First Emails and/or Phone Messages: What an Escort Wants to Hear

[humboldt]

Hi!

 

During the past three weeks I’ve been looking to hire an escort. Over the course of that time, I’ve sent out a total of 16 emails. To date, I have only received 2 responses. Of those 2, neither escort replied to my replies. I’ve also made 2 phone calls – separated by about 5 days – to a local escort, who I am pretty certain is still active, but neither call was returned.

 

I’ve hired a number of escorts in the past, but even in big cities (Atlanta, DC, Seattle) I’ve had difficulty getting responses.

 

I’ve also been a long-time reader of this site and know from postings that escorts are often busy, retire without removing their ads, and so forth. But at this point, having received so few responses, I really think I’m doing something wrong in my approach!

 

Basically in my emails I let the escort know who I am, in what city I live, that I’m pretty vanilla, and I ask them to let me know if they are still working so that we can discuss details in further emails or over the phone. I try to be brief – much briefer than this post!

 

I have not been too explicit at all – and maybe that’s a mistake. Perhaps I should be more detailed as a way of signaling that I’m serious, although I don’t want the emails to approach the vulgar.

 

That’s a long-winded way of me asking: What do you want to hear from perspective clients when they first contact you? Among the emails and/or calls you get, what makes you think “okay, this guy is serious, so I’ll call him back”?

 

Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!

 

Thanks!

Isaac

[+ newatthis]

Not an escort, but here's my 2 cents....

 

In my experience the guys you end up having a good time with are the ones who are professional enough and organized enough to respond promptly to inquiries. It's not a guarantee; more like a necessary condition. When I've hired someone who's slow to respond and hard to communicate with, I've always been sorry afterwards.

[Hamlet]

I emailed Josh Weston 11 times before he ever answered. We set up a date, and it was dynamite. I'm SO glad that I persisted.

 

I emailed and talked to Jason Rylee probably 15 times before he retired. Although by all accounts a terrific guy and fabulous escort, Jason was extremely busy balancing school and escorting, and was also a little disorganized and had a flaky streak. We never connected, and I'll always wish that I had just tried harder.

 

In my experience, a lack of response does not signal rejection. It doesn't signal anything. My experiences with Josh and Jason taught me to keep hammering away until or unless the escort tells me to get lost (which has never happened). Of course, if I weren't truly interested in a particular escort I wouldn't persist all that long, but my tendency is to see only guys whom I'm totally and ravenously lusting after, so the motiviation to keep at it is high.

 

My 2 cents.

[Juan Vancouver]

WARNING: Not to read if you dislike long posts

 

Hey Isaac!

 

It really sucks that you have received such poor response from our colleagues. But maybe your mails are sending red flags unbeknownst to you. Even if I always respond to all e-mails as soon as I can, (even the one liners in the "I want to fuck" style), I do feel more comfortable when I see certain elements in the incoming mail.

 

Here they are:

 

1. I want to know that you are either in my city, you are thinking of visiting, or are interested to take me wherever you are and pay for all expenses incurred. (I do receive mails saying "I am in Toronto too, so let's hook up!" -While I live in Vancouver). ;(

 

2. It is easier for me if you have a clear idea of what kind of session you are wanting to have. Often I receive mails in the tone of: "Want to get together... what do you recommend? One hour or do you prefer a weekend together? Would you like to go to the beach with me?" Normally mails that begin that way never come to completion. (There are always exceptions.) That to an escort sounds more like a gentleman in need of a sexy penpal.

 

3. It is all about YOUR fantasies, needs and preferences. Be clear, and never fear to be TOO explicit. You are contacting an escort! }( We have seen it all... (If we haven't done it all yet.) To be explicit and clear, you don't have to be rude. Stick to facts, not euphemisms. (Don't say "All I am looking for is for you to show me a great time... You know, happy wiener and all!" ) Also, I always get suspicious when someone wants me to -with lots of graphic details- describe my hottest fantasies and experiences as an escort... When someone asks for that, it is pretty sure that he is looking for jerk-off material, not to set up a session.

 

4. Never -ever- in your first contact with an escort write that you "want to perhaps become good friends". Remember that he is working. I am sure that if you received phonecalls at your work from people you don't know stating that they want to become your friend, you might feel a little suspicious. Be as friendly as you can, but make clear that your intention for this communication is a business transaction.

