Coworker 2

[orville]

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So there is this guy I hire regularly who has been unemployed since Covid. Very cute, confident and straight, or at least that's what he says. Occasionally he asks me for advice. We’ve talked a couple times and he's told me he's looking for another job as escorting is secondary for him. The other day he directly asked if I would be able to help him land a job in the company I work for, IF he can't find anything else. I truly admire his ambition and I could definitely help him but if one-day someone finds him looking at me or smiling at me IN the office, I don't know what would happen, plus any other potential problems. I like him a lot so when he asked, instead of saying directly "No", I just said that because of the crisis we don't have many opportunities, and a lot of people have been fired (true). But the fact is that the economy is bouncing now and if I help him (I can), I'm afraid of any consequences. Just throwing this out there to the group. I'm looking to receive any feedback from anyone who has been in the same situation. What solution can I find to help him that would not imply directly finding him a job in the same company I'm in? I'm afraid if he feels that I just don't want to help him, he might stop seeing me. Or if you were in this situation and you helped that special friend and were able to handle the situation without any problems, I would also love to hear your story. Thanks!

Edited August 22, 2020 by orville

[+ WilliamM]

Unless, if things go wrong, you can easily get another job for yourself ithat pays the same and most people would enjoy perhaps, let this hot dude find his own job.

 

But I do have images of you screwing him quickly or slowly in the men's during lunch and work breaks.

[orville]

Unless, if things go wrong, you can easily get another job for yourself ithat pays the same and most people would enjoy perhaps, let this hot dude find his own job.

 

But I do have images of you screwing him quickly or slowly in the men's during lunch and work breaks.

Thanks for the advice William. I won't deny that crossed my mind but just the thought of losing my job feels scary even more with this Corona situation. I hope he doesn't get upset when he finds out I'm in no position to help him Similar to my job, it would be difficult to find a replacement.

[BluDay]

If you think he's a good fit for your company, that is another reason to help him. You've hired him several times, so you like him at some level. Have a talk with him that his escorting and you have to remain away from that company. There is a very good chance he knows how to ignore a client in public.

[+ sniper]

If it's a huge company that you could find him something where you'd have pretty much no interaction, I'd consider it. Otherwise, i think I'd say only help get him a job if you are ending the escort relationship.

Do you have former colleagues at OTHER firms you might be able to put in a word for him at?

[orville]

If it's a huge company that you could find him something where you'd have pretty much no interaction, I'd consider it. Otherwise, i think I'd say only help get him a job if you are ending the escort relationship.

Do you have former colleagues at OTHER firms you might be able to put in a word for him at?

My company is not big. That's the fear factor because more likely we would have, at some point, some sort of interaction or collaboration.

Even though it's not necessary for former colleagues to know I hire him in another context, I don't want to take the risk of sharing/losing him.

I'm definitely not ending our provider-client relationship, or at least I don't want it to end. I hope he doesn't change his attitude towards me.

[orville]

If you think he's a good fit for your company, that is another reason to help him.

There is a very good chance he knows how to ignore a client in public.

Yes, I know he can behave and be a complete (or friendly) stranger in public.

And yes, he's a great fit for the company, he's in the same line of work.

I guess my fear is: If something bad happens I would never forgive myself.

[+ sniper]

I think helping him get something somewhere else is the way to go if possible.

[rvwnsd]

My personal employee referral policy is to only refer individuals whom I know very, very well and who would be a good fit for the firm. I also refer people only for positions that are open to applicants outside of the firm and do not simply circulate resumes. I do that because my reputation in the firm is sterling (and I intend to keep it that way), fairness is one of the firm's core values, awkwardness in the workplace is something to avoid at all costs, and the appearance of nepotism and/or favoritism is something I want to avoid.

 

So, were I in your shoes I'd help this individual by offering to review his resume from the viewpoint of a hiring manager.

[+ poolboy48220]

I helped an escort who became a friend get a job at my company, working in a technical call center. It didn't work out well, he chafed at the corporate culture and the rules around the job, he only lasted a few months.

[+ DERRIK]

if I helped an escort get a job I - we would have to agree not to engage in the future (either from $ or free)

[+ SundayZip]

As much as you like him and want to continue seeing him as an escort, you are putting your own reputation at the company at risk. What happens when he decides to confide in one of his new coworkers how he got the job referral and his prior relationship with you? He may think that his coworker will keep the secret, but secrets tend to not remain secrets. I was a hiring manager at a large company for years and would never have considered hiring someone with whom I had a history that I wanted to keep secret. Even the appearance of a conflict of interest can stain your reputation.

[+ FrankR]

My personal employee referral policy is to only refer individuals whom I know very, very well and who would be a good fit for the firm. I also refer people only for positions that are open to applicants outside of the firm and do not simply circulate resumes. I do that because my reputation in the firm is sterling (and I intend to keep it that way), fairness is one of the firm's core values, awkwardness in the workplace is something to avoid at all costs, and the appearance of nepotism and/or favoritism is something I want to avoid.

 

So, were I in your shoes I'd help this individual by offering to review his resume from the viewpoint of a hiring manager.

You are spot on about your reputation and maintaining integrity. The past few weeks I have been helping an acquaintance look for position at my firm and some others. I have directed him to the application portal online and helped him craft a resume that speaks to the roles in question. Then I found that he did not bother to apply - he was, in fact, looking for me to contact the hiring managers and recommend him; basically expecting me to circumvent the usually process. I refuse to do that. Things will probably get awkward if he keeps asking me for help and then ignore my advice and guidance.

[+ sniper]

I helped an escort who became a friend get a job at my company, working in a technical call center. It didn't work out well, he chafed at the corporate culture and the rules around the job, he only lasted a few months.

A lot of full-time escorts simply temperamentally aren't suited to 9-5, but a call center has all the 9-5 issues ramped up with the constant tracking/being lowest on the company totem-pole/etc that I would expect to be EXTREMELY challenging for ANYONE who was previously accustomed to both setting their own hours and getting validation from the person paying them.

[marylander1940]

I think helping him get something somewhere else is the way to go if possible.

 

Is there any application form?