Fin Fing Foom Is Officially Creeped Out By BN's Clients

[FinFangFoom]

Let's start with a disclaimer: I have no beef with young Benjamin Nicholas. For all I know, he's the nicest lad on the face of the earth.

 

However.......

 

His clients creep the shit out of me and this morning's review is no exception.

 

 

We met again in Key West, between a couple of Benjamin’s fabulous overseas trips, or the Caribbean, or Las Vegas, or so many of these other exciting places he goes to.

 

OK, we're not even past the first sentence and already fosterchow has his face in BN's ass.

 

 

For me, his flying visit into Key West reminded me of that line in Scott Fitzgerald about his eyes, bright and glistening, showed me that he had just done exciting things a few minutes ago, and was about to introduce me to new, exciting things very soon.

 

(insert sound of cat hacking up fur ball)

 

 

He was in Key West only for a day or two, and I was able to snag him for an evening, one of those typical Key West evenings in which you quietly put away the day, and enjoy the slow pleasures of a gathering darkness, a long dinner, and a physical reacquaintance with an old friend.

 

Which is code for: "hiring a prostitute who wouldn't give me the time of day if I weren't wagging cash in front of him."

 

 

We dined at Square One, and had fun remembering our last dinner there, and it was also fun that Michael Stewart, the owner, remembered and called Ben by name – very impressive.

 

Breathtaking.

 

 

The dinner was slow, and leisurely, and we chatted about all manner of things, including our last meeting, which had been in northeast Pennsylvania. Mostly, I have met Ben in Key West.

 

Thanks for that riveting insight.

 

 

We walked back to the house, in that wonderful warm Key West darkness, and I even slipped my hand in his for the short space of Virginia Street which has no street lights. Yes, I was feeling a little romantic.

 

WARNING! "Romantic" is the key word in this review.

 

 

Maybe the champagne at dinner had something to do with it, or Key West’s special atmosphere, or Ben’s beautiful looks, or all of the above. But, soon Virginia Street had its street lights, and you don’t walk up it holding hands with a boy, even one as good looking as Ben.

 

A regular profile in courage.

 

 

Still, I was aiming, with Ben’s okay, for a romantic evening, considerably in contrast with our last meeting.

 

There's that word again.

 

 

At the house, the pool is in the back, with a wide deck, all protected from prying eyes by palms and shrubs. While Ben went inside, I set the stage for my romantic evening.

 

In the unlikely event some of you missed this subtlety, this is going to be a ROMANTIC evening.

 

 

It was simple enough – just an armless steel chair and a lot of rope, black rope, which I prefer, for some reason, because, I guess, it looks hotter across tanned skin than white rope.

 

Yep, nothing says romantic quite like an armless steel chair and black rope.

 

 

Ben had slipped something on the stereo, which could be heard easily through the open French doors – I don’t remember what it was, but it was slow and languorous, like the Key West night.

 

Enough with the languorous Key West nights. It's fucking FLORIDA!

 

 

It was close to midnight, and, in the part of town where my house is, everything quiets down, except the famous Key West roosters, around 10:30.

 

Now I'm confused. Is it quiet at midnight or isn't it? The "famous Key West roosters" start or stop at 10:30? But even more than that - who gives a shit?

 

 

We had dined late, and had dawdled, and now it was romance time.

 

The horror. The horror.

 

 

When Benjamin reappeared from the main house, he was silhouetted in the French door as a perfect specimen of manhood: a black figure against the background lights inside, but a figure showing his muscled body, his gracefulness, his v-shaped torso, his legs, and his arms.

 

What happened to his head?

 

 

As he approached, and came into focus, I saw he had granted my request and was wearing low-slung Speedos across his packed crotch.

 

He was wearing more than one Speedo? That's a peculiar request.

 

 

My eyes concentrated on that bulge, showing a lovely curve, but still covered.

He sat in the chair, and I bound him with rope that way a lover binds his lover: kissing his skin as I bound his hands behind his back, running my fingers over his body as I tightened rope after rope, tying him gently, caressingly, but very tightly.

 

The painting Norman Rockwell forgot to paint.

