Escorts "real names" and" Stalkers"

[Guest CJ]

Why don't some escorts want to share their "real names"

 

Its pretty simple really......stalkers

 

Lately I have been asked for my "real name" and I am somewhat disturbed by this trend....in this business the majority of people are well balanced and really great people ...however there are those that suffer from illnesses which make them very destructive and they end up hurting a lot of people including themselves..by becoming "stalker"

 

On a recent trip where I had denied someone my full name he went through the garbage to recover my baggage tag with my name on it.

 

WHY? I am not sure, a junior hardy boys detective?

 

WHAT DID I FEEL? Stupid for not destroying the info and distrustful and not respected by my client. Have seen this type of obsessive behaviour once before!!

 

WHAT DID I DO? What I was there for;and with enthusiasm and passion

 

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT...sorry can't see you anymore

 

MY LOSS? not at all !!!! no amount of money,or shopping will correct the lack of repect this person exhibited. The potential for a problem is too great...to risk seeing this person again.There were other indictors of trouble to come.

 

Clients: please respect your escorts desire and need for some privacy and a life outside of the biz

 

Escorts: watch the baggage tags boys and guard your personal information... like I said earlier most here are really great people but there are dangerous and destuctive stalkers and you don't need one.

 

Am I paranoid? A little maybe, had a stalker once and it was scarry and nasty. I do not want that problem again and I am committed to being aware of behaviours that indicate this potential problem.

later<smile>

 

CJ

[Guest Bitchboy]

Not paranoid at all. Just being sanely cautious. I mean, I doubt if any of these handles, clients or escorts or in-betweens, are our "real" names. Mommy didn't name her baby bitchboy (that was my first husband).

 

BTW, you don't have to be an escort to be stalked. I have had some opinions others haven't liked. I've gotten an email from a poster elsewhere that someone is trying to get my name and address to "educate" me.

[marc anthony]

CJ: Definitely NOT a good thing. Total invasion of privacy. Quite a few escorts actually end up giving me their real name, and a few have mine... both situations purely voluntary.

 

If either party finds the need to sift through garbage to discover information that the other has declined to give....

 

Red Flag. Big Time. Stay away!

 

x(

[Chuck50]

2 of my favorites know mine and I theres. It is all about trust we have to feel comfortable with each other. hUGS Chuck

[Boston Guy]

RE: Escorts

 

I find it confusing and just plain odd to get to know someone by one name and then find out later that their name is really something completely different.

 

If I engage someone for an hour, any old name will do. But if the relationship is going to be an extended one (for example, a trip together) or if it's developing into a regular thing, then I expect to learn the person's real name. In these cases, I almost always offer my name first, usually on the phone when I say "Hi, It's... calling."

 

If, after getting to know me, someone doesn't want to trust me with their real name, then I don't care to continue being intimate with that person. There's simply no room in my life for someone who will go to bed with me repeatedly and presumably passionately but won't tell me their name.

 

On the other hand, learning someone's name involves a trust that shouldn't be broken. It simply shouldn't. I would never divulge personal details given to me by an escort without his permission. And that includes his name.

 

There is a masseur in LA who I started hiring about three years ago. I saw this guy pretty regularly -- more than twice per month for about fifteen months. He got to know my name and cell number within the first month or two.

 

He was an excellent masseur and I enjoyed seeing him. We both learned quite a bit about the other's life. After a while I asked him if the name he went by was really his name. He assured me that, yes, that was his real first name. Then, one day, I was talking about masseurs to an escort I had hired. I mentioned that I liked this guy and thought he was an excellent masseur. The escort said "Oh, you mean... He taught me a lot when I first started working."

 

That's when I learned that the name he had assured me was his real one was, in fact, not his name.

 

I never hired him again.

 

BG

[Bilbo]

RE: Escorts

 

BG - I see a loophole here. If, as you say, he told you that that was his real "first name", there is a possibility that it was and that he doesn't use it with anyone but clients. For example, C. Douglas Twerp, might be known to his friends as Doug and to his clients as Chad.

