Depression... Any suggestions?

[+ Topseed]

I echo LivingnLA’s comment #3.

 

In short: what brings you joy? Do you know? Ponder what truly is essential to your happiness in this brief time we have on this planet.

 

This is a question whose answers evolve. That’s fine! Your answers are yours, and yours alone. Other people may opine on this; consider whether you want to give them a “vote” in how you lead your life.

 

Feel free to be as subversive and as joyous in your answers as you wish. Allow yourself to reduce the time you spend with people/places/things that diminish your sense of joy.

 

Do not seek “perfect” knowledge nor a “perfect” outcome. A “good” outcome is fine.

[+ tassojunior]

@MidwestCoastal, .

2. Spending money on short-term gratification is great in the moment, but it will promote depressive feelings and thoughts later and reinforce feelings of loneliness and more. I STRONGLY URGE you to invest that money in yourself. Many studies have found that physical activity has a profound impact on human brains, especially male humans. Stop spending as much time with escorts and put some of that money toward a personal trainer. Make it someone who's attractive to you and who's friendly/coachy/flirty. They are out there..

 

Don't underestimate sex as a physical activity. IF you can keep your emotions in check, long vigorous sex can be a very good physical exercise, working some organs and muscles otherwise neglected. Use it or lose it. The trick (!) is to not get too emotionally attached, or God-forbid, co-dependent. Money cost actually helps a little because many are better at budgeting their money than their emotions. Kind of like paying carbon costs for driving a car. Of course it's disaster for those who can control neither money or emotions. But pure sex can be an outstanding workout.

[+ WilliamM]

Don't underestimate sex as a physical activity. IF you can keep your emotions in check, long vigorous sex can be a very good physical exercise, working some organs and muscles otherwise neglected. Use it or lose it. The trick (!) is to not get too emotionally attached, or God-forbid, co-dependent. Money cost actually helps a little because many are better at budgeting their money than their emotions. Kind of like paying carbon costs for driving a car. Of course it's disaster for those who can control neither money or emotions. But pure sex can be an outstanding workout.

 

People with heart problems might want to jog or walk instead, and in snowy Winters, use an indoor track,

[LivingnLA]

Don't underestimate sex as a physical activity. IF you can keep your emotions in check, long vigorous sex can be a very good physical exercise, working some organs and muscles otherwise neglected. Use it or lose it. The trick (!) is to not get too emotionally attached, or God-forbid, co-dependent. Money cost actually helps a little because many are better at budgeting their money than their emotions. Kind of like paying carbon costs for driving a car. Of course it's disaster for those who can control neither money or emotions. But pure sex can be an outstanding workout.

 

Sure there are many positive things about healthy sexual activity. But, without getting into public processing of everything the OP has revealed in his comments, I believe--maybe I'm wrong--but I believe hiring escorts in this particular situation is maladaptive and counterproductive. Again, THIS IS NOT PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. This is purely speculation based on experience and a close reading of what's been shared.

 

The only person who can answer this is the OP. If he feels it's a positive and constructive aspect of his life and that it enables him to develop healthy productive socialization and other emotional intelligences, then great! If not, the time, money, and energy need to be redirected into healthier activities focused on deconstructing the foundational supports of the depression.

[Mo Mason]

Thanks for mentioning that not all antidepressants affect libido. I use a different antidepressant (escitalopram) and do not experience a decrease in libido.

Same here! My mom recommended escitalopram to me and it's been the best thing that ever happened to me. I've been on so many different antidepressants over the years and they all had their awful side effects, but this one really works for me. With no side effects.

[MidwestCoastal]

I cannot thank everyone enough for all the responses, advice, and most importantly, support. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

 

I'm starting to make a concerted effort to 'change' because the status quo isn't working and if anything, is making things worse.

 

In the short term, I'm planning on putting my physical well-being at the top of the list - taking care of myself on a consistent basis - diet, exercise, sleep, seeing all doctors again. I have decided to explore TMS (magnetic therapy) to try to displace my physical depression.

 

For now, long term can wait.

[LivingnLA]

I cannot thank everyone enough for all the responses, advice, and most importantly, support. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

 

I'm starting to make a concerted effort to 'change' because the status quo isn't working and if anything, is making things worse.

 

In the short term, I'm planning on putting my physical well-being at the top of the list - taking care of myself on a consistent basis - diet, exercise, sleep, seeing all doctors again. I have decided to explore TMS (magnetic therapy) to try to displace my physical depression.

 

For now, long term can wait.

 

TMS? Have you already tried a wide range of anti-depressants and found them ineffective? TMS isn't a first line treatment. It's usually reserved for those who are resistant to pharmacological treatments.

 

Good luck. Be patient. Be persistent. Be compassionate. Be generous with yourself. May you have a productive journey as you explore this aspect of yourself.

[Guest]

...I believe hiring escorts in this particular situation is maladaptive and counterproductive...

 

I'm not sure I would say that. Many years ago, when I was depressed, sex and masturbation were just about the only pleasure I got out of life. It still is my greatest source of joy. I might have offed myself were it not for sex and masturbation. Yes, exercise, a good diet, and a personal trainer would be extremely helpful steps. If you can afford escorts in addition to all of that, and it gives you joy, I wouldn't want to discourage doing that. I have had people make judgmental comments about he fact I enjoy being with young, handsome men. However, my fiance makes me very happy, and he says I make him happy, too. I've told him I've never been so happy in my life, and he tells me he feels the same way. Where's the harm if everyone is happy?

[Elvis]

 

Good luck. Be patient. Be persistent. Be compassionate. Be generous with yourself. May you have a productive journey as you explore this aspect of yourself.

 

I am not a doctor, but I did play one in the movie 'Change of Habit' with Mary Tyler Moore. Man, she could turn the world on with her smile? She could take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile? Sorry, I digress.

 

nice way to sum it up LivingnLA!

May you find your peace MC, it always comes from within.

 

remember, You're going to make it after all!

sorry, I couldn't resist that

Edited May 15, 2019 by Elvis