Design Websites, I have a wonderful BF of 2 years, and I enjoy talking to everyone on this message board. So call me a geek but this is the life I enjoy. Trust me I get out and go to bars, take my boat out, do whatever I want too. But I can say this,"I look forward to come home and see what other people have posted." I don't get into gossip about other people or name calling. Thats not me! But I do like asking questions and I do like hearing from very inteligent men. You guys even though w/ some attitude are so smart. I can't tell you how many times you have cracked my ass up! I think that there are times where we need to be a little more considerate of others feelings but that is your choice. My mom taught me to behave! I can't lie, I have to really find out answers and this is my source. People email me just about every day saying I read your post or just saying Hi! That means the world to me. With out this board I probably wouldn't have met half the people I know today.

 

Hooboy rocks and maybe someday I will build him a database driven website. hehe

 

I love all of you! No matter what!

[duke37]

>I find it interesting that many reviewers state that an

>escort experience changed his life, and now we have people

>saying that a web site changed their lives.

>What kind of life did you have before?

 

Well, different. I wouldn't have tried the experience without the site.

[Guest Kevin 2]

Hum..Looks like we have another sweetheart escort posting here now. It's certainly refreshing to see an escort posting here with such kind words. Adam, I may be a little behind others but welcome aboard! I enjoy your posts here and stay sweet. :9

[+ Lucky]

Dear BuckyXTC

My question was not meant to be cynical. I am truly curious why people think their lives have been changed by an escort or this site. Some of the responses, yours excepted, have been informative.

Lucky-no XTC

[Will]

It depends, of course, on what you mean by "community." The word itself gets hurled about so frequently -- not least by those who speak of the "gay community," which in my book is an oxymoron -- that it has become virtually meaningless.

 

But if by "community" you mean a voluntary collective of persons who communicate with each other about commonly held values, who speak a common language, and who, as a group, find themselves sufficiently distinguishable from other groups that do not embrace those values, or talk about them, or have an appropriate vocabulary, then I think it is obvious that the answer to your question is, Yes, M4M is a commmunity.

 

Does that mean that everyone who checks in at this address is a member of that community? No. No more than someone passing through a small town, or even an extended visitor who finds no commonality with the other residents. Does that mean that there are rules and responsibilities? Not ones that can be legislated, no, but I think there is a tacit consensus about limits of behavior; and in any case the community head, HooBoy, has set some very clear (and very welcome, I might add) boundaries around inadmissable speech.

 

M4M is the only -- I repeat: ONLY -- website of any genre that I visit daily, that I contribute to when it seems appropriate, and many of whose denizens I admire, respect, and like. I have thoughts about why that is, but those would take me beyond your question.

 

In another context I'd be glad to answer the question of my life "before" and "after." And at another time.

[BuckyXTC]

>Dear BuckyXTC

>My question was not meant to be cynical. I am truly curious

>why people think their lives have been changed by an escort

>or this site. Some of the responses, yours excepted, have

>been informative.

>Lucky-no XTC

 

Lucky: My apologies for a brain-fart. I mistook you for another participant whose screenname begins with an "L" who generally spews unbridled cynicism and venom here, along with some others we have to contend with ad nauseum. Sorry for my mistake, and my rush to judgment. There was nothing wrong with the question you posed. I was wrong and I apologize. I'll be the first to admit my fallibility.

[+ Lucky]

Bucky. your apology is acepted! I can see now where some people have developed the courage to make a date with an escort, and I do think that in some bizarre fashion that there is a community here.

Like any other community, we have a mix of people. Some are the ones I would have over for coffee, others are ones I would build a fence to keep them off my property, if you want me to tell the truth.

At any rate , I look forward to the posts, the controversy, and the gossip! I know that if I travel around the country, there are many of you that I would like to meet.

[BewareofNick]

Yet another example of why we can call this a community: people disagree, make up and then fawn all over each with apologies

 

We have the busybodies, the malcontents, the niceguys, the police (aka the moderators), the mayor (aka Hooboy), the enforcer (aka Daddy), the attractive yet mysterious PI (who could THAT be ), the staff photographer (where have you gone, Jizz???????)

 

People come, people go and yet the community remains.

 

I think I like that!

[Guest cmp]

Thanks all for the interesting threads. I think this is indeed a community in many ways, and I am glad to be part of it. And just having been bashed without the slightest provocation on my part, the familiar feeling of a real human community is now complete.