TallMuscl37

I’m still propositioning to websites: We need to move towards a Uber/Lyft model where clients are expected to pay SOMETHING upfront to book us. Mind you, when you book an Uber or Lyft, it’s no “I only do cash”. The entire amount is charged upfront. I only ask for $50/$100 deposit and some guys scared to even do that…but they expect me to pull out my credit card and book a hotel because they don’t want to book a room to host either. It’s like come on, it can’t be one sided. After awhile, you don’t want to keep playing the fool for a “potential” to earn money. I would do better gambling $100 on lottery tickets, than on a hotel where I have no appointments pre-booked that day. If we can pay for ads with our card, clients can book an appointment with theirs. You can go to dollar general, or dollar tree and buy a prepaid visa/master card. It doesn’t have to be tied to your main account. And I wouldn’t mind deposits to go towards ad costs and platinum boosts. Or some other way of outsourcing the funds to make it accessible to us. I know it can be done, the pressure just needs to happen. I know it probably can’t be as refined and play by play like Uber is (obviously when you contact Uber, you have multiple people ready at that moment and the point of contact requires less time than an actual client/escort encounter). But having dozens of RentMen messenger replies that don’t lead to an appointment? This isn’t Grindr. We pay to advertise and sometimes pay just to provide accommodations. Guys on Grindr don’t go book a hotel to host. I see it all the time around town, “I CAN’T HOST” even though there’s dozens of hotels in the area. Clients should be putting down nominal fees to request a booking with us. This culture of expecting the escort to spend, spend, spend their own money before making a dime, and the client being stubborn and unwilling to provide a deposit, let alone a picture of themselves…needs to stop. One can only be played for a fool for so long. The only way that model can work, is if you’re a single gay guy in the city with your own place. And majority of your clients are only within a few miles away. In San Francisco and New York perhaps. But not every escort lives alone in the Big city. Some can’t host or need notice to host, others like myself travel to different cities for business because their home market is dead or dried up. I can’t afford to work without deposits because that would be too much gambling. I stopped booking in-calls without a deposit, because many will cancel last minute on hosting escorts (I got called into work is a favorite line).

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And that has to do with me how? Nice that you find it convenient to relate me to something that wasn’t even referencing me. Never said it was. I’m just saying what I know and have discussed as it pertains to communicating on apps. The attention spans can be short. And if I’m trying to meet clients from the platform and most are anywhere from 1 to 3 hours away from where I reside, I don’t have all the time to go back and forth to get tidbits of info. I rather have those details first upfront and then be able to quickly figure out whether this is someone I can accommodate today, or not.

Jeffrey Dahmer is just one possibility. Other possibilities is cop, time waster, cheap guy with only $100 to pay for bareback, list goes on. Fact is: non of it is good intent IF the person asks my location ON RENTMEN MESSENGER IN HIS FIRST EMAIL. I deal with this shit all the time. I use Grindr sometimes. I can tell a fake dude from a real one. The “where you at” guys are likely weirdo creepers. They may not be dangerous or ill intent, but they just don’t have the right motives. When does anyone ever start a conversation with “where are you located” without disclosing anything about themselves? I’m not saying clients have to be perfect communicators in every way, but it’s the basic things that matter. When my auto reply went to him, he should have texted me and responded to the questions asked. Many of these guys choose to ignore basic instructions, which just creates miscommunication and resentment. Female escorts asks for WAAY more than I do. They want employment, linked in, ID, references. Gay clients need to get with the program. I’m not even asking half of those things, and these guys turn their nose up. Again, as discussed in previously closed thread: I think a big issue of a lot of my roadblocks is the area. These Midwestern, sheltered dudes have absolutely no game or skill on how to approach a male sex worker of color. It’s hard work. I recognize that, but I hate when people on the forum try to denigrate and dismiss the difficulty of it. Once I get to a more conducive market, hopefully this stuff will be in the past.

And I’ll say one more thing: lot of these “non deposit” guys, they often are more afraid of what they want, it’s less to do with a deposit. It’s their insecurity and ignorance towards sex workers. As if we can’t be responsible enough to be trusted with payment ahead. That’s why stuff like “fuck first, pay after” is used so commonly around here. But what they don’t tell you is, the times people have done just that, and either didn’t receive payment or only gotten partial payment.

