When to say "Thanks, but no thanks"

[orlandoguy]

I recently contacted a local escort who did not have a picture on-line. We chatted, hit it off via email, and set up a date. In written descriptions, he sounded great. However, when I arrived at his door, and he opened it -- he was not physically the person I wanted or really expected. He had not really misled me on the stats, (6 ft.; 180 lbs.). But in person, he appeared much heavier than what I had envisioned that size to be. Facially, he was not someone I desired. Should I have ended the session at that point?

 

He was friendly, and we related...just not in a sexual way for me. I started to pay him about 25% and leave, but it had been such an effort for me to get to his place, I decided to go through with it. I did, and for me, it was just going through the motions, even though both of us got off.

 

I'll not see this guy again for sex. I know he was hoping I would be a regular, so should I go ahead and tell him I'm no longer interested or just drop it cold?

 

Curious about how escorts feel about this kind of situation from their perspective.....

 

OrlandoConfidante

In sunny Florida ;-)

[mansniffing]

Since you aren't interested in a repeat, don't you think it's pointless to call him again? Let it go. Chalk it up to experience. You have no idea what went on in his head—and you don't want to know.

[ErikMcAlister]

>I recently contacted a local escort who did not have a

>picture on-line.

 

You should have said it right here. :-)

 

>when I arrived at his door, and he opened it -- he was not

>physically the person I wanted or really expected.

 

Another good time to decline.

 

>Facially, he was not someone I desired.

>Should I have ended the session at that point?

 

Yes

 

>I started to pay him about 25% and leave, but it had been

>such an effort for me to get to his place, I decided to go

>through with it. I did, and for me, it was just going through

>the motions, even though both of us got off.

 

You chose to stay, knowing that the full fee would be expected.

 

>I'll not see this guy again for sex. I know he was hoping I

>would be a regular, so should I go ahead and tell him I'm no

>longer interested or just drop it cold?

 

Just don't contact him. If he contacts you, tell him.

[Prime Muscle]

I realize that there’s always the chance that a new client might not like me once we meet. I always let new clients know that there is no obligation if that’s the case.

[Guest jeffOH]

>>so should I go ahead and tell him I'm no longer interested or just drop it cold?

 

Drop it cold!

[Guest skrubber]

I had a similar experience once upon meeting a guy on AOL. He told me on the phone he required the money to be laying on the table, he would drop his keys and we would echange. When I opened the door I found the picture he sent was not at all accurate but he had the money in his pocket immediately so I decided to go through with it. Just went through the motions, not enjoyable at all. Learned my lesson - no bullshit agreements like that.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Curiouser and Curiouser

 

>I'll not see this guy again for sex. I know he was hoping I

>would be a regular, so should I go ahead and tell him I'm no

>longer interested or just drop it cold?

 

If he contacts you with a simple thank you, it is not necessary to acknowledge it or respond. However, if he inquires if you would like to set up another appointment or offers some sort of arrangement, then simple courtesy would suggest that something alone the lines of "I am making other arrangements" is called for: you need not say he was discribed inaccurately, he is unattractive to you or even the ever-popular 'there was no chemistry.' Otherwise, you need not respond or otherwise do anything else.

 

>Curious about how escorts feel about this kind of situation

>from their perspective.....

 

Honesty is always preferred. No client has ever cancelled an appointment immediately after meeting me and I would like to think I have a good sense of people to know if the session did not go well. On a few occassions clients have indicated that they wanted more than we got around to, but I generally have always offered to accommodate their needs in one way or another. Rarely have I ever heard well after the fact to the contrary and this only happened once because the client did not say anything until several years (and a great deal of intervening geography) took place.

 

If you expected something during a session (i.e., that the escort get or maintain an erection, that you get topped or that the escort get topped, that the escort be able to maintain a personable and interesting conversation over dinner) or some other reasonable request make sure you make it in advance of your session so the expectations be clearly laid out (including appearances and other information important to both parties for a good session) and communicate as much as possible.

