Avoid crowds, lab tests and costly co-pays.
Simply go outside and pee in the front yard.
If ants gather: you have DIABETES.
If you pee on your feet: PROSTATE problems
If it smells like a barbecue: CHOLESTEROL is too high
If your wrist hurts when you shake it: OSTEOARTHRITIS
If you return to your house with your penis outside your pants: you
may have ALZHEIMER'S