I agree with jawjatech, you sound like a dream client...and whatever rate he offers, I'll undercut it by 10%.
As a hardcore top, I love feeling a bottom cum while I'm fucking him. Not exactly analogous to the feelings
you describe above, but damn close. It can be intense and amazing, and I think I understand what you're
trying to describe.
However, I don't enjoy coming in a condom. I play safe, but I've always hated the feeling. Fucking?
No problem, condoms don't bother me at all. Cumming? I don't just dislike it, I hate it. I always feel
like my balls aren't free to empty all the way. Worst part is, the more turned on I am and the harder
I cum, the worse the sensation gets. Sometimes, it's even a little painful. So the times I'm having the
most fun always end on a sour note if I try and cum in the condom.
So it's become almost routine for me to get as close to cumming as I can and then pull out, rip off the
condom and finish off by hand on the bottom's ass. At this point I'm so into it, it almost qualifies as a fetish.
Also, for much of my adult life, most bottoms wouldn't let you cum in their ass, even with a condom
on. That's changed significantly in the past decade, but at the time it was a big deal, and I got used to it.
I've noticed a few bottoms get disappointed by this. Some go as far as to blame themselves. As if their ass
wasn't good enough to get me off 100%....which of course is insane.
So there you have it. I'm not sure it helps. I thought it might be interesting to hear the story from the
side of a top, who is VERY committed to keeping his bottoms happy, but sometimes can't.