samhexum

When I was a young'n, the family went to a kiddie park whilst on vacation. I must've been 5 or 6, I guess, maybe 7 (8 tops, for sure). I went on a ride where you drove miniature antique cars around a track. The cars were actually gas-powered, and mine ran out of gas right smack in the middle. An attendant had to come out with a gas can. I stayed calm. What a champ! It didn't stop me from driving, though I failed my road test the first time. It wasn't until this very moment that I realized it was because of the trauma that I had buried since that day long ago.

I remember in elementary school I had to say Massachusetts for some reason, and it came out Massa-two-shits unintentionally. The teacher just smiled. I was watching a Mets game a long time ago and broadcaster Ralph Kiner was referencing the Charlotte Hornets basketball team for some reason, and he called them the Charlotte Harlots. Any embarrassing/funny examples y'all can think of?

Isn't that how Donald met Melania in Atlantic City?

You can also ask about those who went in the opposite direction... They HAD careers in showbiz, then 'transitioned'. The only one who springs to mind is Steve Marks, who went from weatherman in Chicago to porn star. Don't know if he ever escorted. http://pornstars.biguz.net/pics/f31d57494ba5b5d3cb422ed0b7cc9aa6/Steve+Marks+Falcon+Studios+Other+Side+of+Aspen.jpg Or, of course, this guy, who only did one straight porn video and never escorted to my knowledge:

Zoom is changing (in a bad way) how you follow the Yankees By Bob Klapisch | For NJ Advance Media “Do you actually talk to the players?” I’ve heard that question a lot throughout my career, which started back in the Stone Age. At least it feels that way, considering how much has changed, not just in the way baseball is played but in how it’s covered and discussed. Thanks to COVID-19, interviews have been limited to Zoom, which is like industrial-strength FaceTime. All reporters, including your competitors, are on the same call. I know, it’s not exactly hard labor, but good baseball writing requires more than Hemingway-like skill at the keyboard. The real currency is in the questions you ask – how they’re phrased, how they’re followed up and whether you’re paying attention to facial expressions and body language. This is mostly common sense, but the point is: none of the old rules of journalism apply on Zoom. You get one shot, one question through a computer screen, and then it’s on to the next reporter. You have 30 seconds to win your Pulitzer. As much as I welcome the return of baseball in 2021 – I’ll be heading to Tampa with the Yankees this week – I wonder if sports journalism will ever return to its better days. I somehow doubt it. Access during the pandemic will continue to be limited, even as fans slowly return to the ballparks. There’ll be life in the stands by late summer, but the scribes won’t be back in the clubhouse any time soon. My hunch is that MLB will move ever closer to its ultimate goal, keeping coverage in White House briefing-mode. Sure, that’s great for transparency. The Q-and-A’s with Aaron Boone are broadcast twice a day on YES, both pre- and post-game. That’s one perk today’s fans have over past generations. They can connect with the manager moments after an exhilarating win or crushing loss. But it doesn’t take advanced understanding of human nature to realize these interviews are just the Disney version of how torn up a manager or player can be in the most excruciating moments. I remember Aaron Judge at his locker, head down, back turned, hoping no one would notice as he wept softly following the Yankees’ loss to the Astros in the 2019 ALCS. Even more gut-wrenching was walking into Buck Showalter’s office moments after the Yankees’ season-ending loss to the Mariners in the 1995 Division Series. The fans in the old Kingdome were in near-riot mode, thanks to Edgar Martinez’s game-winning hit off Jack McDowell. Ken Griffey Jr. had turned into a blur, scoring all the way from first base. The Yankees’ collapse was devastating. The proof was in Showalter’s response 15 minutes later in the bowels of the stadium: forehead pressed to his desk, shoulders heaving softly as he wept. I slipped in and out within moments. I knew better than to ask a question. I stepped back into the clubhouse, but noticed as George Steinbrenner marched in to see Showalter. He slammed the door loudly; I was certain the Boss was there to fire the young manager. But he, too, realized Buck’s grief pre-empted conversation. Like me, Steinbrenner eased away instantly, this time closing the door gently. That’s when I realized George had a humane side. He decided to spare Buck, if only temporarily. Such unfiltered moments can only be recorded when reporters are allowed to actually witness and report, and not just act as Zoom stenographers. Obviously, the need for safety during the pandemic is legitimate. We’re all hoping for a saner world soon. Zoom has played an important role in getting us there. But when I tell younger writers what the job used to be like, they look at me like I’m describing the lost civilization of Atlantis. I recall one Saturday afternoon at Shea Stadium. First pitch was scheduled for 1 p.m. Reporters were supposed to be out of the clubhouse an hour before, but noon came and went and I was still immersed in a conversation with Ron Darling. The Mets didn’t care much for rules, including access. No one bothered to throw me out. Back then, there were no burly security guards at the door. Today the Yankees employ two ex-NYPD veterans who are all business. One, in particular, could double for The Mountain from “Game of Thrones.” When he says, “time to go” that means no waivers. Not even five minutes. But this was back in the 80s, when the Mets owned the circus and invited everyone under the tent. They hadn’t bothered with batting practice that day, so Darling and I were still chatting at 12:40 p.m. when Davey Johnson finally noticed the intruder (me). He’d just started his pre-game meeting, going over signs. He looked in my direction and said, “you’re not supposed to be in here, Klap.” Pause. “Ah, (bleep) it, you might as well stay.” And I did, finally filing out with the Mets at 12:55 p.m. They made a right to the dugout; I went stage left towards the press box with that day’s signs. Of course, not every manager was as accommodating as Davey. I’ll never forget one day in particular when Billy Martin was sitting behind his desk. (Told you I’ve been around forever). He was in a bad mood, which was usually the case, but this time Billy’s demons were in full control. In walked Norman MacLean from the now defunct United Press International, carrying a cassette tape recorder and microphone. (Talk about the low-tech era). Billy didn’t like Norman, who he regarded as a pest. But the poor guy happened to pick the wrong day and wrong time for an interview request “Billy, you have a minute?” “No,” he said flatly, although it was more like “(bleep) no.” “Come on, this won’t take long.” Temperature rising. “Get out of here, Norman.” “Billy, just give me three sentences.” Martin’s face darkened. “Okay, Norman. You want three sentences? Turn on your tape recorder.” MacLean, thrilled, pressed the “record” button and unwittingly walked into hellfire. “(Bleep) you. You’re a (bleeping bleep). Now get the (bleep) out of here.” Martin sat back in his chair with a satisfied smile. “How was that, Norman?” MacLean never answered – he’d already fled the room in a panic. Somehow, I don’t think that exchange would’ve ever happened on Zoom.

