samhexum

Think he could quench your thirst? Would you scratch my itch? He looks much better in the pic above. http://www.fanphobia.net/uploads/fun/2104514977_nothing_sexier_than_a_man_with_tattoos..._good_tattoos_though_lol.jpghttp://www.cozzifantutti.com/modfab/fashioncares.jpg Trying to secure a date for movie night What a beautiful (urban) landscape! What a beautiful (tropical) landscape! What a beautiful (rural) landscape! GOT ROPE? (and seriously, is that waistline for real?!?!?) http://www.styleglamor.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Full-Body-Tattoo-Ideas-for-Men.jpg Tat-two for the price of one http://nakedgaypornpics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/MenofMontreal-tattoo-muscle-hunk-big-cock-naked-men-Alexy-Tyler-Mam-Steel-monster-cock-inked-bad-boy-top-man-009-tube-video-gay-porn-gallery-sexpics-photo.jpg I am NOT having sex in the kitchen-- NOW STOP POUTING AND GET UP! You seem to be breathing hard- Let me check it out Aren't you supposed to be looking at my tats?

The congregation of a burned-out Brooklyn synagogue has received a heartwarming Hannukah gift — more than $20,000 in donations. Rabbi Baruch Yehudah stood outside his charred Bnai Adath Kol Beth Yisrael synagogue Wednesday to hail the community and promise to restore the red-brick house of worship. “I am thankful to you all,” Yehudah said, standing beside several congregation members. “Here we are on the first day of Hanukkah, and we want you to know we have rededicated ourselves ...We don’t plan to be gone long.” The Patchen Ave. temple in Bedford-Stuyvesant went up in flames Nov. 14 after workers trying to repair a leaky roof inadvertently ignited tar with a blowtorch. The fast-moving inferno raged through the roof and attic of the nearly 150-year-old building, leaving gaping holes and raining debris into the synagogue. “No matter how cold it may seem when a fire of this magnitudes guts a historical location ... the warmth of this borough has really wrapped around members of this synagogue,” said Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams. The congregation is still a long ways away from raising the $1.5 million listed as the goal on a GoFundMe page dedicated to the temple’s rebuilding. The weekend after the accidental fire that devastated a Brooklyn synagogue, members of the congregation drew together and labored through the night. The congregation at B'nai Adath Kol Beth Yisrael on Patchen Ave. in Bedford-Stuyvesant bought sheets of plywood and hammered it up to cover entries and secure the damaged 150-year-old building, as required by the city. “We all gathered at the templ and just prayed,” said Kalelah Cooper, who works for the Department of Probation. “I said, 'Dry your eyes. Roll up your sleeves. We have to rebuild.’” In some ways, the moment was instructive of the often rich, sometimes tattered history of the predominantly black synagogue. "The history of the building ranges from horror to absolute joy," said Rabbi Baruch Yehuda, 47. It all started in Harlem in 1919 by Wentworth Mathew, an immigrant from the West Indies. He founded a rabbinical college in 1926 to teach rabbis, and eventually produced more than 40 who found homes in synagogues around the country. Mathew believed that his movement was returning blacks to a religion that they had practiced long before. He was also influenced by the black nationalist teachings of Marcus Garvey. But his movement was never accepted by the European-American Jewish institutions. He was twice denied entry into the New York Board of Rabbis. The congregation's current politics run the gamut from liberal to conservative. “Racism doesn't fit into Torah,” Yehuda said. “When white Jews walk into our synagogue they are welcome." The beauty of our community is that we don't throw anybody away,” he added. Founded in 1954 by a disciple of Mathew, B'nai Adath moved into the Patchen Ave. building in 1967 and paid off the mortgage in seven years — with congregants mortgaging their own homes to help the synagogue. The congregation now has about 200 members, and there are five other black synagogues in Brooklyn. “There are as many of us as God needs,” Yehuda said. “Coast to coast, you'll find us.” It became the home for hundreds of weddings, bar mitzvahs and brises. There was a soup kitchen that fed 100 people a day kosher food complete with flowers in vases and waiter service. “The life cycle events that took place there are countless,” Yehuda said. “I had my own bris there and I'm no spring chicken. I circumcised three of my own sons in that building.” Starting in 1999, the building began to show its age. In 2006, the east wall was damaged following a storm, and a fundraising campaign began. Meanwhile, real estate speculators hovered like crows. Yehuda said he got three calls from people wanting to buy the building on the way to the fire. “After all the fund-raising, for it to go up in smoke is heartbreaking,” Yehuda said. The building was in the middle of a $4.5 million renovation when the fire broke out and chewed the upper part in minutes. Yehuda called it “liquid fire that ran down the beams from the east to the west walls.” Police believe a roof contractor hired by the synagogue accidentally set the fire. “It was his first day,” the rabbi said. “He just set his tools up. He hadn't been working for 40 minutes. The whole place has to be gutted.” Firefighters rescued the Torahs before they even knew the building was safe, but the scrolls suffered some water damage. Yehuda credited the FDNY, Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams, Public Advocate Letitia James and 81st Precinct Deputy Inspector Winston Faison with lending support. “Now we have to wait for the engineer so we can request permits to do the necessary work,” the rabbi said. “We have a total vacate order. Nobody can get into the building.” The police charged one of the contractors, Caesar Raynor of Dutchess County, with reckless endangerment for using a blow torch on a flammable roof. The synagogue is in negotiations over who will pay for the damage and is trying to raise money through a GoFundMe page, which has raised $12,345 out of $1.5 million sought through Saturday. “We are homeless,” Yehuda said of his congregation. “It was heartbreaking. We wept.”