 

 

Ben wasn’t leaving that chair until I untied him, and he knew it, and I knew it.

 

No shit.

 

 

The massive bulge between his legs spoke of his enjoyment of being tied up, nearly naked, in the soft Key West night air.

 

Don't forget about the "famous Key West roosters"!

 

 

His body is magnificent, and, to me, few things show off the male body better than bondage.

 

Whatever.

 

 

And Ben made the scene even hotter, by twisting and writhing in the ropes, showing off his body and his muscles, as he damn well knew it would.

 

Sounds to me like he was trying to escape from this freak.

 

 

By now I was naked and throbbing

 

Let's pause for a moment to conjure that image.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry, I threw up in my mouth and had to go gargle - I'm back now.

 

 

and lusting for the bulge

 

This is the third "bulge" reference. You just know fosterchow is one of those nasty faggots who has sandpapered a spot on the crotch of all of his 501s.

 

 

but we had planned some fun before dessert: a bottle of Dom Perignon. Yes, I know it’s hideously expensive, but for Ben I wanted only the best.

 

What a prince.

 

 

The bottle lasted a long time, because it was used in a variety of ways: some of it was gently rubbed into Ben’s body and licked off by me.

 

Suddenly, the image of a cow licking a salt pole lept into my mind.

 

 

Some of it I took in my mouth, and then shared it with Ben by kissing him, and passing champagne from my mouth to his.

 

Benjamin, you're charging WAAAAAAAY too little for this.

 

 

The last of it was taken into my mouth, and then, I knelt and kissed the huge bulge in Ben’s speedos, taking as much as I could into my mouth, and thus soaking the bulge with champagne.

 

BULGE BULGE BULGE. My hair is starting to hurt.

 

 

Ben was really horny now, and was thrusting forward with his hips, wanting me to free his cock, wanting me to suck his big tool.

 

It was a ruse, dumbass. He wanted OUT!

 

 

The air was full of scented flowers and champagne and the aroma of Ben’s young maleness.

 

That line would have embarrassed even Barabra Cartland.

 

 

I released the packed crotch, and Ben’s rockhard erection sprang proudly into my face. He came in a few minutes, and I remained kneeling, waiting for a sign from him.

 

Like what - a flare?

 

 

He said nothing, and made no move.

 

He was pretending to be dead, hoping you'd let him loose and he could flee in the warm, flower-scented, rooster-filled Key West evening.

 

 

So, slowly, I started sucking again, and it was obvious he wanted to come again. And, after a longer time, he did.

 

An eternity to BN, I'm sure.

 

 

This time, I untied him, and he remained seated.

 

Non-stop revulsion is exhausting.

 

 

He knew I wanted to worship him, and I did, kneeling stark naked on my pool deck, and jerking off to his beauty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

uh oh

 

I did it again.

 

Gotta gargle.

 

Be right back.

 

 

Ben is a very special person, and gives pleasure to so many men through his beauty, excitement, interests, enjoyment of life, and the thrilling flush of youth.

 

And then there's that little matter of the cash payment.

 

 

I know I have no physical attractions which would draw a man like him

 

A refreshing burst of self-awareness.

 

 

except that when I tie him up, I can give him a pleasure that he infrequently enjoys.

 

Because, if he weren't tied up, he'd run away as though his hair were on fire.

 

 

Benjamin Benjamin Benjamin. I don't know how you do it.

 

Respectfully yours,

 

FFF

[alanalt]

I too was also a bit 'creeped out' about this review. But FFF, you only have yourself to blame on this one, I think... After all it was you complaining that Ben's reviews contained very few references to sexual activity here:

http://babydb.male4malescorts.com/m4mdc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=7&topic_id=51621&mesg_id=51621&listing_type=search

 

Then along comes fosterchow with his 3rd and 4th review of Ben (wasn't two reviews per escort from a client the maximum once upon a time?) and things got much more graphic...

 

Sometimes there's just no happy medium...

 

But thanks for the laughs on this one, FFF!

[+ glutes]

3F, now you are doing a heck of a job!

