ChrisWydeman

Each client has their own story and I’ve had many with unique backgrounds influence my tastes over the years. I learned how to play poker from one of my clients and it’s become something that I love. The client used to hire me and we would meet at a local bath house and get the biggest room available. We would play strip poker until we were both naked and who ever won got to top 😉

As I have transitioned out of escorting and into a different career I have a special appreciation for the experiences clients have shown me, be it trying new food, an activity, or something new in the sack. I think the thing I miss most about escorting were the fun adventures I would take with clients were I got to try something new.

The best predictor of a positive therapeutic outcome is the therapeutic relationship. Translated: the most effective therapy occurs when the client and the therapist trust each other, are willing to work on ACHIEVABLE goals, and, even if they have their disagreements, respect each other and, in most cases, like each other. You can have two PhD.s in psychology from Ivy League schools and still be a rotten therapist. You can be as gay as a picnic basket and still be an ineffective therapist for gay folks. So, it is not really that important what a therapist did in his/her former life as long as he/she is willing to enter into the inner world of the client and attempt to discern what goals the client wants to achieve, and has the skills to design a strategy for CHANGE. Believing that therapy is more art than science, I would avoid blanket statements about who makes a good therapist - and would not rule in or out someone who worked in adult entertainment. A more relevant question would be: which therapist would be most effective for this particular client, at this particular time, and for this specific problem? And that varies over time and circumstance. I would advise, however, that if a client is contracting with a therapist because the therapist was previously an adult entertainer, it is very possible that there might be boundary crossings and possible boundary violations by either the therapist or client. Therapy is about making changes (in thoughts, behaviors, beliefs) and anything that interferes with that mission is inappropriate and not productive.

I think one of the super powers of escorts and folks that work in adult entertainment is experience navigating complex emotional dynamics this being one possible example. If there is anything an escort should be good at its rapport building. As for boundary violations I wonder what is the purpose of reaching out? Is it for help because they feel that provider has a unique insight they might have or is there some underlying maladaptive behavior thats causing a client to transgress boundaries and self sabotage?

This is a complex topic, your client may not be aware going into therapy that their provider has a background in adult entertainment and later finds out through porn hub. The client may be aware going into their first session that their therapist worked in adult entertainment. What I was getting at with my initial post how as prospective clients of therapist that might work in adult entertainment how folks feel about that past. For the sake of this discussion let's assume the therapist is competent and has the skills to navigate these situations.

I had a long answer-but I wasn't expressing myself well. But in addition to what I was going to say which I'm not now due to not being able to express it-it seems to me to be a question of boundaries. In most cases a patient probably doesn't need to know their therapist was in adult entertainment at one time. Take @purplekow's acquaintance, if the guy is a good surgeon-do I need to the knowledge he worked as a stripper?

 

Now in certain situations maybe the patient might need to know-as in counseling someone else in adult entertainment. But even then, it still might be crossing boundaries. The patient might begin to look at you as more of a colleague rather than a therapist.

 

So if you're a good therapist, then you're a good therapist. And having been in adult entertainment is part of your life experience that brought you to your current life. But that doesn't in my opinion mean you necessarily need to let the patient know.

 

Gman

What I am getting at is, if lets say Rocco Steel became a therapist would knowing he had done sex work effect your comfortably in seeing him a therapy client?

Over the years I have seen many escorts retire and pursue other passions. It got me wondering, if you knew someone had worked in adult entertainment would that effect how you view them in other professions? What are your thoughts on therapists that may have escorted or done porn?

Yeah his grammar is atrocious. "Perfect for higher end occasions, always presentable." Where exactly is the subject and verb in that sentence? And he hyphenates well-traveled, well-educated and well-dressed even though they are not being used as compound adjectives and doesn't hyphenate Ivy League or higher end when they are.

I earned a masters from one of the top 10 universities in the country and my grammar and spelling isn't the best. If you have a diminished view of someones intelligence because they haven't composed a sentence to your grammatical standards it might behoove you to revaluate views. He messed up a little on his ad, big deal, I know many bright escorts who have had grammatical errors on their ad. While grammatical issues may grab your attention, eagerness to diminish someone else grabs mine. Rather than spend your time knitting's picking someone maybe you could do something more productive?

If you have a preference on lube, express it, any experienced fister should have J lube or crisco on hand. I am preferable to K lube but I broke my last blender mixing up a batch. Make sure your hole is clean. Make sure your escorts nails are filed and clipped, run them along your lips to feel for any jagged edges, its the same soft tissue and you will be able to tell right away if there is anything that needs to be touched up. Fiber and probiotics are always good for any bottoming prep but especially for fisting. I always found cleaning out with a toy to be super helpful. If anyone has any questions about FF please feel free to private message me.

One more tip if your an experienced bottom find a VERY experienced top preferably with small to medium hands and if your an inexperienced top find a VERY experienced bottom.

If you hardly ever bottom, can you do a routine that mimics something that you would use for a colonoscopy (though less strenuous). I guess just to be sure. If you plan on an evening rendezvous:

Have a very light dinner.

