Fin Fang Foom's NYC Rentboy Hall of Shame

[Fin Fang Foom]

I went through every single one of the pictures NYC guys have in their profiles for Rentboy and picked out the ones most ripe for ridicule. So, without further ado, and in no particular order, I present to you Fin Fang Foom's NYC Rentboy Hall of Shame........

 

 

 

"Let me see, I can pose in the shower or on the bed or by the window. Hmmmm, no, I think I'll go stand buck naked in the middle of my 80's kitchen."

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/19990/pictures/19990_3.jpg

 

 

"So, I'll use the name Ryan for my Rentboy ad but I don't want people to know who I really am so I'll put a box over my face."

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/958/pictures/958_2.jpg

 

 

First off, no one looks good with lighting coming from underneath them. Secondly, what the fuck is he standing between?

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/1032/pictures/1032_14.jpg

 

 

His ad says he's 5"10". At that height, your bed shouldn't be hitting you at your hip. But what really disturbs me is the size of the black oval - that guy has the smallest head of anyone on the planet.

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/17557/pictures/17557_15.jpg

 

 

It's just wrong.

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/1765/pictures/1765_43.jpg

 

 

"OK, I'll bed over on this while you shoot me from the La-Z-Boy recliner."

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/2105/pictures/2105_8.jpg

 

 

Forget the outfit, what the fuck is hanging behind him?

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/20218/pictures/20218_11.jpg

 

 

Dog collar and peacock feathers. HOT!

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/18543/pictures/18543_7.jpg

 

 

Maybe I'm the only one who does this, but isn't this the position you strike in bed when you have gas and you really want to let one rip?

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/20255/pictures/20255_5.jpg

 

 

It would be like shootin' fish in a barrel.....

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/2041/pictures/2041_1.jpg

 

 

A little knowledge of Photoshop is a dangerous thing.

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/3122/pictures/3122_1.jpg

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/18875/pictures/18875_20.jpg

 

 

Why not just wear a burka and be done with it?

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/3363/pictures/3363_17.jpg

 

 

I know you twink lovers find this sort of thing hot, but personally, I think it's creepy.

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/7309/pictures/7309_4.jpg

 

 

Please stop all further submissions, we have a winner for The Worst Couch Contest.

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/7727/pictures/7727_5.jpg

 

 

Ya know, I'm not into being put in a sling or dominated, however, something tells me that those who do don't like walking into the "dungeon" and seeing a fuscia plaid quilty bedspread.

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/18075/pictures/18075_13.jpg

 

 

Why didn't his photographer tell him that two large killer caterpillars had crawled onto the his face BEFORE he took the shot?

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/17940/pictures/17940_12.jpg

 

 

Is it just me, or does he look like he has a thyroid condition?

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/7930/pictures/7930_1.jpg

 

 

Is this meant to be an ass shot or a dirty clothes hamper shot?

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/8419/pictures/8419_5.jpg

 

 

Where to begin, where to begin.........

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/9612/pictures/9612_19.jpg

 

 

I think it's time to have a doctor look at that.

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/10615/pictures/10615_8.jpg

 

 

The decor is hideous, I think we can all agree on that, however, why am I especially appalled by the crocheted blanket?

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/17563/pictures/17563_9.jpg

 

 

We're sorry, but the role of the Phantom at the Hohokus Dinner Theatre's production of "The Phantom of the Opera" has been cast, but we would like to have you read for the character of Christine.

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/17650/pictures/17650_25.jpg

 

 

Picturesquely yours,

 

FFF

[scudman]

RE: Fin Fang Foom NYC Rentboy Hall of Shame

 

Brilliant, FFF!

 

I'm laughing so hard tears are rolling down my face (which is a little hard to explain here at the office).

 

I love it!

[Lankypeters]

Maybe we need a show called "Queer Eye on the Rent Guy" to coach guys like these in how to present themselves.

 

Lankypeters

[Funseeker 22]

Fricken Hilarious !

Someone maybe has too much time on their hands ? :-) :-)

[TotallyOz]

This is without a doubt, the funniest thing I have seen in a while. Thanks FFF.

[skins1]

fantastic comments. oh that was funny!! and that guy DOES have the smallest head of anyone on the planet. He's like beetlejuice.

[Guest RandyRon]

All were hilarious but the guy spreading his cheeks (ready to cut one?) was my favorite. It's also the pose I use when I'm ready to insert the enema tube. Thanks FFF.