[augustman]

Triple "F" you have one of the most highly developed sacastic wits around. On this one I only go part way. The Dom Perrigon experience was way to Barbara Courtland-like.

 

But to tell the truth the black rope and BN's struggle against the rope was a hot picture. Defintely the most graphic outing ever written about the man. It certainly expands his horizons. Too bad much of the review is over the top, but some of the scenarios bring very hot pictures to the mind.

[KY_TOP]

>

>His clients creep the shit out of me and this morning's review

>is no exception.

 

If you think this one was creepy, read #43 by the same guy back in March.

[KY_TOP]

>

>Then along comes fosterchow with his 3rd and 4th review of Ben

>(wasn't two reviews per escort from a client the maximum once

>upon a time?) and things got much more graphic...

 

The FAQ section plainly says that you can submit another review on the same escort AFTER 6 Months. fostercrow's last review of BN was 3/03/06, a little over 3 months ago. Looks like Daddy let this slip by for some reason.

 

I made an inquiry in Daddy's Place.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I'm touched (in various places) that i've FINALLY gotten a review breakdown from the all-mighty FFF. Well done! Even Ben Brantley at the NYTimes would be jealous of that dissertation

 

I laughed. I cried. I covered myself in Korbel. The Dom's gotta run out sooner or later, right?

 

Keeping everyone happy can be a tough job: I've been told in the past that my reviews weren't 'graphic enough' and now i'm hearing that they're 'too graphic.' I'm just happy (and thankful) that my guys are still enjoying themselves, writing in with something good to say and providing a little chatter for the MC. Was it not just yesterday that someone positively mentioned the 'return of provocative threads' here on the message center?

 

In any event, thanks for the yucks FFF. Keep em' coming.

 

 

 

BN

[Guest DickHo]

I laughed. I cried. It was like seeing Cats.

[Quincy]

>Keeping everyone happy can be a tough job: I've been told in

>the past that my reviews weren't 'graphic enough' and now i'm

>hearing that they're 'too graphic.'

 

Sounds like you have some editorial control over your own reviews, or that you are writing them yourself.

[Quincy]

>But to tell the truth the black rope and BN's struggle against

>the rope was a hot picture. Defintely the most graphic outing

>ever written about the man.

 

You must have missed #43 where he gets dirty used dildos shoved in his mouth!

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Conspiracy theorists of the world unite!

 

Fact: I have NEVER submitted or written any of my own reviews. Period. I have a very strong list of both past & present clientel, of which i'm very proud of, and if they've felt it necessary to submit something complimentary on me, then they have of their own accord.

 

You can choose to believe this or not. The reviewers who have submitted some 45 reviews about me are overall well-trusted and established on this site, as well as some of the more discriminating. Added, I have never had an 'editorial say' in what goes up around here. A nice thought, but unreal.

 

 

BN

[Quincy]

Sorry to have hit a nerve....

[stripfan]

Awesome FFF. My favorite post of the year!

 

Bravo

 

Stripfan

[FinFangFoom]

>You must have missed #43 where he gets dirty used dildos

>shoved in his mouth!

 

 

I don't know if I want to thank or curse you for pointing out #43 to me.

 

If Benjamin is paying attention, I'd like to refer him to a portion of that review and ask him a question:

 

The garage had been fitted out as a dungeon, and on the walls hung lengths of rope, chain, and leather thongs. Hooks held gas masks, leather hoods, spandex hoods. Tool drawers were filled with everything imaginable from tape to padlocks, and on a long trestle table were whips, flogs, dildos, and tit clamps.

 

Benjamin, are you OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND???

 

You may be charming, sweet, fun and kind, however you also obviously have a death wish.

 

You're gonna go flying into some small town in PA, hop in a car and drive deep into the woods, up to some place where the nearest house is a mile away, that's in a "lonely setting" and ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE TIED UP BY STRANGERS in a garage that's something out of "Hostel"?

 

You're playing the odds and eventually you're gonna get the wrong john and you're gonna end up dead - and if you think otherwise, you're in serious denial.

 

But then again, that may be exactly what you're hoping will happen.

