He cancelled and now I'm sad

[Wolfer]

I just wanted to get this off my chest so I can let it go and move on.

 

Last week I contacted a Brazilian guy who's located in Paris. About 250 miles from where I live. We hit it off instantly, from our texting it was clear we were sexually a great match and we set up a date for last Monday. I was to come to Paris by express bus for the day (just to see him).

Since we had a couple of days before our date I intermittently texted him my fantasies and my preferences and that made him even more excited to see me.

 

On the morning of the date, I get up at five and see he sent a text at 2am saying he's been feeling sick all night and has to cancel. But he offers to either refund my bus tickets or pay for new tickets so we can reschedule.

 

Since our interactions had been so great I decide to reschedule and so we start texting back and forth, everything seems fine. Then I go into work but don't bring my bone phone (which is my escort phone). When I come home I see he sent me a text a few hours ago asking me if we could Facetime. I reply that I'm available the rest of the night and would like to confirm for Saturday (the date we had been discussing to rechedule).

 

And that's six days ago. I have not heard anything from him... And yes, I'm a bit sad because the chemistry in our texts was palpable. As far as I can tell, he's fine, because he's logged in on Planetromeo and I've seen him online in Whatsapp...

 

I just find it odd how he can go from being so courteous and pleasant to... Well, ghosting me. I know, I know, move on. Which is what I am doing by posting this. I just wanted to have a bit of a pity party first.

So say: "Aaaw, I'm sorry to hear Wolfer. Looks like you were really looking forward to meeting him! There's plenty of other great, amazing guys out there!"

 

So I hired another guy last Wednesday who was back from Mexico and with whom I had had a wonderful date last time he was visiting Belgium. But now he was supertired (he had just arrived the day before after a 12 hour flight) and it was a heat wave and he hadn't showered, didn't have lube and it was obvious he was totally not into it.

The nice things were the cuddling and showering we did together before he rather forcibly pushed me out the door at the stroke of the hour.

 

OH. WELL. It's put me off of hiring again for a while. My bank account thanks me. Hahahaha.

 

Thank you for joining my pity party. Kiss, kiss, hug, hug.

[bigvalboy]

"Aaaw, I'm sorry to hear Wolfer. Looks like you were really looking forward to meeting him! There's plenty of other great, amazing guys out there!"

 

In all seriousness, you're going to be fine. This goes with the territory, as they say, so put all of this behind you and jump back in the saddle...

[+ José Soplanucas]

Always have a Plan B and a Plan C. Move down the list. Love the boys much, but not too much.

[Wolfer]

Always have a Plan B and a Plan C. Move down the list. Love the boys much, but not too much.

I did have a sort of plan B guy. Another Brazilian I've been eyeing for a while in Paris. But I couldn't reach him before I would've had to take the bus and also the wind got knocked out of my sails somewhat. So I decided to stay home and buy a guitar. I'm learning to play now.

[LaffingBear]

Always have a Plan B and a Plan C

Plan Bs for me:

 

Plan B1: if I'm at home - do nothing. Don't hire. Resist the temptation, because this situation is when I've let crotch-think and frustration drive bad decisions.

 

Plan B2: if traveling - have a backup rentguy identified, researched. Don't waste his time with alot of communications; it's not fair to waste his time on a maybe. And, remember that Plan B1 might actually be the prudent thing, even when traveling.

 

The older I get, the more likely I am to do something else (not someone else,) entirely if rentguy plans dissolve.

[bostonman]

I had a similar thing happen in a non-escort situation recently. I contacted a guy online, we had very similar interests and got into some very hot talk about some roleplay fantasies we'd explore together. This was on a Friday night, and he even emailed me early the next morning to continue the conversation.

 

Then at one point that day, the conversation just stopped. Cold. I emailed him a few times over the next few days - no response. I was actually rather upset because our conversation had been very intense and it really felt like we were majorly clicking.

