Mentally challenged clients?

[BluDay]

If that's not the currently correct term, please excuse me.

 

The thread on physical disabilities got me to wonder what an escort does concerning a possible session with a client who is mentally challenged. This question presumes the proposed client has the resources to pay for time, but if an escort discovers mental limitations either through disclosure or observation, what do they do?

 

I believe it could be a difficult decision either way. Let a challenged gay man have some quality time he may not get otherwise, or ask him to find another provider?

 

I do not dwell on, nor do I have have experience where I have guideposts on this, and so I'm interested in how an escort would approach the question.

[+ Kman]

I am interested to hear how an escort would approach this.

[Cody Converse]

Honestly, I could see a situation where like, someone hires for their developmentally-delayed brother or something, if he's otherwise unable to experience human contact and intimacy.

 

Having experience working with people with intellectual and developmental disabilities, it would have to depend on the person and the severity of their impairment, and that's assuming they're even capable of acknowledging/understanding our roles in this interaction. There's also an extremely murky area of consent in those with intellectual disabilities, and the threat of harm to the provider if the client is unable to behave appropriately.

[Cody Converse]

Honestly, I could see a situation where like, someone hires for their developmentally-delayed brother or something, if he's otherwise unable to experience human contact and intimacy.

 

Having experience working with people with intellectual and developmental disabilities, it would have to depend on the person and the severity of their impairment, and that's assuming they're even capable of acknowledging/understanding our roles in this interaction. There's also an extremely murky area of consent in those with intellectual disabilities, and the threat of harm to the provider if the client is unable to behave appropriately.

[bnm73]

Honestly, I could see a situation where like, someone hires for their developmentally-delayed brother or something, if he's otherwise unable to experience human contact and intimacy.

 

Having experience working with people with intellectual and developmental disabilities, it would have to depend on the person and the severity of their impairment, and that's assuming they're even capable of acknowledging/understanding our roles in this interaction. There's also an extremely murky area of consent in those with intellectual disabilities, and the threat of harm to the provider if the client is unable to behave appropriately.

 

I agree, it's a tricky question, and comes down in part to whether the person can legally consent.

 

Some impairments would cause no problem. Bi-polar is a good example. Others, where there is a difficulty distinguishing reality vs. fantasy (some of the varieties of untreated schizophrenia, for example) become less clear. If a person is unable to communicate consent (some things on the autism spectrum, for example), then you're in legal jeopardy of a sexual assault/rape charge.

 

That said, an escort should always feel free to leave or cut an appointment short if there is any concern over safety, consent, etc. You have to protect yourself.

[liubit]

I agree, it's a tricky question, and comes down in part to whether the person can legally consent.

 

Some impairments would cause no problem. Bi-polar is a good example. Others, where there is a difficulty distinguishing reality vs. fantasy (some of the varieties of untreated schizophrenia, for example) become less clear. If a person is unable to communicate consent (some things on the autism spectrum, for example), then you're in legal jeopardy of a sexual assault/rape charge.

Excellent point. To me, the question of consent is paramount. I might be wrong, but I guess that if the person is unable to legally give consent, sex can be equated to statutory rape.

[bnm73]

Admin Warning! This message has been reported to the administrators. There is no politics permitted in this Forum. Review the Guidelines for each Forum.

I fail to see how this would be politics in any way shape or form. The topic ... and the responses ... is about escorting in a particular scenario -- one involving mental (instead of physical) difficulties.

 

Am I missing something that makes it political, or is this just a wider definition of politics than one usually uses?

[NowOrNever]

I fail to see how this would be politics in any way shape or form. The topic ... and the responses ... is about escorting in a particular scenario -- one involving mental (instead of physical) difficulties.

 

Am I missing something that makes it political, or is this just a wider definition of politics than one usually uses?

 

It's my fault. I mentioned a former reality-TV personality whose position may be trumped by his rumored affiliation with paid companions.

