Internet Interpersonal Interactions

[marc anthony]

Fascinating topic! And an evolving artform. The whole spin-out-of-control in the Grammar and Spelling thread is a perfect example of a common place occurrence on message boards nowadays. The anonymity of the message board post and the lack of normal social restraint because of missing visual and auditory contact have made message board squabbles the rule rather than the exception! This is a board intended for discussions about cute boys and escorts... something very dear to virtually every poster. But often the bandwidth and people's energy are wasted on petty disagreements about trivial irrelevancies. But this is not unique to this board. It is present on sports boards, news boards, movie boards, etc.

 

I know that most secondary school curriculum now includes some degree of character education about internet manners, as this has been identified as a growing national problem. Hard to expect kids to behave appropriately when the adults can't.

 

That is why, as much as I love posting and participating on this board, it is never as good or can never replace a good old fashioned gathering, or even a phone call. And chatting online with or about a cute escort boy will never replace dining with him, or frolicking with him! hehe. And because we are together in person, with interpersonal cues and physical contact, I will be respectful and have good manners so my boy doesn't become sullen and unhappy, and he will be respectful and have good manners so he doesn't get SPANKED!

[marc anthony]

Fascinating topic! And an evolving artform. The whole spin-out-of-control in the Grammar and Spelling thread is a perfect example of a common place occurrence on message boards nowadays. The anonymity of the message board post and the lack of normal social restraint because of missing visual and auditory contact have made message board squabbles the rule rather than the exception! This is a board intended for discussions about cute boys and escorts... something very dear to virtually every poster. But often the bandwidth and people's energy are wasted on petty disagreements about trivial irrelevancies. But this is not unique to this board. It is present on sports boards, news boards, movie boards, etc.

 

I know that most secondary school curriculum now includes some degree of character education about internet manners, as this has been identified as a growing national problem. Hard to expect kids to behave appropriately when the adults can't.

 

That is why, as much as I love posting and participating on this board, it is never as good or can never replace a good old fashioned gathering, or even a phone call. And chatting online with or about a cute escort boy will never replace dining with him, or frolicking with him! hehe. And because we are together in person, with interpersonal cues and physical contact, I will be respectful and have good manners so my boy doesn't become sullen and unhappy, and he will be respectful and have good manners so he doesn't get SPANKED!

[Guest cp8036]

Yes, It is quite odd how some threads spin out-of-control. But, it does add some variety and spice to this place. How long can we really talk about the manner in which some escort likes to get his ass rimmed, or if we should tip. Oddly enough I have learned a few things along the way, and some of it has nothing to do with sex/escorts/clients.

 

Some posts seem irrelevant, but the heading for this message category is "everything under the sun".

 

While sex or making money from sex are the basis for which we all gather, the variety and depth of the posts show that we are all complex, considerate, and intelligent folks. Some of the longest threads I have read here where about religion/theology, some guy seeking advice on a family financial matter, and lastly grammar and usage.

 

So, I guess just proves we aren't all a bunch of dirty old perverts, or trashy, strung-out hustlers.

 

The escort thing is not that big of a part in my life, just don't the money or time, but there are many interesting things said related or loosely related to the sex business. Too bad many of the comments/ideas/responses were not contained in some other, mainstream, non-sexual website. While most of what is said here is very legitimate, is awkward to refer to this site at the office or amongst friends.

[Guest cp8036]

Yes, It is quite odd how some threads spin out-of-control. But, it does add some variety and spice to this place. How long can we really talk about the manner in which some escort likes to get his ass rimmed, or if we should tip. Oddly enough I have learned a few things along the way, and some of it has nothing to do with sex/escorts/clients.

 

Some posts seem irrelevant, but the heading for this message category is "everything under the sun".

 

While sex or making money from sex are the basis for which we all gather, the variety and depth of the posts show that we are all complex, considerate, and intelligent folks. Some of the longest threads I have read here where about religion/theology, some guy seeking advice on a family financial matter, and lastly grammar and usage.

 

So, I guess just proves we aren't all a bunch of dirty old perverts, or trashy, strung-out hustlers.

 

The escort thing is not that big of a part in my life, just don't the money or time, but there are many interesting things said related or loosely related to the sex business. Too bad many of the comments/ideas/responses were not contained in some other, mainstream, non-sexual website. While most of what is said here is very legitimate, is awkward to refer to this site at the office or amongst friends.

