It is terrible that you are being made to feel this way. Please do not give in or give up. It's possible that you just happen upon environments that are racially intolerant, and (a bit of lay psychology) is it also possible that your sensitivity is perceiving too many movements away from you as rejections? I know from the experience I had when I first entered gay bars. I discovered that I was unconsciously repelling because of my tense and nervous appearance. After a time I realized that the world was not watching my every move and became more relaxed and inviting. Soon after, happy hours became really happy.