Kody S

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Happy New Year to you as well. New resolution for this year is to try new ones I haven’t tried. My regulars will always be there but I want to venture out.

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

Hey Guys:
 
I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone on the forum for all of your helpful comments, thoughts, musings and recommendations throughout the year. All very helpful and that guiding light we all need.
 
Also I want to thank all of the masseurs out there who put positive healing energy back into the world through their strokes and techniques. Your work makes us feel better that’s for sure! I have met some very interesting, caring, and beautiful guys (inside and out) this year through massage and this site and I appreciate the interchanges and all I gain from your experiences.
 
Looking forward 2018!
Kody

You're welcome @Lance_Navarro.
 
@josh282282: Respectfully, when I read your reply, I felt it was defensive, especially since his comments weren't explicitly directed at you personally. In general, I agree with @latbear4blk. These kinds of things are a spectrum not an on-off switch. You may be much further along in tackling your internal biases--which speaks highly of you and your therapist--but everything I've read and experienced leads me to believe it's not possible to completely eliminate our internalized fears. All we can do is "turn down the volume" and reduce the "power" they have over us. By developing awareness, we can adjust our thinking and actions so that our fears don't impair us or negatively affect us and our relationships.
 
Anyway, it's hard to talk about this stuff. It makes me personally uncomfortable sometimes to process such heavy topics in only a textual exchange because it lacks the vast majority of cues our species use to communicate.

I don't believe I'm homophobic, but I've become very aware that I'm quite the bigot regarding some behaviors. The conflict between behaviors seen and @latbear4blk's phrase above --- "fighting against those mandates" ---- results in frustration and irritation for me.
 
Examples:

pursuit of masculinity. For a population-segment often judged and stereotyped to idealize "masculinity" without recognizing that masculinity itself is just another stereotype makes me nuts. Is there anything more masculine than soft-spoken slender male wearing makeup walking the streets of a small southern town? Or someone transitioning FTM going for a job interview at the NFL?
I get frustrated by the nostalgia and clinging to old norms and behaviors - although I don't believe that's only a gay phenomenon. But older gays, who long for the days of the bathhouses, who resent the progress whereby neighborhood development means fewer places for public sex, to still adopt old ways of referring to other men with female pronouns "Ohhhhhh, her!" or "She". These are attitudes that will inhibit societal acceptance.... I think we've made progress into tolerance. Our parents come to terms with it, they adapt. Love wins out. But we're still not at a point where a mother isn't initially disappointed, or a father reacts to a son being gay the same way he'd react to a son having brown eyes.
Some intolerance for those still in the closet. I wouldn't counsel someone to come out. I try not to judge them. I wouldn't refuse friendly contact. And I would never intentionally "out" someone. But I've also made a pledge to myself that I can't be expend the energy to hide. To borrow a phrase from other life-situations "I may lie to you, but I won't lie FOR you." I feel no need to volunteer information, would try to say nothing. But I won't actively help someone be dishonest, be part of their "cover-story" to remain in the closet.

I've recently been chatting with a guy that I've seen once as a client (fairly typically appointment) but I've been talking to him about considering Surrogate Partner Therapy, as he could use some therapy and healing from past abuses and abandonment. Many of the feelings and thoughts he has shared demonstrate internalized homophobia, including the feeling that gay men are inherently conniving and wanting to hurt one another.
Ive seen similar comments here on the forum, so I wanted to discuss the topic of internalized homophobia. Comments that generalize how gay men "are" or what they should be, or attempts to shame gay men that don't blend in and conform to "masculine" standards are just a few examples of how internalized homophobia shows itself. Here's a great segment from an article I found, which can be viewed in its entirety HERE.
 
"Internalized homophobia is a concept much more nuanced than it’s simple definition would suggest. It is clear that the word “homophobia” in this context, is misleading – the over simplified idea that it is individual acts of fear and ignorancediverts our attention from the much more pervasive systemic oppression that is at the root of the problem. The hateful and intolerant behavior of those closest to us often has the most profound impact (parents, church community, peers, partners). While they should be held responsible as individuals, the real culprit is an aggressively heterosexist society that is defining what is “normal,” and therefore what is “right” and “wrong,” through laws, policy, culture, education, health care, religion and family life. This systemic oppression is meant to enforce the gender binary, marginalize LGBTQ people, and keep heterosexual people and their relationships in a position of dominance and privilege.
 
When we see that homophobia is a result of a this larger system, we see that it is institutional; that it is impossible to exist outside of it; that the real definition of it is so much more than the dictionary simplicity of “irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals;” that the root structure is vast, affecting every aspect of life and culture. All of these factors make dismantling heterosexism extremely complicated, and uprooting internalized homophobia even more so.
 
The awareness of stigma that surrounds homosexuality leads the experience to become an extremely negative one; shame and secrecy, silence and self-awareness, a strong sense of differentness – and of peculiarity – pervades the consciousness.’ (Plumer,1996). The role of secrecy and dishonesty in cases of internalized homophobia, is significant. Some examples include:
 

Denial – ranging from aggressive and hateful behavior to denying yourself the life and love you desire;
Lying to yourself about attraction and sexuality;
The inability to “come out” if you want to, and if you can safely. (see more about “coming out below);
Being selectively “out” (see “coming out” below);
Secret relationships;
Forcing others to keep secrets or remain in the closet;
Lying by omission"

https://www.masseurfinder.com/members/clark_massage2.shtml

I had a massage with Clark last month. The man is sexy, gives a great massage and was very easy to talk to. If I get sent back to LA I would definitely repeat with him. PM for more details.

Definitely Clark; now that I see I share Clark with this many people, I’m starting to feel a little jealous, lol—He’s that good!

Got VERY intense the time I saw him. Much more than a therapeutic massage