Fin Fang Foom On This Morning's Jon Ramsey Review

[Guest Fin Fang Foom]

Ok fellas, which one of you is the joker who wrote the review that was posted this morning? Obviously someone out there wants me to tear it apart like a hyena with a newborn kitten. Frankly, it's already a parody, and as I begin, I'm not confident I can really add anything to it.

 

Experience:

 

Somewhere in the sweaty tangle of arms and legs

 

Is he doing the nasty with Jon or Shiva?

 

 

I found my mind wandering. Jon was in my arms, in my bed, in my thoughts – and my heart pounded in a new and different way.

 

I would strongly suggest you call 911 then.

 

 

I did not wrestle with the reasons that brought this man to my home – I had no doubt whatsoever about my motives.

But after long, pensive stares at his images on his website, I found myself feeling apprehensive, timid even, about reaching out to him. I somehow felt that any pairing between the two of us would be a mismatch.

 

A rare moment of lucidity.

 

 

In a studious manner, I read, and re read his words, and his reviews.

 

More like an "obsessive" manner.

 

 

I summoned whatever courage – or audacity – necessary to contact Jon. I overcame my own sense of silly inadequacy and took the step.

 

Is this guy preparing himself for a moon walk or is he hiring a whore?

 

 

From the anonymous shell of the internet, he reached back and plucked at my heartstrings, reassuring me – telling me it was okay.

 

Great, now he's hearing voices.

 

 

And the next thing I knew - there we were – wrapped momentarily in each other’s momentary lust.

 

Did he black out?

 

 

In the mind-body compendium,

 

You mean like when Capt. Kirk was floating in space, fading in and out and they had to figure a way to get him back before that weird little ship finished making that spider web around The Enterprise?

 

 

our respective roles became clear and muddy all at the same time.

 

I think someone dropped some acid.

 

 

From the first utterance of obligatory small talk – to the inevitable mouthful of sweet/salty sperm,

 

A new Maxwell House campaign in the making.

 

 

our lives intersected without a road map.

 

Unfortunately for Jon, he left his in the glove compartment, otherwise, he would have gotten the hell out of there.

 

 

To my amazement, the moments with him felt much like a warm bath – enveloping and invigorating.

 

I'm sure the only thing Jon could think about was taking a bath as soon as possible.

 

 

There were no awkward pauses. No overused, trite porn-variety utterances.

 

How could there be? He had a mouthful of sweet/salty sperm.

 

 

The time passed in a slow-motion lilting way.

 

More support for my LSD theory.

 

 

He could have been an ex lover, or a close friend. In the short time frame that we shared, he planted a seed of trust, of history and unity.

 

Or they could have been two of the extras in the "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing" Coke commercial.

 

 

As I laid there in his arms, that’s when my mind wandered and I wondered how he had accomplished such a remarkable feat.

 

Drugs. LOTS of them.

 

 

It was, when it was all stripped down, just one very talented man, fulfilling the primal needs of another.

 

Your need being: sex (or your concept of what sex is). Jon's need being: $$$$$$$$$$$$$

 

 

But Jon is the consummate professional.

 

A euphemism for "whore".

 

 

There was not a single moment that passed that I did not feel 100% confident and at ease with his movements, his gestures,

 

Sounds more like they were a pairs couple in an ice dancing competition.

 

 

his expertise in the ways of passion. Like a highly skilled surgeon, Jon proved himself to be a master at his art. He made me smile. He made me whimper. He made me want him in ways that I cannot really explain.

 

Thank God.

 

 

He made me break open the fancy soap.

 

http://drudgereport.com/siren.gif

 

No no no, this MUST be a joke. No one in their right mind (and this a crucial distinction) would ever say something like that seriously. My money is on this being a joke review, but I will soldier on........

 

 

When he left, the linger of his sexy smile stayed with me.

 

Hopefully Jon made it home in one piece and the guy didn't rip his face off.

 

 

As the time passes, I find myself grinning like schoolboy. I have never experienced anything quite like the moments that Jon gave me. In his sweet, sensual, intelligent way, he wrapped me into his calm wave and allowed me to surf,

 

SOMEONE HELP ME!!!! I'M DROWNING IN WATER METAPHORS!!!!!

