5280Dane

Great point but should we include in "looks" things like body type and ethnicity?

 

There was an escort who said in his profile "no blacks", he even came into the forum to defend his argument. I cna't remember his name or I would @ mention him.

 

personalities? Maybe he likes the thrill of getting paid to have sex with men or he's proud he can convince guys to pay him. That's a stretch, the rest of your point was great till you went into that hearsay.

Hearsay, as I understand it is something heard that cannot be substantiated. Considering that it was the escort himself describing his own experience, it should be taken at face value. Who am I to question or doubt what he states? I would imagine that it would serve him well in being able to serve a diverse set of clientele. He does enjoy the attention and the money, so whatever his motivation is, good for him.

That’s awful that someone would post no blacks in their profile. That brings up an entirely new discussion as it’s so common, particularly in the south to see people post whites only, and blacks posting blacks only. I just don’t know what to think of it. Part of me finds it racist, while the other says everyone has the right to their own tastes. Personally, I have found people of every race attractive, hot is hot, so I guess they’re missing out.

Thanks for the discussion, I always find your posts to be well thought out and respectful.

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You'd be amazed about so many clients who call themselves "jocks" and they look more like the coach 20 years after he stopped playing...

 

When clients lie about their appearance, age, etc... it makes no sense. They should be honest upfront with the escort about their looks and expectations.

I agree that one should always be honest but unfortunately adjectives are subjective and those same guys probably believe they are a jock. None of us like getting old. I swear most guys think I’m in my 30s because of all the dudes in their late 50s saying they are 42. I’m proud to be 46.

I would question that if looks matter to an escort that maybe they are in the wrong business. It’s like anything else in life, sometimes they are going to get ugly other times average and once in awhile hot. My straight escort friend said he isn’t attracted physically to men but he is to the personalities.

I know plenty of escorts who wouldn’t want a thing to do with a guy that considers himself hot. The ego is too big, tend to act diva like, and no personality.

He is a nice guy, legit, looks like his pics.

Raleigh and Charlotte are turning more liberal solely because of the out of state transplants. There are still a lot of conservative old money southern families in both cities, who may not take to kindly to gays, or blacks, or gays and blacks. I know more about raleigh culture than Charlotte, but have lived in both cities. North raleigh and Cary have a lot of transplants, you’d be less likely to see native born Raleigh citizens in these areas. But most of the more established neighborhoods “inside the beltline” or the older part of Raleigh are very conservative with mostly native born Raleigh citizens. It’s very old southern, and very preppy. This lifestyle may not be for everyone.

You are correct that the cities have changed with the influx of people, and for Charlotte many of those are from New York and San Francisco due to BOA and Wells operations. The liberal movement is in full swing and spreading through the suburbs. What both cities lack though are established gay neighborhoods. People are spread out all over the city. And oh fuck old money. Let them get pissed off. The ol Dixiecrats need to go. What Charlotte has going for it is lower housing costs than many other cities. You can still get a decent property for under $200k.

Thanks for the suggestions. I have visited Omaha and Lincoln and have a couple regs there from my last visit, but I don’t think it’s conducive to a gay ethnic male provider trying to streamline his possibilities. Omaha is a place to have on an occasional rotational. Omaha has flakes to the high levels of extremes, and those areas tend to be out of tune with the whole paying for pleasure aspect of living.

 

They are so used to seeing ethnic folk as low and/or 2nd class citizens or working in service type of industries. So when they see a real life professional, it can be a bit too foreign for most of them. Not all, but the majority. Kansas City can be the same way, which is why I’m 1 foot out the door here.

 

I’ve been to North Carolina a handful of times. Both before and after. Prior to these laws being passed, North Carolina was a busy state for me on my first trip to Raleigh and Charlotte. It seems afterwards, things there changed up a bit. Maybe because of:

 

https://statelaws.findlaw.com/north-carolina-law/north-carolina-prostitution-and-solicitation-laws.html

 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.wral.com/new-law-would-help-in-fight-against-north-carolina-s-thriving-illicit-massage-business/16832136/?version=amp

Almost all states have prostitution laws and there has been a crackdown on massage parlors but you aren’t in that category at all and most of it subsided with the removal of craigslist and backpage ads. Crackdowns are aimed at sex slavery and abusive situations, they pretty much leave men alone in our situations. Best wishes though on where you land!

Thanks for the suggestions. The hub idea is always something to keep in mind. However, I can add in 3 optional put off-ers:

 

#5: Don’t want to pick states I’ve already lived (except maybe Colorado, which I’m debating)

#6: Don’t want states with extreme laws (seems North Carolina is one)

#7: Don't want small town big cities. Aka, cities who's economy/livelihood revolves around 1 or 2 things: e.g. A university (Austin), country music (Nashville), or a sports team (Green Bay).