[Guest DevonSFescort]

RE: Escorts

 

>I find it confusing and just plain odd to get to know

>someone by one name and then find out later that their name

>is really something completely different.

 

Then why not just call him by the name he asked you to call him in the first place? It seems to me that by demanding to know his "real" name, you're the one creating the confusion.

 

>

>If I engage someone for an hour, any old name will do. But

>if the relationship is going to be an extended one (for

>example, a trip together) or if it's developing into a

>regular thing, then I expect to learn the person's real

>name. In these cases, I almost always offer my name first,

>usually on the phone when I say "Hi, It's... calling."

>

>If, after getting to know me, someone doesn't want to trust

>me with their real name, then I don't care to continue being

>intimate with that person. There's simply no room in my

>life for someone who will go to bed with me repeatedly and

>presumably passionately but won't tell me their name.

 

Frankly, I'm surprised to hear that, coming from someone who has contributed some of the most painstakingly reasoned posts on this message board as to why clients should be clear about what they're hiring their escorts for. It seems to me that, apart from idle curiosity, there are only two reasons for a client to want to know an escort's "real" name: so that he can do something with that information (usually inappropriate, but there are exceptions), or so that he can assure himself that he falls into some special class of client, as if he needs the real name in order to prove something to himself about the unique nature of the relationship. (Unless you actually think it's a good idea for escorts to go giving their "real" names out willy-nilly, which, judging from what you say below, it doesn't sound like you do believe.)

 

Out of curiosity, what do you believe constitutes "getting to know you" sufficiently? Is it a magic number of dates that has taken place, or a certain number of anecdotes shared? Remember, escorts on this board have shared stories of clients winning their trust by behaving well on MULTIPLE dates, then getting them to let their guard down and do something stupid like let the client tie them up, only to find out, too late, that the client wasn't trustworthy. No, tying someone up is not on a par with knowing the name on his birth certificate, but in either case the escort only need trust the wrong person once for there to be consequences. It is much smarter for an escort simply to request that people respect him enough to call him by the name he prefers to be called rather than to put himself in the position of determining with each and every client whether or not he can/should be trusted with this information.

 

>

>On the other hand, learning someone's name involves a trust

>that shouldn't be broken. It simply shouldn't. I would

>never divulge personal details given to me by an escort

>without his permission. And that includes his name.

 

I'm sure you wouldn't. What bothers me is that by demanding information that you really don't need from him, you are encouraging your escort to develop sloppy habits that could be harmful to his safety and well-being. Remember, I'm not saying YOU'LL betray the escort, or, for that matter, that 95-99% of his clients will, but that that 1-5%, the bad apples, will have a much better chance to do so, because the escort got used to giving out his real name with no bad consequences -- until that ONE time he does that he shouldn't have.

 

>There is a masseur in LA who I started hiring about three

>years ago...Then, one day, I was talking about masseurs to an

>escort I had hired. I mentioned that I liked this guy and

>thought he was an excellent masseur. The escort said "Oh,

>you mean... He taught me a lot when I first started

>working."

 

What an excellent illustration of the fact -- gasp -- not everyone an escort or masseur trusts with his name can, in fact, be trusted, including other escorts. You would not believe -- or maybe you would -- the number of personal things I've heard about some of my colleagues through gossip that clients shared with me in order to demonstrate just how close they were to the escort in question. When we talk about "trust," we're not simply talking about malicious intent; we're talking about things people, because they're human, blurt out that they shouldn't. Escorts are constantly meeting and getting to know new people. Again, it's safer and simpler for an escort to have an across-the-board policy to stick with the name he advertises under than to independently evaluate whether every individual he establishes a regular working relationship with is going to be trustworthy, in every sense of the word, all the time.

