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Kudos for Mike Stefano


BuckyXTC
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As many of you may or may not know, Mike Stefano has shared his addiction struggle with this message center community and has just taken the very positive step toward his recovery by joining Narcotics Anonymous. I envision this new thread as a place for folks to express their encouragement and support for Mike as he makes his way toward recovery. The other thread is getting quite long and I felt a new one could be useful and appropriate. So have at it, friends. Let Mike know how you feel about his efforts to put his life on track. I'm so very proud of him, and believe he's going to win this battle, with perseverance, and help from his friends.

BuckyXTC

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To Mike,

 

Kudos to you babe, and know there is nothing but love and acceptance for you here in Chicago. My shoulders may be scrawny and bony, but grab them, put your head on them, cry on them, any time you need baby.

 

We're ALL completely on your side. You really do have friends here.

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Guest Stephan-Lacoste

Whatever is going to happen, has to happen, and that is called fate. But there's one person who can change it and he's none other than yourself Mike. We all wish you the best.

 

I wanted to share this citation or saying...

"Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, and to those who still love even though they've been hurt before. "

 

 

Stephan Lacoste

1-702-616-3345

http://www.stephanlacoste.com

http://www.eboysvideo.com

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Guest ohioguy13

From someooone who has been through all of it...Hang in there Mike...It is well worth it...been along time and it just keeps ketting better and better...How can I reach Mike ...I would like to share some recovery with him...

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In my professional like, I have met countless clients with addiction problems -- generally unrecovered alcoholics and addicts. In my private life I also have met many alcoholics and addicts -- generally recovering ones. The thinking process of unrecovered alcoholics/addicts is impaired and they never can take responsibility for their actions. This is just the way they are. It is not just a chemical problem, but also a thinking disorder. I try to keep that in mind and I try to be understanding, patient, supportive and non-judgmental. Despite the frustration of having an alcoholic/addict friend, there is always hope for change.

On the other hand, the best friends I have ever had are almost always recovering alcoholics. It is like night and day. They are loyal, trustworthy and truly live by the adage that when the going gets tough, they are tough and they get going. There is no more difficult person to deal with than an unrecovered alcholic/addict and there is no better person than one who is in recovery.

I don't know what causes the difference and I realize that in the recovery process, there are almost always set backs and relapses. However, it seems to me that the change that occurs is when the alcoholic/addict finally accepts that with the help of God and others, he or she is responsible for his or her own actions. I don't think there is really anything that we can do to help people with this problem other than to be patient and ready to help when the alcoholic/addict decides to recover.

I don't know Stefano, but it sounds like he has made that first step. I hope all of his friends can be supportive and help him get through the down times. I live in Las Vegas and I hope that someday I will be able to meet him during his recovey process.

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Guest Gentle Dude

>I wanted to share this citation

>or saying...

>"Love comes to those who still

>hope even though they've been

>disappointed, to those who still

>believe even though they've been

>betrayed, and to those who

>still love even though they've

>been hurt before. "

>

>

Stephan,

 

This passage is so beautiful. You are a very caring and loving person. I was in Las Vegas last month looking at investment properties and hopefully when I return there, I'll have the pleasure of meeting you and Mike.

 

 

And to Mike,

 

Hang in there, buddy. Life has so much to offer a young guy like you. Remember that there are a lot of people praying for your speedy recovery. I wish you all the best and God Bless...

 

GD

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Guest Stefano

Bucky you are as sweet as ever and I thank you for starting this new thread. For todays response go to the old thread. I posted today. I am off to my meeting and will let you know the latest when I return.

 

Mike ;-)~

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Thanks Mike, saw your latest post in the other thread; also spoke with Vanessa while trying to reach you and she said you were all set for a meeting tonight. Way to go, my friend! You're making us all so proud of you and happy for you!

BuckyXTC

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Guest Stefano

Well a bit of dissappointing news. I thought that the meeting was at 8 but it was at 7;15 so I missed it. Instead I made dinner and then decided to go play some pool. Well I went to play pool, got a pepsi and before I knew it I had drank three bud lights. From there I was invited by the guys I was playing pool with to go to the "Eagle". It was underwear night. I went. Had about five more beers and danced up a storm but woke up with a really bad hangover. I remember from the last meeting I heard someone saying how they dropped their drug addictions and pulled full steam into and alcohol addiction. I really don't want to be that person. I made a promise to myself not to drink anymore either but that is a bit more difficult. Well I am going to a meeting tonight. I know I may have dissapointed some of you with this news but I am more dissappointed with myself I believe. Until next time....

