Feeling ugly/unattractive when with a provider

[+ purplekow]

On 8/24/2025 at 1:13 PM, Tom C. Sinclair said:

Agreed. But if someone doesn’t offer something because it’s out of their wheelhouse but will for an upcharge, I’m inclined to think you’re paying a premium price for something someone would rather not do, not a premium service. That’s my point. You’re paying more to compensate because it’s not what the guy wants to do, not that it’s premium. 

I never said I paid more, I just asked if they would at an opportune time.  The heat of passion does not burn only in the client. 

[TJMS]

I always go over my needs with the escort before I meet them. Honesty truly is the best policy, because thus far, I have not been disappointed. Or I must be damn lucky in whom I selected! Lastly, I have only gone with escorts that members of this forum have recommended, and they have never steered me wrong.

[DMonDude]

3 hours ago, purplekow said:

I never said I paid more, I just asked if they would at an opportune time.  The heat of passion does not burn only in the client. 

I myself often somewhat struggle with the logic that @Tom C. Sinclair mentions in the comment of theirs you quoted. Like you said i also usually try to differentiate with a provider between something they actively hate doing but would do because they need the extra money vs something they simply don't do often/every time/is just more "work" but will do on request for the up charge. I never want the provider to be miserable while they're working with me so i dont do the former.

At the same time though, I've somewhat concluded even if it's an up charge for something that isn't in their wheel house... Are we not already doing that by default since even at base rate we're paying them for an interaction of whatever kind with someone who, in any other scenario, is not in their wheelhouse of attraction? It's somewhat drawing a line we've already stepped past in a way and now we're just discussing how many steps past one the other is.

Edited Monday at 11:50 PM by DMonDude

[+ purplekow]

20 minutes ago, DMonDude said:

I myself often somewhat struggle with the logic that @Tom C. Sinclair mentions in the comment of theirs you quoted. Like you said i also usually try to differentiate with a provider between something they actively hate doing but would do because they need the extra money vs something they simply don't do often/every time/is just more "work" but will do on request for the up charge. I never want the provider to be miserable while they're working with me so i dont do the former.

At the same time though, I've somewhat concluded even if it's an up charge for something that isn't in their wheel house... Are we not already doing that by default since even at base rate we're paying them for an interaction of whatever kind with someone who, in any other scenario, is not in their wheelhouse of attraction? It's somewhat drawing a line we've already stepped past in a way and now we're just discussing how many steps past one the other is.

It is also true that there are things which I would not usually do, but if asked or prompted to do so when I am in the right frame of mind, I might go ahead and do it.  I have never paid extra for a special service, but I have had escorts tell me after we are done that they don't usually do a certain act, but this time it felt as though it would be fun.  I think sexual tastes are always  evolving.  I am surprised sometimes when I find myself doing something that is not usual for me, but in this case with this person, it seemed the most natural thing in the world.  

Again I say, if you do not ask you definitely do not get.  I always accept no for an answer in this regard.