First-timers

[Guest amigomonty]

From my exploration into this and other quality sites, I can be be considered "bi-curious". As a married man, 3 children and in my forties, I am trying to find the courage to explore things outside my current sexual realm. Do some escorts cater to first-timers? Can discretion be assured. Other suggestions? Seattle or Boston or L.A have potentials for location.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Mutually Assured Discretion

 

A number of escorts use certain words in their advertisements. Discrete is a common one. I suspect some are on the same wave length as you but I think you need to be a little more specific. I have been hired by a number of bisexual men, including married men, who were visiting Los Angeles. This is not their home town, so their expectation of privacy was likely greater and possibility of any public exposure highly diminished. Some of these clients advised me that due to such reasons (one was the equivalent of a city council member in his hometown, one worked for a professional sports team, etc.), they only contemplated hiring while out of town.

 

If by discrete, you mean what some men use the term for on cruise sites (i.e., they want the guys they cruise to be low key, masculine, not overtly "gay" as opposed to flamboyant or effeminate), you need to be a little more specific in making your arrangements.

 

If your concern is whether you might run into the escort in public, most escorts can assure you discretion and respect for both your personal space and privacy in such situations but you should simply make it clear that this is imperative, again when you set up any meetings.

 

As for escorts and first time clients as well as men who are inexperienced with intimacy among men, some escorts will also indicate in their advertising that they welcome "first timers." In your case, you will be both new to escorting and new to intimacy with a man, so you have some important requirements. Your best bet is to find a number of escorts based on their physical appeal to you in the geographic locations which are convenient for you. You also need to have a sense of what your limits are or may be so that you can express this when or after initial contact is made.

 

Clients here will advise you to give greater consideration to those escorts with reviews and the reviews can also give you a sense with how many clients may have been men in similar circumstances such as you.

 

Once you initiate contact, you will be able to gauge your sense of comfort with your escort, based on their responses. Ask plenty of questions and make sure you are satisfied with the answers. If possible, I would follow up this up with a phone conversation, with the most promising candidate, just to be sure. I think you definitely need to go slowly and make sure you are very comfortable or you may find yourself with a less than ideal memory of your first time.

 

Good luck!

[Rick Munroe]

RE: Mutually Assured Discretion

 

>A number of escorts use certain words in their

>advertisements. Discrete is a common one.

 

Do they spell it that way on purpose (since the word they want is "discreet")?

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Modern Day Word Problems

 

I was thinking of the adjective based on the Latin, discretus, but yes, as you should know Rick, it is a word, which while not always spelled for its correct use, appears commonly in any number of places, including classified advertisements and AOL profiles.

 

I am sure my precise meaning was clear enough, no?

[seaboy4hire]

RE: Modern Day Word Problems

 

I always remain discreet not only for the clients benifit but for mine also since not everyone needs to know what I do on the side. There have been times where I have ran into clients out and about. I figure that if they approach me then it's ok to chat them up. But I always wait for them to make the first move. One never knows if a wife, boyfriend, friend or what have you might be around. My passwords for emails and to retrieve voice mails are so odd that no one could figure them out so that is another way I try very hard to protect those that I see.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ Lucky]

Since amigomonty points out that he has a wife and three children, the consequences of any decision he makes here have an added dimension. I don't think we should encourage him to rush out here and have sex with an escort without considering these added consequences and responsibilities. I would suggest that he get counseling from a professional before he makes any decision.

[Guest amigomonty]

RE: Modern Day Word Problems

 

thanks for your careful responses!

[Guest amigomonty]

very valid point, thanks for pointing out something that should be a first move

[Guest soccerstud]

Amigomonty--Been exactly where you are--for me it was about 4 years ago. Felt I had to acknowledge who I was after many years (I'm a bit older than you). Found 2 escorts that were unbelievably caring and helped me through a lot. You are about to start on a challening, very possibly rewarding time of your life. (By the way, 1 or 2 years ago there were several very good threads in the Lounge/Message Center about all sorts of issues with married men discovering their gay side with all sorts of results. Really good, helpful discussions. Perhaps you can find them in the archives.) After experimenting with gay sex for the first time for about 6 months, going to see a therapist, and really struggling within myself, I came out to my family. They were/are wonderful, but certainly people have had different results.