 

5. Give your escort the benefit of the doubt. At least in your first mail assume that his fee is fair and his services outstanding. If you are thinking of trying to negotiate his fee or his time or his limits, do that little by little in your future communications. (I personally don't see with good eyes first mails like: "Hi, I want to hire you. I will only pay ____, and I want you to see me and my partner for the same fee for longer than an hour. Are you game?"

 

6. Be concise. (I am giving a bad example with this response.) I know some escorts feel horror when they see a two pages mail from a first time customer. (I personally like to read a lot, if the information is useful.)

 

And lastly, (even knowing by the tone of your question that you don't need this advice) Be polite. He is a professional, yes. But you are not enquiring about buying some hardware or getting your carpet cleaned. Let him know by the tone of your mail that the time you are going to spend together is going to be fun, comfortable and mutually respectful. I have noticed that sometimes American clients are very matter-of-fact in their mails.

 

If you are already taking all this into consideration and still you are getting no response... Keep searching. No escort that values his profession and his customers would not respond under such conditions. If he is not responding, no matter how much you try, it is possible that the session itself -if you ever get through- might not be the best. (There are exceptions of a few escorts terribly hard to contact, but amazingly good when it comes to the session itself, but they are not many.)

 

A good client of mine always copies/pastes the same mail and sends it to as many escorts as he is interested in in that city... He always gets interesting responses, and he always finds out who is a responsible businessman.

 

Keep trying and I hope that you will find what you are looking for soon!

 

Happy hiring!

[+ Charlie]

For what it's worth:

1)In my email subject line I always put "Escort appointment", so he doesn't interpret it as spam.

2)I don't go into elaborate detail about what I am interested in doing; I just say where I found his ad or review, when I would like to get together, and that I will go into more detail if he indicates that he is available. I also say how soon I need a response.

3)If I don't get a response within the time frame I have given him, I move on to someone else.

 

I have generally found this the most efficient way to handle emailing an escort. Occasionally I get an answer much later than I expected, because the escort has not been checking his email regularly, but by then I have usually made other arrangements. On one recent occasion I wasted a lot of time with a potential escort because we didn't give one another enough information about our interests in the initial emails to discover than we were incompatible, but one is more likely to waste time describing exactly what one wants to do, only to learn that he wasn't available to begin with.

 

If I am really interested in a particular escort and he doesn't answer an email inquiry, I phone him; if the phone number is no longer active, or he doesn't respond to a phone message, I figure that he is not in business anymore.

[Steven_Draker]

Each escort has to deal in the everyday with a certain number of inquiries and decide which one is genuine and which one fake.

 

>Basically in my emails I let the escort know who I am, in what

>city I live, that I’m pretty vanilla, and I ask them to let me

>know if they are still working so that we can discuss details

>in further emails or over the phone.

 

I'd write with a specific date/time for a meeting and the question "are you available then ?"

 

>I try to be brief – much briefer than this post!

 

Being brief and concise is a good point. Too many details tend to carry away.

 

Personally, I try to return every email, even those like "Steven, when are you coming to Wichita ?" Unfortunately some inquiries will automatically end up in my bulk folder and I won't be able to read/answer them, so a follow-up phone call would be a good solution.

 

When I travel with a client for an extended period and I'm unable to return email promptly I set up an automatic reply from my Yahoo account stating that I'm on the road and the reply could take more time than usual. Also about 2-3 times a year I take a vacation "just for myself" and I turn off my cell phone and laptop for a week or so.

 

And finally to book an appointment I require a contact number in case of a last minute problem. I'm sure that I'll never accept in the future to set up a meeting with someone who is calling me from a blocked number or unable to provide a valid contact number.

 

Good luck with your future endeavors, Isaac.

 

Steven Draker ~

http://www.HotSexyStud.com/uk

[JT Brooklyn]

I do Applaud everyones Patience. But Personally If I haven't received an answer to my simple Questions after stating, I am a Vanilla Type Guy,YaDa-YaDa..after 48 Hrs or If I get a "Call Me" with No ANSWERS to my Basic Questions..I Move On.Of course it's not hard to do, there is alot to move on to in NYC! LOL :+

[BradBoyd]

Good posts, guys!

 

I really try to respond to everyone I can, but I have to admit I sometimes get flooded with emails and phone calls and don't get a response to everyone. Also, some guys aren't very ethical and are looking for some thrills from a phone call/email. Here's why a prospective client may not receive an immediate response from me:

 

1) I'M OTHERWISE ENGAGED - If I'm spending time with another client, I will not be focusing on the next client.

