Too much of a good thing?

[KeepItReal]

I would like your thoughts on a rather unexpected event... A very hot, nice guy I hired while traveling texted me when he was in my home city and asked if I would be interested in seeing him. I was and I did. Fast forward a month later when the same thing happened. Again, we met and it was great (like really, really great, just like our first meet). Then he surprised me by suggesting that when he moved to my city in a few months, we should become fuck buddies. I was aware that we had *great* chemistry, but did not see that coming. I wasn't sure how to react - so told him I would consider it, to let me know when he had settled in. I also said I would help he move in if he needed an extra pair of hands (perhaps here I crossed a line??)

 

My questions to our resident experts: 1) have you ever suggested to a client to change the relationship from professional to something more casual? 2) how did the client handle it? 3) turning the situation around - has a client ever approached you with the same type of request?

[big-n-tall]

Not an escort...

 

However, one escort I see flat out told me I no longer had to pay to see him. I sometimes will give him money for parking or tolls when he drives to see me, but that’s about it. We don’t live near each other, but I suspect if we did we probably be more than fuck buddies. We’ve talked about it extensively. We are both receptive to a further connection. The talk happened so there isn’t any weirdness about the possibility of being more than what we currently are, relationship wise. I think he’ll always remain a friend, but if something more were to happen, I’d go for it without hesitation.

 

No other working guy has offered to be just fuckbuddies. However, I formed extremely close relationships with some. There is often deep discounts for time spent together. Not to mention, invitations to just hang out and visit (non-sexually).

 

Chris Eisenhower lived relatively close to me. I helped him move a number of times. I offered and he was happy for the help. So if the guy you’re seeing wants to be a fuckbuddy, offering to help him settle in isn’t crossing a boundary imho.

 

I say go for it. Enjoy the experience. Just make sure you know each other’s boundaries in terms of where the fuckbuddy situation is going.

Edited July 28, 2018 by big-n-tall

[BluDay]

3) turning the situation around - has a client ever approached you with the same type of request?

 

Also not an escort :/

 

I think this is a different situation. Suggesting a change of relationship status - from one man hiring another for time to them doing the same thing without money changing hands - is something the person getting the money should initiate. I think it would be great if any of the men I saw on a regular basis said "Hey, no more charge!" but if I suggest it, I'm asking a good escort to take money out of their pocket, to stop making the money they make off of me.

 

I know escorts who can totally convince you they are happy to be there, are having a great time, and can't wait for the next one. But it's all an act. It's part of the service. They may not, in fact, be turned on or be enjoying themselves. But they have a job to do and that job is making you happy and satisfied. This hobby is predicated on the escort being able to get into the moment with the client. In some cases, the escort really is attracted to the client. Or even if it's not a physical attraction, personally likes the client and enjoys his company. An escort who can leave you wondering if they were turned on and into you or if were just them doing their job has done their job well. Very well. So well in fact, that the client really doesn't know how the escort felt. This is good business. You might want a longer session next, or more frequent, or suggest (paid) other activities like dinner. This is a successful escort. It's like seeing a really good acting job, you can't tell if the actor is really feeling it or just acting.

 

When a client takes this good work and suggest becoming FBs or anything else, the escort is faced with having to tell them it's a business relationship. That strongly breaks the mystique that has been created. If the client never mentions it, the mystique can stay in place.

 

Suggesting not paying an escort for the services you have been paying for impacts the escorts bottom line. Any answer is a risk. If he agrees, he's lost the income he was getting from you. If he declines, he knows you may engage him less.

 

But, if the person who is suggesting the change is the one who bears the financial burden (in this case, the income) it's fine. In your case, this escort seems to have really connected and wants to go further. He likes you enough to give up the money. That means he's serious.

 

To be clear on my saying it's an act on the escorts part: I know it may not be, that escorts can be turned on and happy to be with their clients. My point is the good ones have the ability to fake it when they are not, and fake it so well the client does not know. It's a skill I don't have and admire those who do.

[LJNYC83]

I would like your thoughts on a rather unexpected event... A very hot, nice guy I hired while traveling texted me when he was in my home city and asked if I would be interested in seeing him. I was and I did. Fast forward a month later when the same thing happened. Again, we met and it was great (like really, really great, just like our first meet). Then he surprised me by suggesting that when he moved to my city in a few months, we should become fuck buddies. I was aware that we had *great* chemistry, but did not see that coming. I wasn't sure how to react - so told him I would consider it, to let me know when he had settled in. I also said I would help he move in if he needed an extra pair of hands (perhaps here I crossed a line??)