Ahhh... the title of this thread brought me back to being sweet 16, visiting NYC's plethora of porn theaters pre-AIDS.

For heaven’s sake, move! A wealthy widow who had bit parts on “Charlie’s Angels” in the 1970s has been squatting in her dead hubby’s luxury apartment at the ultra-tony Pierre Hotel — even though the pad was sold for $9.85 million more than a year ago. Tara Kulukundis, 73, refuses to hand over the keys to the Fifth Ave. home — despite the executors of her spouse’s estate telling her to get out. Fed up with her stalling, executors Albert Sigal and Barbara de Mare filed a petition in Manhattan Surrogate’s Court on Friday asking a judge to issue an order booting Kulukundis from the high-end home. The executors said they and a buyer agreed to a sale on the apartment in September 2016 and Kulukundis’ refusal to leave could cause the deal to collapse. “More than one year later, (Kulukundis) has refused to vacate and turn over the Pierre apartment or, aside from a single visit on Nov. 17, 2016, even to permit access to the Pierre apartment to the (executors),” they said in an affidavit. If Kulukundis’ luxury squatting sounds familiar, that’s because she pulled the same stunt at her husband’s $25 million Southampton mansion in 2013. The executors had to go to court to pry her from that home — which was under contract for sale at the time. If Kulukundis doesn’t move out of the Pierre Hotel apartment, she could bankrupt the estate with her mounting bills, according to the executors. The estate currently shells out $19,200 a month to cover her maintenance bills at the apartment. That figure doesn’t include the $6,000 a month the estate pays for her personal chauffeur, housekeeper and other staff. In their petition, the executors make clear that Kulukundis wouldn’t end up homeless if she were evicted from the Pierre. They said they’ve offered to find her a suitable rental apartment and pay for it. The widow also owns a recently renovated apartment at the Sutton House in Tudor City. But Kulukundis sees that place more as a “giant walk-in closet” than a place to rest her head, the executors say. Kulukundis’ husband, shipping magnate M. Michael Kulukundis, died in 2010, leaving behind $81 million worth of real estate. But he had multiple mortgages totaling $61.7 million, which has forced the executors to sell his properties in order to fulfill his wishes of caring for his wife for the rest of her life. The estate and a buyer inked a sales contract on the Pierre apartment on Sept. 26, 2016. The buyer has already plunked down $2 million. But if Kulukundis doesn’t move soon, the deal will go belly up and the estate will have to return the money, the executors say. They also say there’s been a financial toll from Kulukundis clinging to homes. “In the recent past, the estate has incurred hundreds of thousands of dollars in moving and storage costs to assist the recalcitrant (Kulukundis) out of a five-story townhouse on E. 67th St. in Manhattan and a five-acre beachfront house in Southampton,” the executors said in their filing. Kulukundis did not respond to a request for comment. A lawyer for the executors also did not respond to a request for comment.

