youngboldone

This may be taking the conversation in a tangential direction, but since the topic has been alluded to, it's gotten me thinking. I know that it's incumbent upon the client or really anyone going in to any sexual encounter to assume that your partner is HIV + and then act accordingly. However, it's one thing to assume someone else is poz and another thing entirely to know for a fact that they are before you consider engaging in sexual activity with them. So, what are the ethics involved on the escort side if the escort knows for a fact that they are poz? I would hope that, at the very least, they are advertising safe only and sticking to only safe sex with clients, and I feel they should also be disclosing this information to the client so that he can make an informed decision whether to meet. Part of me feels, however, (and I realize some on here are going to take offense to this but save your mean, vicious, retorts because this is my opinion and I don't care) escorts who know they are poz probably should not even be in this business. Granted, if you hook up with someone via Grindr, Scruff, Growlr, or in a bar, you don't know their status, but at least in those scenarios they aren't charging you money for an act that could potentially infect you with a fatal disease.

That's the kind of side effect I could live with!

My "massage" with MMB was awful. Complete waste of time and money.

In short, he was a huge waste of time.

I did go to see him. Wouldn't repeat. PM me if you want details.

Where did you guys find reviews other than what's on RM for CraigXXX? I tried searching Daddy's but found nothing.

I understand you completely. Am in a sexless marriage and have been given permission to open up the relationship and get my needs met elsewhere. I'm not rich, so I initially tried Grindr, Scruff, and Growlr. Absolutely NO luck on either Grindr or Scruff. I'm met some nice people on Growlr, but all they seem to want to do is talk. There's one guy in particular - figured out we actually only live about 3 miles apart. His situation is the same as mine: married to a guy, but they have an open relationship. He has initiated late night sex chatting numerous times, and then after he gets off, I don't hear from him for 4 or 5 days. Rinse and repeat. I finally asked him if he wanted to meet and actually have sex in person rather than over the phone. I've gotten a range of excuses. I've hired three times, and only one of those times has been what I'd call a home run. The other two were very lackluster. Ironically, the lackluster guys got me to cum, but the session I had the best time in, I didn't cum. Figure that one out. So hiring isn't foolproof, but the odds are certainly better I'll have a good time versus trying to woo one of these guys on an app to actually meet. I think, contrary to popular belief, technology has actually made hooking up MUCH more difficult!

KennF, if you have actual statistics and scientific evidence you'd like to share that will reassure me that having protected sex with an HIV+ person is no risk, I'm happy to receive that information with an open mind. Otherwise, please stop vilifying me. I am in no way stigmatizing those who are poz. In face, in spite of my fear, I went ahead with the appointment I scheduled with the escort. I even wrote him a glowing review afterward. I venture to guess not many others would have done that. So, what would you have rather I'd done to be more fair to the escort? Would canceling the appointment have been fair to him? Was I supposed to do anal with him just to show him I have no fear? Yes, I do have fear surrounding this issue, and that healthy fear has kept me alive and HIV free for 44 years. Please stop attacking someone who's just trying to find his way in a very scary world. You're not helping.

Okay, guys. Hopefully I'm not walking into landmine territory here, but I would like some solid advice. In the past year I have seen three escorts and one erotic masseur. In all cases, the possibility for anal intercourse presented itself. In the case of the masseur, it was with my porn star idol. I was only expecting an erotic massage and didn't think things would go into escort territory, but they did. I, unfortunately and to my eternal regret, was not equipped with a condom. The porn star didn't have one either. He wanted me to top him and told me "it was cool because he was on Prep, so no worries". Well, I'm not on Prep. I've never felt more conflicted in my life. For so many years, I had fantasized about being with this guy, and now here he was offering himself to me. I entered him with maybe 2-3 thrusts before I freaked, pulled out, and said I couldn't do it without a condom. In my other 3 encounters with escorts, I did not engage in anal with one because the connection didn't feel right, didn't with another because I knew going in that he was HIV+ and couldn't relax enough to really trust that it would be safe with a condom, and with the third, I bottomed for him (losing my virginity in the process), and he did wear a condom. Forgive my rambling, but I think what I'm trying to get at is should I get on Prep so that I will feel 100% protected going into future encounters? I would still use condoms even if I were on Prep, so that would be two layers of protection, correct? I'm worried about the side effects and long-term consequences of being on Prep. And yet, I want to be able to enjoy sex without being crippled by the worry surrounding it that has plagued me all my life. I want to be able to relax. Any suggestions?