 

Texas, Texas, Texas. What can I say. I read they recently passed a bill criminalizing “texting unsolicited erotic material”. That could mean just about anything

 

Texas would also land as #1 on my list: too saturated. Dallas and Houston has opportunity and potential, but everyone else is trying to get the same opportunity and potential as well. Austin lies at #4 cost of living and San Antonio at #2 with the limited (also wanted to use the word homogeneous) scene.

 

Fort Worth and Arlington I’m familiar with. Neither 2 cities have much of a business potential. I think in two years living there, I might of had like 3 to 5 clients. I would generally drive 30-40 miles to Dallas anytime I had a client.

 

Oklahoma City has mostly tapered off from where it was a few years ago, I have made a couple trips there this year. There’s still clients there, but usually after 1 or 2 days, it dries up.

 

New Orleans, I don’t have a ton of experience in...but I have been thru there and Baton Rouge. Based on the demographics of the area, I just don’t envision it being a hot spot for me.

 

This isn’t to pick apart your suggestions, but I’m glad you brought it up because that’s what makes it so hard to choose. Places may look good on the map, on paper, but they may not be suitable for my needs. Of course cities change, my brand changes, and new clients are born daily. So it’s not gospel.

 

I have a former client who’s moving back to Colorado from Atlanta because he couldn’t find the opportunities he went for. I’m like yeah, Atlanta is the most cutthroat city in the south next to Miami, for finding jobs or clients. After spending a week in Los Angeles earlier this month, I said if Atlanta and Miami were to ever panagea together, that's what Los Angeles is.

What extreme laws are you referring to in North Carolina? Both Charlotte and Raleigh are great cities not far from the Blue Ridge, Great Smokies, or the beach. They are both more liberal than people know. Denver is my favorite city by far. Lived there for 6 years, but Charlotte is a close 2. Denver COL is getting out of hand. A few other choices. Omaha? They don’t have the NFL, but you won’t find smarter and loyal football fans in many other cities. Game day in Lincoln is unbelievable. But winter sucks there, similar to Chicago. Virginia Beach/Newport, Louisville, Cincinnati or Baltimore are all mid sized cities worth a look too.

Obviously nobody wants to contract HIV or any other STD, including the masseur. Don’t blame him, your health is your responsibility, regardless that honesty and looking out for the fellow man morals should be universal. Don’t be hard on yourself either. Most STDs can be cured with an antibiotic, HPV is fairly common and it’s not tested for unless you ask for it. And even HIV is no longer a death sentence and won’t ruin your life. So keep things in perspective. Good luck.

Take the plunge then write a review in daddy’s.

To add another layer that I'm curious about:

What characteristics identify someone as masculine or effeminate?

Overall appearance, facial expressions, wardrobe, mannerisms, tone of voice? Thoughts?

Wardrobe used to be a sign, but the metrosexual has put an end to that. I used to be one of the best dressed at work but now I give that title to a straight, former marine. Mannerisms aren’t even a giveaway anymore. I swear my gaydar was never great, but it’s just downright horrible now.

Masculine. For me, that goes hand in hand with MUSCLE.

Some of the biggest queens I’ve met are muscular. And I know a straight bodybuilder who is fairly effeminate.

I tend to be attracted to masculinity but some effeminate characteristics are ok. A person’s personality can overcome a great deal. A super masculine guy that is a jerk is a turnoff, and even masc guys who can be campy queens turn me off. But a sweet, yet slightly effeminate man could be a turn on. I would not be considered super masc or effeminate but I can ride a horse, work cattle, change oil in a car, and later can cook a great meal, bake a pie, and sew a pillow over.

In the gay community the two are becoming more merged as guys may be a bit of both. I played competitive sports for years and the uber masculinity of football can be thrown by the wayside in gay flag football with all the campiness that goes on in light hearted fun. But in no way does it diminish the quality of athletics that you’ll see. For some of my friends who came to watch, it was a mini culture shock.

I noticed he was advertising in Charlotte for 5 days but his ad disappeared after a day. Probably trying to gauge interest. I’ll stick with the local hunk down the road in Greensboro.

Just eat a dozen donuts and a cheese cube a week, that's all I do.

Ha ha! Well played.

Well, this is a can of worms, so I guess I will pitch in with my contrary self, so I should say up front the following is my personal opinion. For sure, you will likely find no end to people who are willing to offer a plan, usually for money, without regard to its suitability for you (or anyone, for that matter ). To be clear, this is what you have asked for. I'll explain a little bit why I say that, and why my opinion is this is likely not a good approach for most people, which would include you.

 

As you mention, there is no single answer, but I think it's important to highlight why that is. The reality is that long term success or failure depends on each person coming to grips with the reality of their own particular physiology and psychology, and how these two things interact, something that for all practical purposes is unique to each person, and then each person identifying a fitness strategy that fits their unique characteristics. This means not only diet and exercise strategies that are safe, sustainable, and effective for each person, but also strategies that each person can, and will, adhere to. Without this, success will be extremely difficult.

 

It seems like most people are not in touch with this at aspect at all, they have no idea what their personal characteristics are. I don't think this is a problem or an obstacle, we all have to start somewhere. As long as they realize this is something they will need to figure out as they go on their journey and stay alert, this will likely work itself out.