It’s not the pits in the United Kingdom. Last week, the posh UK supermarket Marks and Spencer began selling a special avocado that has no pit, freeing Brits from the danger of slashing their hand as they attempt to slice around the creamy fruit’s massive seed. Sadly, they’re nearly impossible to find in the US — a fruit-spotting app reports a sighting at a Santa Monica, Calif., farmers’ market last February, but such instances are rare — leaving Americans to risk life and limb to make avocado toast. British people, meanwhile, are going crazy for them. The fruits, which are grown in Spain from an unpollinated blossom that develops without a seed, are flying off the shelves at the 149 Marks and Spencer stores across the United Kingdom that carry them. I had to visit four different stores to get my hands on a pack of “cocktail avocados,” as they’re called. When I eventually tracked them down ($2.60 for a pack of seven, about what you’d pay for two larger fruits in London), I’m stunned by how small they are. Absolutely tiny — they’re barely 3 inches in length, about half an inch in diameter and the shape of a pickle. They feel the same as a typical avocado and are slightly squishy at the ends when ripe. A knife slides easily through the skin and flesh without meeting any obstructions. Everyone’s favorite health food is no longer a death trap. The taste isn’t quite the same. The cocktail avocados are lighter, more watery and a bit sweeter and fruitier than their larger cousins. The skin is supposedly edible, but it’s so bitter, I almost spit it out. I try them a few different ways. Mashed on toast, they’re OK, but not quite as rich and delicious as a big avocado. Marks and Spencer suggests deep frying them, but that just ends up being a greasy mess. But, they really excel when it comes to guacamole. That slight cloying feeling of a normal guac, where it sticks to the roof of your mouth, disappears. Cocktail avocado guac is light and surprisingly refreshing. It’s also a bit of a pain to make if you need a decent quantity, as you have to scoop the flesh out of several small fruits rather than just scraping a big chunk out of larger one. As someone who’s managed to never hack off her hand while pitting a regular avocado, I’m sticking to the original — it’s more versatile. Americans shouldn’t be jealous of the UK’s tiny fruits. Avocado-lovers everywhere should just brush up on their knife skills and enjoy the full-size version with proper precautions. Lorraine Fisher is an avocado-lover based in London

What are those? Pride flag gift bags?

It would be faster and easier to grow a tree from a seed, chop it down, mill it into paper, process it into wrapping paper, and pay somebody to wrap your presents for you.

Dear Abby: My husband and I treated our 24-year-old granddaughter to dinner and a historical city tour. When we stopped by to pick her up, she came out of the house wearing a skin-tight top that laced up the front, with a 3-inch gap from top to bottom and no bra. My first reaction was to ask her to change, thinking it was highly inappropriate. Her grandfather thought we should just let it go, so we went out for the evening. Nothing was mentioned regarding her attire, but I was extremely uncomfortable. What is your opinion? Buttoned Up in Indiana Dear Buttoned Up: Your granddaughter is an adult. For you to have asked her to change clothes would have been awkward for everyone concerned. While her choice of outfit may have been revealing, if there was any embarrassment, it should not have been yours. If you prefer she dress more modestly when she’s with you, the next time you invite her to go someplace, say so. Dear Buttoned Up: Your granddaughter is a whore. For you to have asked her to change clothes would have been inconvenient for her johns. While her choice of outfit may have been revealing, she can write it off as a business expense. If you prefer she dress more modestly when she’s with you, buy her a burka. Dear Abby: My husband met a gal 33 years younger than he is at a doctor’s office. It seems they “became close,” so they went off and bought real estate together in another state. They spend weeks at a time together there alone. When they are both here in town, they have “business” meetings several times a week. I am not allowed to attend, know when they take place or even ask what was discussed. They never have phone conversations while I’m near, and their texts to each other are “none of my business.” My husband’s words: “I don’t know why you’re so mad; you’re just jealous.” Your thoughts, please? Peeved in California Dear Peeved: You live in a community property state. Half of your husband’s share of whatever property he and this woman bought together belongs to you. My first thought is your husband is having a fling and lying about not knowing why you are angry. He’s right that you are jealous. You have every right to be. My second thought is that you should consult an attorney ASAP. I don’t know how much you know about your husband’s finances, but a forensic accountant can help you unearth any assets he may be hiding or has already buried. After that, it will be up to you to decide whether you want to continue in a marriage with someone who would treat you so shabbily. Dear Moron: My first thought is that you're a moron. My second thought is that you 're a moron. My third thought...

