I Like Escorts... Are There Some Who Don't?

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

I like escorts!! I like them all except for those who are rip-off artists or those severly encumbered with excessive attitude. I like escorts with great looks or not the greatest looks, with great chemistry or less than great chemistry. That is not to say I don’t like some more than others, I surely do. But I like almost all the guys I’ve met and that is more than a few. All that is required is that they demonstrate that for our time together they want to be with me and show me a good time (even if things don’t work out all that great). I do try to exercise some care in my selection to find someone compatible and with a positive track record -- just good consumer practice. And for balance, there has been the odd occasion where I did’nt think I got my money’s worth.

 

Now to get to my point... I sense an undercurrent gleaned from some posts (especially tones) over the last few months (maybe longer) that there are those who don’t really like escorts. So if I’m right, then it must be the sex and the convenience that attracts them to engage escorts? Under these circumstances can anyone find a truly satisifying experience? Are these people conflicted about what they do and why the do it?? I am not conflicted, most definitely -- no shame, no guilt, no remorse, no way, no how. Maybe that accounts partially for my positve experience to date... or maybe I’m just easy to please.

[+ deej]

Thank goodness we have you here, TY!

 

I don't have anything sage to add, but I'll join hands with you and say I like escorts too.

 

I don't understand the hate we see here either, but I really do like escorts!

[Guest sdmuscl4hire]

Well said.

 

As I have said many times before, Respect is a two way street.

[Guest ChicagoCorey]

I Like Clients...

 

While we're sharing the love, I have to go on record as saying that I like clients. During the 3 months or so that I've been escorting, I've met more great gay guys in the Chicago area than I have during the 3 years I've lived here.

 

Again, except for some guys who have attempted to rip me off, I haven't had that many bad experiences. I've had fun. I meet new and interesting people. I like and respect them and we have a great time. And more often than not, they respect me. The only bad experiences I've had come when others don't respect me.

 

I think as long as that two-way street of respect happens, new relationships of all kinds can be great ones -- and this certainly applies to message boards as well

 

-------

chicagocorey@yahoo.com

new site and pictures

http://www.geocities.com/chicagocorey

[BewareofNick]

I like escorts too! The only ones I don't like are those who rip clients off, like Nick and Anthony Holloway..and, oh yeah, those few that have show up here with their head in their <you know what>

[liubit]

I love most of them (very few exceptions), but I respect all of them (no exceptions!)

[Justice]

Trust Nick and Tampa to express my thoughts even better than I ever could. I like and respect most escorts -- the only exceptions being the same as Nick's -- the ones that I have met have been very nice guys. So have the ones that I've exchanged e-mails with. Thanks guys!

[Guest jizzdepapi]

BRAVO, Tampa Yankee!!!!

 

glad to see this post, TY!

 

hell, yeah. reminds me of when Margaret Cho was asked whether she was lesbian and why she had such appeal to a gay male audience. she replied, "No, I'm just a slut. Where's my parade?" gonna email her and tell her to join our message center.

 

jizz

[Will]

What a great thread, TY! I like escorts, too. They belong to an ancient profession that has been much admired in other times and other cultures. In fact, I'd say one of the great things about this particular phase of the gay movement is the visibility of escorts. When I was younger the whole thing was sort of shameful, hush-hush, and escorts were not "escorts" but "hustlers." And most of them pretended to be straight. One of the things I love best about escorts is that most of them are out as gay and celebrate the kind of magic that male sexuality has. That's why I keep coming back here. Thanks, thanks.

[Losgatan]

Tampa,

 

Although we’ve touched on this issue many times over the past few months, it still troubles me greatly. So greatly, in fact, that I’m seriously considering dropping out of this board.

 

As everybody knows, we’ve got two distinct factions here. I believe it was you (or Boston Guy) who first christened them as the “whamers” and the “charmers.” Unfortunately, those words are far too innocent to adequately express the dichotomy we are wrestling with.