 

By the way, the reason I've been putting "real" in quotes is that I don't understand why people give more credence to a name someone else (presumably the escort's parents) chose for him rather than the one he chose for himself. I have never liked the name my parents gave me, and prefer my friends to call me Devon, a name which I do like and which I picked out myself. A few of my old friends, who are used to calling me by my "given" name, are grandfathered in under the old name because it's easier to call people by the name you first got to know them under. But when I introduce myself to anyone new, whether it's a client, an escort, or someone unconnected to the business, I go by Devon. Keeps things simpler. I have one very sweet, longstanding client who insists, despite my repeatedly telling him that I prefer the name Devon, and that most of my friends call me Devon, on calling me by my old name. I really wish he wouldn't -- it makes me feel like I'm talking to my mother -- but oh well. We got together one day at my local coffee shop, where everybody knows me as Devon, and as I was introducing him, he said, "As I always tell _________..." and everybody looked at him like he was from another planet. Which brings me back to my initial question: Why not just respect someone's simple request to call him by the name he asks to be called?

[marc anthony]

RE: Escorts

 

I have to agree with the two escorts who chimed in on this one. Like I mentioned early on in the thread... it is nice to know someone's real name. But it is purely voluntary. Any hint of expectation or obligation makes it eerie!

 

Just think how a client would feel if the escort refused to see him for repeat dates just because he wouldn't give a real name!

 

In the escort/client relationship, knowing either party's real name is a luxury, not a necessity (except of course if you are buying airplane tickets, lol)... and should be treated, considered, viewed, and valued as such.

[Boston Guy]

RE: Escorts

 

Devon,

 

Thanks for such a thoughtful reply.

 

The confusion I referred to has come about any number of times when, after getting together with someone for a few times, they sort of sheepishly say "Well, my name is really ...". For me, it's like I have to get to know them again and build a new identify. I'm completely willing to admit this is all idiosyncratic, but we all view the world through our own eyes and we all bring along our own baggage. I happen to like knowing the first name of the people I'm sleeping with. :-) By the way, in reading your response, I wasn't sure I had been clear that I've never asked to know an escort's last name, unless I needed to make travel arrangements for him.

 

I can understand your position and, since Devon is the name you prefer and the name your "real" identity is built around, that would be the name I would want to know you by. But it's my impression that it's unusual for an escort to use his escort name in "real" life.

 

Why is it important to me to know someone's real name? That's not an easy question to answer. I guess it's tied up in actually getting to know someone and in honesty and trust. I place a high regard on trust and friendship and integrity. In any other context, I wouldn't think of sleeping with someone without knowing their real name -- and probably their real first and last names and probably a lot more about them as well (20 years ago my information standards were a lot lower :-) ).

 

Turning your question about, I think it's fair to ask "Why shouldn't I want to know the real first name of someone I'm about to have sex with or sleep with?" Why should an escort-client relationship be built on such a level of dishonesty that real first names cannot be revealed?

 

When I meet an escort, I know very soon if I'm going to see him again or not (probably within the first 10 minutes). That's based on a lot of things, all of which come down to a gut reaction as to whether I like him or not. I would choose to see an escort I like over one I don't like any day, even if the one I like isn't as attractive as the other. There isn't even any contest there.

 

With guys I like, I treat them like the other people in my life. Life is too short to have different sets of rules for different classes of people. If I like someone, I treat them like a friend. If I don't like them, I don't include them in my life, at least not by choice.

 

With people I like, I'm open about things in my life. Escorts I like quickly learn my name (my FULL name), where I live, my cell number, what I do, why I travel to their city, etc., all in the context of normal conversation. They get to see the "real" me pretty damn quickly. In return, I expect honesty from them. I don't want them telling me fake details about their life. If they choose to tell me something, let it be the truth. If they don't want to share some information with me, then don't tell me.

 

But a name is critical. It's a requirement for even a simple conversation. At some point -- and there is no "magic time" when I suddenly demand to know someone's name -- I would like to know the real first name of the person I'm spending time with. It either happens or it doesn't. And if it doesn't, I will decide sooner or later not to include that person in my life anymore. I don't make a big deal of it and I don't write nasty notes to people explaining that I won't see them again. I just choose not to include them in my life anymore.

 

Thinking this through a little more, as I sit here, I realize that I disagree with one of your points, that there are only two reasons why a client would want to know an escort's real name (to do something with it, possibly something inappropriate; or to assure himself that he falls into some special class of client). Instead, I think there's a third reason and it's the best one and it has to do with honesty in interpersonal relationships.