Earth lost a truly unique species when Benjamin, the last known thylacine — commonly called the Tasmanian tiger — died in captivity in early September of 1936. Despite an impressive number of alleged sightings of the animal in the years since no actual documented examples of the species have been found in the wild for nearly a century. Now, thanks to some incredible advancements in DNA research, some scientists believe we could actually bring the species back from the dead. A new study published in Nature Ecology and Evolution announces that scientists have finally been able to obtain the complete nuclear genome of the thylacine species, revealing an impressive amount about the creature’s ancestry. According to the study, the dog-like marsupial was only very loosely related to modern day canines, having shared a common ancestor some 160 million years ago. It was an incredibly special animal and a branch of the evolutionary tree that stood out on its own. “They were this bizarre and singular species. There was nothing else like them in the world at the time,” one of the researchers, Charles Feigin of the University of Melbourne, Australia, explains. “They look just like a dog or wolf, but they’re a marsupial.” Using thylacine pup which was preserved in alcohol after its death over a century ago, geneticists were able to document the species’ full genome. That’s big news for researchers who want to learn more about the Tasmanian tiger’s distant past, but others are already more focused on their potential future. Andrew Pask, an Associate Professor at the University of Melbourne, believes that sequencing the thylacine’s genome is indeed a huge first step towards helping it turn the tables on extinction. “It is technically the first step to bringing the thylacine back, but we are still a long way off that possibility,” Pask explains. “We would still need to develop a marsupial animal model to host the thylacine genome, like work conducted to include mammoth genes in the modern elephant.” At present, the technology that would allow such a thing to be done doesn’t exist, yet, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be possible in the very near future. As Pask notes, the idea of sequencing a genome was also unfathomable a couple of decades ago and researchers are working towards a future where extinct animals could be brought back under certain circumstances. The thylacine would really be an ideal use of such technology, given that humans were undoubtedly responsible for its demise in the first place. The species, which was already showing signs of struggle when the Australian continent was settled en masse, was pushed to extinction on the mainland but thrived on Tasmania. There, farmers put bounties on the tiger for fear that it would attack sheep and hunters ruthlessly wiped them out, with only a few captive animals remaining in zoos until those eventually died, too. “Ethically, we actually owe it to species like that, the species we wiped off,” Pask says. “If we could bring it back, we should.”

http://www.queerclick.com/caliente-img/images/2012/08/tumblr_m7odjndOmi1qed306o1_500.jpg https://i1.wp.com/gaycomicgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/plopping-dick-18.gif https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bv2NtvHCUAAKIE5.png http://33.media.tumblr.com/c6d342f7ab4f4f0f2655eb8698482997/tumblr_nfztc2WLpn1qb18qmo1_r2_250.gif http://cumm.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/best-sex-bbc-wanked-ejaculation-control-wanking.gif http://fringefamily.typepad.com/.a/6a0105364a8fba970c017ee5c5dd45970d-800wi http://www.welovenudes.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/straight-hung-webcam.gif

But how many of you remember that there was once a hit song about a man with great proficiency in this particular area?

I like this song, but it's more fun to sing "Owner of a deadly fart..." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsx3nGoKIN8

It depends on how expensive dinner was!

Perhaps this will get you 'up'... https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/happy-hanukah.131551/

It was the party of a lifetime. A Japanese businessman with terminal cancer held an “end-of-life” shindig Monday so he could thank the people who made his time on Earth special. Satoru Anzaki, the 80-year-old former head of manufacturer Komatsu, threw the bash for 1,000 friends, colleagues and former schoolmates after learning in October that he has gallbladder cancer. Rather than mourn, he decided to cut a rug. “I have enjoyed my life very much. I thought that being despondent is not in my nature,” he told a new conference after the bash, according to the BBC. “I am satisfied that I could say ‘thank you’ to people I encountered in life.” Anzaki got the grim news that he had a form of cancer that could not be treated by surgery in October, but by Nov. 20, he’d taken out an ad in financial newspaper The Nikkei heralding the party, according to The UK Telegraph. “As I want to maximize the quality of life during the time I have left, I have decided not to receive treatment given the side effects,” Anzaki said of his decision not to seek chemotherapy. He threw the party in a Tokyo hotel decorated with memories from his life, and even brought in a group of dancers from his home prefecture of Tokushima to keep the mood from dipping, it was reported. “I am also suffering from an illness so it got me thinking how I want to live the rest of my life,” one former employee told national broadcaster NHK.

