How do you approach a new sub

[gck333]

So when you approach a new sub on the Internet, how do you guys talk?

I mean, do you talk dirty with role play (being strict and sounds like a dom) or do you talk like a normal person? I liked to talk like a normal person but worry if that would affect the relationship and my authority when we started playing. I also try to do role play from start to end during our meeting. Is that the right way? Or should I just talk to them normally outside the play session?

Subs, please feel free to chime in too. What do you guys prefer?

[+ nycman]

I don’t assume the Dom role until the other man assumes the sub role. 
For me, the desire to submit must come from within. 
In the street, we are equals. 
At home once he submits, we are not. 
The minute we’re done, we’re equals. 
 

Works for me, but you’ll soon realize that every man is different. 

[mike carey]

I think there are arguments on both sides of this. I don't see a problem if two people carry out their entire relationship 'in character', but I don't think it's ideal. If I were one of the participants, I would absolutely insist that dom/sub role play was just that. From my perspective it would be imperative that I have a respectful equal relationship with the other party until the role-play session starts, and after it ends. When it starts is open for discussion, say from when the door opens when we meet, or from when we've had a discussion in the same room, even perhaps a drink before flicking the switch to role play. I had an on-line discussion with a master who seemed to want me to be completely submissive in my interactions with him. I accept that may be a thing, but it's not a thing I was prepared to consider.

Edited July 19, 2021 by mike carey

[Guest davebk]

Tend to let it flow naturally when I approach someone I think would be a good dom for a session.  But I usually approach as fairly respectful and mutual, indicating a sub disposition.  But just naturally, I'm going to call just about anyone I approach as "Sir".  

What I don't enjoy is when I get a first message from someone that immediately goes all in on acting like I'm already owned by him with aggressive slave type language. 

[YOUNG_LA_DOM]

Definitely time and place for when the sub is in the head space to want to be a sub 

 

it’s all about communicating and if the sub assumes the sub position yea that’s key code for you to assume your role as dom 

 

 

dom here experienced speaking 

[+ outlaer]

On 7/15/2021 at 10:33 PM, gck333 said:

So when you approach a new sub on the Internet, how do you guys talk?

I mean, do you talk dirty with role play (being strict and sounds like a dom) or do you talk like a normal person? I liked to talk like a normal person but worry if that would affect the relationship and my authority when we started playing. I also try to do role play from start to end during our meeting. Is that the right way? Or should I just talk to them normally outside the play session?

Subs, please feel free to chime in too. What do you guys prefer?

I prefer some talk and to be led into the role. That’s incredibly erotic. But I’m also new at at this. 

[Cure69]

On 8/30/2021 at 4:43 AM, COLLEGEDOM said:

Definitely time and place for when the sub is in the head space to want to be a sub 

 

it’s all about communicating and if the sub assumes the sub position yea that’s key code for you to assume your role as dom 

 

 

dom here experienced speaking 

I haven't played these roles just yet but me, I'm a sub, and I can only imagine a dom going into character and that itself would be a turn on for me (because of my sub nature) so, I would sub when I'm told.

Yet again, I have no experience in this other than being a bottom and submissive by my very nature.