 

As I've posted here before, I tend to prefer younger guys in their early 20's, who are often just out of college. Most of the guys I meet escort on a very part-time basis, to earn some extra cash. If I like them, I choose to see them repeatedly.

 

Meeting someone hot for the first time is fun and often exciting. Meeting them for the 12th time may still be fun but probably isn't exciting. Instead, it's satisfying for other reasons -- some of which are bound up in getting to know each other. If the person doesn't trust me -- not the generic client; ME, the person they're getting to know, who's standing right in front of them -- enough to share even their real first name, there's a real limit to the getting-to-know-you stuff.

 

I offer information first, critical information, that fully identifies me (not with every escort, by the way, but as I'm getting to know and trust someone). They choose how to respond. If, over time, that response shows they don't trust me, then I will stop trusting them and, at that point, there's simply no more point in getting together.

 

BG

[Boston Guy]

RE: Escorts

 

>I have to agree with the two escorts who chimed in on this

>one. Like I mentioned early on in the thread... it is nice

>to know someone's real name. But it is purely voluntary.

>Any hint of expectation or obligation makes it eerie!

>

>Just think how a client would feel if the escort refused to

>see him for repeat dates just because he wouldn't give a

>real name!

>

 

I always use my real first name. I'm not about to start a relationship with someone on a false note. In fact, as I noted in my response to Devon, guys I see on a regular basis very quickly learn my real full name, along with other info.

 

 

>In the escort/client relationship, knowing either party's

>real name is a luxury, not a necessity (except of course if

>you are buying airplane tickets, lol)... and should be

>treated, considered, viewed, and valued as such.

 

 

I wouldn't agree with the word 'luxury'. As a matter of fact, I think the only reason we put up with the nom de guerre is because of the illegality of the escort transaction. Absent that, I think we'd all expect to know each other's names, escort and client alike.

 

BG

[Boston Guy]

RE: Escorts

 

Sorry, meant "noms de guerre".

 

Or perhaps it would have been better as "noms d'amour?" :-)

 

BG

[AaronScottDC]

RE: Escorts

 

>I find it confusing and just plain odd to get to know

>someone by one name and then find out later that their name

>is really something completely different.

 

This really isn't so odd. Many people have nicknames which they go by, or middle names which they are called other than their "real" birth names. If someone tells me their name is Jack and I later discover that their real name is John but that they prefer to be called Jack anyway, I certainly don't start calling them John just because that is their birth name.

 

I completely understand if you feel an escort is lying to you and you don't feel that you can trust them - that is something completely different. But, if they just want to be called a name that is other than their birth name, that should be totally cool with everyone. Even if you do happen to "discover" their real name somehow.

 

Aaron Scott DC

[marc anthony]

RE: Escorts

 

>

>

>I wouldn't agree with the word 'luxury'. As a matter of

>fact, I think the only reason we put up with the nom de

>guerre is because of the illegality of the escort

>transaction. Absent that, I think we'd all expect to know

>each other's names, escort and client alike.

>

>BG

 

Can't agree. A lot of escorts do this because they need money at this point in their lives. They certainly don't want whatever stigma would be attached to it to bite them in the ass later in life. I don't think it's only the illegality. If a young college boy who hopes to be a successful lawyer someday wants to tell me his name now, that's great. If he doesn't want to, that's fine too. These kids can't really know how trustworthy you are... and certainly how trustworthy you would be if you ever got into some disagreement down the road.

[marc anthony]

RE: Escorts

 

By the way, BG.. it is apparent from your posts on this board that you are an upstanding guy. I don't think you can expect an escort to decide on appropriate behavior only based on what you might do. They have to deal with all kinds of clients... trustworthy or not. I just think that if some escort has decided he is never going to use his real name because he can't tolerate the risk, we as clients should understand that.

