Been hearing some judgment of a couple of guys who are married to women, and best buddies... and a long term couple on the side. Some of the gay men I know warn of doom and getting caught, saying they should come out now. (They are in their early 50’s.) Some get very judgy and say “How dare you make decisions your wives don’t have a say in.” They contend that it’s actually less selfish of them to stay married and make sure that the wives remain blissfully in the dark, happy, and feeling loved - than divorced at 50. Their contention is that the guys would marry and live a pretty great life, despite some local scandal - but that the women will suffer financially as well as to have more difficulty (statistically) finding new partners. This makes sense to me. It actually does seem less selfish to lie to the women and cheat with each other while making sure the wives have a good life, than to break it up for their own ability to move on. Assuming the women have no STD risks, and the guys are not living a sad life of “less than”... could it be that this is a good situation, despite all of my moral learning? The guys seem so happy as best buddies publicly- and I know privately they are very much in love. Has me thinking...