Have a very, very light breakfast.

Then use a regular Fleets Enema - not just the plastic container. You have to do it well in advance of the get together so that you everything comes out.

Then use the Fleets bottle to do a slight amount of water just to make sure everything is out. Not too far up.

As I said, this would just be for someone who seldom bottoms and wants to be sure you are totally clean.

Is it too much? Not enough?

Even if you don't bottom on a regular basis I highly recommend using a shower shot. Fleet enemas have harsh laxatives that can be irritating to your rectum. If you absolutely have to use a fleet empty the contents and put room temperature water in it. If you can't hook up a shower shot then buying a reusable bulb is the best option.

I hate to say it but if you want to get fucked like a porn star then your gonna have do a porn star clean out or your chancing being a shitty kitty.

Hey, in this thread, I was really only asking for a proper double soaping up and rinsing of the outside.

I am not going 16 inches deep with my tongue!

If you have any intention of putting your dick in there wouldn't you want people to know how to clean out? If your just engaging in rimming hibiclense is perfect

So here are some tricks that I have developed for bottoming and if your feint of heart stop reading now.

1. Three serving sizes of metamucil before bed will keep your clean outs down to 15 minutes or less.

2. Don't use too much water or you may dislodge something. Less is more.

3. Using a toy to clean out is VERY helpful. I thickly coat mine with J lube in the shower and insert all 16 inches of it. Ride it for a few minutes and if its clean your probably good to go.

4. After I am done cleaning out I use Hebicleanse which is fantastic for getting rid of any unpleasant smells.

5. If your not bottoming on a regular basis and you want some extra insurance take two imodium an hour before you clean out.

6. If you don't know how to clean out ask your escort or if you need to use their facilities do so. Any escort worth their weight should have a shower shot in their apartment if not for their clients than themselves.

Folks bottoming is WORK. You have to put the effort in or your playdate may go very badly. Find out what YOU can eat that digests well and eat that one day before your play date. If you have greasy food the day before your shooting yourself in the foot. If you are not willing to put the work into clean out please spare conventional escorts an find one that flags brown so fun can be had for all parties.

A friend of mine said, "when you play with pigs sometimes you get a little muddy". Shit happens but YOU can do your part as a bottom to make sure that doesn't happen. If anyone has any questions please PM

Chris

I would have to say Weekend was one of my favorites. Also Gay Sex In The 70's was a lot of fun to watch

I love music and I often like music playing during the more intimate times of my life - especially albums that you can play straight through and they take you on a journey. I'm curious about what other folks on this site like to play when they're playing.

 

Lately I've really been digging "Since I Left You" from the Avalanches - there's something about it that's super sexy to me. I've also always been a fan of The Future Sound of London, and any of their Environments or Archives releases are great, mostly instrumental albums for sexy times. "Holy Fire" from Foals is also another great choice, IMO.

 

What do you like to play?!

There is a station on pandora called "chill out" and it makes for some really intense passionate sex. Blackmill is a great option too I love everything by them.

Will insurance cover the Testosterone cream? And can you guys recommend a Dr in NYC for Testosterone therapy? I see funguy is on west coast, unfortunately. By PM is fine. Thanks.

Try a local street pharmacist. You can usually find them at a body building gym ;-)

Thanks, Chris. I'm aware of the term and a little bit of the sex behind it (pun intended), but have yet to explore it. I will start today. I had a prostate milking experience with Nate of LA that was highly satisfying, so this might be a possibility for me. Is anal orgasm something one can get/share with most escorts?

How did he milk you? By fucking you? Using a finger? If your looking for a consistent orgasm without the need of a hard dick I highly recommend investing in a prostate toy. I think its something you could share with most escorts as long as you tell them how you want to be pleasured.

The dreaded ED!!! I'm sure there have been previous threads on this topic, but I'm reviving it on the off chance that new info might be available.

I'm sure many of us clients have ED and perhaps, like me, for you the various pills don't help much, so we try the mechanical devices- rings, pumps, injections, etc with varying degrees of success. God knows there are plenty of products out there that promise relief. I would love a frank, open discussion of what works and what doesn't amongst my brothers here. I honestly admit that mostly, I just don't cum at all. This is partly due to ED and partly due to an increasing lack of sensitivity in my glans. I'm cut, so I understand that a lifetime of constant abrasion of my cockhead is to blame, but is there any lotion, creme or pill that can reverse the loss? Does doubling or tripling the dose of Viagra work? Is that safe? What about Muse? Does it work well enough to make sticking a needle in your dick worthwhile? If a cock ring keeps blood from flowing out, doesn't it also keep blood from flowing in? In front of your balls or behind them? Do the pumps work?

 

I've tried to discuss this with urologists and gotten nowhere; I can control my urination so I should be happy, they say. Is there a different medical or nonmedical specialist I should be consulting? I am finally out of the closet, having sex with wonderful men, but even a small improvement in my physical pleasure would be so great.

