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Fin Fang Foom

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  1. Hello little ones! There has been a dearth of material for me to comment on but this morning's reviews contain, although not a gem, at least a cubic zirconium. Sadly, this will not be a deconstruction of the review but instead a few trenchant observations. For the lazy among us (and they are legion) I will copy the review from our own SilverDollar. "Experience: Based on the reviews here I took a chance and invited Zack to meet me in New York for an overnight. He is obviously very young and new to this, so I was not sure how it would work out. He is difficult to communicate with and only seems to check his email infrequently, preferring the telephone. That, however, is difficult for me because I can't leave my cell phone on much of the time. In any event, we managed to agree a date and I forwarded to him the cash cost of his tickets. Through out several more belabored exchanges we also agreed on what we might get into. I was in communication with him right up until the day before he was to meet me in New York. The plan was for him to call me when he arrived at the airport and then take a taxi to the hotel. I was checked in waiting for his call at the appointed hour. I also checked and found that his plane had indeed landed on time. He finally did call, but not from the airport but from Houston. He never left. He said he was “sick” all day and could not make it. He had not bothered to call or even email me when he decided not to show much earlier in the day. In a further email exchange and a call, I gave him the benefit of the doubt (even though I was now out one round trip airfare) when he offered to meet me in New York the following week for a reduced fee. I did tell him that I had already booked someone else for that night, so it would be a three way. Once again, he no showed with no advance warning. Only a fairly impolite email after the fact. This boy is obviously very cute and I am sure the guys writing his other reviews had a great time, as indicated. The lesson in the above tale is for those considering arranging a meeting with him in another city. Caveat emptor. I travel and use escorts all the time, often arranging for guys to travel to meet with me on the road. I always pay in advance for the ticket and in that sense am always at risk. In many years of experience, this is only the second time someone has stood me up and it is disappointing. It is the policy of this board to give the escort the right to respond with the last word, so you may see a reply from Zack below. All I can say is what is written above is what happened and I will stand on the integrity of my many prior reviews." My first thought is: SilverDollar, you're an idiot. You chose a guy who is "difficult to communicate with and only seems to check his email infrequently, preferring the telephone" yet it's "difficult for (you) because (you) can’t leave (your) cell phone on much of the time." Yep, sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. Oh yeah, and let's FLY that guy in from out of town. <eye roll> So, he didn't show because he's "sick" it turns out (more on that shortly) and instead of cutting your loses you decide, genius that you are, that you should give the lad "the benefit of the doubt". <second eye roll> I have a feeling that you think there should have been a NINETEENTH UN Resolution for Saddam to comply to the previous 18 resolutions, but I digress...... So, back in la la land (and I don't mean LA) you agree to meet him a second time in that lovely little hamlet named Manhattan - at a reduced fee. (Zack's largess is enough to make a dockworker weep) oops, young Zack doesn't show again. Shocking. Simply shocking. WHAT is this generation coming to??? SilverDollar, you've hired enough hookers to know better. When you see red flags in the beginning, PAY ATTENTION. What else did do need to have happen to convince you he was going to be trouble? Did you need Robot to come crashing through your door, his metal arms waving up and down, intoning "Danger SilverDollar! Danger SIlverDollar!!!"? Gimme a fucking break. <third eye roll> Now for young Zack.......... Zack, Zack, Zack. What are we going to do with you, huh? You admit that you didn't call because you were sick and "in bed all day and most of the next". Hmmm, how do I put this in a way you can understand? (thinking while tapping my index finger lighting against my lower lip) Oh, I know: BULLSHIT. Zack, once upon a time we were all young fags who used the excuse: "I'm sorry I didn't call about not showing up for the party/date/get-together/exam/lecture/funeral/etc.". It was bullshit then, it's still bullshit now. We weren't sick. We just didn't want to do it so we used a bullshit excuse that would illicit the "OH MY! I'm soooooo sorry!" response and get us off the hook for our irresponsible behavior. That excuse ranks #2 only to the All-Time Champion: "Did you leave me a voicemail?? OMG! I never got it!!" And #3 is: "I'm sorry I haven't called, I've been sooooo busy with work!" For a full list of all the bullshit excuses, please visit our website at http://www.bullshitexcuses.com Zack, you would have us believe that you were soooooooooooooooo sick that it rendered you incapable of getting your boney little ass out of the bed so as to drag the phone to your bed so you can make a call to a person who has SENT YOU MONEY and EXPECTS YOUR BONEY ASS TO BE THERE WHEN YOU SAID YOU'D BE THERE. Zack, were you soooooooo sick that you couldn't even pull your boney ass off the bed to crawl to the bathroom? Did you take a shit in your death bed? If not, chances are you passed THE PHONE on your way to the bathroom and you could have taken THE PHONE with you (assuming you had the strength to do this) and CALLED SilverDollar while your boney ass was sitting on the throne. I think it's safe to say that even if your little "I was sick" story is true that your illness WASN'T so debilitating that you couldn't pick up a phone (from a sickness that lasted only 36 hours) and call a person who: a) sent you money and b) expects you to be where you said you'd be at the time you said you'd be there. So, although SilverDollar is an idiot for hiring you. You're a lying, irresponsible fag. In my book (which is currently #785 on Amazon.com), yours is the bigger offenses. As for the second part of the review: who cares? You lost all your credibility in the first half and the first half isn't in dispute regarding the facts. Zack, the guys who hire you are adults, They can handle the truth. If you've suddenly gotten cold feet or have an honest conflict, or, mercy me, your're high as a kite on crystal meth and don't want to leave your home because you've been awake for four days straight, haven't eaten and are getting fucked by one stranger after the other, just tell them. They can handle it. Don't try to hide behind Bullshit Excuse #1. Because when you do, I'll gladly make your life a living hell here in our little cyber-sandbox. Sternly yours, FFF
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