 

But this is why I would say no one here can really prescribe a solution for you, we simply aren't ever going to know enough to be able to make an informed recommendation, if we are even qualified to do so (I'm not). We don't' even have the most basic info about your characteristics (a/s/l? ) like current fitness status, fitness history (including limitations), and available resources like time and money), so that leaves only the most generic guidance.

 

My favorite description of the advice giver/advice seeker relationship was to think of yourself as an airplane pilot, talking to ground control. You can solicit all the advice you want, and it's very rare for people to not offer something, but ultimately, if you crash the plane, it's your ass, not theirs.

 

Aside from people who go all in too early and get frustrated and quit, the personal fitness world is littered with the human wreckage of people who blindly followed strategies that were never suitable for them. Take care to not be one of those people. If you will be applying your strategy on your own, this is particularly important. Don't be fearful, but do you own research. Don't follow a strategy just because it worked for someone else, but also, don't hesitate to incorporate elements that suit you into your own strategy.

 

I concur with @Rudynate about having a mix of physical activity, and to not ignore your diet. While you need a strategy that is custom for you, there are still truths, like you can't out-train a bad diet.

 

For some context, I have been enjoying the Shredded Sports Science channel on youtube, he has been doing a good job debunking BS, which you will encounter a lot of, no matter where you look:

 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXrqErU_TjqiHAHJkzITAvg/featured

 

I particular like his ongoing emphasis on individual characteristics.

 

For bodyweight exercises, there is an entire plan over at the subreddit /bodyweightfitness

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/bodyweightfitness/wiki/kb/recommended_routine

 

Since this includes progressions, it can be tailored to each person. But this is just one place to look as part of your research.

 

Edit to add: Generally I would recommend not comparing yourself to others, for a lot of reasons, particularly people on the net, many of whom are trying to make a living off of social media stardom. Think in terms of your own potential and how you can acheive that.

 

Good luck, you can have a lot of fun, it's not all drudge work.

Beautifully stated.

In many of our corporate lives we have vacation or PTO. Recognize when you need a break and take it. Don’t be afraid to turn of your phone for a set period each day. If someone berates you for not contacting them immediately consider it a dodged bullet and block their entitled ass. Just a few thoughts to consider. For some the first few times hiring can be scary so it may take some time for those guys to come around. Your patience will most likely determine if you get their business or not. Secondly, for those that ask sincere questions, and are clear in their communication style, I would focus on them. I rarely have had to have a very long conversation before I was comfortable because I ask pinpointed questions. If the person becomes short or is obtuse with their answers I thank them and move on.

Just remember, you are responsible for your happiness, and only you can allow someone to get under your skin.

Agree with that assessment. Good guy

Anyone has been with this guy before?

https://rentmen.eu/Dark_Lord/

He is in Charlotte now. Thought about it

It was three years ago but met him and wouldn’t have anything negative to say or report, although didn’t do either of the controversial items mentioned either.

I have seen an uptick in deposit demands lately, and particularly from new escorts. As a client, I will never pay a deposit for someone without a solid reputation. That said, I’m a paying member of RM too and that should say something about my trustworthiness as a provider can easily seek feedback from others I’ve reviewed from the site. I would consider paying a deposit for someone solid, but wouldn’t like it much. If I cancel and try to rebook, a deposit request is fair. I have had to cancel due to events outside of my control, life does happen, and Ive had others cancel legitimately on me too. And yes, I’ve had flakes, but rarely on RM. End of day, those with integrity end up having the best time. I think there are some good ideas on here to use as a checklist to see if a deposit request is warranted or not. There are still plenty of ways to move money and limit where such information is stored. Easy way is transfer money to PayPal or cash app and pay that way. Then bank statement only shows money going to that app, not to whom. Verifying mobile numbers is a great idea, and if they are a member here or on RM, look for interactions like reviews to see if you can verify legitimacy. Probably too much effort for an hour booking, but for travel overnight it might be wise.

As a "gay4pay" (I don't call myself that, I just identify as straight) escort I appreciate the honest and open discussion here. It's true that we come with a whole range of tastes and tolerances, and there are certainly some bad apples.

I just want to throw one thing out there, which is that we can be "into it" without preferring men sexually. To me, the feeling of forming a physical and emotional bond with someone is fun and fulfilling. And, I can be stimulated by touch even if I'm not sexually attracted to a client-I often get reeeaaaally turned on during sessions. If anything, I think being straight positions an escort to provide a great experience to guys of all ages and bodies, because intense physical attraction is not a prerequisite for us.

Well said. I’ve found that to be true. I’ve met Brian many times and he is a great guy.

Kurtis is the hottest man ever. And a very sweet guy. Never met Austin, but agree he is a beautiful man.

Party thrown by Oliver for Daddy's forum members in Palm Springs.

Oh cool. I’ll have to go sometime.

What is the “weekend”?

Yum