[jackhammer91406]

I'll have a triple F with a dash of mint

 

Fab Funny Flesh with humor. Doesn't get better than this. Welcome home triple F.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Very shagadelic FFF. Nice to have you around again~

 

It's about time someone made some humorous remarks about the 'state of images' in escortville. I still wonder how some of these guys get any email with the strange pics they post up on ad sites.

 

I'm envisioning a whole seperate site for strange & off-kilter escort advertising pics. Of course FFF would lovingly dissect the images (very Joan Rivers-esque without so much Scotch Tape).

 

In any case, thanks for the chuckle triple F

 

 

Warmest Always,

 

 

 

Benjamin Nicholas

[buttnovice]

wow FFF, you really had me rollin on the floor. You out did youself and we thank you, again

 

My favorite - hard to pick one, but would have to be "let a big one rip"

[+ deej]

>I'm envisioning a whole seperate site for strange & off-kilter

>escort advertising pics.

 

There's already a site out there that comes close. (Can't remember the URL, sorry.) They take "candid" pics that people have posted on websites, remove the people, and critique the decor.

 

It's a *hoot*!

[Fin Fang Foom]

>wow FFF, you really had me rollin on the floor. You out did

>youself and we thank you, again

>

>My favorite - hard to pick one, but would have to be "let a

>big one rip"

 

 

To be honest, I rarely laugh at my own "material", but for some reason, that one made me laugh - hard.

 

I'm glad you like them - it was fun to do.

 

At some point, I may tackle the BigMuscle.com profile pics. There are some tragedies there.

 

Appreciatively yours,

 

FFF

[Fin Fang Foom]

>There's already a site out there that comes close. (Can't

>remember the URL, sorry.) They take "candid" pics that people

>have posted on websites, remove the people, and critique the

>decor.

 

 

http://www.justinspace.com/obscene/oipage1.html

 

Don't say I never did anything for ya.

 

Graciously yours,

 

FFF

[Guest ncm2169]

< At some point, I may tackle the BigMuscle.com profile pics.

 

Awesome, FFF!! Go 'fer it! }(

[Guest Gringo]

You are an absolute HOOT!!! Thanks for the grins.:+

[VaHawk]

>To be honest, I rarely laugh at my own "material", but for

>some reason, that one made me laugh - hard.

>

>I'm glad you like them - it was fun to do.

>

I personally thought this was one of your weaker efforts. Amusing yes, but hardly up to par with your best material.

 

But then, why should you bother to strive for higher heights, when all the crowd is ROTFLMAO??? Says a hell of a lot more about the crowd, than it does the artist, doesn't it??

[basket]

Personally, I have not seen all of Rentboy, but I have never seen a collection of photos such as these on the Rentboy site.

[bostonman]

Why is it that seemingly every topic out here has to be torn apart by cynics? Does this funny collection of pictures (and commentary) really need to be dissected/scrutinized/dismissed, or can't it just be here to be enjoyed?

 

Great work, FFF!

[VaHawk]

>Why is it that seemingly every topic out here has to be torn

>apart by cynics? Does this funny collection of pictures (and

>commentary) really need to be dissected/scrutinized/dismissed,

>or can't it just be here to be enjoyed?

 

And why is it, in return, not okay for people to dissect/scrutinize/dismiss such ostentatious displays, without being accused of being cynical? Or does everyone have to agree with your assessment? And do you have a holier right to dismiss as cynical everyone who disagrees with your assessment?

[Guest Mikel]

The greatest post in ages! Award winning!! This should become your full time job!!! How will you ever out-do yourself now? That's become your biggest challenge!

[Candyman]

You made my day-just widh I could share it with the office,

 

Minor correction-that's not a Lazy Boy recliner. It's a Queen Ann chair-enough said

[ServeUncutUncle]

Re the Crochered Blanket Guy

 

" Somebody has to take care of Martha's Place whilst she is away"

[Fin Fang Foom]

>Minor correction-that's not a Lazy Boy recliner. It's a Queen

>Ann chair-enough said

 

tsk tsk, you're not reading it correctly. The guy on the Queen Ann(e?) chair is the one speaking and the photographer is on the Lay-Z-Boy.

 

Observantly yours,

 

FFF

[sdgaypornfan]

Th pics were great fun, thanks for taking time to post

[adriano46]

FFF,

 

I went through this twice and the second time had me choking with laughter. Your wit and incisive humor have been missed. Glad you are back to posting.