friends

[axebahia]

>You

>wrote things like "We had a discussion about this for several

>months" and things like that, but the context you kept

>providing was that "you don't pay for companionship," not that

>you don't pay for sex after an escort has become a friend. My

>interpretation of "I don't pay for companionship" is that you

>don't pay just to hang out with someone; it doesn't mean that

>you don't pay for sex with an escort just because he has

>become a "companion" in other ways.

 

That's your interpretation and we seem to be going in circles. But I want to reiterate my central point. With the imported escort, if 6 months of discussions about a topic, are not enough to satisfy you about the terms of the deal, you and I are just plainly in different market segments. I could understand your position if those clear discussions had not taken place. Yes, the imported escort is not the same as the former escort with whom I now have a friendship plus sex without cash. The tie between the two is that I mentioned the latter to the former when our discussions about this began six months ago.

[Guest ohioguy13]

I have to admit I have not read all the postings to this thread...but I still want to add my 2 cents worth.

I have had the wonderful oportunity over the years to become friends with a number of escorts. I pride myself on being honest with them and upfront. I have not seen one escort for almost two years (and it is killing me btw...<g>) but we talk at least monthly. Another calls me...just to check in... I have had another send me videos he thought I would enjoy. You can kind of get the picture. I have refered other escorts to each other and they have hit it off and spent time together. These few hot men... and they are all HOT MEN, have talked about family, friends, the business, and many other numerous things. One even called me for advice about having his pic posted on the internet....and luckily I was with him the day the pic got posted...he was overwhelmed with the emails he got!! ( Iwarned him he would).

ANyway, I think you CAN become friends with escorts... it all depends on what YOU are like...

It is a two way street

Mike in Ohio

[uwsider]

If I might alter your statement to say "it's what BOTH parties are like."

[jackhammer91406]

I have avoided this thread like the plague because it is a painful subject for me. But today, for some reason, I feel it's time to put in my two cents worth.

This is a painful subject because my only gay relationship (over 18 years ago) was with a guy who walked into my str8 life and things changed forever for me. I know there will be some who say, well if you fell for a guy , then you weren't str8. Think what you want. I know what I am and was. Anyway, he came on pretty strong and I began to buckle under the constant attention and tenderness. Pretty soon, he was in my bed and I in his on alternate nights. Looking back, I know it was the conquest of the str8 guy that interested him. After about 14-16 months, i could feel him pulling away and nothing I did could stop it. I tried everything because after all, I had fallen hard and had told all of my friends "well, I guess I must be gay because I really love this guy". As time wore on, he began to drop subtle hints like "I miss my old job"...and " I wish I had the money I used to make"...

I think you can probably tell where this is going. After a few weeks of hearing him make these kinds of statements, I told him if he missed his old job, then go get it back, and by the way, what job was it? He replied with a smile that cut deep, "I was a male prostitute".

(I would have preferred the word escort, knowing what I know now, but the that was how he put it). obviously he was trying to shock and put some finality to the relationship. Well, in my heart, while his words were killing me, the thought of him leaving was worse, so I simply rationalized that if he came home to me, it was cool if someone else fucked him. That didn't work, he left anyway and it was ugly. i shut down emotionally, and mentally. It took some months for me to get a grip back on at least going through the motions of living again. I had no real gay friends that weren't his friends also, so after a few months of wanton casual sex I just shut down sexually as well. It wasn't until this past year that I started having sex again by hiring escorts (there is an irony there that my therapist has a field day with, but I sure don't get it). Sing me no sad songs, I made up for it in NYC.

So what is the point I have to add? I am one of those that wishes a friendship could develop and therefore hiring carries real risks for me. But I am afraid that except in very unique circumstances, it probably doesn't happen and this transaction that occurs between escort and client is JUST that. Doesn't mean you can't have back and forth communication with some that you have an affinity for, but don't get father in than that. You are a customer to them first and foremost and the rest is either marketing, or rationalization.

Would love for any of those handsome men to prove me wrong BTW.

 

 

[sashek]

Hi Guys,

I'm fairly new to this site, so please excuse me if this question seems naive, or if it's been asked before. I've been reading the "escort reviews" and have noticed that many of the clients state that the escort is now one of their best friends. I'm curious - does real friendship between escorts and clients ever happen, or is this just another version of the "Pretty Woman" syndrome, where the client fantasizes that there is more to the "relationship" - either love, or in this case, friendship? I can understand that, especially with repeat visits, a mutual respect and familiarity can develop ... but how often will an escort call up a client to, say, go to a movie or out for coffee? And if a friendship does develop, does the commercial side of things stop? Thanks for your insights.

Sashek

[chrismac]

This is a great thread Sashek, and although it's been discussed before in several different forms, we never seem to tire of it - and I'm pleased for myself to see that even with the heavy emotions involved, there have been lots of positive and affirming posts on this subject.

 

As for me, of the many escorts I've hired, only 3 have been matches in personality, interests, values, etc to be potential friends. Coincidentally, these 3 are the escorts I've gone back to multiple times. Even so, I can't say that a friendship has really developed with any of them. Of the three, I know the real names of two of them. Of these two, the one who could probably be a real friend, who is the most compassionate and open, lives 3 time zones away. So in order to develop a friendship with him, it would take a lot of money, and I'd have to question my own motives for doing so.

 

It would be nice if friendships really developed, but difficult if the two people are geographically distant, not to mention all the other complications with sex/money in an initially transactional relationship. At one time, when I had no other gay friends, I really did look to escorts in the hopes of developing friendships (although I didn't realize that's what I was doing at the time). Now I'm in a better place socially with gay friends, and have a boyfriend, so the whole picture has changed.

 

I'd like to think if any of these three special guys were to call me in need of help that I could provide, that I'd do it readily - and that they'd feel perfectly comfortable asking me. But I no longer hope I could be able to receive the same from them.

 

I admit that's a more peaceful feeling for me.