 

What say you? Anyone? Perhaps you might prefer to PM me, but I think many might be interested n this issue.

 

Have you tried anal orgasm? I find them to be just as satisfying. Despite what you may see in porn and hear on this thread a hard dick isn't required for a good time

Is it because bisexual individuals being attracted to more genders are more free sexually and so more likely to be attracted to escorting, or is it more of a marketing strategy to say you are bisexual and appeal to more clients?

 

And would you think that most of these escorts are significantly bisexual in their private lives or mainly attracted to one gender?

 

Gman

Escorts label themselves more often than not as a marketing tool. I have many clients fish to see if I am bisexual because some how it makes it hotter for them. I try not to give it to much thought because it makes my head hurt

Not just for escorts, but for everybody:

 

After the initial lip lock, and some time together, has anyone else found kissing to be more of a bonding than a sexual gesture? And I do mean, tongue in full gear, no holds bar, not-just-a-peck-on-the-cheek.

 

Raison d'être: A recent experience. And it was fabulous. Kind of like talking, but without the words.

I guess the question I have is...are they are good kisser?

I'd love to hear ideas on avoiding hiring a guy who is a dud. By dud, I mean someone who doesn't do what he says he'll do in his profile, or just generally isn't very good at his job. recently met with a guy with 10 five star reviews on RM. We messaged back and forth and he seemed energetic and engaging. when I got there, he had no personality, didn't kiss (he promised otherwise), and generally didn't seem to know what to do.

I'm going to be that guy so shoot me but...

I have had many people in my time escorting tell me they love to kiss and that its a requirement which is fine by me but when they try to kiss it makes me run out the door and never come back. Are you sure your a good kisser? Are you moving your tongue around? Darting in and out like a snake isn't sexy. Do you wave it around like a parrot? I am a fan of deep wet sloppy kissing myself but there is a fine line between passionate and being licked like a dog.

http://infinitespider.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/garter-snake-ken-hip-flicker-sharing.jpg

well Rocco has a current ad in Fort Lauderdale......in which he states (claims, swears) to be 45 years old.....(in some films, not everyone but sometimes even some "experienced" guys seem possibly to be in more pain than pleasure).....I've been known to like "big" too sometimes, but in some ways, Rocco scares me

 

http://rentmen.com/RoccoSteele

Rocco feels great and he knows how to use that tool

I realize it is a relative term, but I'm curious to hear men weigh in on which escort they think is the best kisser? I'm thinking active escorts, and which was the best encounter you had with him?

 

Obviously guys like different styles and approaches to this, so give a thought of what you like or which guy you remember the best...

Lately I have been making out with a lot of escorts that dart their tongue out like a snake when they kiss or lick my teeth so I am not sure i have any recommendations for you. I had a very well known escort in nyc start licking the inside of my mouth like a dog so these days I am not sure what qualifies as "good" to the masses

Critiques of your escorts looks are not welcome, you may be hiring someone but that doesn't give you the right to denigrate them. If you have an issue with someone's looks don't hire them.

"Thinks"? Are those the nerdy guys?

And what do you mean about lack of mobility?

Sorry twinks, I was typing without contacts in. Lack of mobility as in range of movement is limited do to size

I'm hiring my first escort today, and I'm very nervous. I feel like everything bad that can happen will. I made my size clear to the escort and he says he finds skinny and fat guys easier to deal with than muscle guys.

 

How often do fat guys approach you, and how do you handle it? Are they usually shy, embarrassed? Are you ok with them as long as they're clean, or would you turn them away?

I like boys of all shapes and sizes from thinks to bears with furry bellies however and I know this may get me some flack, there comes a point when there is a lack of mobility and folds that smell like human cheese where I draw the line

Well Greg, if you are 6 ft tall, you'd be perfection @ 200. I am 5'9.5" and currently at my highest weight of 230. It's a terrible struggle... I diet and workout but cant drop a single ounce... I am currently researching the "fat freeze" and lipo procedures.... People don't say I'm fat, but I am uncomfortable in this body... and this summer when I broke my beach chair, that was the final nail in my coffin....

Have you had your blood work done? There could be hormonal issues at play. I have hypothyroidism and when my levels are off I gain weight and can't burn off fat no matter how hard I try

"The board is thrilled to announce we will be bringing back the hanky codes but this time its to talk about your damage"

Most of the time, Rafael is mentioned as a Top in the forum and reviews. But every once in a while, someone has successfully had Rafael as a Bottom. I have seen Rafael a few times now and each time, I try to persuade him to be a Bottom and he refuses. We end up having me as a Bottom (I am not complaining -- he is fantastic as a Top). But I want to know what buttons to push or what words to say to convince Rafael to bend over?

 

Yours,

Greg

Depending on what you have eaten, having a GI bug, or sometimes your bowls just don't cooperate. The best advice I can offer is to give him a days notice you want to meet him so he can eat accordingly. Better have notice so you can get clean out than to have ridden the hershey high way