Conflicted

[Cubist]

Any guys in a long term, but not-open relationship that get massages frequently? Feeling conflicted about the whole thing. Would love to chat.

[BeefyDude]

if its a legit massage why should you feel conflicted?

 

If you seek a massage for any "extra's then IMHO it would be a conflict.

 

You put that question out there. I'm just responding honestly

[+ Just Sayin]

I think you need to have a chat with your partner about boundaries; it will clear the air for both of you

[Hey_Jay]

Reading between the lines, you must have gotten massages that went beyond therapeutic. Here are my thoughts: prolly the reason why you didn’t open up to your partner coz this could create a bump in your relationship. The thing with massages tho is that you didn’t really sign up for “that” so whatever happens beyond massage is a mutual agreement between the 2 people involve as oppose to meeting someone in a bar then you hook up knowing that your in a relationship. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we are all humans and temptations are everywhere.With massage you definitely have some control - but then again why do it it the first place if you can just go to a legit place to get one. Maybe it’s time to talk to your partner about your sexual relationship coz if I were in your situation I would prolly won’t get one if the relationship is sufficient

[MscleLovr]

Yes @Cubist I’m in a longterm, monogamous relationship with a much younger man. And I get a massage every 1-2 weeks.

 

The relationship not being open is important to my partner, and so it’s important to me. I have had offers of ‘extras’ but I find it easy to refuse anything more than a therapeutic massage. I just think of how upset my partner would feel if I had my cock in another man’s mouth.

 

If declining ‘extras’ is difficult for you, I feel you MUST discuss this with your partner. It’s not good for either of you that you feel “conflicted” in a massage session. Perhaps you should explore with your partner more ways to have physical intimacy - have you tried giving each other a good, long massage (and not being diverted into having sex)?

[Ajac]

Any activity below the belt line and above the knees is in essence a problem for monogamy. If you don't have a long talk and engage in anything that would make you feel guilty or conflicted you have already answered your' own question. So stick to legitimate spas and if you don't trust yourself there maybe stick to massage with each other. There are some great videos on Massage techniques for lovers.

[big dale]

Guys who come on this board and pretend they don't want a HE with every massage confuse me.