 

My questions to our resident experts: 1) have you ever suggested to a client to change the relationship from professional to something more casual? 2) how did the client handle it? 3) turning the situation around - has a client ever approached you with the same type of request?

 

I haven’t been doing this long so I’m no expert, but I did have a client who I was really attracted to and had great chemistry with sexually. So when he hit me up a few weeks later he said he wished he could book me but funds were short, and I said you know maybe we can grab a drink instead? Because I kind of liked you. So we agreed we’ll need a new how you met story but we are going to hang out.

[+ pdxleo]

My local preferred escort texted me a couple nights ago, asked if I were interested in grabbing a drink or two that evening. As I was going to Vancouver for a court hearing the next morning, I said sure, but just a couple- gotta get to the airport early. So, we met up and after a drink, his sugar daddy showed up, and we all ended up going to a straight strip club down the street. They were both regulars at this club, familiar to the doorman and servers- obviously not strangers there. So, we sat down, got drinks, and started visiting with the working girls. Then, my guy gets real chatty, giving me an "I love you dude, you gotta know that by now" all in front of his sugar daddy and the girls gathered round our table. Now, this guy has been a provider for me for several years, I always assumed he's gay-for-pay, has pictures of himself and his girlfriend of IG and Facebook, etc. Now, all this comes out, and I have to get ready for a court action in a few hours- totally flabbergasted by this outburst! He's been talking about relocating for the last few months, so I don't know if this is a hamfisted way of saying goodbye, or an opening for expanding our relationship- I'm SO confused! I'm back in Portland on Monday, and I know he'll be in touch, so it's going to be a weird night, wish me luck!

[big-n-tall]

My local preferred escort texted me a couple nights ago, asked if I were interested in grabbing a drink or two that evening. As I was going to Vancouver for a court hearing the next morning, I said sure, but just a couple- gotta get to the airport early. So, we met up and after a drink, his sugar daddy showed up, and we all ended up going to a straight strip club down the street. They were both regulars at this club, familiar to the doorman and servers- obviously not strangers there. So, we sat down, got drinks, and started visiting with the working girls. Then, my guy gets real chatty, giving me an "I love you dude, you gotta know that by now" all in front of his sugar daddy and the girls gathered round our table. Now, this guy has been a provider for me for several years, I always assumed he's gay-for-pay, has pictures of himself and his girlfriend of IG and Facebook, etc. Now, all this comes out, and I have to get ready for a court action in a few hours- totally flabbergasted by this outburst! He's been talking about relocating for the last few months, so I don't know if this is a hamfisted way of saying goodbye, or an opening for expanding our relationship- I'm SO confused! I'm back in Portland on Monday, and I know he'll be in touch, so it's going to be a weird night, wish me luck!

 

Could he have meant love in a plutonic sense? I guess it depends on what was said exactly, but I get a lot of, “I love you dude,” kind of responses from my regular providers. Except for the one I mentioned earlier in this thread, I’m certain the exclamation of love is from a standpoint of friendship/plutonic love or affection.

 

I definitely would have followed through and asked what he meant. I just am the type to like to know that kind of thing decisively.

[+ poolboy48220]

as @BluDay points out, if the request comes from you, it's tacky. But this came from the provider. I don't see any downside to this.

[KeepItReal]

My local preferred escort texted me a couple nights ago, asked if I were interested in grabbing a drink or two that evening. As I was going to Vancouver for a court hearing the next morning, I said sure, but just a couple- gotta get to the airport early. So, we met up and after a drink, his sugar daddy showed up, and we all ended up going to a straight strip club down the street. They were both regulars at this club, familiar to the doorman and servers- obviously not strangers there. So, we sat down, got drinks, and started visiting with the working girls. Then, my guy gets real chatty, giving me an "I love you dude, you gotta know that by now" all in front of his sugar daddy and the girls gathered round our table. Now, this guy has been a provider for me for several years, I always assumed he's gay-for-pay, has pictures of himself and his girlfriend of IG and Facebook, etc. Now, all this comes out, and I have to get ready for a court action in a few hours- totally flabbergasted by this outburst! He's been talking about relocating for the last few months, so I don't know if this is a hamfisted way of saying goodbye, or an opening for expanding our relationship- I'm SO confused! I'm back in Portland on Monday, and I know he'll be in touch, so it's going to be a weird night, wish me luck!

Good luck!! Hehe! I may have been overthinking things, but clearly you have a lot to think about!!!