 

There are those among us who see dates with escorts as nothing more than a commercial form of anonymous sex. They fear emotional and intellectual involvement with escorts, treat them as “paid meat,” and feel no remorse over the hurt they so often cause, either deliberately or through carelessness. And yes, I do believe that some of these folk are actually contemptuous of their escorts and see them as some lesser form of being – untrustworthy liars whose only redeeming quality is the ability to serve up a hot lay on demand.

 

I hated anonymous sex when I was younger and I certainly have no interest in paying for it now. To me, it’s a degrading, dehumanizing experience which always leaves me feeling guilty, dirty and unfulfilled. If this were the only alternative available, I’d much rather pleasure myself with a high-powered vibrator and steamy porno.

 

But, thank God, there is another alternative – one that I’ve been fortunate enough to experience many, many times over the past dozen years. It’s the commercial form of a “blind date” where two people get together with the genuine hope of finding warmth, trust, mutual affirmation – and, perhaps, even affection. Since there’s no way of predicting how good the chemistry will be, each participant enters into the date with muted expectations. But each brings with him a sincere desire to connect with the other as fully and completely as possible. And sex is just one delightful aspect of that connection.

 

After reading this board for over a year, I sadly accept that the “whamer” contingent is here to stay. There’s no way I or anybody else can convince them to change their behavior. But, my interests, needs and experiences are so different from theirs that I wish we posted to separate boards so that we could stay out of each other’s hair.

 

In the meantime, I pray we can find some way to protect those well-meaning escorts who get caught up in the crossfire. No one deserves the abuse heaped on Jason and Zack here during the past month

[Guest jeffOH]

Tampa Yankee--Some of my best friends are escorts or have worked

in the business in the past. I've also met(and hired)escorts who

had a lot of attitude and had a totally different approach to

escorting.

 

The escorts I've liked the most weren't the best looking/best

body or biggest cock. They were the ones who were the most

passionate about what they were doing. There are some very good

escorts out there who are like horsey rides that you used to find outside grocery stores years ago...you put your money in and

you get your ride. I was in D.C. a couple of weeks ago and hired

an escort as a birthday present to myself. It was one of my best

experiences with an escort, mainly because of his friendliness

and his commitment to showing me an excellent time.

 

As an escort of 10 years, I've seen a lot of different attitudes

from clients. I think you're right about the undercurrent(tones)

of some of the posters here and your analysis. I feel in some

instances a client is projecting their dysfunction onto me. They

would be so into me and what we were doing, but as soon as they

orgasmed the negativity would start. Initially, I took this

personally then I realized it wasn't about me.

 

I think some of these men are working there way through their

sexually dysfunctional attitudes with me as some have opened up

and shared the source of their low self-esteem, sexual dys-

function or self-loathing. I'm glad to have been of some help

to these men. This is yet another facet of escorting that has

kept me in it for the past decade.

[Guest Esc_Tracker]

OK, that does it. This is one of the disadvantages of tuning out. What horrible things were said to or about Jason and Zack, and who were the guilty parties?

 

Next, for all our division into "whammers" and "charmers", it is pretty clear there is an equivalent distinction on the escort side between those who see clients as patrons and those who see them as "assholes who pay for it because they can't get it for free" (to quote one of the more memorable lines). If we are going to ship off the "whammers", shouldn't we at least book passage for their escort counterparts as well?

 

Esc-Tracker

[Guest wolverine]

This thread raises some interesting questions that seldom get asked. To whit: What are hirers of escorts really looking for in sex? Is it just experiencing one or more gratifying, physical acts? Is it just sensation?

 

When I was young and impressionable I entered into a heavy-duty, sexual relationship with a Freudian psychiatrist. Much of what I endured for a year--What did you MEAN by that gesture? Why did you lose your keys? What were you afraid of getting into?--was stupid and is best forgotten. But Dr. Would-Be-Freud taught me to question sexual desire and motives, in ways that may pertain to seeking out escorts, and to liking them or not.

 

It seems to me that, consciously or unconsciously, the client brings emotional baggage to the escort experience. He may be wounded and need affection, which the practiced escort can temporarily at least provide. On the other hand, the client may bring anger, resentment, frustration. He may bring a lifetime of unresolved issues, for which the escort provides a convenient, unwitting focus.

