ApexNomad

I agree, it can absolutely go both ways. For some, seeing a provider as a real person with thoughts and opinions can deepen the connection and make the experience feel more authentic. 
But I think the reality is that a lot of interactions in this space still rely, at least in part, on a degree of fantasy. And when providers step into a forum setting, that layer can shift or even disappear. Not everyone knows how to reconcile the real person with the version they’ve built in their head.
So while it can enhance things for some, I think for others it changes the dynamic in a way that makes providers more cautious about participating.

In addition to everything @big-n-tall said,  I also think a huge part of it is that there’s an element of fantasy built into the dynamic and forums like this can unintentionally disrupt that.
When providers show up here as fully formed people with their own opinions, boundaries, and perspectives, it shifts how some clients experience them. The illusion gets replaced with something more real, and not everyone knows how to engage with that. For some, that breaks the appeal a bit.
So instead of it just being about “why don’t they participate,” it’s also about whether the space allows them to exist as real people without being dissected, challenged, or pulled out of that curated dynamic they rely on professionally.

I agree, it can absolutely go both ways. For some, seeing a provider as a real person with thoughts and opinions can deepen the connection and make the experience feel more authentic. 
But I think the reality is that a lot of interactions in this space still rely, at least in part, on a degree of fantasy. And when providers step into a forum setting, that layer can shift or even disappear. Not everyone knows how to reconcile the real person with the version they’ve built in their head.
So while it can enhance things for some, I think for others it changes the dynamic in a way that makes providers more cautious about participating.

In addition to everything @big-n-tall said,  I also think a huge part of it is that there’s an element of fantasy built into the dynamic and forums like this can unintentionally disrupt that.
When providers show up here as fully formed people with their own opinions, boundaries, and perspectives, it shifts how some clients experience them. The illusion gets replaced with something more real, and not everyone knows how to engage with that. For some, that breaks the appeal a bit.
So instead of it just being about “why don’t they participate,” it’s also about whether the space allows them to exist as real people without being dissected, challenged, or pulled out of that curated dynamic they rely on professionally.

In addition to everything @big-n-tall said,  I also think a huge part of it is that there’s an element of fantasy built into the dynamic and forums like this can unintentionally disrupt that.
When providers show up here as fully formed people with their own opinions, boundaries, and perspectives, it shifts how some clients experience them. The illusion gets replaced with something more real, and not everyone knows how to engage with that. For some, that breaks the appeal a bit.
So instead of it just being about “why don’t they participate,” it’s also about whether the space allows them to exist as real people without being dissected, challenged, or pulled out of that curated dynamic they rely on professionally.

In addition to everything @big-n-tall said,  I also think a huge part of it is that there’s an element of fantasy built into the dynamic and forums like this can unintentionally disrupt that.
When providers show up here as fully formed people with their own opinions, boundaries, and perspectives, it shifts how some clients experience them. The illusion gets replaced with something more real, and not everyone knows how to engage with that. For some, that breaks the appeal a bit.
So instead of it just being about “why don’t they participate,” it’s also about whether the space allows them to exist as real people without being dissected, challenged, or pulled out of that curated dynamic they rely on professionally.

In addition to everything @big-n-tall said,  I also think a huge part of it is that there’s an element of fantasy built into the dynamic and forums like this can unintentionally disrupt that.
When providers show up here as fully formed people with their own opinions, boundaries, and perspectives, it shifts how some clients experience them. The illusion gets replaced with something more real, and not everyone knows how to engage with that. For some, that breaks the appeal a bit.
So instead of it just being about “why don’t they participate,” it’s also about whether the space allows them to exist as real people without being dissected, challenged, or pulled out of that curated dynamic they rely on professionally.

In addition to everything @big-n-tall said,  I also think a huge part of it is that there’s an element of fantasy built into the dynamic and forums like this can unintentionally disrupt that.
When providers show up here as fully formed people with their own opinions, boundaries, and perspectives, it shifts how some clients experience them. The illusion gets replaced with something more real, and not everyone knows how to engage with that. For some, that breaks the appeal a bit.
So instead of it just being about “why don’t they participate,” it’s also about whether the space allows them to exist as real people without being dissected, challenged, or pulled out of that curated dynamic they rely on professionally.

In addition to everything @big-n-tall said,  I also think a huge part of it is that there’s an element of fantasy built into the dynamic and forums like this can unintentionally disrupt that.
When providers show up here as fully formed people with their own opinions, boundaries, and perspectives, it shifts how some clients experience them. The illusion gets replaced with something more real, and not everyone knows how to engage with that. For some, that breaks the appeal a bit.
So instead of it just being about “why don’t they participate,” it’s also about whether the space allows them to exist as real people without being dissected, challenged, or pulled out of that curated dynamic they rely on professionally.

In addition to everything @big-n-tall said,  I also think a huge part of it is that there’s an element of fantasy built into the dynamic and forums like this can unintentionally disrupt that.
When providers show up here as fully formed people with their own opinions, boundaries, and perspectives, it shifts how some clients experience them. The illusion gets replaced with something more real, and not everyone knows how to engage with that. For some, that breaks the appeal a bit.
So instead of it just being about “why don’t they participate,” it’s also about whether the space allows them to exist as real people without being dissected, challenged, or pulled out of that curated dynamic they rely on professionally.

In addition to everything @big-n-tall said,  I also think a huge part of it is that there’s an element of fantasy built into the dynamic and forums like this can unintentionally disrupt that.
When providers show up here as fully formed people with their own opinions, boundaries, and perspectives, it shifts how some clients experience them. The illusion gets replaced with something more real, and not everyone knows how to engage with that. For some, that breaks the appeal a bit.
So instead of it just being about “why don’t they participate,” it’s also about whether the space allows them to exist as real people without being dissected, challenged, or pulled out of that curated dynamic they rely on professionally.

