Getting the message across?

[+ Yellowrod]

I recently met an escort who was very communicative during the setup, stating he understood exactly what I wanted. When we finally met, not only did he not address my desires, but became the exact opposite. I have a string of text where he elaborated on how he would please me in the way I wanted, but when I got through the door he just went into his usual mode of aggressive force the client into submission phase. (I had wanted a slow and romantic BFE). It's honestly something I've never encountered before and I know YMMV etc etc but why would someone agree (and even elaborate on what he would do in response to my request which sounded absolutely thrilling) and then do close to what seems to be the exact opposite? I was quite turned off by this. I don't know how I could have made myself more clear - I sense I may have been played for a bit of a fool. Any others have such experiences - and any advice on how one can avoid them?

[+ azdr0710]

sorry that happened.....three-and-a-half minutes into it, when it was apparent he wasn't going to do what you wanted, did you mention it?......

[+ Yellowrod]

I did, even imploring him to do all the things I wanted - he just kept pushing my head to his groin. Maybe his idea of a BFE was a "caveman" experience! He might have had a slight issue understanding, as English isn't his first language, but his texts were well composed and our conversation - up to that point and after - was fluent.

[+ Travis69]

I did, even imploring him to do all the things I wanted - he just kept pushing my head to his groin. Maybe his idea of a BFE was a "caveman" experience! He might have had a slight issue understanding, as English isn't his first language, but his texts were well composed and our conversation - up to that point and after - was fluent.

I would have left then or ask him what was going on. On a few occasions i have had to stop the person, masseur or escort, and say that things weren't going quite as i expected and discuss the problems. Perhaps with him it was a language problem. Sorry it happened.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I had something similar happen once, although not as extreme. It was a situation that there was a power outage from storms the previous night and power returned during my late morning massage appointment. As I was showering and dressing, the masseur checked his on-line appointment booked and apologized when he realized that he thought I was the client who made requests for photographs to be taken during the massage. (After he stated that he knew I wanted photos, I said that I had changed my mind.)

[bostonman]

I had an experience not long ago where signals got crossed a bit. I had a good back-and-forth conversation with the escort beforehand, explaining a fantasy I wanted to play out - we talked details, he seemed to understand it all, no prob. When we actually met up, he started playing things out rather differently than I expected - and when I found a way to nicely ask why he was taking a different route, he told me that he wasn't very comfortable with the fantasy I had suggested. I really wanted to ask him why he didn't say that beforehand, but I didn't.

 

He was a nice guy, attractive, and did seem very willing to have a session together, and we found a way to play an aspect of the roleplay that made sense for him - but ultimately it really wasn't what I wanted, even though he was still nice to be with. So it wound up an awkward experience for me - the sex was decent but I had really wanted a different kind of interaction.

 

If he had said to me off the bat, in our initial talks, something like "hey, I like your ideas but I'd be much more comfortable doing it a different way," or even "I'd love to meet and play, but this specific fantasy just isn't something I would do well" etc, I could have had the chance to adjust - maybe to still hire him but do other things together, or to thank him for his honesty and move on - but he didn't give me that chance at all.

 

And to be clear, I don't think he was scamming me or being dishonest - he really was a very nice, easygoing, and decent guy - it's just that I really wish he had handled things differently.

[+ Yellowrod]

I had an experience not long ago where signals got crossed a bit. I had a good back-and-forth conversation with the escort beforehand, explaining a fantasy I wanted to play out - we talked details, he seemed to understand it all, no prob. When we actually met up, he started playing things out rather differently than I expected - and when I found a way to nicely ask why he was taking a different route, he told me that he wasn't very comfortable with the fantasy I had suggested. I really wanted to ask him why he didn't say that beforehand, but I didn't.

 

He was a nice guy, attractive, and did seem very willing to have a session together, and we found a way to play an aspect of the roleplay that made sense for him - but ultimately it really wasn't what I wanted, even though he was still nice to be with. So it wound up an awkward experience for me - the sex was decent but I had really wanted a different kind of interaction.

 

If he had said to me off the bat, in our initial talks, something like "hey, I like your ideas but I'd be much more comfortable doing it a different way," or even "I'd love to meet and play, but this specific fantasy just isn't something I would do well" etc, I could have had the chance to adjust - maybe to still hire him but do other things together, or to thank him for his honesty and move on - but he didn't give me that chance at all.

 

And to be clear, I don't think he was scamming me or being dishonest - he really was a very nice, easygoing, and decent guy - it's just that I really wish he had handled things differently.

 

I think you have summed up some of the conflicted feelings I felt. In hindsight I am beating myself up.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

and any advice on how one can avoid them?

From reading this thread, there doesn’t seem to be any “avoiding” possible on a first try. You did everything right.

The only option to you is to not re-hire this guy.

Oh, and also, write a review on Daddyreviews.com: If we all know who doesn’t deliver on promises, we can all avoid them.