Some Xmas classics are timeless!

You should never end with a line like that. It begs for a reply of "that's what your (insert female relative of your choice) said.":D:cool:

That's a funny looking cock.

DOROTHY: It's like riding a bike. ROSE: I never learned how to ride a bike. DOROTHY: It's like falling off a bike. ROSE: Oh, that I can do. DOROTHY (to Blanche): Just a hunch... Proving once again that there is no situation in life (even picking out my mother's casket) in which I can't quote Golden Girls.

When Mohamad El-ahmed saw a surgeon for a potential penis enlargement operation, he received a surprising response: the surgeon refused to operate on him. “He just said, ‘There’s nothing wrong with your penis. I see much smaller penises every day — you don’t need it.’” Although it was a revelation — another clinic had been extremely pushy in persuading him to get the operation — El-ahmed still harbored a desire: “To be frank, I just really wanted it to be as large as possible, like a porn star!” But learning the gory details of the typical penis enlargement procedure completely freaked him out. He quivers as he recounts it: “They told me they cut under your [testicles], go in six inches and cut something inside to make the penis hang lower. To make it thicker, they de-glove your penis from the base up and insert plastic things to make it bigger.” At the end of the procedure, there’s no guarantee of how much length you’d get so he decided it not worth the risk or price, which is as eye-watering as the procedure itself at $22,600. El-ahmed didn’t have anxiety issues — “I’ll drop my pants for anyone,” he said — but he describes his penis as a “grower” rather than a “shower.” Although there were never any complaints from lovers, he believes “there was room for improvement.” When Man Cave Sydney started offering a revolutionary Penile Girth Enhancement procedure, El-ahmed, 36, jumped at the chance. There was just one catch. The man has to be fully erect as the procedure takes place, via a Viagra-like injection 20 minutes before. But it didn’t phase him: “I have no problems with nudity,” he said. The new procedure is currently only offered by two venues in Australia. Dr. Sara Kotai, medical director of Man Cave Sydney, described why it could attract more men than the current penis enlargement operation. “It’s non-surgical, minimally invasive, and fully reversible, with minimal downtime so men can increase their girth in an hour without scalpels, stitches, general anesthetic or hospital stay,” she said. It’s also considerably cheaper than traditional surgical methods, starting at $2,200. “Filler injections are used under the skin of the penis to instantly increase girth (it is placed between the layers of fascia),” Kotai said, describing the procedure. “Filler is also known as hyaluronic acid — these are the same fillers traditionally used in lips and cheeks.” “It’s a soft gel-like substance that occurs naturally in the body. A standard treatment can increase the flaccid girth by one inch, and erect girth by between a half and a whole inch, with effects lasting 18 to 24 months.” When the effects wear off after about 18 months, you can come back to do it again. El-ahmed is already booked in. “What they do is magic. There’s a massive width improvement — at least half an inch,” he said. “Length is bigger by a little bit — from about six to seven inches. I’m 100 percent more confident.” During my visit to Man Cave Sydney, El-ahmed instantly dropped his dacks and showed me a “before” shot on his phone. The difference is definitely noticeable. It has certainly helped El-ahmed’s love life: “I get lots of compliments from women saying that’s the biggest or best-looking one they’ve ever seen. You hear that and feel over the moon!” He said he has shown his new, bigger version to his friends and they’re in awe. One has booked the procedure for himself. But does it hurt? “We use a blunt needle known as a cannula,” Kotai said. “Hyaluronic acid is injected into the areolar tissue of the penis. Then gentle but firm pressure will be used to manipulate the filler into place. Little to no pain is felt as a topical anesthetic is applied prior to numb the injection sites. Laughing gas can also be administered if required.” El-ahmed said: “The thought of needles in your penis freaks you out but the pain is only a four on a scale of 10.” The after effects, though, are “tender and sore” and the product takes a week to settle so must be massaged, despite the tenderness. “That’s the only downside,” he added. When I asked El-ahmed if he thought society’s pressure on men led them to think they need to go through such procedures in order to be validated, he was nonchalant. “I think we should be more like women — if we want Botox, penis enlargements, hair transplants, we should go and do it like women do,” he said. “We get pressured to have the body beautiful too — from billboards to social media.” Before his pants come back up again, El-ahmed told me about another downside he’s thought of. “The biggest problem I never considered was finding a condom that fits. I can’t. They break halfway down. Even XXL doesn’t fit me now,” he said.