Thanks, escortrod. Believe me, it wasn't easy to have that conversation. But after 11 years of no sex, only masturbating, and going the heteronormative/suppression route, I knew something had to change. I've always had a fairly healthy libido, but the intensity of what I'm feeling now in my early 40s has really taken me by surprise. I realize we don't live forever, and I want to experience lots of sex before I die.

My husband's and my sexual paths have definitely diverged as time as gone on. We never did have what I'd call a robust sex life. I foolishly thought when we got married that our sex life would improve and get better with time and eventually peak. It never did. We have now been in a sexless marriage for the last 11 of our 18 years together. Other than the sexual component, the rest of our marriage is great, so it's not like I want a divorce. But he's almost 60 and done with sex. I'm only 44 and just now coming into my prime, if my raging libido is any indication. So I finally had a frank convo with him and told him I wasn't ready to be celibate for the rest of my life. We now have an open marriage, and I have his permission to get my sexual needs fulfilled elsewhere.

EVdude, did you see any local escorts when you were in Columbus? If you did, please PM me and give me feedback on who you saw.

Anyone have any experience with this masseur? I have booked an appointment with him tomorrow evening, but when I spoke with him over the phone there was something "off" about the conversation. When he answered and I asked, "Is this Neo?", there was an awkward pause before he spoke and said, "Uh, yeah, that's me." That and the fact that he has no reviews are making me a bit paranoid. If anyone has actually seen this guy, I'd appreciate some feedback. Thanks. https://www.massagem4m.com/masseur/18581/

Yes, he is running a business - quite poorly in my opinion. When your business is providing customer service and you're providing none, that's a problem. He lost my business for sure. On to the next...

A shame, too, because he really is a hot guy, and we don't get many of those in my city too often. I can't win for trying!

Yeah, there was no way that was going to be a successful encounter. I briefly thought about at least messaging him back to let him know I'd decided not to engage him, but my silence will speak for itself. This guy is truly in the wrong business. I got that vibe when I read his ad yet tried to look past it and assume circumstances would be otherwise. Why don't I ever learn the lesson to follow my instincts?

UPDATE: After telling me not to text him back, I was trying to decide what I wanted to do, when he texted me back to give me an update on his schedule for Sunday. So I then texted him back and frankly told him that because of my lack of experience and general anxiety about hiring, his previous text made me feel chastised and uncomfortable. I explained my approach to hiring and my rationale of vetting before making an appointment versus making an appointment, vetting, and then canceling on a person. After an hour passes, he then calls me. I was running errands and driving at the time so couldn't take the call. During this whole time I was thinking maybe I'd been to quick to misinterpret, that I should give him the benefit of the doubt, and that I would book something with him if the call went okay. Once I got home and could call, I did, and it went straight to VM. I asked him to text me a definitive time this evening when I could call so we didn't play phone tag back and forth. Heard nothing for the next 3 hours. Then I notice a message in my RM inbox, a message from the escort that said this: "It's been a stressful week for me. I've had an obscene amount of guys message me one or two times and then I've messaged and called them back LOTS of times with absolutely no response. I had a guy make an appt with me and when I went to confirm our appt the day before he informed me that his flight got changed and he forget to tell me. Two guys were messaging me only to meet at that exact time...it makes me wonder what kind of drugs their on. Since I called you and messaged you a bunch of times today with no response I blocked all six clients that weren't responding to my texts...it was giving me far too much stress. I couldn't deal with it. Was it unprofessional? Perhaps. But did it help me get rid of all of that stress? Absolutely. My point is: I blocked your number. After I blocked your number your voicemail somehow still came through to my phone. So if you still want to get together you will either have to message me here or directly through my email. If you don't want to meet anymore it's absolutely understandable. I hope you're having a weekend that is far more relaxing that mine." Now what am I supposed to do with that? This guy seems very high maintenance and not worth the trouble, and yet, part of me is still considering reaching out again. I mean, if I just want an orgasm, I can achieve that at home for free. The point (to me) of going through all this is to have some genuine human affection, a genuine interaction, even if it is only for a couple of hours. Thus...the reason I want to vet thoroughly. At this point, I'm wondering even if we did get together, whether there's too much baggage to even have a good time with this guy no matter how hot he is.