[marc anthony]

All good points, but my point was not so much that threads are off-topic (I agree that anything under the sun can be posted here), but more the confrontational manner in which many issues are discussed. Threads spin out of control because the social restraints that we use in normal interpersonal relationships are often lacking on message boards. So, DAMN IT, why don't you read what I wrote before you respond??? LOLOL

[marc anthony]

All good points, but my point was not so much that threads are off-topic (I agree that anything under the sun can be posted here), but more the confrontational manner in which many issues are discussed. Threads spin out of control because the social restraints that we use in normal interpersonal relationships are often lacking on message boards. So, DAMN IT, why don't you read what I wrote before you respond??? LOLOL

[Guest cp8036]

Ahh, yes, I agree.

[Guest spendlove]

>This is a

>board intended for discussions about

>cute boys and escorts... something

>very dear to virtually every

>poster.

 

Excuse me, but this Lounge section is supposed to be for topics other than escorts. The threads about escorts are supposed to go in the Deli section, no?

 

Personally I find discussing specific escorts, their bodies and the sexual practices of escorts and clients to be pretty boring. For example, in every other post you keep reminding us that you like to spank these young "twink" types. Why keep bringing that up? Is it a form of exhibitionism? Is it meant to be funny? I'm trying to understand this.

 

I can see that discussions about sex practices could be useful to people who don't know anything about gay sex or gay escorts, but that is not my situation. I find the threads about other topics far more interesting.

 

I don't find this message board to be any more argumentative than other message boards I have visited that have nothing to do with issues of particular interest to gay men. Which goes to prove something I've always believed, that gay men really are no different from anyone else except in the matter of their sexual desires. The idea that they are somehow more "bitchy" or something of that sort is just something that has been invented by people who want to define "gay" to include the behavior that they are comfortable with or accustomed to so that anyone who objects to that behavior can be called "homophobic."

 

As for "wasting bandwidth" I don't think it is wasted if people are saying what they want to say. What else is the purpose of a message board?

[Guest cp8036]

Ahh, yes, I agree.

[Guest spendlove]

>This is a

>board intended for discussions about

>cute boys and escorts... something

>very dear to virtually every

>poster.

 

Excuse me, but this Lounge section is supposed to be for topics other than escorts. The threads about escorts are supposed to go in the Deli section, no?

 

Personally I find discussing specific escorts, their bodies and the sexual practices of escorts and clients to be pretty boring. For example, in every other post you keep reminding us that you like to spank these young "twink" types. Why keep bringing that up? Is it a form of exhibitionism? Is it meant to be funny? I'm trying to understand this.

 

I can see that discussions about sex practices could be useful to people who don't know anything about gay sex or gay escorts, but that is not my situation. I find the threads about other topics far more interesting.

 

I don't find this message board to be any more argumentative than other message boards I have visited that have nothing to do with issues of particular interest to gay men. Which goes to prove something I've always believed, that gay men really are no different from anyone else except in the matter of their sexual desires. The idea that they are somehow more "bitchy" or something of that sort is just something that has been invented by people who want to define "gay" to include the behavior that they are comfortable with or accustomed to so that anyone who objects to that behavior can be called "homophobic."

 

As for "wasting bandwidth" I don't think it is wasted if people are saying what they want to say. What else is the purpose of a message board?

[Rick Munroe]

>How long

>can we really talk about

>the manner in which some

>escort likes to get his

>ass rimmed

 

Hey, I much prefer having it done to me than talking about it.

So...kiss my ass :*

[Rick Munroe]

>How long

>can we really talk about

>the manner in which some

>escort likes to get his

>ass rimmed

 

Hey, I much prefer having it done to me than talking about it.

So...kiss my ass :*

[marc anthony]

Spendlove: Thank you so much for proving my point! The sarcastic, condescending way in which you misinterpreted the entire point of my post, and the way you mocked and judged the things that I like to post about, are both things you likely would not have done to a complete stranger person to person in a discussion... unless you are a complete ass (which is possible). Message boards give people license to act with bad manners because there are no physical cues to promote some restraint. You can't tell that I might look like someone whose feelings are easily hurt, or someone whom you might like, or someone who might kick your ass... so you go ahead and disagree with my post in a rude, obnoxious, and provocative manner. And the fact that you say this happens on all message boards is exactly what I was saying in my first post! This is a prevalent problem, and you appear to be part of it.