Thankyou, I never asked you to in the first place. I don’t know why you felt the need to to make that sly comment on the other thread. Fact is, I did not assume everyone has to “align” to my preferences anymore than you stated: “Personally, I choose not to pay deposits or prepay for services. I've had experiences in the past that taught me this lesson.” That right there gives the impression that you had bad experiences paying deposits (likely because you didn’t do you due research) and are trying to allude to others not to do so. That said, if you don’t want me to address you: don’t address me. Farewell to yourself, I never invited you to respond to my posts, especially if you going to come with an attitude trying to call me out ✌️

Since some people on here think everything I say rubs them the wrong way, I’m just going to quote reference what other providers have to say: An Escort Explains Deposits GOODCLIENTGUIDE.COM Flaky behavior, no-call no-shows, and last minute cancellations have become so common that providers seek to... “The costs of hotels and other overhead expenses have also risen. Rents have spiked; it’s now extremely expensive, often prohibitively so, for many providers to rent a separate apartment for incalls, for example. Online advertising is now much more expensive. We also incur other expenses to see you: fuel and transportation, childcare, turning down other paid work and other appointments, and so on. Again, these costs are often tied to a singular appointment, so we need you to show up or to be financially compensated if you flake. Many factors, too, have led to the apparent rise in overall shenanigans. We may get a lot of inquiries, but a high percentage aren’t serious. Chalk it up to whatever you like – the overall erosion of trust and the social fabric amid a global pandemic, climate change, war, economic jitters, an overall culture of ghosting, etc, etc. But the vibes have shifted. Serious clients differentiate themselves by putting down a deposit” And I think specifically: @JamesB, @Trick, @BostonDadType, and some others need to read this because: y’all are taking it a bit too far making statements that aren’t true. Educate yourself, before you accuse someone of something ✋🏾 🛑 I refuse to pay a deposit. What should I do? Only contact providers that don’t require them; then show up for the appointment 100% of the time. If all clients did this, providers would not have to ask for deposits.

Meh, I know it sounds like a reasonable question…but it’s not. It’s not the question that’s the problem, it’s the way it’s being asked. It’s creepy, lazy, and gives me absolutely no reason to give out anything about where I’m staying. People who don’t formulate complete sentences in a response usually aren’t serious or, 50/50 chance of being so. Also, since the person hasn’t volunteered any info on themselves…I have to ask something. Suppose I just give out my location, to a complete random from RM messenger, and he has bad intentions. How would anyone know who he was. Why do you think it took Jeffrey Dahmer so long to be found… Dahmer targeted LGBT people whose lives weren't valued by police - The Washington Post WWW.WASHINGTONPOST.COM What many depictions miss is that LGBTQ communities of color were easy prey for Dahmer due to histories of... This is where being educated and informed…even if there is no danger present, comes in handy.

Yeah, I just think some (gay) people have short attention spans. It just amazes me how detailed I have to explain stuff to people everyday. Like earlier, someone thought I was “already in town” even though the city he asked about was in my nearby travel cities. I’m like dude, no. I’m not about to travel hours away for $200. And no…I’m not just arriving magically into a city and hanging out waiting for guys to call. That requires gas, hotel, food, and then somehow have to stay entertained in between clients. It’s not something that’s done by default with no clients Pre-booked. I’ve been the fool and did it many times, sometimes I still do because I want to go to a city for reasons other than clients: but then I’m waiting days to get the first real booking. I can’t explain it any more than I have already tried to explain it a million times. Rentmen and RentMasseur doesn’t even give us enough space to talk about these things in the profile. I’m trying to move towards a different model of business where I’m available by appointment only, and willing to travel. But if people can only think in the “now” and assume before actually getting the facts, it can get confusing. I realize part of the issue lies with the websites. It’s not always the clients or the escorts fault. It’s the communication platform has somehow not been sufficient in conveying to clients how providers work individually.

That’s how it should be. No drama. You have a day in mind, and a time…If it doesn’t work I’ll offer mine. And we either can or don’t.

And here’s an example I refer to of WHY I don’t like to use messenger and give specific directions to contact me: Dude sent message at what, 20:57 on a Saturday, which is almost 9 p.m. at night. I didn’t notice until 11:15 the next morning. Now notice the single ✅ versus the double ✅✅? He never read the last message and ignored my auto reply with direct info to text me. I never received any text message, but it wouldn’t of mattered either way because I don’t take short notice meets in that area anyway. Can’t make anything happen if they ignore the directions 🤦🏾‍♂️

I clearly let them know in the RentMen messenger reply that I don’t set up appointments on there, and that I leave my phone number and all other instructions/details to book the session. Now: for the record, I stopped posting my phone number on my ad, especially at the suggestions of a couple members here and other places I’ve researched. The RentMen messenger is more of an optional luxury that I use simply because of the auto reply feature. Now, RentMasseur email: I’ll use it and engage very briefly because it tends to be a bit more thorough in the responses. But most rentmen messages are far too “Grindr” like for me sit around all day and entertain. Now, as a courtesy I’ll occasionally respond to their message and let them know I received it and answer their question…but will add to still text me directly to arrange something because, most seem to be looking to meet for that day or, I don’t know when they want to meet and I can’t gauge it from simply communicating on the app. The app is simply a facilitator to the next mode of contact. I do not make appointments from it because it’s not really conducive.

