Possible stalker -- request for advice?

[adventurous old guy]

Hi, have an issue and bet I'm not a first.

 

I'm a consultant who travels frequently and hires when on the road, never at home. Contacted a service provider when traveling in March. Explained what I was looking for and told him a bit about me -- age, height, weight, the fact that I was very much a top -- in a RM email. He was up for it, so I shifted to text. The one time I was available, he was scheduled to work and I got an up sell - he'd take off a day of work if I would do an overnight. I said no, I wasn't interested in doing an overnight with somebody I'd never met before, plus I had to do my own job starting early the next day. I then got a hard sell -- I should take a chance because I'm exactly his type, he's a great bottom, he gets really into it and would deliver a great time and so on, way over the top. I said no thx, this won't work, thanked him for his interest and ignored a couple more follow up texts about this meeting. A few days later, he texted again proposing that he fly to my home in Chicago for an overnight. I responded thanking him for the offer, reminding him that again we had not met and I didn't want to do an overnight for that reason, and that I never hired when I was at home, it was a rule in my relationship. He then changed his offer to the effect that he would cover hotel costs if I could just do the plane ticket. So clearly this guy is an aggressive non-listener. I reiterated no, not interested, and wished him luck in life. It was firm and curt.

 

So, now I get about 2 texts a week from this guy, asking me how I am. I haven't responded at all with the goal of my silence communicating a hard stop to the back and forth. His texts haven't stopped, I got 2 over the weekend. Wondering what else I should try, or should I just continue the silence? If not silence, should I try a threat? Or should I make another firm reply of not interested, please don't contact me again. I have been almost this direct before, but not made the explicit request to desist in contacting me.

 

Btw, I'm not worried about being outed or any kind of blackmail. However, it has crossed my mind given his persistance that he is a whacko who can easily get my name and where I live and that he may just show up here one day.

 

Would appreciate advice. Thx.

[+ Avalon]

Do not threat! That could only make things worse. Can you block his messages? If not just continue to ignore.

[big-n-tall]

Just block his number on your phone. If he gets around that, then I would be more aggressive and change your number.

[Pulgasari1991]

You could inquire him about the reasons of his behaviour; pointing out how from your point of view the whole thing has become creepy and/or annoying, and above all how you can't make sense out of it (rightfully so, doesn't he realize how wacky he looks?). So that hopefully you can better understand who you're dealing with, and how to firmly, politely and reasonably write your way out of this with peace of mind for both.

Of course you might end up with no other option than blocking him anyway (which IMO sounds rather quick and safe), but it is my understanding OP doesn't want to just go straight for it.

[LivingnLA]

Calling him a stalker is a big much at this point. He's clearly persistent even pushy, but that could just be he's desperate or doesn't know how to negotiate professionally. If you feel comfortable, you could certainly try to provide constructive feedback.

 

Did you use your real direct mobile number? If so, then blackmail is certainly possible if he decides to post it online and/or use one of the many publicly available services to search for your name, address, etc. associated with the number.

 

If you used a disposable number, like a burner phone or voip number, then you can safely block him and not worry about ever hearing from him again.

 

If it was a real mobile number, was it for work or personal? How exposed are you? You can try continuing to ignore him and hopefully he'll eventually go away. If you do block him, it would be smart to setup an ongoing web search--google alert or one of the many reputation management services--for your mobile number so that you'll know if your number is ever publicly posted and what it's associated with. Good luck!

[MassageDrew]

Just thank him for the offers but indicate that you’d like to not be contacted at the moment, in a polite way. Just say you’ll contact him instead should another opportunity presents itself. Then leave it at that. Just ignore future communication from him unless you block him or change your number as others suggested.

[+ VictorPowers]

*Shakes Head*

So unprofessional of that provider.

[marylander1940]

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/possible-stalker-request-for-advice.138788/

 

2 threads on this?

[MikeBiDude]

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/possible-stalker-request-for-advice.138788/

 

2 threads on this?

Right? Getting weird @adventurous old guy ?

 

As stated in the other thread:

https://www.companyofmen.org/posts/1551531/like

[LaffingBear]

[Stormy]

I once had a stalker who threatened to kill himself if I didn't open up communication with him again. I went to the police about it and never heard from him again. I did check his Facebook page just to make sure he was still alive

[Nickf66]

All the more reason to use a burner phone or burner app like Hushed - you can change phone numbers frequently - easy to do. In fact, I “flush” my burner number about every two weeks. Impossible for stalkers to find you. And stop giving out your personal info like hometown. Father Nick forgives you.

[marylander1940]

I once had a stalker who threatened to kill himself if I didn't open up communication with him again. I went to the police about it and never heard from him again. I did check his Facebook page just to make sure he was still alive

 

you see @MikeBiDude and others: that's a stalker....