In addition to everything @big-n-tall said,  I also think a huge part of it is that there’s an element of fantasy built into the dynamic and forums like this can unintentionally disrupt that.
When providers show up here as fully formed people with their own opinions, boundaries, and perspectives, it shifts how some clients experience them. The illusion gets replaced with something more real, and not everyone knows how to engage with that. For some, that breaks the appeal a bit.
So instead of it just being about “why don’t they participate,” it’s also about whether the space allows them to exist as real people without being dissected, challenged, or pulled out of that curated dynamic they rely on professionally.

This can work both ways. If you are looking for a real connection,  knowing a person from the forum can enhance that. If your looking for an anonymous or dominant encounter, it can have an adverse effect. 

In addition to everything @big-n-tall said,  I also think a huge part of it is that there’s an element of fantasy built into the dynamic and forums like this can unintentionally disrupt that.
When providers show up here as fully formed people with their own opinions, boundaries, and perspectives, it shifts how some clients experience them. The illusion gets replaced with something more real, and not everyone knows how to engage with that. For some, that breaks the appeal a bit.
So instead of it just being about “why don’t they participate,” it’s also about whether the space allows them to exist as real people without being dissected, challenged, or pulled out of that curated dynamic they rely on professionally.

In addition to everything @big-n-tall said,  I also think a huge part of it is that there’s an element of fantasy built into the dynamic and forums like this can unintentionally disrupt that.
When providers show up here as fully formed people with their own opinions, boundaries, and perspectives, it shifts how some clients experience them. The illusion gets replaced with something more real, and not everyone knows how to engage with that. For some, that breaks the appeal a bit.
So instead of it just being about “why don’t they participate,” it’s also about whether the space allows them to exist as real people without being dissected, challenged, or pulled out of that curated dynamic they rely on professionally.

Honestly, I’ve been on this forum for a long time, and I’ve seen providers come and go. As others have pointed out, there doesn’t seem to be much long-term benefit for providers to stay active here. It might help as an initial introduction, but over time, the ones I know say it doesn’t generate enough business to justify the effort. On top of that, they often have to deal with negativity, false claims, and personal attacks. Some criticism is fair, but a lot of it isn’t—and providers are often criticized simply for having opinions.
I’ve gotten to know several providers who either stopped posting or chose never to participate at all because of the misinformation spread by certain users. In some cases, posters seem to confuse one provider for another; in others, they’re just stirring trouble—or even behaving in ways that come across as obsessive or harassing.
Because of this, many providers choose not to engage. Even a small issue can spiral into pages of negative discussion, which can ultimately hurt their business. So from their perspective, it’s often not worth the risk. There are times when I step in to correct something I know isn’t true, but sometimes providers themselves ask me not to engage, preferring not to draw more attention to it.
Another factor is that this forum is just a small part of a much larger ecosystem. It’s not widely used across the broader client/provider community, so its overall impact is limited.
That said, I do appreciate the providers who continue to participate and engage here. Still, I don’t expect their numbers to grow significantly. It’s also worth noting that some providers may be present without openly identifying themselves—they might read posts or contribute anonymously—so the actual number could be higher than it appears, even if it’s still relatively small.

I have been hiring for 13 years, and have the same issues as the OP. I am always well groomed, well dressed, polite, and friendly. I never disclose my age or weight, and neither do I disclose my profession, or domestic situation prior to meeting, nor have I ever provided a photograph or deposit. I have always hired young, attractive guys, and I have never been declined.  My sincere delight in my hire's youth and beauty becomes evident in our playtime, and memories of the experiences bolster my self-image.
My thoughts: be confident, and have the requested payment on hand. I think very few guys will refuse you. And have fun!

I am 6' and 250.  Trust me, there are great times to be had.  I tend to like to hire younger (22-30) and hot and have no problems having a great time 90% of the time.  Duds will happen no matter what from time to time.  Just move on and take advice from guys here.

I diff have no issuse(s) it even shows on my website:   All Ages / Body Types "Sizes"  / Race Welcome"

I'm sorry that you felt/feel this way. There's so much pressure to be young in gay culture. It's quite sad because we internalize these pressures and it robs us of enjoying our lives as fully as we could. 

This cannot be emphasized enough. If you look at providers' posts on here, the most common complaint is that a client isn't hygienic. 

I agree with everything above.  The good ones dont care about that stuff.  They care that you are nice, respectful and hygienic. 
Follow those rules and you will see how good of a time you will have!

I think being upfront about your looks and how you feel about them can be helpful, but I also know that some exploit it and use is to charge more. IMO, a good provider understands that the client and his needs come first.
Best.

I find that most guys in this industry try to make clients feel comfortable.  There are some jerks, as in all settings.  If I were you I'd just be up front and let the guy know you are new, a little concerned about different physical attributes and meet up with a guy that is supportive.  Again, I really find that most are respectful as long as you are in return.  Good luck and have some fun!

Good ones don’t care. Tell them in advance. The ones that are good will reply with something like ‘it doesn’t matter what you look like, it matters how you behave’. The bad ones will either ignore you or be evasive. Then you’ll know which to book won’t you. 
I see all sorts of clients for massage and more escort style work. Some are old, some disabled, some have scars, some are big, some are skinny. It really doesn’t matter except for practical purposes (like will you fit on my massage table, have you got any conditions or injuries I need to know about). As for what you look like, it’s immaterial. I care most about will you turn up, will you be respectful, will you participate and enjoy yourself. Go for it. Anyone who declines your business because of what you look like isn’t a real provider. If you find someone you’re comfortable with you’ll find your confidence grows each time you see him.