More than an escort ?

[MscleLovr]

I think what augustman has written above is very sensible advice.

 

My views are based on 2 such relationships. I was involved in a LTR with an escort (let´s call him A) for just over 4 years. A´s very good-looking and well-muscled. I´m an older guy, in very good shape, with plenty of money. A still has good reviews on this site, but says to me that he´s not working currently (though in my direct experience A´s not only very talented in bed but also a very skilled liar).

 

That finished over a year ago: 6 months ago, I became involved with another cute guy (let´s call him B). He´s reviewed once on this site, as he worked as an escort but does not do so now (so B says) and we´ve been in a relationship as a couple for 3 months so far.

 

My experience was that A called me "his boyfriend" before I thought of him in non-escort terms. This happened after a few paying dates, and then A stayed overnight with me, after we´d gone out for the evening a few times, without payment. A started giving me expensive gifts. A while later, A was the first to say "I love you". I had stopped paying A for sex completely by then.

 

We did discuss the "relationship" before we embarked on it. A told me he had stopped escorting, but he continued to work as an escort throughout (as I later discovered). A's day-job is fairly well-paid. So I´d pay for dinner most times when we went out, A´d pay some times. When we went on holiday, I´d book and pay for very good hotels as I enjoy them; A´d pay for something else.

 

With B, he told me about his escort-work and the financial need for it early on. I´m OK about it, as we all have a past, and I understand that B's day-job is socially useful but very poorly-paid. B is attracted to older guys and he said to me, after a few dates, that he´d like to try a relationship. So we´re working at it, and we have discussed various issues quite openly. Again, I do not give him money but I pay when we go to dinner and when we go on holiday, and he gives me gifts.

 

This division of resources is something I´m OK about: it recognises that we have different amounts of money. I´m attracted to younger masculine guys who are good-looking and have well-muscled bodies. I can´t expect to find such a guy who´s in the same financial position.

 

It´s clear to me now that A is very charming and very manipulative. The LTR with me is only the second he´s had (he´s late 30s), and I think it was his way of trying to change from being an escort and only having short-term affairs.

 

My advice would be threefold:

 

1. Be very clear with him about how you feel and state that you would like to see how a relationship might develop from your friendship.

 

2. Stop giving him money, if you have not already done so - friends and lovers do not pay each other for the time they are together.

 

3. Be clear in your own mind - before you discuss with him - how you feel about his escort-work and what he does sexually with other guys.

 

I hope this helps you.

ML

[rw164]

You guys are all great, thanks for all the advice. I think maybe it is time for me to give you all an update.

 

We did have a conversation, I approached it as something I just wanted to talk about, I did not make any demands or threats. We both agreed it would have been much easier if we met under different circumstances. Yes we are friends, yes we will do things together as friends, and yes that includes sex. As for supporting him, that is not really necessary since, he escorts part time and has a full time job. We are taking it slow and just having fun. I understand his position of being an escort and so far it has not played a part in our friendship but at some point it might.

 

As someone suggested I am just going with the flow and taking one day at a time. There are no expectations and whatever happens, happens, I really don’t think he is playing any games and has been up front about things (as best I can tell and I hope).

 

In my opinion escorts are people and have feelings and for the most part seem like good guys. What is so bad if an escort meets someone they like and click with? Escorts have feelings and may need to know they too have a friend. I am sure stranger things have happened. ;-)