Fin Fang Foom Returns to The Gaiety

[Guest Fin Fang Foom]

Well boys and girls. It was a rainy cold day here in the world's most important and most celebrated metropolis so I decided to ankle on up to The Gaiety and take in the lads who have rent to pay.

 

As I was sitting there, looking up at a dangling penis, I was reminded of Audrey Hepburn in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" when George Peppard took her to the strip bar. As she was sitting there watching a woman gyrate, she turned to George and asked: "Do you think she's deeply and importantly talented?"

 

The bad news is that I went in the afternoon and little did I know that the show with the 15 guys (or whatever the number is) is in the EVENING! So, I got to bask in the "talents" of only seven. I apologize and I promise I won't let it happen again.

 

So here we go....................

 

GEMINI came out wearing the tried and true jeans with sleeveless white t-shirt combo. Although he can move, his "dancing" was more robotic than rhythmic. It seemed as though someone wound him up backstage and then sent him out. Very attractive guy - although, he is gonna have one nasty double chin once he hits middle-age. Dark hair with blond highlights. So-so audience interaction. (And what a scary group THAT was!) He came out for the second "dance" with Mr. Happy very happy. He was accessorized with one of those clear rubber cockrings with the little spikes (those spikes make it butch, don't you think?). More robotic dancing. VERY BEAUTIFUL 6" uncut cock and perfectly proportioned balls. Lean muscular build and nice ass. Yes, he was barefoot for those who care about that sort of thing. He seemed to be very proud of his legs as he kept flexing them. They were nice but not body builder legs so I don't know what was up with that.

 

RONNIE was a latin guy who wore a white tank top/jeans/sneakers. Very handsome. Not very tall. Very muscular - in fact, pretty much perfection. Amazing abs (try and have those when you hit 40 baby doll!). He can actually dance and was very personable with the audience - which he gets points for in my book since 2/3 of the audience were embalmed. He came out for the 2nd "dance" sporting a very nice 8" uncut cock with a distinct leftward curve. Even though he had the thing choked at the base, he soon lost his hardon. However, he was a trooper and would continually jerked it off for the audience, which wheezed with appreciation. He also like to show off his big muscle butt - something of which he should be very proud.

 

SIMON is a big body builder who can't dance to save his life. He's one of those guys who looks MUCH older than he really is (steroids'll do that to ya). He's definitely been ridden hard and put away wet. He came out wearing a mesh top with those snap-away pants that are all the rage with Chippendale's dancers. You gotta give it to him, he's gotten himself into amazing shape (if you like that sorta thing) but at a large cost to his face. He came out for the 2nd "dance" with a fat 6" uncut cock that miraculously stayed hard the entire time - he too had one of those rubber spiked cockrings (they seem to be the thing to have at The Gaiety). He did his posing thing throughout the second song and showed off his ass alot - BIG ASS, as you would expect. One note though, maybe it's just me, but of all the small tattoos he could have chosen to put on his right ass cheek, I don't think a little butterfly was the butchest choice. He probably also has one of those little rat dogs.

 

SEBASTIAN came out wearing a shirt with a Chinese dragon on the back and some nondescript pants. This lad was a victim of mousse abuse. His hair had so much mousse and hairspray in it that you couldn't have driven a nail through it. His dancing, if you can call it that, was unmemorable - so much so, that I didn't even make a notation to myself about it. For his 2nd "dance" he came out with a lovely 7" uncut hardon and very nice tight balls. He got points from me for not having a cockring. However, the boner didn't stay up for long. Dancing in a morgue will do that to a guy. He had a lovely lean and muscular body but unfortunately he tattooed three Chinese symbols between his left obliques and middle abs. (When will these boys learn?!?) But what can you expect from a guy who wears a pooka shell necklace! For you ass men, and aren't we all, nice ass but nothing special.

 

ROCHA is a man. Not a boy. Not a guy. He's a M-A-N. I recognized him from my gym. He always working out with some bitch with bolt-ons who dresses like a whore. I can only assume that she's either a stripper or works for The New York Public Library. He's the Brazilian guy who's pictured in the Ipanema issue of Genre. His claim to fame is the "skeleton" tattoo that he has on his back - and some of his front. He came out wearing a white judo outfit and promptly got out of it. He was wearing some sort of underpants that were tight as a second skin and left nothing to the imagination. Rocha tried to dance and succeeded more than most of the others, but he's not a dancer. He's a man. He reappeared for the 2nd "dance" with an 8" uncut boner that swung to the left. Regular sized balls. He too had his cock choked at the base - very Robin Byrd Men4Men. He stalked the stage rather than danced for the second half. If you can look past his tattoos, you'll see that he has a PERFECT man's body. Perfectly proportioned, great legs, meaty ass, 6'3", hairy chest, great nipples, on and on. Did I mention he's a man? Rocha is the man that all you bottoms fantasize of fucking you into oblivion. In case I wasn't clear, he's a man.

 

ERIC came out wearing a "Nutrition Discount" of Houston, Texas t-shirt. I'm not sure The Gaiety is the product placement they had in mind when the made those shirts. But to make us feel more at home, he did wear a blue Yankees baseball cap. Eric was a short muscular latin guy who also danced robotically (cockrings and robots seemed to be the theme this afternoon.). He's a real muscle pup. For the 2nd "dance" he came out with a 7" cut hardon (the only cut guy of the show) that ALSO was choked at the base. He had beautiful quads but the calves needed more work. He was very personable and very attractive. I would fuck him.

