Walker1

Angel Face
 
http://68.media.tumblr.com/c1fe4ce33fca1ab5d2078462d374b5c9/tumblr_otwvmysLUO1uwoek7o1_1280.jpg

OP plus you are not truly alone. The kids are always going to be kids, needing advice, needing help, maybe some babysitting with grandkids, relationship issues etc etc. You are truly lucky. Many gay older folks I know for whatever reasons never get to have families, kids, the whole experience and as we get older, life starts to get emptier and emptier. A 50 yr old cannot go and compete with a 22 yr old in a club. It is like a gnawing emptiness that eats into your soul for meaning as we march towards the end .
 
I myself chose to have kids through unconventional means . While strangely as I am getting older-not reached the half century mark yet-but time flies, I am getting attracted to women too. But I want to be honest about my history and it is difficult to find someone who is open minded and still wants to be with you , plus I am still attracted to men mostly. So decided to leave that and since am moderately ok financially -decided to go through the modern methods available and have my kids. It is such a different feeling to have little bundles of joy that are totally dependent on you and life is not about you anymore. Not ready to talk about gender, methods etc, but it is a blessing to have science come along so far. It is like night and day, I enjoyed the gay life, but never found love , but slowly crawling to this empty space wondering what the meaning of life was and nothing to show in say another 20-30 years save some material possessions. Glad I took the jump.
 
You have the best of both worlds, a family and now get to explore anything you wish to-enjoy the next phase of your life!

@BasketBaller, you have been one of my favorite forum members since I joined because of your amazing openness and generosity with your thoughts, feelings, and life. This threat is a great read. So many wonderful posts from thoughtful and insightful forum members. Thank you to everyone who's shared so generously.
 
@BasketBaller, as you explore living alone and your delayed grief, please keep an open and loving mind for yourself. There will be some people who will push you to "come out as gay" or you may reach a point where you feel you "lied" to your wife about "your true self." Please don't succumb to such pressure or thoughts. In several other threads, I've tried to share some of the current research about the complexity of human sexuality, attraction, and more. I bring all of this up to make one thing clear: your attraction, love, and relationship with your wife was and is real. It isn't changed or invalidated by your attraction, interest, or activity with men. When--not if--you find a man you want to build a life with, may it be as rich and fun as the life you built with your wife. I'm confident she'd want that for you. May you be well and enjoy this new chapter in your life!

OP, probably a lot of people looking at you feel the same way as you do-that your type is not interested in them at all. I think NY is pretty open in that you can be yourself without being afraid of consequences vs places like say Alabama?
 
If you still can't find the right dude-hire-NY has the best selection of escorts . I travel there occasionally for work and it just seems the city is full of men of all types.

OP, probably a lot of people looking at you feel the same way as you do-that your type is not interested in them at all. I think NY is pretty open in that you can be yourself without being afraid of consequences vs places like say Alabama?
 
If you still can't find the right dude-hire-NY has the best selection of escorts . I travel there occasionally for work and it just seems the city is full of men of all types.

Different flavors of Asians

OP, probably a lot of people looking at you feel the same way as you do-that your type is not interested in them at all. I think NY is pretty open in that you can be yourself without being afraid of consequences vs places like say Alabama?
 
If you still can't find the right dude-hire-NY has the best selection of escorts . I travel there occasionally for work and it just seems the city is full of men of all types.

Goran -who I found recently -what a sensual, sexy, muscular stud. Here he is with another of my favorites Diego lauzen
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=714523110
 
With another of my favorites Dato Foland
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph597dd13ab312a
 
If Goran were escorting would pay 500 just to experience him. Anyone know?

Once upon a time that was me. extremely self conscious, terrified of doing something wrong. Grew out of it, now just don't care-for the most part. Sometimes learning to be a jerk and say f u to people is a real good skill.
 
Funny thing is back then I was way hotter and I get my self confidence when I become an average fattie!

I suspect being "straight looking" isn't why you have trouble hooking up.

Once upon a time that was me. extremely self conscious, terrified of doing something wrong. Grew out of it, now just don't care-for the most part. Sometimes learning to be a jerk and say f u to people is a real good skill.
 
Funny thing is back then I was way hotter and I get my self confidence when I become an average fattie!

Once upon a time that was me. extremely self conscious, terrified of doing something wrong. Grew out of it, now just don't care-for the most part. Sometimes learning to be a jerk and say f u to people is a real good skill.
 
Funny thing is back then I was way hotter and I get my self confidence when I become an average fattie!

Once upon a time that was me. extremely self conscious, terrified of doing something wrong. Grew out of it, now just don't care-for the most part. Sometimes learning to be a jerk and say f u to people is a real good skill.
 
Funny thing is back then I was way hotter and I get my self confidence when I become an average fattie!

Once upon a time that was me. extremely self conscious, terrified of doing something wrong. Grew out of it, now just don't care-for the most part. Sometimes learning to be a jerk and say f u to people is a real good skill.
 
Funny thing is back then I was way hotter and I get my self confidence when I become an average fattie!

From a discussion that we had in the Gallery that I want to share here:
 
http://68.media.tumblr.com/366f48e3c922ce4521c3eb639f3125c3/tumblr_nszw2l4bus1s2rr2eo1_500.gif
 
Here is a clip that expands on the GIF to show what else happens:
 
https://www.pornotube.com/orientation/gay/video/4338/title/muscle-guy-whipped-and-bound
 
A nice example of a sane approach to BDSM... plus a great example of Flogging the chest, an area that is often overlooked!

Fuller version of the original video.
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph577d233986fc0

Fuller version of the original video.
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph577d233986fc0

Fuller version of the original video.
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph577d233986fc0