[Boston Guy]

RE: Escorts

 

Thanks for the complement! :-)

 

In another context, if I meet someone in some other way, I don't immediately blurt out all of my personal information. I choose how much to share with that person. If I like them and continue to get to know them, I'll share more about myself with them, as I would expect them to share information with me.

 

I think the same holds true for people we meet through the escort/client relationship -- at least it does for me. Turned about, if a young man sees me as the equivalent of an ATM machine that he does not and will not trust, even so much as to be honest about his first name, then I don't care to invest in him, emotionally or financially. And when I say "emotionally", I mean the kind of emotional investment we make in any new person we bring into our lives.

 

As for the escort's future plans, I truly don't see how my knowing that is name is really Scott, not Jake, will compromise his future. ;-)

 

BG

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

RE: Escorts

 

As is often the case with BG much of what he says relects my view although we differ in some respects on this topic.

 

>

>With guys I like, I treat them like the other people in my

>life. Life is too short to have different sets of rules for

>different classes of people. If I like someone, I treat

>them like a friend. If I don't like them, I don't include

>them in my life, at least not by choice.

>

>With people I like, I'm open about things in my life.

>Escorts I like quickly learn my name (my FULL name), where I

>live, my cell number, what I do, why I travel to their city,

>etc., all in the context of normal conversation. They get

>to see the "real" me pretty damn quickly. In return, I

>expect honesty from them. I don't want them telling me fake

>details about their life. If they choose to tell me

>something, let it be the truth. If they don't want to share

>some information with me, then don't tell me.

 

>

>Meeting someone hot for the first time is fun and often

>exciting. Meeting them for the 12th time may still be fun

>but probably isn't exciting. Instead, it's satisfying for

>other reasons -- some of which are bound up in getting to

>know each other.

 

>I offer information first, critical information, that fully

>identifies me (not with every escort, by the way, but as I'm

>getting to know and trust someone). They choose how to

>respond. If, over time, that response shows they don't

>trust me, then I will stop trusting them and, at that point,

>there's simply no more point in getting together.

>

 

Couldn't have said it any better...

 

For me mutual honesty and respect is absolutely paramount to establishing a continuing relationship. While I can't judge those charactersitics based on only one or two meetings they are important for extended 'relationships' to develop. There are a handfull of guys I have come to know quite well over the last two years and in all but one case I have had no occasion to question my judgment about their honesty and their respect for me (as far as I know anyway).

 

We do differ though in that I don't require an escort to give me his real name. (I have no problem giving mine and usually do early on.) I understand the reason for their reluctance and would never press for it just because it could make them uncomfortable. However, those I see more than a few times (and some on the first occasion) freely give their real name whether out of comfort or to make travel and accommodation arrangements.

 

As I think more about this though I think I might begin to question the basis for a continuing relationship if down the road they remained uncomfortable enough with me to maintain that guarded posture. (This has never happened to me.) I wouldn't make an issue of it myself but if I sensed it were an issue then I think it would make me uncomfortable. I understand their concern but I also have to weigh their ulltimate judgment of me. So maybe this is not such a big difference.

[alanalt]

What's in a name?

 

This is an interesting topic, so I MUST offer my own obersvations (of course! ;-) )

 

First of all to CJ, I think your concern was completely justified and that your response was totally cool. I can assure you that if and when we get together, }> , I won't be 'pawing' through your personal belongings...not when there is such a good-looking 'guy' around to 'paw'!;-)

 

Second, to Boston Guy, while I appreciate your viewpoint that names are important to you and betokens a level of trust that is equally important, you should recognize that many (maybe even most) of us don't necessarily feel the same way and, in fact, may not even realize how much this concerns you...

 

On my part, the whole 'name' thing doesn't concern me too much and, let's face it, actors have been using 'stage names' and writers, 'pen names' for a lot longer (and often for the reason that CJ cites). I'm also sure that many embrace their 'public' names just as Devon has. On the other hand, I know another escort who decided not to use his 'real' name because it was already being used by another escort and he didn't want to be known as ______ #2!

