LGBT...how many do you know?

[foxy]

When I see LGBT I realize it's supposed to reflect that we are one big happy group. I thought I'd pose the question...how many do you have as friends?

 

Lesbian: I've met some lesbians and had some pleasant conversations but I don't have any lesbian friends. I've tried but they seem more interested in other lesbians.

 

Gay: Let's leave this one out.

 

Bi-sexual: This may sound silly but I don't think I've ever really met a card carrying bi-sexual i.e. someone who is equally attracted to both men and women. I have friends who used to be married but they were really just in the closet. Does bi-sexuality really exist? It would be handy since it doubles your chances for a date on Friday night.

 

Trans-gender: I fully appreciate that there are people trapped in the wrong body and thanks to modern medical procedures they can correct that. So I'm all in favor of anyone who wants to change their sex. I just don't know any trans-gendered people. Maybe it's just as well since I think I would ask too many questions.

 

So, honestly, do you know any of these people?

[Guest Jesse Dane]

I have a very broad and diverse group of friends that would encompass all of those groups. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and especially transgendered. I've had so many very dear friends who were transgendered over the years, both m2f and f2m.

[Guest LatinoRican]

This one is easy...

1. NO lesbian friends

2. Many gay friends

3. No bi-sexual friends

4. Several trans-gendered friends

[+ Lucky]

No lesbians, no transgenders or even transvestites, and I , too, don't believe there are any real bisexuals. All of my friends are masculine guys...not a nelly one in the bunch. Well, except you, foxy!

[+ Charlie]

L--I have a couple of close friends who are lesbians, and a few acquaintances.

G--Some of my best friends are.

B--When I was young, some of my friends claimed to be bi, but I don't know anyone now who isn't solidly in one camp or another.

T--I knew one male-to-female, but s/he is now deceased.

[johnnybrk25]

I know quite a few from all the posted groups. A lot of the people I enjoy hanging out with consider themselves hetero or homoflexible and gender queer as oppossed to stricter definitions

[Guest Tristan]

I know that this post is not directly on target, but I think it's within bounds. I'm certainly not trying to hijack the thread.

 

I agree that there is probably nobody who is exactly 50/50 bisexual. There are those who argue that we are all bisexual. I believe we all have a preference, though it's possible to still be sexually attracted to the other sex.

 

I'd like to add another spin that I think is relevant here. For a long time, it was safer to view yourself as bisexual than gay. It left you on the fence, not having to commit to accepting that you were gay. Some people may think that was great because it doubled the potential. But the flip side is that it can also lead to a lot of confusion.

 

Whom do you look for next - a male or a female? If you're seeing one, do you still look for the other and cheat on the person you're seeing? I once identified as being bisexual. It wasn't fun. I'm much happier now that I've accepted that I'm gay. What really bothers me are people who say they are "bisexual curious." To me, there is no such thing. It means they are afraid to take the plunge. They're just not ready to accept it.

 

I think there's some very easy self-tests for sexual preference. When you see people in public, or in a movie, or wherever, whom do you stare at - the man or the woman? If you see a nice looking couple, whom do you stare at? If you have sex, whom are thinking about? If you answer these questions honestly, you'll know what your preference really is.

 

The whole issue is partly generational. I've noticed that from Gen X on, bisexuality is viewed differently by the peer group. It's common to see a group of kids in a club, and you have no idea who's who. People who say they are bisexual are taken more at face value and accepted. In former generations, bisexuals were disliked by both gays and str8s. Gays felt bisexuals were just being dishonest; st8s saw gays and bisexuals in the same way. It's not as big a deal for younger people. As Jesse commented, he has friends in all categories. Younger people with different sexual orientations tend to hang more together than with past generations.

 

It wasn't until the 90s that bisexual support groups became very common in metro areas. Prior to that, when I was going through my own personal struggle, there wasn't a single bisexual support group at the college or high school level. And I was living in a very progressive area. I think this has helped people who identify as bisexual be comfortable with themselves.