 

2) CLARITY - Be clear in what you want, when you want it, and what you're willing to give for it. I realize that some people try to beat around the bush thinking they'll avoid legal problems. The thing is: cops WILL lie to convict even if you only offered money in exchange for time.

 

3) LOCATION - Like was mentioned before, if you're not in my area and you don't make it clear you'd like to cover my expenses to travel to you, I usually will put you on my mailing list for that city and move on. HERE'S A TIP: If you don't have the budget to bring me to your area, a quick email telling me where you live and asking me to email you when I'm there is great! I'll add you to my mailing list for that city. I don't know if other guys do that, but it can't hurt to try.

 

4) PHONE CALLS - Personally, I tend to prefer e-mail for the intial contact. If I haven't responded to your email or if you're looking to meet up sometime in the next 48 hours or so, then by all means call me. However, I'm often in situations that I can't discuss the details of our upcoming encounter. TIP: Don't block your number! If you block your number, I'm less likely to answer. Really, what's the advantage of blocking your number (unless you're prank calling me)? I have this number on my caller ID...what am I going to do...call it and spill all your secrets to whoever answers?

 

5) BREVITY - Most of us boys are always on the run. We respect your time; please respect ours.

 

6) INCLUDE DESCRIPTION/PICTURES - Depending on your comfort level, include at least a description and pictures if you can. It helps to associate you with a person then (rather than another email jetting to us out of no where!). REMEMBER: Most escorts will not judge you on your appearance...it's just nice to know who we're talking with!

 

7) ON VACATION - Remember, we take vacations too (and have other obligations like family, school, community involvement, etc.) It's an honor to be of service to you guys, but to be at our peak we have to take some time out once in a while. When I'm on vacation, the calls go unanswered, the emails aren't checked, and the green army bag with my rubbers and lube and stuff is in the closet.

 

____________________________________

~Brad Boyd

 

Web Site: http://www.men4rentnow.com/ds/search.asp?cmd=view&id=137559

Reviews: http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/brad_desmoines.html

 

E-Mail: JockBoy9@hotmail.com

[noviceny]

Humboldt,

 

brother I hear ya !!! I think that it might just be the nature of things and also email life. Sometimes people dont get emails and sending emails through a site can be even more difficult as they can be lost and not forwarded.

 

Here is my general mailing :

 

Hi --------,

 

My name is Jay and I am 35 yrs old. I was very intrerested in your ad/review and would like to seriously/sincerely inquire about your services.

 

I like/would be looking for a guy who blahblahblah . If this is your kind of scene, let me know. Thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

 

Jay

 

 

 

Now my response has more often than not, NOT included any kind of answer to my questions and would repeat what was said in their ad.

However some guys are really good : Steve Draker, Rick and Derek and a few other guys gave excellent answers that let me know what was up and helped me make a decision within 5 minutes of reading the email.

 

Hang in there and try to have a bit of fun with the "no replies" I kinda look at it like its part of the chase...sometimes the journey can be just as fun as the event itself

[augustman]

Dear Issac:

I guess I should consider myself lucky. I would say my response rate is about 85%. First consider the site you are reviewing for hookups. I have found Hooboy, Men4rent and rentboy good sites. Many sites list the date the escort last entered or updated data, anything more than 6 months is a big question on active or not. Each sites have a quirk about active escorts vs non-active. When I first started hiring I picked a city on HooBoy and went down the list. However I have learned only go after guys with reviews a year to 18 months at most old. I prefer escorts who accept e-mails so I usually avoid ones that say call only. I do that because I feel most comfortable explaining what I want in written format as opposed to explaining everything on the phone. Also I make sure the escort understands my interests before considering going through with the appointment. Gives the escort something hopefully to refer back to before we get together.

 

I usually wait a good week and then follow up with a shorter e-mail. I would say of the 30% who did not reply the first time, I usually get a reply. I do not think I have the patience to keep trying up to 15 times. But it depends on horny you are and how much you want the guy.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

The Greatest Hits

 

There is a long thread from 2001 or 2002 which is similar to this one, from a time frame where there were many more escorts who were posting on the site and who were answering questions such as this.

 

As I have suggested several times before, it would be a great idea to collect so many of the basic, "newbie" questions, including the comments and opinions of the clients, from the ASK THE ESCORT forum and either collect them as an on-line book, an actual book (merchandising, anyone?) and as a resource. In the past, prior to Hoo Boy's death and before some of the upgrades, it was easy to find a link to these threads and merely post them for others, but that (easily searching) is not really possible any longer.