So envious of you. Jack's ass is incredible. All that fur, and all that ink. Goddamn! You better give us a full report, Despardo! LOL

So I'm an egomaniac for wanting someone I'm paying hundreds of dollars an hour to take an interest in me? Okay, sure.

LOL - I'm the least ego-driven you'll ever meet. You don't know me, so back up. I'd rather not cancel other obligations without knowing first if the escort if even going to be a match. You call it being dramatic. I call it being kind. Empathy is obviously in short supply these days. God knows it is on this forum.

Despardo, if you see Jack, please report back how it was. I'll be living vicariously through you.

If I were ever fortunate enough to have the opportunity to be with Jack Dixon, I would be jumping at that chance! Wouldn't even think twice.

My viewpoint is that it's less intrusive and less offensive to the escort to establish compatibility before making an appointment that I'm then 100% certain to keep rather than commit to someone I know nothing about, then engage in a back and forth, and then cancel an already established appointment. How does that approach make any more sense than just figuring out if a meeting should happen before you commit? I still say my way is better. Plus, the whole notion of hiring someone makes me anxious from the get go. I'm not someone who lets his guard down easily when it comes to sex anyway, let alone having sex with someone who is, for all intents and purposes, a stranger. So, the initial back and forth, question and answer, getting to know you phase is very important for me. If someone isn't willing to even invest a few minutes in you upfront, how generous a lover are they going to be when you finally meet? The session will be all about them. They've already demonstrated that they aren't client focused.

Yeah, I'll save my hard-earned money for someone willing to put in the time and effort to establish a rapport and connection with me before I commit to spending it. I'm passing on this dude. Has our society devolved to the point where people aren't willing to be kind to one another and converse for 5 minutes before "getting down to business"? Wow. Civility really is dead.

I reached out to an escort who is visiting my city. Initially sent him an email through RM. He responded pleasantly enough and gave me his phone number, signaling to me that he wanted to continue the conversation via text. So, I texted him asking him about availability. He said he couldn't meet me on the day I suggested. He suggested an alternate day. I told him I already had some obligations that day but would look into moving some things around to make a session happen. He sent me several sexy pics of himself that really got my motor running. So far, so good, right? I then send him another text (probably my 4th to him during the entire conversation) telling him what I was into and asking if he thought we'd be compatible and if he had any other questions for me. He responds by saying, "Please limit messaging me until you are 100% sure you can meet. Otherwise we'll end up chatting a lot and never meeting. I hope you understand ;-)" I'm sorry, but I was under the impression that as a paying client I get to try and ascertain whether my money is going to be well spent on you. How do I know that if I'm not even permitted to ask you questions about what you're into? And why is it that escorts (at least the ones I've contacted) never seem at all interested in finding out what makes me tick and what I'm interested in? I'm the one who has to volunteer that information. I'm truly perplexed. Isn't this supposed to be their business? Yet they make it seem like you're bothering them by trying to communicate! Seems like a lot of guys are in this business who don't really want to be. I'm conflicted because I'm horny, this guy ticks all my boxes in all the right ways....yet this tone is really off putting. What would you do? Book anyway? Or say "Bye, Felicia"?