This may not pertain to those who have limited or no nudes posted: but in my case I already have an array of pics and people still ask me for private pics without even greeting me. I stopped unlocking pics long time ago. The requests get my auto reply with all relevant information. If and when RM decide to pay us to have our private gallery unlocked, then I’ll entertain. For now, it’s just simply MY private gallery where I release pics I want to move to public, and rotate out. But I had to go thru last year and deny like hundreds of requests to unlock…many who have no picture of their own. My business is not a free peep show. Even though, for the most part they are getting exactly that. But I just try to stay true to the game and still show people what is relevant. And majority never do. That’s the sad part about it. And the ones who do text, 99/100 be playing games too. That’s why I had to revamp my auto reply as stated to eliminate ANY possible confusion or non sense: like huh? Who said I was staying anywhere? No introduction or anything. Like I’m just supposed to give out an address? This is why they get auto responses.

I have been petitioning RMass and Men for awhile to change the “available now” to options like “available today/available tomorrow”. I also find “available now” rarely gets me the immediate business I want anyway. However I do it anyway because it makes the profile appear more “live” and active. I have seen profiles that haven’t even been logged on for days/weeks, and it could give a “not available” impression (if they read it much). In fact I’ll occasionally use “not available” if I’m really just not wanting to be bothered during inclement weather, holidays, or if I am planning to visit an area but don’t want to get any “u available now in (insert city 500 miles away)” This is also where I try to explain to people: simple-stupid isn’t always the best policy. People think having one rate, one availability option, one everything just works. Naw. Give people options. People want things to be so simple but, they get confused on the simplest things in the process. Even Amazon has: paid shipping, free shipping, 2 day, next day delivery. I get it that gays want things to be easy and no brainer, but reality doesn’t work like that. Available now shouldn’t even be a vocabulary in online conquests. My availability is not a bath house, where I’m waiting outside the door holding a big green sign 🪧 AVAILABLE NOW. And guess what people say when they see available now? “Hi are you available now?” 🤦🏾‍♂️

Well that’s why I often try to ask questions always, in a 1. 2. 3. format because, it’s too much room for error. I would have been sure to know exactly where I was going/city all upfront. But then again that’s why I like to see text exchanges. It’s not to be messy or put anyone on blast, but when there’s 2 sides of a story, it’s easier to see what/how things might have went miscommunicated. Like the buffoon last week texting me some bogus bullshit at 3 in the morning. But what I didn’t show is: his 2 week delay in response to my last message. That’s why I was like: fuck your advice, he can’t even respect my time why I would I take anything he has to say as relevant? ✋🏾 Anyhow, how did that relate to RentMen messenger again? lol

Yikes, that’s a big stretch of a difference in location for sure. Hopefully it can be made up for…

So this is the response that goes out each time I get a response on RM messenger. But what do some do? Start having a mini conversation with the auto responder, and don’t text as instructed. I’m asking for a very specific way to contact, and leaving my number and link to my website at the end. Someone did the exact same thing yesterday, and I didn’t even notice it until the next day because I was busy anyway with plans. But the kicker was, the time he offered was simply: “asap” in a city that’s listed in my nearby travels and is 3.5 hours away; which I don’t offer same day appointments in generally. I’m finding it seems RM messenger guys might be hesitant or avoidant to give out their number. Idk why but, I would not meet anyone off solely the app unless they arranged a deposit and picture and even then, they would likely have to exchange their number unless it’s email only. I feel if someone is going to treat the booking process like it’s un-important, how are they going to turn out during the actual meet 🤔

That’s how I felt about St. Louis… I had fun here and there, but the past few months have almost been a waste of time to even stay. I left behind 0 true friends and only a couple true regulars. It’s a lot of fake nice, and last week I reached out to a previous client letting him know I was in town available: he tells me “I knows you’re in town, you don’t have to contact me, I’m not available”. Well he’s right, I won’t be contacting him again because I won’t be back anytime soon ✌

This is all relevant however, even outside of LA and New York, some of the same scenarios are playing out. I notice for example in the Midwest: many ethnic/minorities tend to marry/get involved with White guys who have money instead of escort. I notice it a lot. As for gay guys with discretionary income: meh. The problem is, many of those don’t want to spend it on sex. Many will play like they don’t have money to give, but then turn around and spend thousands on trips and other things with friends. I’ve said it elsewhere here, but I’ve started to realize selling *** is hard. Not because they don’t want me, but because getting the rate I want…And at a time that is convenient for both. Regardless, I’m looking for alternatives to the big cities. I don’t want a rural town necessarily because, that’s the position I’m in now and NOBODY wants to pay for it out here. I’m always having to commute to the city. But they always want same day/short notice meets, and I can’t work like that everyday.