 

As to escorts in LA--I strongly recommend Rod Hagen. Caring, smart, very discreet, no "attidue," great with first timers--and sexy as hell.

 

Good luck. As questions/situations arise, use the resources on the Message Center. There are a lot of good people who have been through much of the same. Let us know how you're doing.

[NewComer]

You are about to embark on one of the best/worst decisions you have ever made. I made the decision as a married man to begin experimenting with this "other" side of my sexuality and, although, the sex was great, my head went on a real trip. Had I not been with a true "pro" at the time, I would have been in trouble emotionally. That "pro" was Rick Munroe - he was there for me emotionally at the time and stayed in contact as I panicked (sp?) days later. Be aware of this and don't set yourself up with someone that cannot commit to the important step they are about to take with you - I agree that a therapist would be wise to have in place - always someone that can be a good ear for listening. Good luck and have fun!

[gregkidman]

Amigomonty,

 

A good introduction to gay sex without getting heavy, is to get an erotic massage -- you can touch his body as he massages you. If you like it, it could graduate in you blowing his nice dick and he may reciprocate. It really depends on the masseur that you get. If you don't like the mutual touch or it is going too fast, then just lie back and enjoy the massage. You don't want to go too fast or too heavy. You may get turned off and not want to try again (once bitten, twice shy).

 

In Seattle, I highly recommend David in Seattle. Here are his links:

 

http://www.davidinseattle.com

http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/davidseattle.html

 

Cheers,

Greg

[Guest EWC]

RE: First-timers - Try Massage

 

I heartily concur with the erotic massage suggestion. You might want to review the massage site Massage M4M (/www.massagem4m.com)to see if you can find someone very much to your taste. In LA, Josh - Big Texan usually gets great reviews, gives a massage in the nude and is quite comfortable with you handling his body and splendid equipment, Dougles is a professional piano player in another life and has hands that are amazing. Also comfortable with giving an erotic massage. Inasmuch as he is an escort in yet another life he's comfortable with taking you anywhere you want to go. Go through the web-site and I'm sure you will find someone who will turn you on and go as far as you want to. BTW, many of these guys (including some of the best)list themselves as legitimate, or words to that effect. If they don't include comments like sensual, erotic or tantric then they most likely will remain mostly clad during the massage and are pretty limited as whether they will fondle your genitals, etc.

[+ Lucky]

RE: First-timers - Try Massage

 

Thanks for the link. i have never been to that site. I will be busy for the next few days reading Joey Greco's sixty-seven reviews...

[Guest ncm2169]

Amigo, good luck to you. :o

 

One word of caution: I "met" another married client (with two young kids) online via this site, and we were corresponding frequently about our first encounters with escorts, when he suddenly emailed me one day and told me that he would no longer be corresponding with me - he'd left a draft post for this site open on his computer desktop which his wife happened to read - you can guess the rest.

 

Be careful.:*

 

P.S. You may get some replies from guys lecturing you about cheating on your wife, etc. IMHO, it's your life and your decision. I'm sure you'll do your best.

[Guest BIRROTCH]

RE: First-timers.. is there a chance?

 

>Amigomonty,

>

>A good introduction to gay sex without getting heavy, is to

>get an erotic massage -- you can touch his body as he massages

>you. If you like it, it could graduate in you blowing his

>nice dick and he may reciprocate. It really depends on the

>masseur that you get. If you don't like the mutual touch or

>it is going too fast, then just lie back and enjoy the

>massage. You don't want to go too fast or too heavy. You may

>get turned off and not want to try again (once bitten, twice

>shy).

>

Howdy, Greg, et al. I'm considering getting into the trade, and the massage area (erotic) sounds like a good starting point. I'm already certified, and already get naked with most of the clients I have in that realm. Have done the blowing on the dick, and light touch before.. but only with people I knew and that I had that type of arrangement with (like my ex-bf of 9 years) Can be quite the conversationalist-- have quite the gambit of subjects I am somewhat knowledgeable

But am adverse to anal-- at least as a start.

and getting a late start--- I just turned 40.. Does that count against me? I'm still have an athletic body, and get compliments on it from a lot of people-- also have a bubble butt that isn't flabby (run a lot).

 

Appreciate your feedback.. thanks for the idea, Greg and others.

 

DAN

:-( :-(