HoleTrainer

Yes. It’s the client’s responsibility to research thoroughly before hiring. If he decides to send a deposit to an unknown entity, or someone who is clearly playing games with him, that is his own mistake, not the mistake of every other escort who dares to require a deposit. Client who got scammed could accept responsibility and learn to research an escort better before agreeing to send a deposit in the future. Or could blame ALL escorts in existence and get offended whenever any escort requires a deposit, while continuing to pay deposits to other types of professionals in other industries. One shows maturity and personal responsibility, the other displaces blame for their negative experience to all sex workers which in my opinion is disrespectful.

Listen, if you’re hiring someone for an intimate encounter, the way you treat them leading up to the encounter is going to impact the quality of the service you get. It has nothing to do with being unprofessional. Escorts are human beings, not sex vending machines. If you start off the session in circumstances the escort is not comfortable with, you will not get the highest quality of service. You can choose to be in denial of this if you want but I’ve been in the industry for ten years and it’s a simple fact across the board, which escorts talk about amongst ourselves regularly whether anyone else feels the need to clarify it openly here to clients or not. The top performing escorts who can always deliver flawless service under any circumstances are the least likely to have to compromise on their booking requirements and end up in this situation in the first place.

Do you feel the same way when your surgeon, masseuse, gym trainer, or any other professional out there who bills on a per-session basis requires a deposit? Or is this a special business standard that you reserve exclusively for sex workers? Requiring a deposit has nothing to do with assuming that a client is a scammer and everything to do with assuming that things come up and people choose not to honor their commitments, as does every single other business out there who requires customers to pay a deposit or honor a cancellation policy. You should *absolutely* learn from clients who are scammed out of deposits by learning to do your research better and sticking to well established escorts who won’t scam you, who you can verify thru their online presence on multiple websites including this forum and their social media. Not by saying that no escort is trustworthy enough for a deposit because some people somewhere got scammed. As mentioned earlier in this same thread, I don’t require deposits for most meetings. But I would consider it a strike against anyone and would likely not meet them if they directly expressed that they will never pay a deposit to an escort. It’s just plain disrespectful in a world where most independent business professionals who work on a per session basis have deposit requirements or cancellation policies.

When an escort establishes a booking requirement, and a client refuses to comply, typically an escort will accept the booking anyway due to immediate financial need. Otherwise, an escort often WILL decline the booking for the reasons you mentioned. That’s exactly the point I was making above. If someone is only accepting your booking under circumstances that they are not comfortable with (no deposit), it is likely due to immediate financial need, and they are simply pushing thru their own discomfort to do what they need to do to make it work, so you shouldn’t be surprised if you do not have the best experience with them. That’s not a good feeling going into intimate work.

If a client has had a bad experience with getting scammed out of a deposit in the past, he should have the maturity to understand that he did not do his research on that particular service provider well enough. Deciding to never pay a deposit to any sex worker ever again because you got scammed by someone you did not research properly IS inherently disrespectful to me. End of story.

So you refused to show these guys the respect of complying with their requested deposit policy because you assumed before you even met them that they were trying to scam you and then you’re surprised that you didn’t have a good experience with them?? Gee, I wonder why... talk about starting things off on a sour note! They went thru with the appointments with you because they NEEDED the money badly enough to see someone who refused to honor their booking policy. There is absolutely no way anyone is walking into that situation giving their best performance. If you want an escort’s best performance, you need to comply with their booking policies and show respect during 100% of the appointment booking proceeds. Assuming that a professional is trying to scam you is disrespectful as hell. You may get away with it but obviously you’re not going to get the best experience out of it.

There’s a major difference between escorts and physicians. Their work isn’t criminalized. Ours is. Physicians have recourse to report unpaid fees to credit collection agencies. We do not. Comparing apples and oranges here. Business is supply and demand. If you don’t want to pay a deposit or Uber fare, then don’t. Plenty of other clients will. Most of whom are not reading this board because they’re too busy making money and spending it to care what other men think about how they choose to do so.

Sexting and meeting IRL are two completely different modes of expression and different people will be into each of them. If it is your goal to find someone to meet with IRL, then yes, OP, you WOULD be better off asking them to meet for lunch right off the bat. That way, if meeting IRL isn’t their thing, you’ll know immediately, before you invest a bunch of time and energy into a digital relationship with someone who never plans to actually meet you.