When Mohamad El-ahmed saw a surgeon for a potential penis enlargement operation, he received a surprising response: the surgeon refused to operate on him. “He just said, ‘There’s nothing wrong with your penis. I see much smaller penises every day — you don’t need it.’” Although it was a revelation — another clinic had been extremely pushy in persuading him to get the operation — El-ahmed still harbored a desire: “To be frank, I just really wanted it to be as large as possible, like a porn star!” But learning the gory details of the typical penis enlargement procedure completely freaked him out. He quivers as he recounts it: “They told me they cut under your [testicles], go in six inches and cut something inside to make the penis hang lower. To make it thicker, they de-glove your penis from the base up and insert plastic things to make it bigger.” At the end of the procedure, there’s no guarantee of how much length you’d get so he decided it not worth the risk or price, which is as eye-watering as the procedure itself at $22,600. El-ahmed didn’t have anxiety issues — “I’ll drop my pants for anyone,” he said — but he describes his penis as a “grower” rather than a “shower.” Although there were never any complaints from lovers, he believes “there was room for improvement.” When Man Cave Sydney started offering a revolutionary Penile Girth Enhancement procedure, El-ahmed, 36, jumped at the chance. There was just one catch. The man has to be fully erect as the procedure takes place, via a Viagra-like injection 20 minutes before. But it didn’t phase him: “I have no problems with nudity,” he said. The new procedure is currently only offered by two venues in Australia. Dr. Sara Kotai, medical director of Man Cave Sydney, described why it could attract more men than the current penis enlargement operation. “It’s non-surgical, minimally invasive, and fully reversible, with minimal downtime so men can increase their girth in an hour without scalpels, stitches, general anesthetic or hospital stay,” she said. It’s also considerably cheaper than traditional surgical methods, starting at $2,200. “Filler injections are used under the skin of the penis to instantly increase girth (it is placed between the layers of fascia),” Kotai said, describing the procedure. “Filler is also known as hyaluronic acid — these are the same fillers traditionally used in lips and cheeks.” “It’s a soft gel-like substance that occurs naturally in the body. A standard treatment can increase the flaccid girth by one inch, and erect girth by between a half and a whole inch, with effects lasting 18 to 24 months.” When the effects wear off after about 18 months, you can come back to do it again. El-ahmed is already booked in. “What they do is magic. There’s a massive width improvement — at least half an inch,” he said. “Length is bigger by a little bit — from about six to seven inches. I’m 100 percent more confident.” During my visit to Man Cave Sydney, El-ahmed instantly dropped his dacks and showed me a “before” shot on his phone. The difference is definitely noticeable. It has certainly helped El-ahmed’s love life: “I get lots of compliments from women saying that’s the biggest or best-looking one they’ve ever seen. You hear that and feel over the moon!” He said he has shown his new, bigger version to his friends and they’re in awe. One has booked the procedure for himself. But does it hurt? “We use a blunt needle known as a cannula,” Kotai said. “Hyaluronic acid is injected into the areolar tissue of the penis. Then gentle but firm pressure will be used to manipulate the filler into place. Little to no pain is felt as a topical anesthetic is applied prior to numb the injection sites. Laughing gas can also be administered if required.” El-ahmed said: “The thought of needles in your penis freaks you out but the pain is only a four on a scale of 10.” The after effects, though, are “tender and sore” and the product takes a week to settle so must be massaged, despite the tenderness. “That’s the only downside,” he added. When I asked El-ahmed if he thought society’s pressure on men led them to think they need to go through such procedures in order to be validated, he was nonchalant. “I think we should be more like women — if we want Botox, penis enlargements, hair transplants, we should go and do it like women do,” he said. “We get pressured to have the body beautiful too — from billboards to social media.” Before his pants come back up again, El-ahmed told me about another downside he’s thought of. “The biggest problem I never considered was finding a condom that fits. I can’t. They break halfway down. Even XXL doesn’t fit me now,” he said.