 

Personally, I use my first and middle names fairly interchangeably and after a time, I think most (but maybe not all) of my friends know both names and use whichever one they're comfortable with. Part of the issue is that my middle name, Alan, is a 'family' name common to all men in my Dad's side of the family. But my Grandad used Alan (he hated his first name) so it wasn't until several years after he passed away that I 'appropriated' for my own use.;-)

 

I think about one-third of the escorts I have been with have told me their 'real' names. I have never asked them. Now I'm honoured when they tell me and I suppose it's a 'symbol' of a deepening trust but to me, a name is just a word and for trust, actions speak much louder than words everytime

 

Alan

[Boston Guy]

RE: Escorts

 

TY:

 

>

>I don't require an escort to

>give me his real name. (I have no problem giving mine and

>usually do early on.)

 

"Requiring" someone to give their name would be uncomfortable for everyone, as you note below. It's not a question of 'requiring' or 'demanding', but whether the escort chooses to voluntarily say "Oh, by the way, please call me Tony."

 

 

>I understand the reason for their

>reluctance and would never press for it just because it

>could make them uncomfortable. However, those I see more

>than a few times (and some on the first occasion) freely

>give their real name whether out of comfort or to make

>travel and accommodation arrangements.

>

 

Yes, I've found that to be the case more often than not. The whole idea of seeing someone regularly, of course, is to get to know them, at least on some level, and for them to get to know you. Without this kind of growth, the relationship is stagnant and one might as well simply hire a new person each and every time.

 

 

>As I think more about this though I think I might begin to

>question the basis for a continuing relationship if down the

>road they remained uncomfortable enough with me to maintain

>that guarded posture. (This has never happened to me.) I

>wouldn't make an issue of it myself but if I sensed it were

>an issue then I think it would make me uncomfortable. I

>understand their concern but I also have to weigh their

>ulltimate judgment of me. So maybe this is not such a big

>difference.

 

 

:-)

 

BG

[ted]

RE: What's in a name?

 

Of the 4 escorts I've considered regulars over the years I learned the "real" names of all 4 over time; the circumstances were different with each, but they generally involved travel. Most actually used their real first name and an assumed last name which smoothed over the "what do you call them? difficulties. One however used his middle name for escorting. After we got to know each other fairly well he didn't like me to call him "B..., correcting me several times, "Its D..." . Since I had known him originally as B it took a while. There are two guys I've seen on a semi-regular basis and I have no idea what their "real" names are, and really don't care; they both know my real name, first and last. If I don't trust somebody I don't give them my business.

Just curious since I do most of my hiring when I'm traveling. How do you check into a hotel and not give your real name? The last time I checked into a Westin they actually asked for a photo ID! That was a first. Often times the hotel will not put a call thru to the room unless the person gives your name. They can always use the "I'm returning a page" which often works, but occasionally doesn't. I can use the cell, but that is usually long distance vs a local call for the hotel #.

[CT Dick]

I certainly understand an escort not giving out his last name.

 

But, I wish they/you would use "real" first names. It doesn't compromise their/your anonymity (unless they/you are the only Aloysius in town) and it means starting a "relationship" on an honest basis.

 

Dick

[Guest jeffOH]

RE: Escorts

 

I've used my real name for the past 10 years of the 11 I've been escorting. The escort agency for whom I worked my first year advised me to use a fake name("Clay"). I chose to use my real name when I quit the agency. Any client who comes to my apartment, also knows my last name(it's on the buzzer). I've never had any problems as a result of using my real name.

 

The escorts I know who use fake names do so for a variety of reasons.

They don't want their family, friends or employers to find out that they're working as a hooker is the main reason. I do know an escort who(even though I know his real name) insists that I ALWAYS call him by his escort name. He's overly paranoid about stalkers as I'm sure many others are.

 

Life's alot easier when you don't have secrets.;-)

 

JEFF

[email protected]

[bluenix]

RE: Escorts

 

>I find it confusing and just plain odd to get to know

>someone by one name and then find out later that their name

>is really something completely different.

 

Hey, BG.