 

That would explain the nastiness of some exchanges on these boards, and the exaggerated importance often attached to minutiae. So much emotional well-being is at stake!

 

Self-questioning and -knowledge are requisite to sex, commercial and otherwise. That's my take, anyway, for what it's worth.

[Justice]

>Although we’ve touched on this issue

>many times over the past

>few months, it still troubles

>me greatly. So greatly,

>in fact, that I’m seriously

>considering dropping out of this

>board.

 

Please stay! We need a sane voice around here!

 

>As everybody knows, we’ve got two

>distinct factions here. I

>believe it was you (or

>Boston Guy) who first christened

>them as the “whamers” and

>the “charmers.” Unfortunately, those

>words are far too innocent

>to adequately express the dichotomy

>we are wrestling with.

 

Most of the "whamers" are regular posters, who post under the same screen names, and are thus very easy to identify. They apparently don't care who they hurt with their hate filled diatribes. Unfortunately, these posters are here to stay. Each one of can decide who these posters are. I've decided stop read the posts of those people who I consider to be "whamers". If I don't read their posts, I can't respond to them. More importantly, I won't be exposing myself to their hostile view of the world. The only time that I may be drawn into a contentious debate is if someone (especially an escort) is being attacked. (I'll be able to tell that something ugly is being said by reading other posts in the thread.) The only time that I will unknowingly expose myself to a "whamer" is by reading a post by unfamiliar screen name. Will I miss out on some spirited discussions or a little humor? Perhaps! But I sure as hell won't miss reading some of the ugliness that is so frequently expressed by the "whamers".

 

>There are those among us who

>see dates with escorts as

>nothing more than a commercial

>form of anonymous sex.

>They fear emotional and intellectual

>involvement with escorts, treat them

>as “paid meat,” and feel

>no remorse over the hurt

>they so often cause, either

>deliberately or through carelessness.

>And yes, I do believe

>that some of these folk

>are actually contemptuous of their

>escorts and see them as

>some lesser form of being

>– untrustworthy liars whose only

>redeeming quality is the ability

>to serve up a hot

>lay on demand.

 

Unfortunately, you're right on target. There is some real hatred here. People seem to forget that escorts are just like everyone else. They're real people, with real feelings, and with real hopes and dreams for the future.

 

>After reading this board for over

>a year, I sadly accept

>that the “whamer” contingent is

>here to stay. There’s

>no way I or anybody

>else can convince them to

>change their behavior. But,

>my interests, needs and experiences

>are so different from theirs

>that I wish we posted

>to separate boards so that

>we could stay out of

>each other’s hair.

 

I hate to sound like a broken record, but I for one plan to start depriving the whammers of their audience. As I mentioned above, the one thing that I can do about them is to stop reading their posts.

 

>In the meantime, I pray we

>can find some way to

>protect those well-meaning escorts who

>get caught up in the

>crossfire. No one deserves

>the abuse heaped on Jason

>and Zack here during the

>past month

 

Absolutely! No ONE should have been treated like that! x( I'm not sure what else that we as a group can do, but that's my two cents.

[Justice]

>OK, that does it. This

>is one of the disadvantages

>of tuning out. What

>horrible things were said to

>or about Jason and Zack,

>and who were the guilty

>parties?

 

I don't want either one of them to relive the experience. If you really want to know, then use the board's search feature and do a search for posts authored by "Jason Reardone" and "Zack Evans". Don't say that I didn't warn you.

[Justice]

>I don't want either one of

>them to relive the experience.

>If you really want to

>know, then use the board's

>search feature and do a

>search for posts authored by

>"Jason Reardone" and "Zack Evans".

>Don't say that I didn't

>warn you.

 

I hate not having an edit function! I forgot to say that by doing a search for posts by Jason and Zack you come across several threads. Some of them will be innocent, others will have innocent sounding titles and a few on topic initial posts, but will quickly deteriorate into some pretty nasty stuff, there will be other threads where the title says it all! Again, don't say that I didn't warn you!