[marc anthony]

Spendlove: Thank you so much for proving my point! The sarcastic, condescending way in which you misinterpreted the entire point of my post, and the way you mocked and judged the things that I like to post about, are both things you likely would not have done to a complete stranger person to person in a discussion... unless you are a complete ass (which is possible). Message boards give people license to act with bad manners because there are no physical cues to promote some restraint. You can't tell that I might look like someone whose feelings are easily hurt, or someone whom you might like, or someone who might kick your ass... so you go ahead and disagree with my post in a rude, obnoxious, and provocative manner. And the fact that you say this happens on all message boards is exactly what I was saying in my first post! This is a prevalent problem, and you appear to be part of it.

[Guest cp8036]

<Message boards give people license to act with bad manners because there are no physical cues to promote some restraint.>

 

 

Marc,

 

I am relatively new to this site, and the internet in general. Something to further your point about bad manners. I noticed on line that many guys will engage in a bit of small talk via chat, however, rather quickly the talk then moves to things sexual. Seems very blunt questions are the norm: top or bttm?, how hung?, what do you get into?, and so on.

 

I have never been posed these questions in a bar, club, or other gay public place. I'm 39 and have been around enough in the last twenty years, so doubt I lead that sheltered of a life.

 

Such directness may seem crude, but it is time effective. However, still find it odd to discuss such intimate details before the guy even knows your name. Even in the sleaziest of bars names were usually exchanged first.

[Guest Charon]

>The sarcastic, condescending way in

>which you misinterpreted the entire

>point of my post, and

>the way you mocked and

>judged the things that I

>like to post about...

 

Pot, meet kettle.

[Guest cp8036]

<Message boards give people license to act with bad manners because there are no physical cues to promote some restraint.>

 

 

Marc,

 

I am relatively new to this site, and the internet in general. Something to further your point about bad manners. I noticed on line that many guys will engage in a bit of small talk via chat, however, rather quickly the talk then moves to things sexual. Seems very blunt questions are the norm: top or bttm?, how hung?, what do you get into?, and so on.

 

I have never been posed these questions in a bar, club, or other gay public place. I'm 39 and have been around enough in the last twenty years, so doubt I lead that sheltered of a life.

 

Such directness may seem crude, but it is time effective. However, still find it odd to discuss such intimate details before the guy even knows your name. Even in the sleaziest of bars names were usually exchanged first.

[Guest Charon]

>The sarcastic, condescending way in

>which you misinterpreted the entire

>point of my post, and

>the way you mocked and

>judged the things that I

>like to post about...

 

Pot, meet kettle.

[Guest cp8036]

heheeh... I am sure you do, as would I. Better yet if I could get money for it. So, go get your butt eaten !!!

[Guest cp8036]

heheeh... I am sure you do, as would I. Better yet if I could get money for it. So, go get your butt eaten !!!

[Will]

A few random thoughts bubbled up as part of my gratitude to CP and Marc-Anthony for their cogent remarks here.

 

1. In my workplace, the language of e-mail communication (NOTE: among people who see each other all day long every day!) got so crazy that the supervisor forbade all communication having to do with the expression of opinions. We finally got accustomed to its best purpose, which is the efficient exchange of information. Now, even our more interpretive e-mails are civil in tone.

 

2. It's not for nothing that high schools give instruction in cyber-civility. Of course, if they would teach writing and the importance of learning how to use words, that would be a good thing as well. Much of the vitriol on message boards is a response to miscommunication, to sloppy usage and inattention to the way a phrase or sentence is likely to be read.

 

3. If an importunate child, or even adult, bores everybody else to death by constantly interrupting or changing the subject, three things are possible: (a) a person in authority can reprimand; (b) failing the reprimand, the authority can punish or banish; © failing (a) and (b), which is the case here, everyone else can simply ignore the intruder. That's the tactic I'd suggest we follow.