 

 

if only for a few fleeting minutes, into his heart. The day will come when I reach out to him once again. And I look forward to it.

 

Unfortunately for you, it's not mutual.

 

 

Exhaustively yours,

 

FFF

[LovesYng]

Thanks FFF, you made my day:P The best laugh I had in days:+ You made me go back four times to read it. It's got to be a joke }(

[+ Cock Eyed Optimist]

FFF: Here I sit, laughing out loud at my computer screen! :7

 

I thought for sure you would have said something about the "plant a seed" phrase.

[Guest ortrud45]

Triple F:

 

Your vivisection of this "review" is absolutely hilarious!!!:+

Congratulations, I rarely had such a good laugh.:9

[Guest Bitchboy]

When you're good, you're good! It's difficult to believe all this wit comes from a Republican.:o

[Guest Dan]

>When you're good, you're good! It's difficult to believe all

>this wit comes from a Republican.:o

 

OH, that explains why I enjoy FFF's posts so much!

 

Dan Dare

http://meetlocalmen.com/mlm/dandarela.html ;-)

[Donnie]

>OH, that explains why I enjoy FFF's posts so much!

 

Explains a lot about you too, Danny.

[Flower]

yeah yeah, FFF -- it wasn't bad--pretty good actually--there I said it !!!!!!!

-- never thought I would compliment FFF :+

[Guest Pulsator]

When I read the Ramsey review, I immediately questioned its authenticity because I was with Jon once, years ago. Hot body, nice personality, but he was extremely limited about what he would do. Recent reviews of him have failed to communicate this. I wish we had a genuine review that indicated -- if it's true -- that he's transcended those limits.

[Candyman]

Is it just me or has Jon been using the same pictures since this site started. Is that really Jon Ramsey or Dorian Grey?

[Guest msagget]

>Is it just me or has Jon been using the same pictures since

>this site started. Is that really Jon Ramsey or Dorian Grey?

 

Same pic has been used for YEARS...although he does have fairly new pics on his website.

Previous post which stated that Jon was VERY LIMITED in his activities is correct.

[Spida]

Jon was my first escort ever! He has an awesome bod, and a great personality. It was about 2 years ago and at that time the pic did him justice! He is great looking made me feel at home. HOWEVER! He left me wanting something more for my 250 bucks! I will say he is responsive when you are sucking him or rimming him. If you want a great looking bod and don't care much about reciprocation then he is the man for you. Again I must say he is an awesome person and was a pretty good experience.. Have had much hotter sessions with others since!! Yes very limited in what he will do..

[Muscle Lover]

the FFF review has me sitting here laughing ( an you know we Republicans don't laugh much.. to busy thinking about money)>

[woodlawn]

>Have had much hotter sessions with others since!!

> Yes very limited in what he will do..

 

I guess you didn't get a chance to read the thread on Sebastian, where several posters explained to us how unreasonable it is for a client to insist on having actual intercourse with an escort. According to them it's only those of us who lack imagination who want more than foreplay for the $200 we're expected to pay. You really should be content with a little body contact and the opportunity to 'imagine' having sex with him. Let that be a lesson to you!

[phage]

Now you’re just being ornery because several people disagreed with you. I am not about to re-read the thread, but I don’t think anyone said it was unreasonable for you to expect someone to get plowed. Hire who you want for what you want. We were just trying to point out that not everyone gets into anal intercourse. A tall, built, beautiful man is very desirable for those of us so inclined.

 

I can’t figure out why it annoys you so much that there are people out there who don’t like sticking things up their ass or doing it to others. The only thing unreasonable here is your assistance that there is only one way to have sex that is worthy of payment.

[phage]

Before someone else says it…of course that is supposed to be “insistence” and not “assistance”.

[woodlawn]

>I can’t figure out why it annoys you so much that there are

>people out there who don’t like sticking things up their ass

>or doing it to others. The only thing unreasonable here is

>your assistance that there is only one way to have sex that is

>worthy of payment.

 

You are not usually so obtuse. I couldn't care less what you do with the people you hire. I just don't like being told there is something wrong with those of us who want more than foreplay in return for our money. If you are not too lazy to go back and re-read the thread you will find several people who said just that, or words to that effect.