When that guy running at the bottom of the guide was a beloved football star. ???

The only show that's ever been worth watching on Bravo: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m23om0CPaF1qlqifro1_250.gif http://24.media.tumblr.com/daa42e6e79081084dd618459b83d27b4/tumblr_mprpquHGN41runxeno1_250.gif

WHY, THANK YOU! ??? Say that to Bono's face... he's a fan. DAMN STRAIGHT!

(Best Homer Simpson voice): Mmmm... Payday!

Did you ever think you'd get to a point in life where "You don't look a day over 65" would make you smile?

Well, he's knocked her up again...

Sounds like a Sunday sermon on the proper technique for giving head.

The switch for the fan is right over the phone. The light should be off because the door is open.

Phone booths with seats, a light that turned on when you closed the door, and a fan you could turn on or off

Going to Russia after communism had fallen, but before the USSR broke up

Many years ago I said something inappropriate on Twitter. I took the post down. An enemy of mine saved it and has been circulating it, and when my employer found out, I was fired. I was young and stupid and took it down years ago. Is my sacking justified? Well, I don’t know what you said so I don’t know how bad it was. But most employment is “at will,” which means companies can fire you and you can quit any time for any reason. The only thing an employer can’t do is fire you for any reason that is protected by law, such as age, race, gender and so on. That aside, I am deeply troubled by the gotcha, cancel culture. What if everything you have ever uttered privately had been recorded and played back? If anyone can say that there isn’t anything cringeworthy from their past, write to me. So I think generally we need to be more forgiving of youthful indiscretions that previously went unrecorded for posterity before social media. I am less forgiving if you post today. If you’re dumb enough to do that, I don’t have much sympathy for you if your employer takes action. Gregory Giangrande has over 25 years of experience as a chief human resources executive and is dedicated to helping New Yorkers get back to work. E-mail your questions to [email protected]. Follow Greg on Twitter: @greggiangrande and atGoToGreg.com.

13-year-old California girl steals mom’s car, fatally strikes two men A 13-year-old California girl fatally struck two men after taking off with her mother’s car, authorities said. The girl from Vista was stopped Friday night, but sped away when an officer approached her car, Escondido police said. “What the officer didn’t know at the time, is that the car was being driven by a 13-year-old girl from Vista who took her mom’s car without her knowing,” Lt. Kevin Toth told Fox5 San Diego. The teen then lost control and crashed into the bushes, where two men were sleeping, authorities said. Police said they believe both of the men were homeless. One was pronounced dead at the scene, while the other died at a hospital, cops said. The girl and a friend, who had been a passenger, were arrested and later released to their parents, police said. It’s unclear whether they will face any charges.

The black & white episodes of I DREAM OF JEANNIE A milk vending machine next to the cigarette vending machine in our apartment building's lobby. People using phones to talk to each other Answering machines and landlines (both of which I still have & use) Pinball arcades 8 mm home movies with no sound Aquarias & Sugar Sugar battling it out to be the #1 song of 1969 Pool clubs My parents letting 7 year old me and my 10 year old sister walk 10 blocks to take a public bus then another 6 block walk to our pool club Being able to walk one block The Golden Age of Music-- The Disco Era The first baseball players' strike, which occurred from April 1 to 13, 1972. Ron Blomberg of the Yankees being the first DH Single screen theaters with large screens My father's liquor store in a blue collar section of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, at a spot that is now hipster central and properties sell for millions of dollars (not that I'm bitter about that, of course) Trying pizza for the first time at a pizzeria (that is still there) next to the barber shop near my father's store Having sex with anonymous strangers with no concern of catching a deadly disease The NY Knicks being good A new show on NBC called Saturday Night Live Shouting "look out below" when somebody jumped out a window during an explosion scene in a fireworks factory in Thorough Modern Millie when I was 6 and having the whole theater crack up. Making my parents take us to see Thoroughly Modern Millie again the next week

Probably my favorite episode of the series last night. James Spader at his James Spaderest.