"...bending over..." - I think I'm offended.

[MidwestCoastal]

I'm really not offended... But I did have HR laughing!

 

Several people at my office often use some variation of the saying-

 

"I mean I guess we have to bend over and just take it from them." as in we need to do something unpleasant or detrimental in order to please a client.

 

Men, women, young, old... I've heard almost every demographic say it. I went to a friend in HR and with a straight face, explained that as a gay man who THOROUGHLY enjoys 'bending over and taking it, I'm offended by using that term in a negative way. My friend just stuttered and didn't know what to do. I let them them off the hook and told them I was mostly joking. I pointed out, the odd thing is, in some training sessions they did say the term 'rape' should never be used - "They are raping us with that price increase..."

 

Wouldn't it raise some eyebrows if I said "I guess I need to have vaginal sex to make them happy..."? We laughed and went to lunch, but it did make them think!

 

Just a random share...

[+ azdr0710]

Some of the too-serious militants might get angry, I suppose. Life is waaayyy too short to worry about those non-PC jokes.

[rvwnsd]

I'm really not offended... But I did have HR laughing!

 

Several people at my office often use some variation of the saying-

 

"I mean I guess we have to bend over and just take it from them." as in we need to do something unpleasant or detrimental in order to please a client.

 

Men, women, young, old... I've heard almost every demographic say it. I went to a friend in HR and with a straight face, explained that as a gay man who THOROUGHLY enjoys 'bending over and taking it, I'm offended by using that term in a negative way. My friend just stuttered and didn't know what to do. I let them them off the hook and told them I was mostly joking. I pointed out, the odd thing is, in some training sessions they did say the term 'rape' should never be used - "They are raping us with that price increase..."

 

Wouldn't it raise some eyebrows if I said "I guess I need to have vaginal sex to make them happy..."? We laughed and went to lunch, but it did make them think!

 

Just a random share...

Ahh, but do you thoroughly enjoy bending over and taking it from just anyone? I mean, we have some clients whom I don't want to speak to let alone, well, you know!

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

You may not think you are offended, but you wouldn't have said anything to HR if you weren't. I know when I've handled things in this way in the past, I would use humor to cover up my feelings. The use of this phase in the work place is offensive and inappropriate.

[+ sync]

A variation of that a female acquaintance of mine offers is "bend over, here it comes again." You have to be there, cracks me up every time.

[+ quoththeraven]

Some of the too-serious militants might get angry, I suppose. Life is waaayyy too short to worry about those non-PC jokes.

I agree that it's not a big deal but as that saying and others (like things sucking and someone being a douche) rely on and spring from homophobia and hangups about sex, is it really so bad to occasionally point out these assumptions?

 

In the old days of women's lib, this would be called "consciousness raising." I have to admit to being irked every time anyone uses the term PC. Either they're using it to refer to counterproductive or dumb bureaucracy, insisting on treating people with dignity irrespective of status, or to engage in this type of consciousness-raising. As to bureacracy, call it that. Don't use the lazy formulation of PC. As to the others, what is so bad about any of that?

Edited January 30, 2019 by quoththeraven

[+ WilliamM]

I agree that it's not a big deal but as that saying and others (like things sucking and someone being a douche) rely on and spring from homophobia and hangups about sex, is it really so bad to occasionally point out these assumptions?

 

 

The two words (things "sucking" and being a "douche") are used by people who have never said anything even vaguely "homophobic."

[+ quoththeraven]

The two words (things "sucking" and being a "douche") are used by people who have never said anything even vaguely "homophobic."

That's not my point. (And douche is misogynistic, not homophobic.) The reasons why the terms are used are homophobic or misogynistic, as the case may be.

[Guest]

That's not my point. (And douche is misogynistic, not homophobic.) The reasons why the terms are used are homophobic or misogynistic, as the case may be.

Some men douche also, FYI. ..

[Guest]

A variation of that a female acquaintance of mine offers is "bend over, here it comes again." You have to be there, cracks me up every time.

I remember in college whenever we got a big assignment, one of my classmates use to say "BOHICA!"

[+ quoththeraven]

Some men douche also, FYI. ..

True, but that's not as widespread public knowledge as the purpose for which it had originally been developed. The negative connotation to douche is much more likely to be tied to associations with an organ that is regularly minimized through cutesy slang (pussy) and slang used to demean women (cunt).

[+ DERRIK]

We had an on air apology last month from Mika Brzezinski (Morning Joe MSNBC) when she referred to Secretary of State as a BUTT BOY.

[+ Pensant]

That's not my point. (And douche is misogynistic, not homophobic.) The reasons why the terms are used are homophobic or misogynistic, as the case may be.

My guess is that the vast majority of folks who use those terms are not using them in a homophobic or misogynistic way, simply as a a turn of phrase. That said, you’ve made a good point!