[Guest Esc_Tracker]

Justice, thanks for the good will, but I didn't come to this board yesterday. :-)

 

I know where I could find them if I was willing to spend hours paging through threads 50+ postings long (which I am not). I was just hoping someone could give me the gist in one sentence each so I can make sense of postings alluding to these incidents. (I don't want a blow by blow account). :-(

 

Since you claim to know, you might indulge me, if for no other reason than to avoid tempting me to read the "whamers" you prefer I didn't. ;-)

 

Esc-Tracker

[Justice]

Unfortunately, I don't want to reopen ugly debates that are better left closed and that's exactly what a public summary will do. Can I e-mail you?

[Guest Esc_Tracker]

Sure, my private inbox is enabled (or should be) as far as I know, if that's what you mean. :-)

 

Esc-Tracker

[Guest Conway]

Darn right I do

 

I think that Jake Walker out in San Francisco put it best when he said on his website, (and I paraphrase). "I'm just like you. When I see a client for the first time I fear rejection. So I'm always a little nervous."

 

We're all just people. Once we get to know each other, our nervousness will disappear. An escort shouldn't care why a guy hires an escort just like a client shouldn't worry why an escort is escorting. Obviously client and escort find themselves in a hotel room for mutual reasons.

[Guest jizzdepapi]

>I hated anonymous sex when I was younger and I certainly have no interest in paying for it now. To me, it’s a degrading, dehumanizing experience which always leaves me feeling guilty, dirty and unfulfilled.

 

did anyone else ever see an old episode of Star Trek that posited a planet where people proposed wanton sex with anyone they desired based solely on physical attraction? there were never any questions about emotional involvement or future--just a very physical present. i found it such a hedonistic pleasure and so different from my very puritanical and judgemental upbringing.

 

omigod losgatan. i have always founds anonymous sex to be so much fun and really really really enjoy the disconnect from other kinds of relations, social or otherwise. i have always found anonymous sex to be the best stress reliever in which i could engage.

 

i don't disrespect my partner (who lately has always been paid for his involvement) in any way and certainly don't feel like i'm getting "less than" full satisfaction because i'm not involved with this person on an emotional level. in fact, i'm saving my emotional efforts for some very intimate relations with friends and family (at least for now) and am looking for involvement with another man on a physical level without the baggage or responsibilities a relation brings.

 

i just think this is fun and find no harm in it (and this has always been a large part of the freedom that i have enjoyed since my coming out).

 

you and i once agreed, on another thread, that it could be a lot of fun to form friendships with regular escorts. i still think that is true but i still know that our relationship is all about sex for pay, with friendly behavior on the side.

 

that's my take on this issue,

jizz

 

p.s.: i really really really hope you don't leave this board. i have lots of respec for you and look forward to your postings.

[Guest Joey Ciccone]

RE: I Like Escorts...

 

Tampa, you are my hero.

 

rentjoey@hotmail.com

[Justice]

I sent you a private message. I think that mine is diabled so you may not be able to respond. Please let me know either here or through a private message (if it goes through) that you got it. My reponse is kind of long. A lot went on. I tried to give you the facts without any editorial comments.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Justice,

 

"Most of the "whammers" are regular posters, who post under the same screen names, and are thus very easy to identify. They apparently don't care who they hurt with their hate filled diatribes.'

 

While I share some concerns with you and Losgatan, I think you are painting the whammers with a brush too broad... I do not think that being a whammer is synonymous with ill treatment and disrespect of escorts. I believe there are several 'whammers' on this board that make excellent counter examples. If I may be so bold as to offer just one example -- Boston Guy who coined the terms referred to himself as a whammer, if I recall correctly. There are many others who claimed that camp that are equally caring and respectful of others be they escorts or not.

 

On the other hand, I do not think that charmers are necessarily universally more caring and respectful. Some may have baggage that might manifest relationship problems with escorts. It is my gut feel that ill treatment and disrespect may have a higher correlation among the whammer group but that is speculation on my part based on my general impressions from this board. And if true I'm not prepared to assert that the correlation is that large. I believe that most clients of either group are respectful.

[Boston Guy]

TY: Thanks! <blush>