Escort contact etiquette for 1st timer

[Guest Aeri]

Hello guys..Have been reading these posts few months now, getting more courage to actually call an escort. For those of you more experienced w/this pls try to remember how NERVOUS this can make one feel!! So let me ask, what is the proper way of communicting what exactly one would like to take place or shoud I beat around the bush and drop hints? (not heavy heavy scene, just lite fantasy. Am going to Paris in July (have contacted a handsome very hung BB and I will be stopping in NY, so I am looking for those 2 places. Should I tell the potential escort? I.e, say I choose someone with killer body,dominant and well hung to play a "certain" role (maybe tie my hands behind my back (don't laugh) give me a few slaps here and there), I am too shy to probably say this..but if its my fantasy, then I guess I should. Has the escort "heard it all" before? What is going through his mind (oh my god-who is this!) Could certain escorts actually like making s/one worship them? Any suggestions on someone? (Donny Russo is not my type so no to that), but Matt Top's website says he is into "rape scenes", not really into that (but who knows), but my little fantasy is certainly less than a rape fantasy...Any thoughts, suggestions?? I actually prefer guys in my "real" social life smaller than me, not concerned w/size, but for the FANTASY play, that's what gets me!! I am an OKAY person!! Okay? Thanks,,,,,

[Guest Ken]

Aeri, That is a very interesting question to ask. I've been at this escort business for a couple of years now and I still am not able to ask the required questions on the telephone;i.e. what do they do and what won't they do......funny but like you, I am embarassed to ask.As a result, I have been burned. I am trying to get over this shyness and ask "do you......". Also, I think that the escort may not want to answer because he doesn't know who I am....could be law enforcement. As for the "fantasy" of being tied up etc: Unless you are VERY familiar with the escort, I would not suggest you engage in anything like that. I may be overly cautious here but you don't know who you are dealing with and who knows what can happen. Maybe I've seen too many police shows etc but don't ever put yourself in a defensless position with someone you don't know. I wouldn't do that, no matter HOW GOOD HIS REVIEWS ARE. A word to the wise. Be good, have fun BUT BE SAFE.

[Guest Aeri]

Ken, thanks for your reply..I totally agree, and I should have used better and more subtle words, but I would not let anybody tie me up in that sense. Yes, much too risky and far from my comfort mode. I guess I was implying more about a submissive role rather than equal partners shall I say, and certainly no chains, dungeons, whippings etc. really just to orally worship a dominating hunk (with a few good slaps here and there)...Maybe seeing too many prison movies, or reading too many Aaron Travis stories kind of got to me..I guess the thought always remains which things should stay in my head, and how much should I let leak out and experience. Yes I am much too shy about this, sometimes I think just to say to the escort "okay Ill say this once and quickly...blah blah blah blah blah, but just be nice and friendly when we meet, than go into roleplay, but it is just a fantasy"!!? Some escorts can sort of be actors, can they? It s all kind of new to me, so I have a lot of thinking to do...

[Guest Merlin]

You will never get over the nervousness because it is in large part eagerness and anticipation. Like opening Christmas presents and wondering what is inside. I suggest you look first for an escort who looks or sounds like the type you want. Then tell him you want him to be dominant, and let it go at that. Most tops are prepared to dominant. Most will feel uncomfortable with being told you want to be slapped around a little. Some escorts advertise that they are into that sort of thing,(Frontiersweb.com has a section on S&M models) but they are likely to go further than you want the first time. My own experience with guys who advertise as "dominant" is that they often are straights who do not want to get involved in actual sex themselves. They like to stand over you and order you to JO yourself.

[Bilbo]

Whether or not you go into a dungeon, get tied up or slapped the first time, it sounds like you will eventually as you explore your fantasies (which IMHO I think that you should). If the escort involved has any real experience in SMBD (and getting tied up is BD - bondage and discipline) he will know what a safe word is and should insist on using one. If he doesn't agree to a safe word, don't play with him. That simple. And the safe word system should be used by any and everyone except maybe lovers in a long term commited relationship (open or closed). So if you are about to go home from a leather bar with someone, negotiate a safe word Before you Leave the Bar!

Most leather people will agree with me on this.

So, what is a safe word? When the top starts to do something that in your opinion must not happen or when something has been interesting but is getting too intense, that is called finding one of your limits. When that happens, you signal the top by saying a word which would otherwise not come up in the playing out of the game. I personally use "Uncle." Many tops have a two tiered safe word - "Yellow" for when you think you are almost at a limit and "Red" for when you definitely are. When hearing the word, a safe, sane, trustworthy top will immediately stop whatever he was doing that made you say it. Then he will either give you a little breather or do something different. This is not something automatic. It is important enough that it needs to be negotiated with each different top you work with. Do not be surprised if the top eventually and slowly works back around to the same activity to see if you mind has changed, this is called stretching your limits and a good top is expected to do this. Also, do not be surprised if very early on in the scene, before you are tied, the top does something that you feel he should know is too intense for you at that moment. He may be (I would be) checking to make sure that you remember and are not afraid to use the safe word so that he can trust you to use it. He is also teaching you when you use it that he will back off, by doing so.

Enjoy!

[+ Charlie]

Asking an escort

 

All the advice given so far is excellent. I don't know what to tel youabout Paris, except that it will probably be harder to find what you are looking for there, and unless you speak French fluently, it may be difficult to communicate clearly what you what and don't want, so you could have an unpleasant surprise. In NY I would call someone who has been reviewed already on this site by other clients who have similar interests; there are a number of them. I don't know your type, but two I could recommend who are interested in the scene and reliable are Austin and Victor Burns.

[tedbear]

RE: Recommendation

 

You might want to check out Rick Munroe. Although I never really fantacized about the submissive role, but Rick pinned my hands back over my head once he got us into bed and took over from there. I have to admit I kind of got into being pinned. I had warned him I would need to be put at ease, and he did just that.

 

Try exchanging emails with him (or whomever) first and let him know a bit about what you want. Rick seems to be intuitive enough to go from there (check out his reviews and you'll see others agree!)