 

I let it go.

 

Then recently - it had been about 2 months since the initial conversation - he emails me out of the blue. Claiming he had family issues to deal with, and was very sorry that he had been out of touch. (As far as I know he's a gay male in his mid 20's - no marriage or anything like that - so this wouldn't be a "dodging the wife" kind of thing. I figured it was an illness/death or something - understandable. He didn't elaborate, I didn't pry.)

 

I told him I had been bummed he had disappeared, but was glad he wrote back. We started up talking again, picking up where we had left off with barely a hitch.

 

After that night (it's been about 2 weeks now), haven't heard from him since. Same M.O. - he just stopped emailing - no heads up to say he might not hear from me, etc - just nothing. Again, I checked in once or twice - nothing.

 

I fell for it, whatever it was.

 

When he emails me again in another few months, no doubt, I won't be responding back this time. It's a shame, because the talk was incredibly hot - and very specific and detailed in terms of what we both liked. And he did seem to make it clear that he wanted to meet - that this wasn't just talk. But I guess ultimately it was.

 

In this day and age, I don't think there are many situations (even "family issues" etc) where one can't simply send even a very quick email, or txt, or whatever, to say "sorry, really busy, will be back in touch soon, just wanted you to know I'm still interested" or whatever. So I have to think that this "family issues" thing was just a flimsy excuse, and that he's either intentionally playing me, or that he's just in it for the fantasy talk until he gets off, or whatever. A real shame. But I have to let it go.

Edited July 29, 2018 by bostonman

[marylander1940]

I just wanted to get this off my chest so I can let it go and move on.

 

Last week I contacted a Brazilian guy who's located in Paris. About 250 miles from where I live. We hit it off instantly, from our texting it was clear we were sexually a great match and we set up a date for last Monday. I was to come to Paris by express bus for the day (just to see him).

Since we had a couple of days before our date I intermittently texted him my fantasies and my preferences and that made him even more excited to see me.

 

On the morning of the date, I get up at five and see he sent a text at 2am saying he's been feeling sick all night and has to cancel. But he offers to either refund my bus tickets or pay for new tickets so we can reschedule.

 

Since our interactions had been so great I decide to reschedule and so we start texting back and forth, everything seems fine. Then I go into work but don't bring my bone phone (which is my escort phone). When I come home I see he sent me a text a few hours ago asking me if we could Facetime. I reply that I'm available the rest of the night and would like to confirm for Saturday (the date we had been discussing to rechedule).

 

And that's six days ago. I have not heard anything from him... And yes, I'm a bit sad because the chemistry in our texts was palpable. As far as I can tell, he's fine, because he's logged in on Planetromeo and I've seen him online in Whatsapp...

 

I just find it odd how he can go from being so courteous and pleasant to... Well, ghosting me. I know, I know, move on. Which is what I am doing by posting this. I just wanted to have a bit of a pity party first.

So say: "Aaaw, I'm sorry to hear Wolfer. Looks like you were really looking forward to meeting him! There's plenty of other great, amazing guys out there!"

 

So I hired another guy last Wednesday who was back from Mexico and with whom I had had a wonderful date last time he was visiting Belgium. But now he was supertired (he had just arrived the day before after a 12 hour flight) and it was a heat wave and he hadn't showered, didn't have lube and it was obvious he was totally not into it.

The nice things were the cuddling and showering we did together before he rather forcibly pushed me out the door at the stroke of the hour.

 

OH. WELL. It's put me off of hiring again for a while. My bank account thanks me. Hahahaha.

 

Thank you for joining my pity party. Kiss, kiss, hug, hug.

 

I'm sorry about this but let me tell you this happens to escorts constantly, texting makes this flakiness easier.

 

Move on! Try finding a local or someone nearby.

[+ goosh69]

Also so many catfish liars.