[HotdadENYC]

RE: Curiouser and Curiouser

 

I don't agree with this advice. IF the escort contacts you again, then tell him the truth. Be kind, but be clear. He wasn't what you wanted or expected and you misread the description. I don't think its wise to make up an excuse. Escorts need the feedback.

 

I'm not suggesting that your escort was malicous in any way, but there have been escorts who misrepresented themselves and then relied on the good nature of clients like you who went through with it anyway. Your honest and open disclosure (actually, your abject refusal to go forward when you met him) help nip this kind of shit in the bud.

 

In my opinion, though, any meeting without a pic and any discussion about being a regular until the deed is done are both bad news.

 

hd NYC

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

The Rain In Spain

 

>I don't agree with this advice.

 

Your advice is essentially a restatement of what I said. Except I attempted to be mroe precise.

 

This is part of the problem with this site. There is no ONE SIZE FITS ALL ANSWER.

 

>IF the escort contacts you

>again, then tell him the truth. Be kind, but be clear. He

>wasn't what you wanted or expected and you misread the

>description. I don't think its wise to make up an excuse.

>Escorts need the feedback.

 

The escort is not asking for feedback. He is trying to make money by scheduling another appointment. Responding that the client has made other arrangements IS truthfull.

 

In the escort/client relationship, clients often comment about chemistry, and it is particularly interesting and telling when the clients mention that in their second or third meeting with Escort X, the chemistry was not the same. This is one of the reasons why I always think reviewers should wait until a second or third meeting before writing a review, but they do not.

 

There is never any harm, as you yourself suggest, in being kind but clear.

 

>I'm not suggesting that your escort was malicous in any way,

>but there have been escorts who misrepresented themselves and

>then relied on the good nature of clients like you who went

>through with it anyway.

 

I have always and repeatedly said that escorts should provide recent AND realistic photographs of themselves. There are any number of escorts, including well known and well reviewed ones, who are using photographs on this site which are as old as my first review. A number of escorts update their photographs as often as Hoo Boy used to let us, which was every months. A number of them also update their website, but not all do. There is never a good excuse for anyone to misrepresent themselves in any service related profession, from a secretary who does not type 55 wpm to a 27 year old stating they are 19.

[Vincent_Michael]

Yes end it right away why would I ask you to continue on if you are uncomfterable? I would rather you tell me VM I am not feeling the connection here or something is not right…I would totally understand and would wish you the best. That way I wouldn’t have someone who was unhappy for something I knew about or I didn’t know about.

[HotdadENYC]

RE: Curiouser and Curiouser

 

> However, if he

>inquires if you would like to set up another appointment or

>offers some sort of arrangement, then simple courtesy would

>suggest that something alone the lines of "I am making other

>arrangements" is called for: you need not say he was discribed

>inaccurately, he is unattractive to you or even the

>ever-popular 'there was no chemistry.' Otherwise, you need not

>respond or otherwise do anything else.

>

 

This was the part I was responding to when I said I disagreed. Doesn't appear to be similar to what I was saying, but maybe I misread the intent of your original response.

 

In any event, no meeting without a pic and phone call, and no going through with an appointment if its not what the client expected. If a client feels uncomfortable telling the escort about this at the time of the meeting, then a followup e-mail is a good idea. And a review is ALWAYS recommended.

 

Happy hunting !

 

hd NYC

[Bilbo]

I'm confused. What table? Outside the door to the apartment? How was the exchange done, through the mail slot?

[BewareofNick]

Here's an idea:

 

When you saw him, and he wasn't what you were looking for, just look at him in confusion and say, Um, is Marcia here? That ought to let you out of it really quickly.

 

I did something similar once with an escort who showed up at my motel room. He looked nothing like his online pics, so when he asked me if iw as Neal, I simply said no. I got a nasty e-mail alter asking why I gave him the wrong hotel information, but it saved me from wasting money.

[Guest]

>I had a similar experience once upon meeting a guy on AOL. He

>told me on the phone he required the money to be laying on the

>table

Do not leave money on the table before you meet him. I even find it iffy to do before having sex, but why would one leave money before even assessing if the pictures were accurate?