 

Mike

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Dear Mike:

 

I'm not disappointed in you, because I appreciate the vulnerability we all have when we struggle like this. So you fell off the horse. You can stay on the ground, or you can get back on and make a new start. Vers7 is right on the money. Setbacks happen. Don't let a setback prevent you from starting again amd moving toward your goal. Now you are aware that it can be just as easy (and dangerous) to replace one addiction for another. Don't let that happen. Take the bull by the horns and firm up your resolve. We still believe in you and your ability to prevail. You have my phone number; call me collect if you need to. And keep us posted of your progress or setbacks. No one is giving up on you, so don't give up on yourself. And if you aren't accustomed to using the private mailbox here in the message center, check that out as well. A lot of folks haven't discovered it. You've got mail there to be read.

Hugs and much love and affection to you,

BuckyXTC

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Mike,

 

I wish I could be there playing pool with you. I suck (I'm talking about pool right now), but at least you could have enjoyed an easy victory. Had I been there with you, I would have stopped you before the third beer. I'm not judging you, not after the shit you went through, not after your brave decision to take responsibility and fight back. I'm only sorry to hear about the setback. Don't be hard on yourself (setbacks happen), you know the way we feel about you is unconditional, so take it easy and see what you can learn from last night's incident. Try to keep a diary for the meetings, they are even more important than your professional appointments right now, try not to miss any meeting. I wish I could be there to wake you up with a kiss at 6pm and drive you to the meeting at 7pm. A diary is your second best option if I cannot be available. You've come this far, you have taken a big first step, I'm confident you will find the willpower to follow through, the right stuff is there in you.

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Guest Stephan-Lacoste

Hi guys, Today was a very good day for me. I woke up went to the gym and has done a lot of work on the computer. But I also saw mike for lunch and he is just looking as great as he looked last week. Just tired for sure because of last night but he is really motivated and this is great.

Tonight is the Meeting night again but we will go play some pool games afterwards as we used to and we would have a lot of fun , before an other day start.

Again Without those threads and nice messages from you guys, Mike would have chosen a different way to go, but he has made the right choice thanks to you.

 

PS : http://www.MrMikeStefano.com is on his way and would be ready within a week.

 

Learn from the past, live for today, look for tomorrow. Take a nap this afternoon, and I'm on my way :)

 

Love you all

 

 

Stephan Lacoste

1-702-616-3345

http://www.stephanlacoste.com

http://www.eboysvideo.com

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Stephan:

 

You're nothing short of awesome! Just as we love and care about Mike, the same is true of you! I greatly appreciate your kind, gentle spirit and the wisdom you share with us all. Though we've never met in person, I count you as a special friend, and hope we do get that opportunity to meet someday. It would be great if you would activate your private message inbox at this site so we can more easily communicate with you in private, as well as the public postings. Feel free to call me or email me at any time. Always good to hear from you. I've sent that quote you had in message#2 to a friend who's experiencing some difficulty and it was really appreciaated. Take care, my friend, and keep in touch.

BuckyXTC

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>Oups I might look stupid

>but how do you activate

>it ?

>I have never used it before

>...:(

>

>Stephan Lacoste

>1-702-616-3345

>http://www.stephanlacoste.com

>http://www.eboysvideo.com

 

Steph:

 

Click the User button when you enter the message center, and select the option called "Modify your profile and set forum options. Make sure the button which says disable private inbox is set to "off". That should allow you to receive private messages.

BuckyXTC

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Guest Stefano

Well ok. So I know I told you guys that I was dissappointed with myself. But TODAY, my feelings are much different.

 

I went to my meeting last night. The subject of discussion was on the fourth step which deals with self obsession. It was also one guys 6 year birthday of sobriety. The group, well most of them all combined the topic and also spoke about this guy with amazing things to say. As each shared I began to see into what I am now calling my "Homegroup"! The love and tears and laughing and joking were all very tempting to me. Especially the fact that they all have at least 3 yrs sober(a lesbian couple) all the way up 22 yrs sober.

 

I immediately felt myself responding with sincere smile and laughter at their jokes. And true joy at hearing their experiences and struggles in the past and still today even being sober.

 

Finding a home group is a very important step for me to start grounding myself and becoming stable here in Las Vegas. I'm very elated right now. Walking on cloud nine some would say.

 

I also have chosen to ask one of the men to sponsor me. I'm still a bit nervous to do so but I think he will say yes.

 

As for last night, Stef and myself went and played pool at the bar. I drank a pepsi. And it was the best pepsi that I've ever had! And thats all I have to say about that for now. Well besides 44 days! ;-)~

 

Mike ;-)~

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Mike, I've been following this and the other thread since the beginning, wondering if the time would come when I might have something useful or supportive to say. Now, I think I do.

 

Many, many twenty-four-hours have passed since I had my last drink, but the only thing that separates any recovering addict from another recovering addict is one drink/snort/puff/shot/pill of whatever it was that got him there. I am one drink away from a drunk, no matter how long I go between drinks.