[+ HornyRetiree]

I had a similar thing happen in a non-escort situation recently. I contacted a guy online, we had very similar interests and got into some very hot talk about some roleplay fantasies we'd explore together. This was on a Friday night, and he even emailed me early the next morning to continue the conversation.

 

Then at one point that day, the conversation just stopped. Cold. I emailed him a few times over the next few days - no response. I was actually rather upset because our conversation had been very intense and it really felt like we were majorly clicking.

 

I let it go.

 

Then recently - it had been about 2 months since the initial conversation - he emails me out of the blue. Claiming he had family issues to deal with, and was very sorry that he had been out of touch. (As far as I know he's a gay male in his mid 20's - no marriage or anything like that - so this wouldn't be a "dodging the wife" kind of thing. I figured it was an illness/death or something - understandable. He didn't elaborate, I didn't pry.)

 

I told him I had been bummed he had disappeared, but was glad he wrote back. We started up talking again, picking up where we had left off with barely a hitch.

 

After that night (it's been about 2 weeks now), haven't heard from him since. Same M.O. - he just stopped emailing - no heads up to say he might not hear from me, etc - just nothing. Again, I checked in once or twice - nothing.

 

I fell for it, whatever it was.

 

When he emails me again in another few months, no doubt, I won't be responding back this time. It's a shame, because the talk was incredibly hot - and very specific and detailed in terms of what we both liked. And he did seem to make it clear that he wanted to meet - that this wasn't just talk. But I guess ultimately it was.

 

In this day and age, I don't think there are many situations (even "family issues" etc) where one can't simply send even a very quick email, or txt, or whatever, to say "sorry, really busy, will be back in touch soon, just wanted you to know I'm still interested" or whatever. So I have to think that this "family issues" thing was just a flimsy excuse, and that he's either intentionally playing me, or that he's just in it for the fantasy talk until he gets off, or whatever. A real shame. But I have to let it go.

 

I expect that He is just getting off with the online communication - He cums, feels guilty and disappears until horniness consumes him again!

[Lchnsf]

It happened to me last night, now I have $300 in my wallet and no where to spend it!

 

It's hard when it happens, but in my experience it happens often. I look forward to the "rendezvous" but ultimately it is a business relationship and they lose the $$$ which has to be painful as well.

[Wolfer]

In this day and age, I don't think there are many situations (even "family issues" etc) where one can't simply send even a very quick email, or txt, or whatever, to say "sorry, really busy, will be back in touch soon, just wanted you to know I'm still interested" or whatever. So I have to think that this "family issues" thing was just a flimsy excuse, and that he's either intentionally playing me, or that he's just in it for the fantasy talk until he gets off, or whatever. A real shame. But I have to let it go.

That's what I think too. And I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. I also give second chances (especially if the connection is that good).

One of my friends ghosts people, I've not directly talked to him about it but from what I can glean is that he suddenly just doesn't want to deal with however the situation has evolved and it's just easier to ignore it than engage, even if only to let the other person know there's no longer any interest.

 

Update on the Parisian guy, by the way: when I came home from work today I had a missed videocall from him. So I text him back saying I was at work and he can call me back. I also called him back but no answer. He's been online since I've sent the text so he must've seen it but again... Silence. Hahaha. OH. WELL.

 

I'm sorry about this but let me tell you this happens to escorts constantly, texting makes this flakiness easier.

 

Move on! Try finding a local or someone nearby.

Thanks! Well, I haven't found a local guy who was so open (as he was at the start) and excited to discuss things...

And he's 6'4" (swoon), hahaha. I know it shouldn't really matter but I'm 6'1" and I don't get to share my bed often with guys that are taller than I am. (Okay now I feel shallow and superficial hahaha).

[Wolfer]

So! I'm going to Paris this weekend and have some fun activities lined up. Alas, the Brazilian guy has gone completely silent again after I missed his videocall.

 

But I had paid for the bustickets so why not go anyway? Paris, je viens à vous!