 

Review #43 isn't "hot" or "sexy". It's deeply disturbing and deranged.

 

Get professional help.

 

Forcefully yours,

 

FFF

[+ Gar1eth]

FFF--this was laugh out loud funny--I was eating an apple and choked during my perusal.

 

 

By the way I've been meaning to ask for a long time--who exactly is Miss Caswell?

[Funseeker 22]

A brilliant review analysis. I laughed till I cried.

BN has a wicked sense of humour too so I`m sure appreciated this one even though the reviewer might not.

:-) :-)

[Guest manrent1]

What kind of a gay man are you not to know who Miss Casswell is?

 

Miss Casswell is the character in "All About Eve" played by Marilyn Monroe.

[RockHard]

How on earth did I miss this masterpiece? Sure beats edjukatin' lessons on gentlemanly decorum with Rick Munroe.

 

Fin, you are brilliant, and it should come as no surprise that Benjamin Nicholas enjoys a tongue, or two, up his ass. It's just too bad that some of those tongues forgot to wipe Ben's shit from their mouths before they went to their keyboards.

 

I rarely get beyond the second sentence of a sophomoric review like the Key West review before I click-n-scroll as far away as possible. A writing style this overwrought and grandiloquent makes me want to barf, just as you did, but barf sooner. Plus, I really have no fondness for Key West. Folks are just strange down there, like the guy who wrote the review.

 

Thank you, Fin, for taking the time and giving us a good laugh. It sure beats some of the alternatives. :-)

[buckguy]

FFF--what a desconstruction. Also, the image of flying in to PA and visiting a rural dungeon---priceless. Either way, the reviews beg for late era Bette Davis and/or Joan Crawford and an ax, a heavy planting, or at least a rat on a silver serving tray. BN seems to confuse self-confidence with real stupciidty.

[Guest Tristan]

FFF, thanks for the entertainment, though rather unsettling. You certainly have a way with words. I always enjoy your posts.

 

This story is almost as good as "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" or "Nightmare on Elm Street". I don't recall there being a mask like Freddy wore. That would have been a nice touch. This definitely has the makings of a Grade B (or C) porn horror classic.

 

Where does BN find these people? (I guess they find him.) If what the client says is true, it's not worth any amount of money to be subjected to his extremely bizarre and dangerous practices, not to say anything of BN putting his life in immediate jeopardy.

 

What could BN possibly be thinking?

[+ glutes]

And the Pentagon has now determined that homosexuality is a mental disorder. Maybe they were creeped out too. http://www.rawstory.com/showarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fpageoneq.com%2Frssfeedstuff%2Findex.php%3Fid%3D7855

[Houston Bonfires]

I am officially creeped out by anyone sucking Ann Coulter's dick.

 

HB

[RockHard]

Quincy's fantasyland. Shame on him.

 

"You must have missed #43 where he gets dirty used dildos shoved in his mouth!"

 

Maybe a better man (or at least one who can read) can take responsibility for his (misplaced? dangling?) pronouns.

 

Who is "he" and who is "his?"

 

If you are suggesting that Benjamin Nicholas put a dildo in his mouth directly from a client's ass, then I say PROVE IT! If you can't prove it, you better correct your poorly written, slander-induced fantasy statement before we all call you an asshole with an agenda.

[+ Tom Isern]

RE: Quincy's fantasyland. Shame on him.

 

ROCKHEAD: "Personally, my love affair with words and writing precludes me from being hyper-reactionary."

 

HaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaHaHaaaHaHaHaaaHa

 

:9 Can't stop laughing here... Girl: Know Thyself!

[+ Tom Isern]

RE: Quincy's fantasyland. Shame on him.

 

ROCKHEAD: "If you are suggesting that Benjamin Nicholas put a dildo in his mouth directly from a client's ass, then I say PROVE IT! If you can't prove it, you better correct your poorly written, slander-induced fantasy statement before we all call you an asshole with an agenda."

 

ROCKHEAD: "Personally, my love affair with words and writing precludes me from being hyper-reactionary."

 

Bahahahahahahahahahaha!

 

 

:9 }(