 

JOHNNY was a blast from the past for me. He "danced" when I went there a few months ago. The chicken hawks in the audience sat right up and started squawking. It was a very funny thing to witness. This audience, which appeared to be ready to be interred, suddenly came to life like the corpse from The Mummy. They banged their canes against their walkers and tapped on their oxygen tanks like a bunch of cocaine-addicted rhesus monkeys wanting another fix. For a moment, I feared for Johnny's safety. I suspect he's use to this unseemly behavior and acted as though nothing was going on. He was wearing that same "skate board kid" outfit he had on last time (or a variation thereof) and did his usual "I'm at Boy Bar" dancing routine. For his 2nd "dance" he STILL couldn't get a hardon (just like the first time I saw him). His dick is just nicely plump and standing at half mast. Is there no one backstage who can blow this kid until he gets a boner? He saunters through his final minutes and gives the front row lots of shots of his butthole. What a trooper.

 

And that's all folks!

 

One side note: between dancers, I ran to the little boys' room to take a piss and there was a VERY hot guy standing up at the urinal jerking off. Don't you just HATE IT when attractive men use bathrooms for their own sexual gratification!?!?

 

Oh yeah, I gave him a grope for all of you..

 

Sacrificially yours,

 

FFF

[marc anthony]

If that Johnny is the cute boy from Montreal, he gives a great private. I had lots of fun with him, and he is definitely interactive.... and for those of you who are wondering, OF COURSE he is a twink!

[bill]

Trevor and Austin

 

The dancers this week were not that interesting to me. I did see Trevor and Austin, two of the best of the Gaiety dancers, at Starstruck today. Great bodies, handsome faces and nice guys. They are not working at the club this week, but they are New York for a couple of days. :9

[mmk]

FFF

 

Thank you for a very thorough, amusing and slightly catty review of the Gaiety. I found myself laughing at loud at some of your comments.

The whole review read as though it would have been delivered by Joan and Melissa Rivers at Oscar night on E.

[Guest Fin Fang Foom]

>The whole review read as though it would have been delivered

>by Joan and Melissa Rivers at Oscar night on E.

 

I assume that was meant as a compliment.

 

:-)

 

Dubiously yours,

 

FFF

[NY Observer]

Interesting perspective.

 

As I always state, we all have different preferences. I didn't enjoy the show as much this week as I normally do.

 

Thanks for your input, FFF.

 

Maybe I should just cut and paste your review into mine Nah, I'll be a lot kinder to the dancers and to the audience.

[mmk]

yes FFF, it was most deinately meant as a compliment.

[Guest jimmy]

RE: Trevor and Austin

 

I agree that they are definitely two of the most handsome dancers at the Gaiety. How long are they in N.Y.? How can they be contacted? Where is Starstruck ? Any info is most welcome.

[+ Charlie]

Reading your reviews is much more amusing than actually going to the Gaiety. Thanks.

[Guest sniper]

NYO, I realize you put a good deal of time and effort into the reviews - and we appreciate it. I was wondering if it would be possible to just post a list of names in the Message Center on , say, Saturday so those of us in the area can decide if we want to go that night? I know, I know, just go, but 3 hours, plus travel time, plus 17 bucks adds up...

Or FFF or some other intrepid regular could do it.

[HooBoy]

Sebastian & Eric were my faves, but Sebastian wouldn't give me the time of day and Eric was already booked with some geeky guy -- maybe you, FFF. :-)

(just kidding)

:-)

[Guest Fin Fang Foom]

>Sebastian & Eric were my faves, but Sebastian wouldn't give

>me the time of day and Eric was already booked with some

>geeky guy -- maybe you, FFF. :-)

>(just kidding)

>:-)

 

And which show were you at?

 

Curiously yours,

 

FFF

[NY Observer]

Hi Sniper,

 

I don't venture on the Message Center as often as I used to. If you want a particular week's lineup, please feel free to email me. I'll try to get back to you.

 

Ask FFF, I've answered his emails about the last 3 or 4 weeks.

[Guest Fin Fang Foom]

>Ask FFF, I've answered his emails about the last 3 or 4

>weeks.

 

And he gets a big gold cyber-star for it too!

 

Appreciatively yours,

 

FFF

[Guest Big Spender]

FFF,

 

I like your style of writing/critiquing the Gaiety show...Seems like you go for the the fun of it and you do not take it all so seriously.

 

As a regular client of Gemini's I can verify that his cock is CUT and probably a little larger than 6" Not wild about the cock ring but whatever it takes to keep it up I suppose.

 

Great comments about Sebastian...and Hooboy I feel your pain I tried to set something up with him this past weekend and he wasn't very accomodating with me or my friend.

 

Lastly, what's up with all the women in the audience these days?

 

They are starting to turn the Gaiety into a Chippendale's sort of place. Two gals attended the 10:30 p.m. show on Sunday night and started screaming "take it all off" to Sebastian who totally ignored the male guests and played up to these ladies only. And one other dancer allowed the gals to put a dollar in his underwear while on stage

"yo Denise" whatsup with that?

 

Just my two cents worth!!!