samhexum

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. It’s all that pot smoking they do A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. So can we launch a class-action lawsuit against Jiffy Lube for deceptive advertising? A snail can sleep for three years. If it repeatedly binge-watches CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE WORST KIND Babies are born without kneecaps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age. So how do mob enforcers incentivize them to pay their gambling debts? February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. A dark time for werewolves If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction. If they’re walking in single file, how are they reproducing? If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights. More if you visit a certain district in Amsterdam Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors. And his lesbian sister invented scissoring The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. Big deal… I move only six inches for every gallon of Coke Zero I consume. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. Is that a melted chocolate bar in your pocket, or were you just happy to see me? The sentence: “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter of the alphabet. Typing teachers the world over are nodding right now The words ‘racecar,’ ‘kayak’ and ‘level’ are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). Madam in Eden, I’m Adam. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. But only 50 ways to leave your lover?!?!? There’s no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins. I’m going to write my Congressperson (AOC!) and demand a congressional committee be formed to investigate this miscarriage of justice. They can then pass the BEA BENADERET BILL to fix this outrageous oversight.

Who's Petula Clark? ??? Just kidding, of course. I have one of her biggest hits on my computer, and listen to it occasionally:

AIDS likely made the leap from chimpanzees to humans because of a starving World War I soldier who was forced to hunt the animals for food, according to a new book. The unknown “Patient Zero” was part of an invasion force of 1,600 Belgian and French troops who, along with 4,000 African aides, had traveled from Leopoldville in the Belgian Congo to a remote outpost in Cameroon, says Canadian microbiologist Jacques Pepin, who once worked as a bush doctor in central Africa in the 1980s. Pepin, a professor in the Department of Microbiology and Infectious Diseases at Universite de Sherbrooke in Quebec (and also a French-born American chef, author, culinary educator, television personality, and artist?), makes the intriguing hypothesis the focus of a new edition of his famed book, “Origins of AIDS.” “Patient Zero” was likely injured after killing a subspecies of chimp — Pan troglodytes troglodytes — infected with a simian virus that was a precursor to HIV, or Human Immunodeficiency Virus, the virus which causes AIDS, Pepin writes in the tome recently published by Cambridge University Press. AIDS likely made the leap from chimpanzees to humans because of a starving World War I soldier who was forced to hunt the animals for food, according to a new book. The unknown “Patient Zero” was part of an invasion force of 1,600 Belgian and French troops who, along with 4,000 African aides, had traveled from Leopoldville in the Belgian Congo to a remote outpost in Cameroon, says Canadian microbiologist Jacques Pepin, who once worked as a bush doctor in central Africa in the 1980s. Pepin, a professor in the Department of Microbiology and Infectious Diseases at Universite de Sherbrooke in Quebec, makes the intriguing hypothesis the focus of a new edition of his famed book, “Origins of AIDS.” “Patient Zero” was likely injured after killing a subspecies of chimp — Pan troglodytes troglodytes — infected with a simian virus that was a precursor to HIV, or Human Immunodeficiency Virus, the virus which causes AIDS, Pepin writes in the tome recently published by Cambridge University Press. In a 2011 edition of the seminal book, Pepin originally posited HIV leapt from chimps to humans after an injured African hunter killed one of the beasts in 1921, becoming infected in the process. Pepin then chronicles how the virus’ spread was fueled throughout the world by colonization, prostitution, and “well-meaning” public health campaigns which lacked what are now common safety protocols, such as barring the sharing of needles. In the second edition, released this month, Pepin draws on research in medical archives in Africa and Europe suggesting ‘Patient Zero’ was not a native hunter, but instead a starving World War One soldier forced to hunt chimps for food when his regiment got stuck in the remote forest around Moloundou, Cameroon and ran out of food supplies. Most books about AIDS begin in 1981, when a group of gay men in the US began to die after contracting a virulent pneumonia. Since then, HIV has gone on to kill 33 million and infect nearly 76 million people around the world. “Some may say that understanding the past is irrelevant,” writes Pepin in the introduction to the new edition of his book. “We have a moral obligation to the millions of human beings who have died, or will die, from this infection. Second, this tragedy was facilitated (or even caused) by human interventions: colonization, urbanizations and probably well-intentioned public health campaigns.”

Massachusetts congressman has COVID after getting 2 vaccine doses U.S. Rep. Stephen Lynch tested positive for coronavirus on Friday, after receiving both doses of the COVID-19 vaccine. A spokeswoman for the Massachusetts Democrat, who attended President Biden’s inauguration last week, confirmed his diagnosis in a statement, CNN reports. “This afternoon U.S. Representative Stephen F. Lynch received a positive test result for COVID-19 after a staff member in the Congressman’s Boston office had tested positive earlier in the week,” said Molly Rose Tarpey. Lynch, who intends to isolate and vote by proxy in Congress next week, received his second dose of Pfizer’s COVID-19 shot and tested negative for the disease before Biden was sworn in on Jan. 20, according to Tarpey. She did not detail when the congressman received each of his vaccine doses. The shot is meant to guard against illness resulting from the virus, but not necessarily the virus itself. The vaccine is considered effective if a fully vaccinated individual contracts COVID-19 and doesn’t experience illness brought on by the disease. That said, immunity “typically takes a few weeks” to build post-inoculation, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. A trio of Democrats — Rep. Bonne Watson Coleman of New Jersey, Rep. Pramila Jayapal of Washington, and Rep. Brad Schneider of Illinois — tested positive for the virus earlier this month after sheltering in place during the Jan. 6 insurrection with members of Congress who refused to mask up, despite the raging pandemic.