That’s a perfect analogy (brought famous by Hell’s Kitchen, kitchens nightmares, Gordon Ramsay lol). Even though one may know how they like their meat 🥩 presented (pun intended lol), try doing it around 20 others in rapid succession. Whole other ball game (I’ve also experienced working in the dining industry myself). Honestly though when I seen it, I almost wanted to block him because I wasn’t interested in what he had to say, considering how he has been with planning appointments. I’m almost considering no longer working in the same state/city I live anymore. It’s just too many weirdos. Every time I look around, somebody trying to fight and argue and bring drama. If it has to be that bad, why are they even hiring? Idk who they’re angry with but taking it out on sex workers is just bad karma and is going to get them 86’d from the locals. In the past 4 weeks, I’ve had to simply go to other cities and meet clients. There was no fussing about deposits, they were easy and agreeable, and I didn’t have to fight them (even though I was trying to convey to one that: I’m 3.5 hours away, if you want the appointment TODAY, I need the confirm by such and such time, otherwise it’ll be late.

Bravo 👏🏽 And he’s lucky I even responded as professionally as I did because if it was the other way around and I did the same thing to a client, who I didn’t reply to in almost two weeks, they’d probably say: “No. I don’t need your advice, and don’t ever text me at 3 in the morning again!” lol. People think just because they are well off or feel they have more money than me, that somehow I need to “listen” to them, who hath not the same experience. I don’t even know what advice he was giving me, but at 3 a.m. it didn’t matter because I was sleep and iPhone’s DND 🎧 didn’t wake me up for it either lol But I must say, this happened to be in the same city that never fails to bring about the weirdest shit in clients. It is just unbelievable. They stay bugging and high maintenance. Reminds me of a song from back in the day: ”You make me want to throw my pager 📟 out the window” lol.

But yet, so many do the exact thing that pushes people to do exactly that smh 🤦🏾‍♂️, example (me in blue): I’m just ranting but, this is the type of stuff I come across and what I mentioned about “fragile client ego”. It’s so many things wrong with this conversation: #1: why is he texting me at 1 and 3 a.m. with advice unsolicited anyway? #2: It’s been almost 2 weeks since he replied to my last message, from when he was emailing me trying to figure out where did I go (I went away b/c I got tired of dealing with dweebs like him that proliferate that city’s client market). The audacity of some. It’s crazy how people expect so much positivity out of us, yet some of the main ones keeping up the most drama and animosity be the clients. I’m at peace in my zone, not even in the same city…and he’s harassing me over something I don’t even know what he’s talking about. I haven’t even seen him since January…2 months? 🤦🏾‍♂️ And this is somebody who on our first (and last) meet paid for an overnight, but I noticed he was going a bit too heavy on the 🚬 and may explain the late night courage. There needs to be a client review website, otherwise I’m about to come up with a page myself. And Twitter is a good 🎺, but I notice some people get scared off when I post warnings. However, the ones who are legit know better and do their best not to end up on it in the 1st place.

Good idea. I said the same thing last week when someone reached out asking if I could drive to a town an hour north of a city I was visiting, to see him. But then I asked for a deposit, and he’s like “no I been burned before.” So I said: well no, I can’t see you then. But guess what? I’ve been burned before too. We’re both taking similar risks, there’s no reason I can think of that I need to shoulder the heavier burden of it by driving out of my way, or when renting rooms to host. Lot of hotels these days, it costs $150/$200 just to use a room for one night, by the time the added “deposit” that the hotel requires is added. If a client says they aren’t comfortable/don’t feel like sending deposits, they have to consider the upfront stuff we to have to spend to entertain. Clients aren’t the only ones who can get scammed. If a provider has a standing in-call spot he also lives in, or works for a company that fronts their travel and hotel cost: maybe clients who show up are just a perk and it might not be a big loss if they don’t show up. In my case, I’m going full time hotel hosting starting this week until I find my next city to move to…so, it’s hardly an option to do without.

Okay time to break that drought lol. 2024-40= 1984, I wasn’t around then but I know many great music was around lol 🕊️ Installment loans have grown in popularity and some of us even take credit 🤑

Here’s more deposit literature from another industry: How to protect your business from no-shows and late cancels | Glowday WWW.GLOWDAY.COM Deposits and charging for consultations. These are two aspects of owning and running an aesthetics...