When Mohamad El-ahmed saw a surgeon for a potential penis enlargement operation, he received a surprising response: the surgeon refused to operate on him. “He just said, ‘There’s nothing wrong with your penis. I see much smaller penises every day — you don’t need it.’” Although it was a revelation — another clinic had been extremely pushy in persuading him to get the operation — El-ahmed still harbored a desire: “To be frank, I just really wanted it to be as large as possible, like a porn star!” But learning the gory details of the typical penis enlargement procedure completely freaked him out. He quivers as he recounts it: “They told me they cut under your [testicles], go in six inches and cut something inside to make the penis hang lower. To make it thicker, they de-glove your penis from the base up and insert plastic things to make it bigger.” At the end of the procedure, there’s no guarantee of how much length you’d get so he decided it not worth the risk or price, which is as eye-watering as the procedure itself at $22,600. El-ahmed didn’t have anxiety issues — “I’ll drop my pants for anyone,” he said — but he describes his penis as a “grower” rather than a “shower.” Although there were never any complaints from lovers, he believes “there was room for improvement.” When Man Cave Sydney started offering a revolutionary Penile Girth Enhancement procedure, El-ahmed, 36, jumped at the chance. There was just one catch. The man has to be fully erect as the procedure takes place, via a Viagra-like injection 20 minutes before. But it didn’t phase him: “I have no problems with nudity,” he said. The new procedure is currently only offered by two venues in Australia. Dr. Sara Kotai, medical director of Man Cave Sydney, described why it could attract more men than the current penis enlargement operation. “It’s non-surgical, minimally invasive, and fully reversible, with minimal downtime so men can increase their girth in an hour without scalpels, stitches, general anesthetic or hospital stay,” she said. It’s also considerably cheaper than traditional surgical methods, starting at $2,200. “Filler injections are used under the skin of the penis to instantly increase girth (it is placed between the layers of fascia),” Kotai said, describing the procedure. “Filler is also known as hyaluronic acid — these are the same fillers traditionally used in lips and cheeks.” “It’s a soft gel-like substance that occurs naturally in the body. A standard treatment can increase the flaccid girth by one inch, and erect girth by between a half and a whole inch, with effects lasting 18 to 24 months.” When the effects wear off after about 18 months, you can come back to do it again. El-ahmed is already booked in. “What they do is magic. There’s a massive width improvement — at least half an inch,” he said. “Length is bigger by a little bit — from about six to seven inches. I’m 100 percent more confident.” During my visit to Man Cave Sydney, El-ahmed instantly dropped his dacks and showed me a “before” shot on his phone. The difference is definitely noticeable. It has certainly helped El-ahmed’s love life: “I get lots of compliments from women saying that’s the biggest or best-looking one they’ve ever seen. You hear that and feel over the moon!” He said he has shown his new, bigger version to his friends and they’re in awe. One has booked the procedure for himself. But does it hurt? “We use a blunt needle known as a cannula,” Kotai said. “Hyaluronic acid is injected into the areolar tissue of the penis. Then gentle but firm pressure will be used to manipulate the filler into place. Little to no pain is felt as a topical anesthetic is applied prior to numb the injection sites. Laughing gas can also be administered if required.” El-ahmed said: “The thought of needles in your penis freaks you out but the pain is only a four on a scale of 10.” The after effects, though, are “tender and sore” and the product takes a week to settle so must be massaged, despite the tenderness. “That’s the only downside,” he added. When I asked El-ahmed if he thought society’s pressure on men led them to think they need to go through such procedures in order to be validated, he was nonchalant. “I think we should be more like women — if we want Botox, penis enlargements, hair transplants, we should go and do it like women do,” he said. “We get pressured to have the body beautiful too — from billboards to social media.” Before his pants come back up again, El-ahmed told me about another downside he’s thought of. “The biggest problem I never considered was finding a condom that fits. I can’t. They break halfway down. Even XXL doesn’t fit me now,” he said.