Honestly in my opinion it is OK to block someone with only one strike if they truly annoy you. For any reason whatsoever. Including no reason. In fact it’s a lot less damaging to your overall business to block a single person than it is to get resentful about the process of trying to communicate about a booking. Personally, when someone messages me outside of my preferred hours with a last minute booking request I know I can’t accommodate, I wait until later to respond, as any conversation I engage them with while they’re horny now is not likely to be relevant tomorrow. So if someone messages me at 11:30pm asking if I can come over (I’m usually in bed by 9 or 10), even if I see the message, I’ll wait until I’m having tea at 6:30am to send my response- that sorry- I was already asleep- but I am available today from X to Y time if they’re still interested in getting together. This tends to work out well for me as they usually do not even respond if they’re not interested. And sometime they are and they book. In fact, delayed responses are a major strategy of mine to cut down on time wasting and frustration overall in the booking process. One issue we as providers deal with that locksmiths are NOT dealing with is that many people get off on talking to us. Whether they’re real clients or not, time spent in conversation with us is part of the experience they enjoy and are paying us for. Or not paying us for, in the case of a true time-waster. If someone is annoying me via text or trying to engage in too much detailed conversation when we’ve never met and I’m not sure if we will, I heavily delay my responses and it helps a lot. I’ll wait until I don’t feel annoyed (even if it takes 9 hours) to type a response that gently redirects the conversation back to where I need it to go.

Maybe your mom was secretly a professional fisting top as well? 😜

I recently got a nice leather duffel bag to start carrying for Outcalls. I’m typically in sportswear or leather depending on the level of discretion needed, so this is the perfect intersection for me and I find it makes me look as tho I may simply be arriving back from the gym. Mine is covered in FF logos which is maybe not so discreet, but I simply couldn’t resist! 🥰 I doubt the average vanilla will have any idea which “FF” the bag is alluding to tho. My typical outcall kit: polymer lube like j or k lube, pre-mixed in a sports bottle, sealed in a ziplock bag creamy lube like elbow grease, often in 4-6oz containers for single use small silicone lube for conditioning and slipping into latex gloves 2-3 lengths of latex gloves, usually wrist and elbow length, sometimes bicep length if extreme depth is specified in inquiry (just added!) latex socks 😉 disposable black nitrile gloves - 5 per baggie stainless steel prostate wand at least one small dildo (smaller than the circumference of my hand) silicone pig hole(s) in sizes ranging from smaller than my hand to larger than both my hands electrical box, electrical pads, electric butt plug poppers vaporizers with a few different cartridge options travel size mouthwash emory board bluetooth speaker (just added!) phone chargers for both iPhone and common android phones (if hotel) travel size blue dawn dish soap (just added) puppy pads (if hotel) Clorox wipes for easy cleanup and disinfection (if hotel) Perrier or Pellegrino to offer client (if multiple outcalls) rubbing alcohol spray to sanitize toys after washing, otherwise I do this step at home (sometimes) leather gear to change into on arrival (sometimes) wedge pillow to create lift under the hips when no sling is available empty plastic shopping bags for neat re-storage of used toys that still need to be washed/sanitized at home I’m always expanding my kit and looking for more things to add. I’ve added a bunch of new things in the last few weeks so this was a fun thread for me to have an excuse to write out a whole list. 🥰

For me, the appropriate time to discuss details is once we have established that date/time/location/rate are a match. I don’t need to hear the details of your fetishes or past sexual experiences before we even check if the logistics are going to work. I may give guys who message me with lots of details about their sexual interests before discussing a date and time the benefit of the doubt, technically, but it is a major yellow warning flag and starts our interaction off on the wrong foot. I’ll usually ask for details myself once we’ve confirmed a date and time. I’ll usually frame it by asking about their experience level with my niche and asking if there’s anything specific that they’re excited to explore together. I do very much want to know these details going into our meeting so that I can mentally prep and tailor the experience as much as possible. I like phone calls a lot. I feel like I can get a much better idea of what our chemistry is going to be like in 30 seconds on the phone vs an hour texting. Can’t beat the efficiency.

This is likely due to increased wages for the lowest wage workers who make those lunches. Before the pandemic they may have been paying those workers $8-10 an hour depending on where you live, and now they might be paying them $15 an hour. I do think we are going to see prices for anything that RELIES on low wage workers earning poverty wages increase as those poverty wages are bumped up to something more closely resembling a living wage. As it should be...

Lol I was about to comment similarly. I paid a deposit to schedule my first massage with a new massage therapist. They were a stranger but came recommended by a friend. The recommendation from a mutual friend did NOT stop me from being required to make a deposit. I didn’t like making the deposit digitally. I would have preferred to pay the entire balance in cash. I started adding my deposit for the next session to my balance and tip at the end of my previous session just so I could take care of the deposit in cash. Never did I ever think that I should be offended that this service provider wanted me to make a deposit in order to schedule. Time is money. And in an unregulated industry without any accountability mechanisms, a deposit is the only way to ensure that your time is compensated for. If someone literally does sit around their Incall all day, or host from home, where they’re usually hanging out, I can understand not needing to require deposits. But it would be really nice if clients would be less offended when people in different circumstances do ask for them. For example, suppose I am renting a hotel room off dayuse to host every client, and it costs me $90 to do so. Is it really that crazy for me to ask for a $100 deposit before I do so? That’s not even compensating for my time. That’s gas money and hotel fee. Currently I don’t even ask for deposits unless I am arranging to travel far to meet someone. Because I feel that the request is treated with hostility and suspicion on Rentmen. All that said, with regard to the escort mentioned in the OP, although I feel for his frustration, there was no need to punch down at street workers and degrade them out of frustration over people questioning his deposit requirements. That’s kind of ugly.