 

That is not to say that there is a benefit to these questions being asked (and answered again). Some of the escorts NOW posting were not posting THEN and they could have a new approach or new perspective. Likewise, a client may have a similar, although not necessarily identical question or problem. Finally, of course, some of the newbie clients would still need to be pointed to this reference material.

[buckguy]

I usually leave this particular board to the escorts but let me jump in....

 

Franco is right alot have been mentioned before, still...

 

1.) You mention trying to contact escorts in Atlanta & DC; these are two of the worst places in the country for finding competent, reliable escorts. I don't want to hear how wonderful Tony Cummings, etc. are. Both cities suck. I live in Atlanta, make frequent trips to DC and next year I will move there. Both cities are "the pits" for customer service, in general.

 

2.) Even reliable escorts have times where they don't respond. On another thread someone noted that Tony Cummings (a reliable escort) didn't respond. Maybe your email got deleted with the spam (we've all done this). If you don't hear anything in a few days later, then send a repeat of your email---about 1/3 of the time this works for me. If time is of the essence, make a phone call instead. If they aren't taking clients right now, many escorts won't respond. I think the rationale is not to get caught up corresponding with someone you're not able to see, often, at a time where you don't have a lot of interest/opportunity to respond to emails, etc. (e.g., on vacation). It seems crass, but I don't check phone messages when I'm on vacation either and I don't always answer emails promptly if I have other priorities.

 

3.) Competent established escorts will want a little back & forth on the phone or email to some indication that you're "ok" and that you want what they usually provide. My initial email request is usually something along the lines of "I saw your ad... I will be in X city Oct 1-3 and would be interested setting up an appointment. The best time for me is the 2nd around 8 or 9, although the evening of the 3rd can work, too. Please let me know if this is possible and let me know what you need from me." In the message line I always put "Possible escort appointment".

 

I used to include more info (age, sexual position, etc.) but I found that escorts either didn't care or wanted to talk about specifics (like/dislikes) after establishing whther an appointment was even feasible. When possible, I try to show the escort some flexibility in terms of time--simple courtesy and it lest him know I'm not a control freak. At the same time, I'm letting him know that I'm serious enough to come up with a commitment of my time.

 

3.) Escort vary in ways that they never bother to advertise. Some prefer phone calls, others prefer email. Some want long appointments, others prefer 1-2 hours. Some advertise incalls, but really would rather not do them.....there's a lot you can't know. Information and suggestions from this site can help fill some of these gaps. But sometimes, the planets are out of alignment and there are no escorts answering their email. And that's what you have to live with.

[sashek]

RE: The Greatest Hits

 

Interesting idea, Franco - I'm a book publisher. Why not email me with your ideas about this sometime? Ciao!

Sashek

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Escorts Say They Darndest Things

 

>Interesting idea, Franco - I'm a book publisher. Why not

>email me with your ideas about this sometime?

 

It is a discussion Daddy should have with you. In my opinion, any such book should be done with the royalties going to a charity that would have meet with the Hoo Boy stamp of approval, since the "authors" would have been any number of clients and escorts/posters of this site. The credit should also go to the vast audience of this forum, for providing both the audience and the questions.

 

Hoo Boy and I had an e-mail exchange on this very topic and another forum suggestion I once made, for an ASK THE CLIENT forum, since some of those questions also get asked by newbies or other clients of clients on this site, for advise on any number of matters (predominantly financial, if memory serves), most of which end up on the DELI. Hoo Boy thought it was a great idea in 2003 but obviously, never got around to it, or it was not a great idea to put on the top of his to-do list.

 

You would also need Daddy's assistance in such a project to collect the matieral, as well as the fact that, while it would be difficult to enforce a claim or artist moral rights, even potentially to a collective contribution, copyright of a discussion forum, I believe this forum is still considered part of the main site sufficient to fall under the copyright of Male 4 Male Escort Reviews.

[BradBoyd]

RE: The Greatest Hits

 

Great idea! To at least get the ball rolling, why don't we just start a thread here on the forums with links to the best newbie postings and threads?

 

With that, I give you:

 

http://babydb.male4malescorts.com/m4mdc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=5&topic_id=11922&mesg_id=11922&page=

 

____________________________________

~Brad Boyd

 

Web Site: http://www.men4rentnow.com/ds/search.asp?cmd=view&id=137559

Reviews: http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/brad_desmoines.html

 

E-Mail: JockBoy9@hotmail.com