samhexum

I know, Jeremy, I know... OY! That Couch! What is that, a remnant from SHAMELESS?

I just got an email from my medical group about an upcoming virtual cardiology seminar. It will be led by Dr. Hartman. Big marketing fail on his part, not changing the spelling of his last name at the start of his career...

Do they use fountain pens or quill and ink for messages they want to be sure the recipient can preserve for posterity?

Fast-food customer sues Dunkin' Donuts over 'traumatic' toilet explosion the article is about a toilet that exploded, but the headline conjures up the possibility for some delightful snark.

It's been 14 or 15 years. July 1, whatever year ICE AGE 3 came out. One multiplex in Brooklyn, just over the border from Queens, closed yesterday. Another in Queens will be closing next month and yet another might be right behind it.

I bet Josh would be GIDDY if the whole matter just went away.

‘I Lost 60 Pounds, Added Years To My Life, Thanks To Tirzepatide + Lifestyle Changes’ “It was a miracle drug.” https://www.womenshealthmag.com/weight-loss/a46106274/tirzepatide-weight-loss-review-before-and-after/ unfortunately behind a paywall.

Though I now use a smartphone (and with my usage, it could best be described as a developmentally-challenged phone), I still don't understand why phones calls are considered passe, and voicemails not even worth the time to listen to. I don't think I'll ever NOT be that old fashioned. I have no idea what brought this to mind...

a less colorful pun... a visual pun...

Dear Abby: Three months ago, my husband of 30 years came home from work, told me he wasn’t happy anymore and said he wanted a divorce. He announced he was moving in with his brother until he could find a place. Six days later, I found out he’d moved in with a woman he’d been seeing for a few months. I am devastated. He flaunts his new heifer all around town, forcing her on our granddaughters and rubbing her in my face. My divorce has been filed on the grounds of adultery. I can’t believe he dragged my adult children into the middle of this and made them lie to me. I have been trying to let go, but how do you let go of someone who gave you so much to remember? I’m still very much in love with him. After such a long marriage, must I just let it end like this? — Dumbfounded in Tennessee Dear Dumbfounded: I suppose you could talk to your lawyer and try to drag out the divorce, hoping your husband will “come to his senses.” But at some point, you will have to admit to yourself that the man you married isn’t the person you thought he was. You have every right to feel pain and anger, but your time and money would be better spent in the office of a licensed mental health professional. That your adult children went along with keeping you in the dark is shameful. It will take time to work through this, and the sooner you start, the better. YES Dear Abby: I moved to a rural area a couple of years ago and was surprised at how friendly my neighbors were. They seemed eager to help at first. I got sick and had to spend a few days in the hospital. I asked the couple to please feed and water my pets until I could come home. They did, but they also made a copy of my house keys, entered my home after I returned to work and stole several thousand dollars’ worth of stuff from me. I am hurt and very angry over this. The police said I have to show receipts to prove ownership of the things that were taken. But most of it I have owned for years, and I no longer have the receipts. I’m going to confront this couple, but how do I get over what they did? I can’t believe how trashy and low-class they are. They both have jobs. I live alone on one salary. A lot of the things they stole I had to save up to pay for. They are nothing more than liars and thieves. What do you suggest? — Victimized in Oklahoma Dear Victimized: Please accept my sympathy. You trusted your neighbors, and they took advantage. But the horse is out of the barn. Change the locks on your house if you haven’t already done it. Install security cameras linked to your cellphone so you have a record of who enters your property when you are out. Photograph and list the serial numbers on your valuable items and store it away from home. (A safety deposit box would be a safe place.) And insure any items of value so you are protected in case it happens again. KILL THE BASTARDS!

Carny stabs man with box cutter at Santa’s Enchanted Forest in Florida getting an early start on this year's naughty list, I guess...

NYC earthquake: 1.7 magnitude tremor originating in Astoria

My doctor said I could try Monjaro if I want, since people lose more weight with it than Ozempic, but I was just on the phone with a very helpful rep from United Healthcare who explained to me that you fall into the medicare coverage gap the minute your drug costs exceed $5030, and that either drug costs $3000+ for a 3 month supply, so I think I'll stay with Metformin for now and see if I start to regain the weight.

sacre bleu!