Imagine, if someone else who was also disappointed before you had written a review which you had read, you would have chosen someone different.

[jawjateck]

A "mix up" about 13-14 years ago ranks as one of my weirdest meetings. I scheduled a well-reviewed pro for a multi-hour appointment, dinner and fun. He mixed up my emails with the fantasy scenario another client shared with him. The result? We got back to the hotel room after dinner, and he started getting aggressive and rough, slapped me in the face....twice. I was stunned. Fight or flight kicked in, I punched him in the face and jumped off the bed. He was strong enough to hurt me. At least, I let him know that he would feel it when the fight was done. That's all I could do. He was shocked, then realized he had crossed up the client communications, and apologized. We called it off at that point. I prorated his fee and left. He was basically a good guy, who screwed up, even tried to decline the reduced fee, but that's not how I roll. I never saw him again. We never communicated again.

 

That was back in the day when reviews could be juicy, detailed, and potentially more harmful to a guy's biz. I declined to write about that encounter, and that's when I was writing alot of reviews. He f'ed up. It happens. He made a mistake. Others deceive. Others defraud. And still others don't give a damn one way or the other. I had already been hobbying long enough to know that unsatisfying encounters go with the territory. All you can do is move along and give it another try when you are ready to get what you want from another guy who seems to offer what you want.

 

But my encouragement: give yourself a break. You are a good guy and a good client. Providers will be fortunate to have you schedule with them in the future. Scenes like this suck, but they are a component of the overall risk-reward equation in this hobby.

[+ Gar1eth]

I had an experience not long ago where signals got crossed a bit. I had a good back-and-forth conversation with the escort beforehand, explaining a fantasy I wanted to play out - we talked details, he seemed to understand it all, no prob. When we actually met up, he started playing things out rather differently than I expected - and when I found a way to nicely ask why he was taking a different route, he told me that he wasn't very comfortable with the fantasy I had suggested. I really wanted to ask him why he didn't say that beforehand, but I didn't.

 

He was a nice guy, attractive, and did seem very willing to have a session together, and we found a way to play an aspect of the roleplay that made sense for him - but ultimately it really wasn't what I wanted, even though he was still nice to be with. So it wound up an awkward experience for me - the sex was decent but I had really wanted a different kind of interaction.

 

If he had said to me off the bat, in our initial talks, something like "hey, I like your ideas but I'd be much more comfortable doing it a different way," or even "I'd love to meet and play, but this specific fantasy just isn't something I would do well" etc, I could have had the chance to adjust - maybe to still hire him but do other things together, or to thank him for his honesty and move on - but he didn't give me that chance at all.

 

And to be clear, I don't think he was scamming me or being dishonest - he really was a very nice, easygoing, and decent guy - it's just that I really wish he had handled things differently.

It seems to me to be a bit of a scam. He wasn't comfortable with what you wanted. But didn't tell you because he didn't want to lose a client. The only proviso where I would think it wouldn't be a scam is if he thought he could do it until the time came.

 

Gman

[Gymowner]

The issue could be as simple as those actions he created allowed him to get turned on enough to have sex. As much an issue as it can be "jr" has to be aroused. Women have it easy.... they can fake it all day long. An erection cannot. Not what we want to hear but it is what it is.

 

Next time you are with an escort, tell him to guide you thru exactly what's gets him turned on and excited the most. If your goal is to get your brains fucked inside out then you may have to give on the details to enjoy the big picture.

[+ Yellowrod]

The issue could be as simple as those actions he created allowed him to get turned on enough to have sex. As much an issue as it can be "jr" has to be aroused. Women have it easy.... they can fake it all day long. An erection cannot. Not what we want to hear but it is what it is.

 

Next time you are with an escort, tell him to guide you thru exactly what's gets him turned on and excited the most. If your goal is to get your brains fucked inside out then you may have to give on the details to enjoy the big picture.

 

I always do tell the escort what I am looking for, and almost always he will respond what exactly floats his boat sexually. That was the case with this one. I'm very clear laying out what turns me on - and in response asking him if similar acts will turn him on, and this escort replied to the texts with affirmation. I am thinking maybe there was a language barrier, or something similar that took place. I now wonder if GMan might be right - a scam or something might be going on.

[+ Gar1eth]

I always do tell the escort what I am looking for, and almost always he will respond what exactly floats his boat sexually. That was the case with this one. I'm very clear laying out what turns me on - and in response asking him if similar acts will turn him on, and this escort replied to the texts with affirmation. I am thinking maybe there was a language barrier, or something similar that took place. I now wonder if GMan might be right - a scam or something might be going on.

 

Well you do mention language barrier. But then the question of the texts. If they were composed well, was there really a language barrier? Or could someone else have been texting for him because of his problems with language? Or as someone mentioned, could he have confused you with someone else?

 

Gman