 

4. Part of the beauty of virtual communication is that it's almost as swift as the spoken word, without the dangers. Maybe it would be a good idea for me to adopt this practice: I WILL NOT SAY ONLINE WHAT I WOULD NOT SAY FACE-TO-FACE.

 

5. Finally, I want to associate myself with the views of those who maintain that anybody can post anything they like here. Yes, we all gather around the maypoles of escorts, but there are many steps to our dance. (Block that metaphor!!!) I love it here and not solely for the sex-talk, much of which does not "speak to my condition," as the Quakers say.

 

Thanks again for a great thread.

[Will]

A few random thoughts bubbled up as part of my gratitude to CP and Marc-Anthony for their cogent remarks here.

 

1. In my workplace, the language of e-mail communication (NOTE: among people who see each other all day long every day!) got so crazy that the supervisor forbade all communication having to do with the expression of opinions. We finally got accustomed to its best purpose, which is the efficient exchange of information. Now, even our more interpretive e-mails are civil in tone.

 

2. It's not for nothing that high schools give instruction in cyber-civility. Of course, if they would teach writing and the importance of learning how to use words, that would be a good thing as well. Much of the vitriol on message boards is a response to miscommunication, to sloppy usage and inattention to the way a phrase or sentence is likely to be read.

 

3. If an importunate child, or even adult, bores everybody else to death by constantly interrupting or changing the subject, three things are possible: (a) a person in authority can reprimand; (b) failing the reprimand, the authority can punish or banish; © failing (a) and (b), which is the case here, everyone else can simply ignore the intruder. That's the tactic I'd suggest we follow.

 

4. Part of the beauty of virtual communication is that it's almost as swift as the spoken word, without the dangers. Maybe it would be a good idea for me to adopt this practice: I WILL NOT SAY ONLINE WHAT I WOULD NOT SAY FACE-TO-FACE.

 

5. Finally, I want to associate myself with the views of those who maintain that anybody can post anything they like here. Yes, we all gather around the maypoles of escorts, but there are many steps to our dance. (Block that metaphor!!!) I love it here and not solely for the sex-talk, much of which does not "speak to my condition," as the Quakers say.

 

Thanks again for a great thread.

[+ Charlie]

This is an odd thread in which people seem to be talking past one another, but I suppose it supports marc anthony's basic point(?) that it is harder to have effective interpersonal communication when the only medium is typed words on a screen.

[+ Charlie]

This is an odd thread in which people seem to be talking past one another, but I suppose it supports marc anthony's basic point(?) that it is harder to have effective interpersonal communication when the only medium is typed words on a screen.

[Guest spendlove]

>Spendlove: Thank you so much

>for proving my point!

>The sarcastic, condescending way in

>which you misinterpreted the entire

>point of my post,

 

The responsibility for communicating your ideas is yours, not mine, and if I or others do not grasp whatever it is you are trying to communicate you should re-think your methods. If I did indeed misinterpret what you said then it should be clear to you that the ones you are now using aren't working.

 

 

>and

>the way you mocked and

>judged the things that I

>like to post about,

 

 

I mocked nothing. I honestly do not understand why you and a few others here constantly describe, unasked by anyone, your own sexual habits. Why do you do it? Is it some sort of fetish? I am looking for information here. I thought that was the purpose of this board. Obviously you don't agree.

 

 

>are

>both things you likely would

>not have done to a

>complete stranger person to person

>in a discussion... unless you

>are a complete ass (which

>is possible). Message boards give

>people license to act with

>bad manners because there are

>no physical cues to promote

>some restraint. You can't

>tell that I might look

>like someone whose feelings are

>easily hurt, or someone whom

>you might like, or someone

>who might kick your ass...

>so you go ahead and

>disagree with my post in

>a rude, obnoxious, and provocative

>manner.

 

You are not my mentor in manners or in any other area of behavior. I need not and do not abide by your definition of what constitutes proper conduct. If you can't stand to hear people's opinions of what you post then stop posting. You can simply talk to yourself. That way no one will ever disagree with you.

 

And the fact

>that you say this happens

>on all message boards is

>exactly what I was saying

>in my first post!

>This is a prevalent problem,

>and you appear to be

>part of it.

 

If there is a problem here I think it consists of the desire of a few people to control what others say. This is another kind of behavior that I have never been able to understand. Why do you do it?