 

You found out something very valuable the other night, having to do with addiction. And because you snapped back and went back to meetings, you're in a good position to regard that episode as a direct gift of your Higher Power.

 

If I were your sponsor, I would remind you of some medical facts: (1) some drugs, especially opium derivatives, are 100% addictive with repeated use; (2) some drugs, such as cocaine, are highly addictive, but a few people can pick it up and put it down recreationally; (3) some drugs, like codeine, are addictive, but mildly so; (4) of all drugs, alcohol is the LEAST addictive, claiming only about 10% of users as addicts.

 

Therefore, a person who is addicted to alcohol is addicted to anything else, whether he tries it or not. I have known codeine addicts and even opium addicts who, when detoxed, used alcohol like any other social drinker. I have never known an alcoholic -- even one who had been completely abstinent for years -- who could use anything, even marijuana, safely. I have met and talked about this with probably scores of recovering alcoholics who tried to use pot every now and then, or even valiums for anxiety, and wound up getting drunk.

 

I didn't say that they cannot use mild, recreational drugs at all; I didn't say that they get high every time they use them; and I didn't say that every use will lead them to drink. But I did say, and I mean it, that no one who is addicted to alcohol can use any other drug with safety.

 

I do not speak from personal experience, because I have never dared touch any kind of drug since I quit drinking. I am only passing on to you what other happily recovering members of AA have told me.

 

The other thing I'd say to you if I were your sponsor is this: stay with sober people in dry places until you are completely comfortable with your new, recovering, "self." At first it may seem odd, and to your old friends, who knew you when, you may seem stand-offish. But our primary responsibility as recovering addicts is to ourselves and to our healthful recovery.

 

Nobody who is allergic to bee stings should keep honeybees, even if he's wrapped up from head to foot in protective gear.

 

I wish you so, so, so, so well! I wish I were a member of your homegroup so that I could keep shaking your hand and keep telling you to keep coming back!!!!

 

More life to you.

 

Will

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Will:

 

Many thanks for once again gracing us with your eloquence and wisdom! You are so gifted in communicating just what is needed at precisely the right time. I feel so fortunate that you are here at the Message Center. Many, many thanks!

 

And to Mike:

 

Glad your meeting last night was a good one, and looking forward to your next report. Don't forget to check your inbox here from time to time. You never know when someone may have sent something along to you.

 

BuckyXTC

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Guest Stefano

I am so sorry guys that I haven't written anything yet. I am off to see a client(Late) because I couldn't stop reading. Again I must reiterate what I said before. Just because I haven't responded doesn't mean I have read! That being said, tomorrow morning is dedicated to those responses to you all who seem to be so dedicated to me. You deserve the curtesy. Love you all and have a great night!....

 

Mike ;-)~

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I would also like to say kudos to Mike and Stef for both being strong and also agree with what everyone else has said which covers most of what i would have said anyway(nice to see the big heart of this board is still functioning :))also i would like to give kudos to BuckyXTC for being a positive influence in general during what was and still is a very hard time for Mike who despite his tender years has shown the maturity of someone twice his age.Good Luck and Big Hugs,Andy

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Hi Andy. I hope you are having fun Down Under. I can't agree more: a big kudos goes for Mike, Steph and Bucky. Like always, Bucky is expressing my own thoughts, only much better. In addition to finding the right words of support, he goes out to find the phone numbers, makes personal phonecalls, and does everything imaginable to help our friend win this fight. If I ever get into trouble, I wish I'll find someone like Bucky to help me out. Bucky: as I said earlier, I'm glad you are on this wagon.

 

Hey Mikey!

 

I knew it all along! I'm so proud of you! I know you are not going to miss many meetings from now on. The beginning was a bit bumpy, but that's normal. And I think Pool'n'Pepsi parties rock! You'll be all right, you are on the right track. You are so brave, I can only try and imagine how hard this must have been for you, facing deep shit, then opening up you heart and deciding to take full responsibility over your fate and with a little help from your friends, jump on your horse and fight back. You've got every reason to be proud of yourself, and we've got every reason to admire you, love you and cheer for you. Way to go! I'm going to leave a message in your inbox, so check it some time. Please drop me a message in my inbox whenever you feel there is something on your heart that you would like to share with me. Hugz!

 

Hi Steph,

 

Thanks for your latest post, and thanks for being there for Mike. It's so sweet of you facing up to all this despite your broken heart. It looks like you are the sweetest French export to the U.S. Oh, and I'm also grateful for Mike's Web site that you are going to give us. I have refrained from asking for one, it seemed a little selfish to ask for it when Mike was facing major problems, but I'm looking forward to browsing it. Hugz to you too,

 

cmp (un des votres admirateurs)

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