Wolfer

This one made me laugh.
 
****
 
The camera starts in tight on a butthole. The owner of the butthole ("Bo Summers"?) is stroking his hole, his legs high up in the air, laying back on a couch.
 
Another man is in the room, the owner's friend.
 
"When are you going to let me have some of that ass?" the other man says, eagerly.
 
Bo puts his legs down quickly, and starts to pull his pants up.
 
He says, sounding annoyed,
 
"I can't let you fuck me! IT WOULD COMPLICATE OUR FRIENDSHIP!!"

Oh yeah.....all the time.....for repeat business.

Any Dutch native speakers will be able to easily discern between the two sounds, but foreigners will have a tough time to tell them apart. My dialect is a variation of Flemish Dutch, since I live in Belgium. I moved away from home when I was 17, and whenever me and my ex-husband would visit my mother he'd always be amused at some of the dialect words she uses.
For instance "fork" in Dutch would officially be "vork", but in my dialect it's "frinket". Or "beast" is "beest" (pronounced "baste") but in my dialect it's "byost".
 
I've recently been refreshing my French, since a number of cute working guys here converse mainly in French.
I've been randomly saying thins like:" J'adore ta grosse bite!"
 
I haven't used it in actual conversation, though, first I need to brush up on my French a bit more. And my French kissing! (See what I did there... )

Wait 'till you hear "ui" and "eu". There's virtually no difference between these diphtongs, yet they make a big difference if you use them incorrectly. For years my dialect substituted all "eu" sounds with the "ui" sound. I wasn't aware until I moved away from my hometown and people said I was mispronouncing things.

I fucking love that movie!
 

You're absolutely right, I completely forogot about the Spanish "j". It is in fact almost pronounced the exact same way (I think it might be even the exact same sound). 
That diphtong is closer in sound to the English " Er". You know the one you make when thinking what to say like, for example: "Er, I don't know". (In British English. In American English it would " ehm", I think, although that might be too sharp)
Our "u" seems to throw people off too. I once had an American who was living in Italy tell me he didn't know how to make the "u" sound like ours. There's not even an equivalent sound in English I can refer to. For those who speak German, it sounds like a "ü".

I'm a native Dutch speaker. From my experience is that Dutch speakers can understand German in very broad strokes without ever having had a lesson. Germans not so much. I always thought it was weird that it works in only one direction, but I think it does come down to the wildy different pronounciations in both languages. Certain German words almost sound like the Dutch word, only it sounds like the Dutch word has been put through a "Gobblediegook" filter in the German version of the same word. But it does allow Dutch speakers to sort of guess what the word would be. Of course, this isn't always the case, sometimes you get German words that sound a lot like a Dutch word but have, in fact, completely different (and sometimes opposite) meanings.
 
In Belgium this has lead to a funny occurence called "Koeterduits" ("Stupid German", German as in language, not a person). This happens when a Dutch person, who has no workable knowledge of German, tries to speak German by just "Germanifying" Dutch words by changing the pronounciation, adding some extra syllables and speaking in a German accent. This never really works, as the German recipient in the conversation will be unable to understand what the Dutch speaker is saying, while the other Dutch people bend over laughing. My ex-husband has to speak German in his dayjob and I would sometimes start to speak "Koeterduits" to tease him, since it can be really confusing to listen to.
 
I remember my very first lesson in German in high school. Our teacher was speaking only German, but we could all understand him. Although I do suspect he was keeping his vocabulary somewhat limited to words that were close to the Dutch words. Years later, after my working knowledge of German had faded into obscurity, I was on a weekend Holiday where a friend apparently was speaking German (they were doing a comedy sketch) and only four or five sentences in did I realize he was speaking actual German instead of Dutch with a German accent.
 
I do find it really funny that German always seems to have way too many syllables in words. Take, for example, "nurse" is "Krankenschwester". I just love that, such a mouthful.

I'm a native Dutch speaker. From my experience is that Dutch speakers can understand German in very broad strokes without ever having had a lesson. Germans not so much. I always thought it was weird that it works in only one direction, but I think it does come down to the wildy different pronounciations in both languages. Certain German words almost sound like the Dutch word, only it sounds like the Dutch word has been put through a "Gobblediegook" filter in the German version of the same word. But it does allow Dutch speakers to sort of guess what the word would be. Of course, this isn't always the case, sometimes you get German words that sound a lot like a Dutch word but have, in fact, completely different (and sometimes opposite) meanings.
 
In Belgium this has lead to a funny occurence called "Koeterduits" ("Stupid German", German as in language, not a person). This happens when a Dutch person, who has no workable knowledge of German, tries to speak German by just "Germanifying" Dutch words by changing the pronounciation, adding some extra syllables and speaking in a German accent. This never really works, as the German recipient in the conversation will be unable to understand what the Dutch speaker is saying, while the other Dutch people bend over laughing. My ex-husband has to speak German in his dayjob and I would sometimes start to speak "Koeterduits" to tease him, since it can be really confusing to listen to.
 