 

Does this mean you were disturbed to learn that that The Mill on the Floss was written by Mary Ann Evans and not, as the jacket claimed, George Eliot? Or that in actual truth it was Frances Gumm warbling "Somewhere Over the Rainbow?" in The Wizard of Oz? Was it dishonest of these women to purport to be people other than who they really were?

 

I'm guessing that you have no problem with the two examples above, which begs the question, for me, why can't an escort have a professional name just like an author or a film star might?

 

If "intimacy" and "passion" are your principal reasons I'm going to respectfully disagree. Because as long as you're paying for these features then the relationship remains firmly rooted in the commercial.

 

Interesting discussion.

 

blue

[Guest DevonSFescort]

RE: Escorts

 

I have a feeling that this is going to be one of those "agree-to-disagree" conversations, and that's perfectly agreeable to me, though I hope your policy doesn't become too popular. :-) (It does, however, make a difference -- for the better, in my view -- what you said about not requesting to know your escort's last name.)

 

At the end of the day it probably comes down to whether you believe names are more the emotional property, so to speak, of the person who answers to them or of the person addressing him. I tend to give extreme deference to what the person wants to be called. Also, it doesn't seem strange to me that a person might want to be addressed differently by different people. Some adults, for example, would rather be addressed differently by children (as Mr. or Mrs. So-and-so) than by other adults (by their first names or by nicknames). I might not have that preference myself, but I wouldn't draw dark conclusions about how these adults secretly view children as a result.

 

An escort might, rationally or irrationally, think of withholding his "real" name as a safety belt of sorts. When someone wears their seat belt in a car you're driving -- and no, this is not a gratuitous swipe at Boston drivers (:+) -- you probably don't take it as a failure to trust that you're a safe driver, or as a sign that they think they're going to be in a crash that day. People wear seat belts all the time for that one time it turns out they need to, even if that one time never comes. I think you'd be taking it too personally to assume that someone preferring you to call him by his escort name represented a mistrustful relationship with you.

 

I say this as someone who doesn't ask his clients what their real names are. It simply doesn't occur to me, even though I know one of my favorite clients doesn't share his real name with me (I found out when I arrived at our hotel for an overnight before he did and they didn't have anyone reserved under "his" name). I just know that that's a boundary he has with escorts, even though he's made it clear to me in many ways that I'm not just another escort to him. I'd be cheating myself (and not just out of the fees) if I decided to stop associating with him because of the name he asks me to call him. The fact that he may prefer that other people address him by a different name doesn't make me trust him any less or make me feel lied to. He has been quite truthful with me with regard to the name he would like ME to call him. As I see it, that's all that should concern me. It would be no different, in my view, if the situation were reversed and I were hiring him. A rose by any other name and all that.

[Guest Kalifornia]

RE: Escorts

 

CJ your woe is me (again) post is not unlike escorts who feel that any negative experience with a client is due the client's bad breath.

 

First in this day and age why would someone need to gothrough your trash to get your real name. It can be located in mere seconds without getting ones hands all filthy.

 

Next why do escorts feel they are being stalked? Would ANYONE please give me thje name of (real or working name) and specific date of and location (city) of the last escort injured or murdered by a "stalker?"

 

If you are unable to provide me with the above, surely someone has stats on how many escorts per year are the subject of stalking? Also, I am sure the escort reportedsuch negative attention to the police, right?

 

AND IF YOU STILL CANNOT ANSWER EITHER OF THE ABOVE QUESTIONS then please give me one instance where any escort ever has been injured or killed by a stalker (not due to other reasons) and please give me what percentage this escort's harm is pro rata to all the escorts in his Country?

 

It is an old tired line CJ.

Mark -Kalifornia

[Boston Guy]

RE: Escorts

 

>I have a feeling that this is going to be one of those

>"agree-to-disagree" conversations, and that's perfectly

>agreeable to me, though I hope your policy doesn't become

>too popular. :-)

 

I'm very willing to agree to disagree. :-) I certainly don't think there is any "right" answer here -- just what works for each person.

 

In a more idealistic vein, though, it would be nice if the fear that drives the use of false names on both sides could be lessened or eliminated.

 

Take care,

BG