 

Someone must have became vexed about the tongue-in-cheek comment. My apologies.

[FTM Zachary Prince]

There are so many hoops in my booking process... it’s not like clients with cash in their possession just give me an address and I show up. If someone is capable of complying with my booking procedure, they are clearly capable of consenting to an encounter with me. Whatever their mental disabilities or diversities may be, my ability to service them is limited only by their ability to make me feel safe, comfortable, and respected.

 

I am not observing and analysing my clients to search for mental challenges. I find the framing of this question weird. I am not a psychiatrist nor qualified to diagnose anyone. The only things I’m carefully observing new clients for are red flag behaviours like boundary pushing, malicious drama-stimulating gossip about other escorts, disrespectful generalisations about people in my line of work, controlling and invasive lines of conversation, etc.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

Perhaps my most emotionally challenging appointment ever was with a client who had terminal brain cancer. His best friend (who was previously his partner), hired me to spend an hour with him in hospice care. He was within weeks of passing, and his friend just wanted him to have one last opportunity at intimacy. We didn't do much, mostly just laid naked and cuddled. He was in and out of awareness due to extreme cognitive diconence.

 

I left with mixed feelings, hoping that the memory and experience would linger, but also knowing that he will likely forget about it quickly. Either way, I celebrate that I got to share the time with him. His friend emailed me about a month later informing me of his passing and thanking me again for being there for him. I still tear up thinking about it, as I am right now, as I type this.

[+ HornyRetiree]

Perhaps my most emotionally challenging appointment ever was with a client who had terminal brain cancer. His best friend (who was previously his partner), hired me to spend an hour with him in hospice care. He was within weeks of passing, and his friend just wanted him to have one last opportunity at intimacy. We didn't do much, mostly just laid naked and cuddled. He was in and out of awareness due to extreme cognitive diconence.

 

I left with mixed feelings, hoping that the memory and experience would linger, but also knowing that he will likely forget about it quickly. Either way, I celebrate that I got to share the time with him. His friend emailed me about a month later informing me of his passing and thanking me again for being there for him. I still tear up thinking about it, as I am right now, as I type this.

 

There should be a LOVE button! You are indeed a VERY special man!

[+ Kman]

Perhaps my most emotionally challenging appointment ever was with a client who had terminal brain cancer. His best friend (who was previously his partner), hired me to spend an hour with him in hospice care. He was within weeks of passing, and his friend just wanted him to have one last opportunity at intimacy. We didn't do much, mostly just laid naked and cuddled. He was in and out of awareness due to extreme cognitive diconence.

 

I left with mixed feelings, hoping that the memory and experience would linger, but also knowing that he will likely forget about it quickly. Either way, I celebrate that I got to share the time with him. His friend emailed me about a month later informing me of his passing and thanking me again for being there for him. I still tear up thinking about it, as I am right now, as I type this.

 

That’s awesome! There is such a need for the companionship piece...unfortunately many are embarrassed to say it or the family would think that hiring an escort for their loved one would be the worse thing in the world.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

That’s awesome! There is such a need for the companionship piece...unfortunately many are embarrassed to say it or the family would think that hiring an escort for their loved one would be the worse thing in the world.

 

Yeah, I once had a client who didn't come out until he was 80, he started seeing escorts so he could make up for lost time and learn new things. When his family started scrutinizing his purchases and pushing him, he admitted to it, and they took complete control over finances.

 

I urged him to push back, that he was entitled to do whatever he wants with his body and money, that his money is HIS until he dies. Unfortunately was unable to connect with him anymore.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

There should be a LOVE button! You are indeed a VERY special man!

Thanks so much hun!

[GTMike]

I am interested to hear how an escort would approach this.

 

I really don't want to change the subject and know this is an asking escorts section but I'd also be curious how others feel about a situation. I will not say who but I've struggled with a guilt situation somewhat related to this as I've met a person who has a public profile and otherwise is a very fine and upstanding young man from my interaction with him.

