What is the right question to ask?

[keefer]

I'm introverted and shy, so when an escort asks what I'd like to do, I fail to articulate what I'd really like to do... and it's normally only the third or fourth visit before a fun pattern emerges... After a session last week we were drinking wine and I asked -- how do other clients ask? And he laughed - saying more often than not it becomes a "... what do you want to do..." conversation back and forth... I naively asked - given that my imagination far outstrips reality, I'm surprised you never asked me about my favorite porn (of the moment)... and have you ever asked a new client what three or four scenes they really enjoy (and who they see themselves as being in the scene)... dead silence, immediately followed with "... that's brilliant..."...

 

When meeting an escort for the first time... how do you broach the subject of what you'd like to do (without just vague top/bottom/versatile)...

 

And when meeting a client for the first time... is there any tricks you use to find out before hand what they are really into - to turn a meet into an extraordinary meet???

[+ tassojunior]

A provider wants to know you're not trouble or hard. I tell them "don't worry, I'm easy." It may sound like setting yourself up but it isn't. It's what's running through his head with a new client when you're talking with him. Unless you're into violent S&M or serious kink, he's going to give you what he always does anyway. And if he's grouchy you can come back with "I'm an easy client but......"

 

Providers fear psycho freak clients. It only takes one.

[+ Avalon]

What about making a list beforehand of things you sexually like and don't like and then discuss it with him?

[+ Travis69]

What about making a list beforehand of things you sexually like and don't like and then discuss it with him?

Exactly!! Take the list with you if you want and hand it to the escort. Many people are shy about talking about sex.

[+ José Soplanucas]

My intro usually is something like:

 

"I am a dominant top. In my first meeting I usually like a vanilla boyfriend experience.

Do you like kissing?

Do you enjoy bottoming?

Can you make me believe you are into me?

What is the fee for your time?

Where is your place and do you live by yourself?

Are you available at.....?"

Quite often the guys thank me for my focused questions. I do not think we need a lot of talking, chemistry may always surprise you face to face, in a good or in a bad way.

[+ bashful]

I'm introverted and shy, so when an escort asks what I'd like to do, I fail to articulate what I'd really like to do... and it's normally only the third or fourth visit before a fun pattern emerges... After a session last week we were drinking wine and I asked -- how do other clients ask? And he laughed - saying more often than not it becomes a "... what do you want to do..." conversation back and forth... I naively asked - given that my imagination far outstrips reality, I'm surprised you never asked me about my favorite porn (of the moment)... and have you ever asked a new client what three or four scenes they really enjoy (and who they see themselves as being in the scene)... dead silence, immediately followed with "... that's brilliant..."...

 

When meeting an escort for the first time... how do you broach the subject of what you'd like to do (without just vague top/bottom/versatile)...

 

And when meeting a client for the first time... is there any tricks you use to find out before hand what they are really into - to turn a meet into an extraordinary meet???

 

I've struggled with that same question in my short experiences hiring. Not ready to entertain bottoming, older, average, inexperience, and sometimes lack confidence. I began hiring knowing they had more experienced, and without saying so to them, looked to them to take the lead on activities. Should have been more communicative. I've found the guys I hired, who advertise as versatile or bottom, haven't readily suggested I top them, or I was finished, or time was up before that could've happened.

 

A couple years ago, I decided to be more forthcoming in initial communication (i.e. don't bottom, would like to try topping, etc). I was surprised when one guy responded he'd be happy to bottom for me. Unfortunately, this was a few weeks before his arrival in town, and I caught a cold, so had to cancel.

 

Also, I've realized, for me, anal doesn't have to be part of the experience. Last guy I hired advertises as a top. Stellar reputation, and deservedly so. Told him I don't bottom. Found him to be a better experience than all the others.

 

All this doesn't mean I've given up on finding a bottom partner for an hour or two. Time will tell.