How many of your married friends lived together before marriage?

[Guest]

In another string, a poster was inquiring about marrying someone he'd met recently for immigration reasons, and I remarked that it might look unusual to get married without having first lived together. Another poster disagreed. Most married friends and relatives I know lived together before marriage. When I asked that of my partner, who comes from a very religious family, though, he said a majority had NOT lived together before marriage (though most had had sex). What's your experience been? I'm guessing that religious people might live apart before marriage? Other than my beau, I don't know a lot of religious people. Certainly all of my gay friends who've gotten married lived together first. 

[pubic_assistance]

I know a LOT of "religious people" ( being from Central PA ).
I can say from MY experience ( religious NOT meaning Christian, not Catholic nor Jewish or Muslim ) that even religious families accept that the kids should live together for a year before marrying. Their greater concern is having children out of wed-lock. That is still a no-no.  That said...the MOST religious Pennsylvania Deitsch do prefer a long courting period with a chaperone ( like it's still the 1950s ).

All my gay friends who didn't marry some foreigner who *luv u very much* were living together for a LONG time before they wedded. But that may have just been a matter of the drawn out argument over the legalities of gay unions.

 

[jeezifonly]

If partners have an arrangement of “not ready for marriage but ready for sex” and they are not co-habitating, it may be easiest on the relationship to keep that arrangement after marriage, for a part time living situation to transition into under one roof.

The older one gets, the more we like control of our habitat, and all of a sudden living with someone who’s out of that control, it takes adjustment from one or both parties. Live together first - if it reveals irreconcilable differences in how/where to live, there’s time to see if they might be reconciled, possibly in a new location, before legal marriage paperwork is the new hurdle to separating. 

Living, days on end, with someone with you love is great! Try it before tying the knot.