 

I have to admit I found it hilarious that one poster suggested a client should be satisfied to 'imagine' having sex with an escort he hires. I should think we can all imagine having sex with anyone we damn well please without paying that person a penny, much less $200. I know there are some mercenary people in this world, but asking someone to pay you for the privilege of 'imagining' sex with you beats anything I ever heard. LOL!

[Guest DevonSFescort]

>You are not usually so obtuse. I couldn't care less what you

>do with the people you hire. I just don't like being told

>there is something wrong with those of us who want more than

>foreplay in return for our money. If you are not too lazy to

>go back and re-read the thread you will find several people

>who said just that, or words to that effect.

 

Actually, you and ad rian were the ones claiming that there was something wrong with people who fail to insist on anal sex or receiving a blow job when they hire escorts. You implied that they were still in a "high school" level stage of development, and in a later post accused them of "throwing money away." No poster on that thread so much as hinted that there was anything wrong with you or anyone else for hiring escorts who provide the services you're looking for. Only you and ad rian felt the need to disparage other people's hiring decisions.

[Guest Pulsator]

The difference between a session with Jon and a session with Sebastian. . . As indicated in my prior post on this thread, my experience with Jon was several years ago (and yes, he was using the same pics then as now), and things might have changed since then. As with everything in life, escorts undoubtedly change over time in terms of what they will do with a client, and it strikes me as likely that an escort who develops a relationship with a client over time may do things he would not do with a first-timer. But, taking all that as a given, I found the experience with Sebastian to be qualitatively different from the experience with Jon, even though many of the limitations they impose are the same. The main difference was that with Jon I had a feeling of professional distance, and the limitations permeated the session. With Sebastian, I had a feeling of connection -- indeed, an eagerness to connect -- and much more intimate physical contact.

Again, one should keep in mind that reactions to escorts are a very individual thing, personal chemistry enters into it, as does the mood of a particular occasion.

Another complicating factor of my session with Jon was that it was when he was dancing at Gaiety and we had to fit it in between shows, so there was undoubtedly a "rush" factor and he had to be very conscious about the clock.

Although Sebastian is a former Gaiety dancer, on my recent contact he was up to NYC solely to do escorting, and he is definitely not a clock-watching type of guy, so the atmosphere was very different.

I'd be interested to know from folks who have been with Jon recently whether they found him to be physically interactive and not so reserved? Also, how much does he look like those pics these days?

[+ bigjoey]

i hire jon for about 6 to 8 weekends a year and have for 9 or 10 years and have developed a good relationship with him. he actually looks much better than the old pictures. frankly, i never liked the one used with his reviews here. on MEETLOCALMEN he has some more recent pictures. if you email him, he might send you some of the recent pictures. he is more muscular now. i have asked him to change to some of the new pictures which are fabulous; however, the choice is his so go figure.

 

when we go out, he is a gay magnet (attracts women as well); at my gym, guys (including married men) have come out to him and try to pick him up; i love watching the reaction to him in the gym, resturants, concerts, etc. he is intelligent and it is fun to share time with him. i was totally in the closet when i met him at the gaiety and he has helped me to come partly out of the closet.

 

anyone who wants to hire him can ask him directly about his limits; i do not feel i can comment on them. his personally has changed over the years for the better and he is more relaxed and at ease with what he does due to changes in his personal life. i can not compare him with any other escorts but do feel that jon does his best to satisfy his clients and leave them happy.

 

my relationship has gone beyond the escort/client one so it is difficult to compare my relationship with him to other escorts as well as to how another client will feel.

[woodlawn]

>Actually, you and ad rian were the ones claiming that there

>was something wrong with people who fail to insist on anal sex

>or receiving a blow job when they hire escorts. You implied

>that they were still in a "high school" level stage of

>development, and in a later post accused them of "throwing

>money away." No poster on that thread so much as hinted that

>there was anything wrong with you or anyone else for hiring

>escorts who provide the services you're looking for. Only you

>and ad rian felt the need to disparage other people's hiring

>decisions.