I remember my very first lesson in German in high school. Our teacher was speaking only German, but we could all understand him. Although I do suspect he was keeping his vocabulary somewhat limited to words that were close to the Dutch words. Years later, after my working knowledge of German had faded into obscurity, I was on a weekend Holiday where a friend apparently was speaking German (they were doing a comedy sketch) and only four or five sentences in did I realize he was speaking actual German instead of Dutch with a German accent.
 
I do find it really funny that German always seems to have way too many syllables in words. Take, for example, "nurse" is "Krankenschwester". I just love that, such a mouthful.

If I'd had to guess it would probably be our "g". I've had contact with people that speak a wide variety of languages in Europe, and I've never come across another language that pronounces the "g" in the same way as Dutch speakers do. Most languages sound out the "g" like it is in the word "goal". But in the Netherlands it's more like you're coughing up flegm. I personally don't like that variation, though, I prefer the more soft "g" of Flemish Belgium. 
I know that that "g" was often the hardest part when I was trying to have foreign friends say some Dutch words. I would sound out the "g" and they'd look at me confounded and ask: "What are you doing in your mouth and throat to get a sound like that?"
I too have heard though that Dutch is apparently a hard language to learn... We do have some pronounciation quirks and don't get me started on the differences between Dutch in the Netherlands and Dutch in Flemish Belgium. Foreigners are taught "proper" Dutch in courses in Flemish Belgium but when they go out all you hear is the Flemish dialect which has a lot of idioms, expressions and even different pronouns than "proper" Dutch. Flemish people from one side of Flanders have quite some difficulty understanding Flemish people from the other side of Flanders sometimes!
You could liken in to the difference between British English and American English. It's the same language even though there are quite some differences between the two.

I'm a native Dutch speaker. From my experience is that Dutch speakers can understand German in very broad strokes without ever having had a lesson. Germans not so much. I always thought it was weird that it works in only one direction, but I think it does come down to the wildy different pronounciations in both languages. Certain German words almost sound like the Dutch word, only it sounds like the Dutch word has been put through a "Gobblediegook" filter in the German version of the same word. But it does allow Dutch speakers to sort of guess what the word would be. Of course, this isn't always the case, sometimes you get German words that sound a lot like a Dutch word but have, in fact, completely different (and sometimes opposite) meanings.
 
In Belgium this has lead to a funny occurence called "Koeterduits" ("Stupid German", German as in language, not a person). This happens when a Dutch person, who has no workable knowledge of German, tries to speak German by just "Germanifying" Dutch words by changing the pronounciation, adding some extra syllables and speaking in a German accent. This never really works, as the German recipient in the conversation will be unable to understand what the Dutch speaker is saying, while the other Dutch people bend over laughing. My ex-husband has to speak German in his dayjob and I would sometimes start to speak "Koeterduits" to tease him, since it can be really confusing to listen to.
 
I remember my very first lesson in German in high school. Our teacher was speaking only German, but we could all understand him. Although I do suspect he was keeping his vocabulary somewhat limited to words that were close to the Dutch words. Years later, after my working knowledge of German had faded into obscurity, I was on a weekend Holiday where a friend apparently was speaking German (they were doing a comedy sketch) and only four or five sentences in did I realize he was speaking actual German instead of Dutch with a German accent.
 
I do find it really funny that German always seems to have way too many syllables in words. Take, for example, "nurse" is "Krankenschwester". I just love that, such a mouthful.

As I mentioned, Spanish is my mother tongue. Just to add to Epigonos's Spanglish list, one of the funniest expressions I heard in NY was "te vacumo la carpeta", which in Spanish sounds like "I will vaccinate the folder for you", when in fact they meant "I will vacuum your carpet"...Talk about gibberish...

I'm always in awe of my friend who regularly travels the world. She is fluent (completely!) in Dutch, English, Spanish and Italian. And she can also speak quite good French and German.
 
I have an ear for languages and pick them up quite quickly. But what bothers me is that if you don't use a language, the knowledge does get rusty. And that's what's ultimately has kept me from investing the time in learning new languages. Because if you don't use them a lot, it seems a waste to put so much time and effort into it.
 
I am completely fluent in English and Dutch is my native language. I can carry a very short conversation in French and understand German a little bit.
 
I read all my books in English too. It's weird now for me if I read in Dutch. My ex- husband has the same proficiency in English and our conversations would switch between Dutch and English mid-sentence if one of the languages was lacking in the right expression or vocabulary.