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The only Elvis 45 I ever bought was Suspicious Minds, though years later a friend gave me her copy of Burning Love.

It's only $16/yr or (I think) $12/yr if you sign up for auto-renew. If you actually remember to check if there's an AARP discount everywhere you eat and shop, it can pay for itself. If not, then just bite the bullet and splurge. You're worth $16/yr. ?

*** note to our 35 year old members (who think they are old): record (noun) a large round black piece of plastic containing music or other sounds Mine was a 45-- Dizzy by Tommy Roe. I was 7 years old. There was a variety store across the street from me and I bought it there. I took it home and it skipped. Exchanged it and got the same result. 5 times. On the 7th attempt it worked. I probably still have it on a shelf in my closet.

You can read the most recent issues of AARP The Magazine and the AARP Bulletin online. If you are using a tablet device, be sure to download the AARP Publications Tablet App so you can catch up on the latest (and past) issues of our publications at any time.

Well, he was born after the Golden Age of music... late 60s-early 80s. The poor dear! ? ?:(??

FAKE NEWS!!! You're not a septuagenarian yet.

Arenado's being traded to St Louis.

I suppose you don't even know that Shirley Partridge was Keith Partridge's stepmother (and Shaun's mother) in real life?

NYPD investigates penis vandalism in Bronx stationhouse

My advice: Steal a wealthy person's identity and move into their mansion.

The title of this thread made me think of The Golden Girls (of course) when Dorothy was going to re-marry Stan and Blanche interviewed Grace Adler's mother Debbie Reynolds to be a new roomate: Truby: Oh, my husband passed. Rose: Passed what? Dorothy: A slow-moving Winnebago, Rose!

Freddy, the world’s tallest dog, dies at age 8 Freddy, the beloved Great Dane who held the record as the world’s tallest dog, has died at the age of 8, Guinness World Records announced. The gentle giant — who towered at almost 7 feet, 6 inches standing on his hind legs — became an international sensation when his record was announced in 2016. When measured by a vet and GWR from foot to withers, the highest point on his shoulder blades, he measured 3 feet, 4 inches – giving him the official record. “He was not just the tallest dog but the dog with the most love and the biggest heart. A total soppy bugger who was hand-fed,” Freddy’s devastated owner Claire Stoneman said. “He was my life. My reason. My joy. My annoyance. My happiness and my ultimate sadness. He was my heart Dane. My one in a million and loved by the entire world,” the resident of Essex, UK, added. “As a puppy, he was the runt of the litter. I actually got him a couple of weeks earlier than I should have, as he wasn’t feeding off [his] mum,” she told GWR. “I had no idea he was going to get this big at all.” GWR Editor-in-Chief Craig Glenday also remembered the beloved pooch. “Measuring this mountain of a dog was an unforgettable — if challenging! — experience and I’ll always treasure the couple of occasions I got to share a sofa with him — there was just about enough room for the two of us!” he said. “I still can barely believe that he was the runt of the litter. Freddy brought a smile to everyone’s face and will be missed by every at Guinness World Records. I’m just pleased that we got the chance to celebrate his record-breaking immensity in the books and share his story with millions of people around the world,” Glenday said. “RIP, Freddy,” he added. COULDN'T POST THE PICS IN THE ARTICLE, BECAUSE THERE'S A KID IN THEM

‘Bling Empire’ cast’s net worth: How they made their fortunes https://nypost.com/article/netflix-bling-empire-cast-net-worth/

Don’t mess with his happy meal. A New Mexico man was caught on video pointing a gun at a McDonald’s employee for getting his order wrong. Estevan Gonzalez pulled up at a McDonald’s drive-thru window in Albuquerque on Jan. 7 to complain that his burger didn’t have cheese, KRQE reported. Gonzalez left and came back to the drive-thru — still unsatisfied — about 10 minutes later. The 25-year-old man then can be seen on surveillance footage arguing with an employee before whipping out a gun and pointing it at the employee. The employee then calls the police, which sent a chopper to the restaurant where it recorded Gonzalez at the window. The unhappy customer then drives away as he was being chased by the chopper. Cops eventually caught up to him at a nearby neighborhood and arrested him, according to KRQE. Gonzalez has been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, and was released from jail as he awaits trial.

No doubt this pic was inspired by Sue Ann's introductory episode on MTM... The Lars Affair, in which Sue Ann has an affair with Phyllis' hubby. It was MTM's mother's favorite episode & mine, as well. Season 4 Episode 1, in its entirety:

North Carolina man hits 2 deer with car, $2 million lotto in same day