 

That is a complete fabrication on your part. I suppose if I provide some quotes from that thread to back up my characterization of it you simply won't reply, which is your normal modus operandi when you are losing an argument. As you know, escorts don't have much of a reputation for honesty as it is, and posts like the above certainly are not going to improve that situation.

[Guest DevonSFescort]

>That is a complete fabrication on your part. I suppose if I

>provide some quotes from that thread to back up my

>characterization of it you simply won't reply, which is your

>normal modus operandi when you are losing an argument. As you

>know, escorts don't have much of a reputation for honesty as

>it is, and posts like the above certainly are not going to

>improve that situation.

 

My reputation is fine, thanks. It's better than plenty of people's opinion of the legal profession.

 

While you threaten to produce quotes backing up your belated attempt to rewrite the thread, here are a couple which you'll no doubt claim are fabrications:

 

"I can't imagine why anyone would pay $200 for a hooker who refuses to have sex. 'Making out' may have been a thrill in high school but most of us want rather more than that at this stage of our lives."

 

and:

 

"What I really find it hard to imagine is why someone would pay more for less. Throwing money away has never made sense to me."

 

Neither you nor anyone will be able to find any quotes from that thread similarly critical of other clients' hiring tastes, except, of course, for ad rian's:

 

"Out of curiosity, what's the average age of clients whose apetites are satisfied in that fashion? They sound very pathetic to me!"

 

Glad you've found yourself a kindred spirit.

[woodlawn]

I don't claim the quotes you produced are fabrications, merely that the meaning you assigned to them is. Your inferences are yours, not mine, and to pretend they come from me is far from honest.

 

>Neither you nor anyone will be able to find any quotes from

>that thread similarly critical of other clients' hiring

>tastes,

 

Oh, is that right? I guess you "forgot" these:

 

<<<<< no one has ever asked me to pay less for my time because they felt we were only doing "foreplay" (which is never disparaged by people who are good at it). >>>>>

 

<<<<< Especially if they have enough imagination to conceive of a good time without fucking. >>>>>

 

Now, I wonder who could have made those remarks? I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count.

 

>Glad you've found yourself a kindred spirit.

 

Ad rian and I disagree about plenty, as several threads in the Lounge section will attest. But one fault he's never shown here is to assert he "knows" something for which he in fact has little or no real evidence.

[Guest DevonSFescort]

>I don't claim the quotes you produced are fabrications,

>merely that the meaning you assigned to them is. Your

>inferences are yours, not mine, and to pretend they come from

>me is far from honest.

 

Okay, once again, here's what you said:

 

'I can't imagine why anyone would pay $200 for a hooker who refuses to have sex. "Making out" may have been a thrill in high school but most of us want rather more than that at this stage of our lives.'

 

(As if all men who hire escorts are at the same "stage" in their lives. Please.)

 

...and:

 

'What I really find it hard to imagine is why someone would pay more for less. Throwing money away has never made sense to me.'

 

...and here's how I summed up what you said:

 

'Actually, you and ad rian were the ones claiming that there was something wrong with people who fail to insist on anal sex or receiving a blow job when they hire escorts. You implied that they were still in a "high school" level stage of development, and in a later post accused them of "throwing money away."'

 

Where, specifically, is the fabrication in that?

 

>>Neither you nor anyone will be able to find any quotes from

>>that thread similarly critical of other clients' hiring

>>tastes,

>

>Oh, is that right? I guess you "forgot" these:

>

><<<<< no one has ever asked me to pay less for my time because

>they felt we were only doing "foreplay" (which is never

>disparaged by people who are good at it). >>>>>

>

><<<<< Especially if they have enough imagination to conceive

>of a good time without fucking. >>>>>

 

I remember saying both of those things and stand by them. Neither one makes a criticism of anyone's hiring tastes. They do poke fun at your inability to imagine that people might have different ideas of a satisfying time than your own.

[Guest Collie]

This is probably one of the funniest things I have ever read. I read it over and over and now I am going to print it. Whoever you are, FFF you are a man of great wit rarely seen today. I love your ability to put into perspective the reality of escort/client relationship and call it what it really is humorously. There is a lyric from an old song that says, "look at yourself if you had a sense of humor you would laugh to beat the band". And that is precisely what you did.......You made me, at least, look at myself, and I laughed to beat the band.