Damn! I was all set to make a few jokes about her being named after a nondescript Chevrolet model from the 1960s & 70s, and it turns out her name is Cherelle. At least I can joke about her being raised by a famous American poet, writer, critic, wit, and satirist: Cherelle was born to a single teenage mom and raised by her grandparents James and Dorothy Parker.

She was no Martha Raye, I'll admit that.

I decided to tackle a more time-consuming project. I cleaned my fridge, including taking out all the shelves and drawers. It took about 2 1/2 hours.

New York routs Toronto 4-0 in inaugural PWHL game; Ella Shelton scores league’s first goal New York dominated in the inaugural game of the Professional Women’s Hockey League (PWHL), defeating Toronto 4-0 on Monday at Mattamy Athletic Centre.

Just as in 2024, 1996 began on a Monday and was a leap year featuring 366 days. Now, many are dusting off old boxes or scouring eBay in the hopes of finding a calendar from that year to use all over again.

cleaning my toilet

A tree grows in Queens — in the middle of the sidewalk. Astoria residents are baffled over four trees that were planted smack in the center of the sidewalk on 29th Street, off of Broadway, on Dec. 26. One of them was placed right in front of 31-38 29th St. and Erick Elias, the superintendent of the building, said he first got word of it when a tenant sent him a photo. “The day after Christmas, he sent us a picture of it that said, ‘Did the landlord order a tree?'” he told The Post. “So I went outside and was like, ‘Holy crap, it’s real. There’s a tree in the middle of the sidewalk.'” Elias, 39, said three others were also planted on his block that day, also in the middle of the sidewalk, on the other side of the street. “And apparently I’m hearing that it’s happening in a couple of other places in Astoria and also in Sunnyside,” he said. About a week and a half prior, he heard what he thought was construction in front of his home one morning. “At 7 a.m. on the dot, we started hearing jackhammering. When we leave to go to work, we see this dirt patch right in the middle of the sidewalk and we’re like, ‘What the hell is this?'” he recalled. “We’re all thinking pipework or something. None of us are thinking ‘tree’ because it’s in the middle of the sidewalk.” Neighbors have taken to social media to express their concerns with the out-of-place plantings. “Anyone know why they’re putting trees in the *middle* of the sidewalk on 29th St in Astoria?,” @vidiot_ posted on X on Dec. 29 along with a photo of one, which is across from Elias’ building. The conversation on X included a link to the Reddit discussion over the tree planted in front of Elias’ building, which started with a photo and the caption, “All about planting trees, but this seems a little odd.” A Reddit user even found the permit for the tree pit, issued in November. “Who approved this brilliant idea ?!?!!! Trees in the middle of the sidewalk??? WTF” Debra Roy Vecchio wrote on the Facebook group Astoria Centric, along with a photo of one of the trees. “Absolutely ridiculous. This requires a lawsuit,” added Maria Dourmas Hriso Mallis. “Public endangerment and the blocking of pedestrian sidewalk to start. Wheelchair and disabled endangerment. I’m sure there are tons of codes of infractions the city puts on owners that can be turned on the city.” Others welcomed the natural additions. “Trees are good. Calm down,” wrote John Mcgarry. “It does not block the sidewalk. There is plenty of space on both sides for a person in a wheelchair to maneuver around,” added Alex Tinder. “I think it’s a great idea. To discourage motor scooters and bikes on the sidewalk. Plus trees are good. And I can take my dog out without being too close to the road. I think it’s a win win all around,” said Samae Allred. Elias said he and other Astorians have also been embracing the tree. “I put a picture of Larry David on it because they didn’t put it on the curb, so [a reference to] Larry David’s show, ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm,'” he explained. “And then some guy last night came over and put Fran Lebowitz on it.” The trees were put in the middle of the sidewalk, instead of right at the curb, because of underground utility lines, the city Parks Department said. While similar tree placements in other locations have been successful, we’ve heard from the community that we missed the mark with these four trees, and we will be relocating the trees to more appropriate locations,” said Parks spokesman Gregg McQueen. https://nypost.com/2023/12/30/metro/residents-baffled-after-trees-put-in-middle-of-nyc-sidewalk/

Scientists make stunning discovery in remote forest: ‘There are no others that have had the opportunity to live so long’ APPLE.NEWS “It’s a survivor.” Though trees across the globe are under threat from the logging and agriculture industries and... ‘THERE ARE NO OTHERS THAT HAVE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO LIVE SO LONG’ “It’s a survivor.”