Wow, maybe I need to check out Munich! I thought it was still too early to go to Europe, so this is good to hear. I am curious about how Berlin and Barcelona are doing with their opening up process. I do think that rates are going to settle higher. I’ve been able to charge more off RM right now in SF/NYC/Atlanta than I ever have before. I purposely raised my rates due to too much demand, as I needed to have natural days off in my schedule and I was getting booked almost every day. I’m still experiencing pretty good demand even at the higher rates. I still saw multiple clients a day on tour and walked away with a good profit. Rates in the gay side of the industry have been long overdue for a bump anyway. Women who escort have been charging 300-700 an hour for over a decade. I’m not saying that the average rate is going to go up that high, but I think people need to stop being shocked that the market will bear rates at the upper end of that range. 300-500 is a more reasonable average rate to match pace with the cost of living in most cities where rent is 1-2K+.

I’m pretty sure they don’t offer bargain rates on purpose to avoid attracting a type of client that might not fit in with the types who usually book there. Sometimes the rates are a huge bargain tho compared to the cost of booking a hotel room overnight when you only need it for a couple hours. $89 or even $109 vs $189 definitely feels like a great deal to me! I too love how convenient the site is to use. I used to really LOVE the recharge app when it was doing a similar concept except you could book rooms by the minute, meaning the less time you used them the less you got charged, and you could check out from your phone app as soon as you closed the hotel room door and left, and the charges would stop accruing immediately. It was the same thing with no cancellation fees and not being charged until you actually checked into the hotel. Unfortunately that idea didn’t work out or last. Hope something similar comes back soon tho as it was wildly convenient.

Lol I definitely wish I could tack on an upcharge when someone doesn’t bother to clean properly (not talking about imperfection here but total lack of proper effort), but I don’t wanna add even a smidge of anxiety about cleanliness to the minds of the guys who are already cleanliness-obsessed cuz they’ll be 100% clean and still stressing out about it the entire session otherwise. (My Current link:) https://rent.men/FFHoleWhisperer

Lol never encountered an “overtrained hole” before. Is there any such thing as overtrained? The more you train the more capable you become, generally. The most advanced trained holes I’ve ever met can do some truly amazing things... 😉

When I included the link it worked and I’ve changed my Rentmen handle since then is all. With the forum reorganization I haven’t been able to figure out how to edit my signature. I can’t even see signatures from my phone so wasn’t aware that the old link was showing for desktop users until yesterday.

No, he’s talking about me, using a gender-neutral pronoun. Or at least I assume that’s why “they” is being used since it’s clear that I’m a singular person hopefully. 😉 I’m on tour right now and left my laptop at home on purpose so I wouldn’t work thru the weekend. I will update the link in my signature as soon as I can get to a computer because I can’t figure out how to access signatures from mobile. https://rent.men/FFHoleWhisperer (will include this link at the bottom of my posts until then)

Lol thank you I suppose I could have done that as well 😅😋

Thanks- yes I’d like to update the link because I changed my handle on there to FFHoleWhisperer, but I can’t find the option to edit my signature anywhere in the new navigation/menu. But I also can’t even see any signatures either because I’m logged in from my phone.

Hmm doesn’t show on my phone in either view. That’s good to know that it still works on desktop tho! Hope we can get it working for the mobile version too.

I’m curious if we will be getting signatures back for forum posts where we can include our links too. I assume everything is a work in progress at this point tho.

I agree that I really wish we could post rates. A lot of other escort sites out there allow it, but unfortunately RM does not. I did add a line at the bottom of my ad stating that “I prefer quality over quantity and charge accordingly”. Hopefully that will at least stop the guys who are looking for a basement bargain from wasting their time and mine. I think because I look so young I still get a lot of guys messaging me who think they’re going to be able to talk me into spending the night with them for what turns out to be less than my two hour rate... If anyone can think of an even less offensive way to phrase this please let me know. The quality over quantity phrase does ring true to my personal experience as I can definitely give higher quality service when I only meet a few clients a week than when I meet one or more every day. Don’t want to come off rude tho. Just clear.