loremipsum

As it transpired, it didn’t have any. The bitch lucked out. When I crash at his place I sleep on it, though I sometimes find the kitchen floor more comfortable (his is a studio apartment). Unfortunately, I myself had bed bugs in 2013 — got them from spending far too much time at the apartment of two friends who had them, who in turn got them from a mutual friend who got them from her mother. All of these friends were escorts (I wasn’t at the time). One of them intimated to us that sometimes when they had a client in their bed while doing the deed, a bed bug would crawl across the sheet and they’d take pains to carefully conceal it from the client as surreptitiously as possible, flick it off the bed, crush it with their finger, etc. Eek. Before this I never even knew that bed bugs were a thing, aside from the “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite” rhyme, which took on a whole new meaning for me. I, unlike my indolent friends, took immediate action. I went to Home Depot and purchased both small glue traps specifically made for bed-bug infestation, and a huge bag of diatomaceous earth, which I spread liberally all over my apartment, the crevices of the couches, and the perimeter of not only my bed frame but also the perimeter of my mattress. That’s right — I slept in the middle of a rectangle of the powder. Got rid of them pretty quickly. Some pay for professional fumigators and still have problems eradicating them, so I suppose that I, like my street-furniture-collecting friend, also lucked out.

I lived in West Hollywood for a couple of years after graduation. Lots of people left decent-looking furniture or television sets out on the sidewalk when they were done with them (it’s a relatively well-to-do area, so I suppose most weren’t particularly inclined to sell anything on Craigslist to recoup any costs). As I was walking with a friend up to my apartment, we happened upon a beige armchair on the sidewalk. My friend stopped short and began examining it. “Oh no,” was my immediate thought. I told him No, it may well have bed bugs. But he persuaded me to help him stuff it in his BMW, which was parked in my complex’s garage. He no longer has the BMW. But he does still have that armchair.

I thought something along these lines too; I read about a sting — the police officer arrested a female prostitute the moment she took a condom out of her purse.

Finally unsubscribing from a slew of mailing lists that pollute my inbox with extraneous emails. Sometimes you have to be your own hero.

Some might — with good reason, to be sure — advocate undergoing a healing period before even considering hiring again, but I personally think that a good experience ASAP would be most helpful. Hire someone with multiple good reviews, meet in the hotel restaurant, etc. And yeah, no money upfront. If this completely sours you to your hobby, the bad guys win, in a way... I think that a particular old adage could be applicable here: “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

Scam. My condolences. Scammers are growing bolder and bolder. Incidentally, there are real (corrupt) cops in Tijuana who find a pretext for arresting someone, then just ask for money in exchange for release. It’s happened to a couple of friends of mine. But yeah — those were actual cops. Yours was not. And like an earlier poster noted, legitimate undercover operations are generally composed of several people, or so I’ve read. I’ve also read that they are recorded, so a real cop wouldn’t ask for a bribe, I think... Anyway, I hope this doesn’t haunt your psyche too much. That sucks.

I don’t smoke, but I’ve had a few edible chocolates and Marinol pills before. After ingesting them, many thoughts passed through my mind which I deemed quite profound. So profound, in fact, that I felt compelled to write them down to perhaps subsequently work them into the book I intend on someday writing. I didn’t seem to retain enough motor function to write down my thoughts in my ...heightened... state, so I said them aloud, recording them. I cringed the next day when I listened. There was no trace of profundity and the “astute” cogitations I thought I had were banal and obvious and borderline-ridiculous. I later learned that this was an experience shared by many. That’s not to say that your observations are completely without merit, but I was irresistibly reminded of it all, my quasi-stream-of-consciousness state, when you stated that you were “stoned” and didn’t know whether you were making sense. Good times.

I apologize for the lack of clarity. I meant any escort. I suppose I should have used “an” rather than “the.”

So basically the escort’s performance with different persons can be wildly variable and it’s all right with you? This seems unfair to clients. Perhaps a good way to prevent this phenomenon is for clients to open the line of discussion with a prospective hire with a “I read your review(s), and it sounds like we would mesh, because x, y, and z was said about you, and that pleases me.”

I had a client who used to be an escort. He too worked through an agency. But yeah, now he’s a client using the Internet. Circle of life, eh?

Is it inherently presumptuous for I, an escort, to post in this thread, as doing so essentially takes for granted that I am a “top provider”? It is proffered every now and then — and I don’t feel slighted at all, if that’s what you’re wondering. I’d actually prefer being offered it every time, just because. I turn it down when I’m absolutely sure that it would be totally redundant. Not too long ago a client took out a syringe immediately upon his arrival and shot it directly into his package. He said that the effect is very nearly instantaneous. He offered it to me as well. I’m not a big fan of needles and at that point in time I wasn’t cognizant of it being a legitimate drug, so I declined. I might be open to it in the future, but certainly I’m not keen on using the same needle as another.

The travesty in this hybrid of Fair Lady/Mary Poppins mishegas, involving the same actors, was that Julie Andrews originated the role of Eliza Doolittle in the theater, and yet Hepburn received the film role. Andrews got hers though, when she won Best Actress for Mary Poppins and Hepburn was not even nominated (the films were released the same year).

Not to fret — the Brit in my estimation who serves as the exemplar of my favorite accent is Cary Grant ?

The hwrain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.

Cellblock13

I love how the bios of some Grindr guys address a certain subset/group of gays and add “to the front of line.” As if there’s really a line of people waiting to get into their pants.

I used to belong to a teen forums site akin to this one (much different content, of course). As teens, we discussed frivolous thoughts and related anecdotes whenever they stomped through our brain through the medium of a “Random” thread. As an adult, I feel the same inclination, however, and Facebook isn’t exactly a diary — though some people certainly regard it so and act as such, which is fine — I just thought it might behoove the community to have a thread similar to the one to which I used to be privy. So... Let the randomosity commence!

Yes, and by some it is also referred to as the Transatlantic Accent.

I wonder if I am the only one who laments the extirpation of the affected Locust Valley Lockjaw accent.

“The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent.” -Stanley Kubrick

To be fair, it should be noted that he did pronounce that he hopes that the boy isn’t, among his people, unique in a substandard way, lest he had to endure a childhood of uncharitable mockery. He also graciously thanked you for your well wishes. ?

Why not expressly ask that the masseur have fresh, clean sheets ready for your encounter with him? He can easily call on the hotel receptionist to arrange for a changing whenever he wishes.

Better a cynic than a chump. Don’t get down on yourself, OP. I’ve had many a client tell me to follow my gut. It’s the right route to go, protecting yourself. You feel you’ve pushed him away? If you think this guy is actually bona fide, and you’re still desirous, by all means extend an olive branch — but don’t feel melancholy if he balks.

I’m ready and waiting with bated breath. (By the way, it’s loremipsum — just pointing that out so as to ensure that you don’t lose your way to my page, ipso facto precluding our meeting.) ?

I’m empathetic. I’ve known that people make great misuse of this adverb since I was around eight years old. Same goes for “literally,” which I believe was also in 2012 deemed acceptable by the powers that be. Not hot.