 

I do not have a license or the affiliated education or practical experience other than life experience and the problem is i feel that he's most likely (and please excuse the term and no offense meant at all) but "on the spectrum". My technical, unscholarly term is that i perceive him as a "highly functioning but somewhat socially autistic" perdon and from things he's told me frankly naive. Nevertheless he is grown, physically fit, "knows what he is doing", and an adult, but I can't justify meeting him again as i feel in some aspects, he was, is and i would be to a degree, taken advantage of him.

 

I feel awful and agonize over feeling this way and making the decision not to meet him again, which is admittedly based on that I suspect others look past it because he is very attractive and accomodating. I admit i do have somewhat of a "Jesus Complex" (in the sense of typically wanting to help and save people), but i'm totally torn because on one hand he does understand what he's doing and makes that conscious decision as an adult so who i am to discriminate against him, but on the other hand, I'm not sure he's also aware of or getting guidance in further supplementing his education and other practical personal and professional life skills for his longer term prosperity.

 

I feel that as he ages, the "looks fade", his pool of potential clients diminishes and he's not better equipping himself to cope with life's typcial and persistant challenges and that hiring him makes me complicit as well in taking advantage of him more than helping unfortunately.

[+ Kman]

Very interesting. Does he work? Social worker and/or involved parent or parents?

 

In my opinion I would say as long as he is making the decision to see you then it’s fine.

 

But of course he may not have the disposable income to actually afford to hire you and he just doesn’t comprehend budgeting...since you mentioned he was a bit naive.

[MikeBauer]

Perhaps my most emotionally challenging appointment ever was with a client who had terminal brain cancer. His best friend (who was previously his partner), hired me to spend an hour with him in hospice care. He was within weeks of passing, and his friend just wanted him to have one last opportunity at intimacy. We didn't do much, mostly just laid naked and cuddled. He was in and out of awareness due to extreme cognitive diconence.

 

I left with mixed feelings, hoping that the memory and experience would linger, but also knowing that he will likely forget about it quickly. Either way, I celebrate that I got to share the time with him. His friend emailed me about a month later informing me of his passing and thanking me again for being there for him. I still tear up thinking about it, as I am right now, as I type this.

 

I want you to have my baby.

[GTMike]

Very interesting. Does he work? Social worker and/or involved parent or parents?

 

In my opinion I would say as long as he is making the decision to see you then it’s fine.

 

But of course he may not have the disposable income to actually afford to hire you and he just doesn’t comprehend budgeting...since you mentioned he was a bit naive.

Sorry, i wasn't clear. I'm the client, he's the Escort. I as the client think the Escort who is young and very handsome is naive and based on his past experiences he told me about, I concluded he was young and naive and/or not the sharpest tool, in the tool box at best, but more likely he's slightly autistic and highly functioning, and I struggle with the feeling that I'd be taking advantage of him. I'm basing that on past experiences he told me about and he doesn't quite seem to understand how and why they happened and it seemns like an aspect of how we humans can "read and process certain facial expressions and emotions and connect the dots critically to understand social situations" was off and he had trouble discerning intentions.

[BluDay]

Sorry, i wasn't clear. I'm the client, he's the Escort. I as the client think the Escort who is young and very handsome is naive and based on his past experiences he told me about, I concluded he was young and naive and/or not the sharpest tool, in the tool box at best, but more likely he's slightly autistic and highly functioning

 

That is a situation that had not crossed my mind before, to be honest. But if he's high functioning, I'd be inclined to think he's made a rational decision

 

I've met with escorts who I think are primarily motivated by the money they receive. In the wider scheme of things, how is this any different? He's made a decision based on whatever factors he finds important, so it's not like he doesn't understand. You said he does know what he's doing. So you are not taking advantage of him. In fact, any appointment he has with you will be safer perhaps than someone else, since you will have his well being in mind.